Takes

Villanova and Houston have been the two most impressive teams in the tournament so far

I think Villanova's been really impressive. And Houston. I kind of think they've been [the] two most impressive teams so far and they have to play each other.

Gonzaga's window to win a title has officially closed until they move conferences

I'm officially announcing that until they move to a real conference, Gonzaga's window has officially closed.

Michelin stars should be abolished because there is no baseline for modern comparison

Quite frankly, I would rather not see stars anymore at all. Nowadays it's just how you compare. And there's a pizzeria in Jersey City that is great, but it got three stars. How do you compare that with three stars that, you know, Jean-Georges got? So there's no baseline for understanding what that review even means anymore. That's why I think they should just get rid of the stars.

New York is the best food city in America

I think New York is, but I just spent some time in Chicago. I got to say, Chicago is really great... but for me, New York is home and New York has great food. And especially like people think New York and they're thinking Manhattan, you go to Flushing, Queens... you can get like a hundred different things.

Medium Rare Plus is a real and valid steak temperature

Medium rare plus, is that an actual temperature that you can order a steak cooked? Every time we go to a steak house, I say medium rare plus, they say, okay, great... I always assume that a really nice steak house... they always err on the side of like, if you asked for medium rare, it's going to be closer to rare... so I like it like a little bit more than medium rare.

ADHD is an asset for professional chefs

I think if you actually really did a study, you'd find that a probably a greater percentage than the regular population has ADHD. I think it is when you're... hyper-focused... if you need to be in a situation where there's constant stuff coming at you and you need that stimulus working in the kitchens... I could cook 20 things at a time because it just felt right. I was in my zone.

The idea that you shouldn't eat seafood at a restaurant on Mondays is a total myth

No, that was never true. That was a whole Bourdain thing that was in his book... It depends on the restaurant. Yes, there are plenty of restaurants that do that... but the stuff that we're buying is typically more expensive... that's not a universal thing.

Leftover Thai or Chinese food is best eaten cold directly from the fridge

Thai, Chinese... cold in front of the refrigerator in the morning. It doesn't get any better than that. Thai and Chinese is the correct answer. Cold. Don't heat it up.

The ultimate leftover life hack is the 'Stuffing Waffle'

I like taking my stuffing leftover stuffing and putting into a waffle machine. No batter, just straight stuffing, pressing waffle, and then the turkey over the top of that. The gravy on top of that. And now we're talking.

The only time you should use hot sauce is to mask the flavor of food you don't like

I use hot sauce for eggs. Cause I don't like eating eggs... it masks the flavor, which is the only time you should use hot sauce, is to mask the flavor.

Ordering a steak 'Medium Rare Plus' is a 'Karen' move

I officially accept that medium rare plus is a thing. Okay. At the same time, just kind of a Karen move to order... I acknowledge its existence as well. I personally prefer [to not be an asshole].

Duncan Robinson is a 'pussy' for not getting involved in the Heat bench fight

Friend of the program, Duncan Robinson, when the Miami Heat were all fighting each other, he like backed off and didn't do anything kind of like a little bit of a pussy... I think like when there's a fight going on, you should probably in some way [help].

Matt Ryan is still an above-average quarterback

I like the move. I don't know. I know Matt Ryan gets shit on. I think he's an above-average quarterback. He probably doesn't have many years left.

Matt Ryan is the most Indiana-looking person in history

He's the most Indiana looking person maybe ever. There's perfect. Like you created a video game character and you stopped halfway through because you didn't really care how much detail you wanted to put on his face.

The middle class of NFL quarterbacks is being wiped out

To be a quarterback, never a better time to be a quarterback. If you're an elite quarterback kind of a shitty time to be a quarterback. If you're a 'yeah, but' guy... like Baker Mayfield, where does he go? Does Jordan Love ever get a starting shot? Like Jimmy G... th that second, third, fourth tier of guys, it feels like they basically get a couple shots. And then it's like, all right, we're moving on.

NFL quarterbacks should beg to be traded to the NFC to avoid the AFC gauntlet

This realignment to me also feels like when the west, for the first time in a long time, got really good in the NBA... The AFC just continues to stack up quarterbacks. If I were an NFL player, I would want to play in the NFC right now. I'm a quarterback. It's like, send me to the NFC. I've got Aaron Rodgers, who's got probably a couple more years, and then he's done... but as far as the NFC goes, it's like wide open.

Ken Griffey Jr. is still the sixth highest paid player on the Reds

The reds are on my cool throne, because they're, if you look at their salary this year, they have a hall of Famer as their six highest played player... Ken Griffey Jr. So yeah, the reds are, anytime you get a guy who's been in the hall of fame and retired for like 15 years as your sixth highest paid player, he's getting paid like $4 million till 2024.

Every pro athlete should be allowed to beat up one fan per year

If we just had my rule of every single player in every sport gets to pick out one fan a year and peat every living shit out of him, sports would be more fun.

Urban Meyer's health issues during coaching stints are an ego-driven defense mechanism

I really think that the worst punishment that they could have had for him is not firing them, but just making him continue to coach and lose on the Jaguars... those the the mental issues and like the the fake sicknesses that he would have... his entire ego is built around him being successful and beating people that when there's even just like a small crack in that foundation of him starting to think, maybe you're not as big a winner... he just crumbles.

Texas Tech will beat Duke because of their toughness and experience

Really like Texas Tech in this situation because of the experience toughness. And I think they could just make Mike [Krzyzewski] crumble of being with the youth and inexperience.

Villanova is the most dependable team in the tournament

I just think Villanova, like they're the most dependable tournament team year in and year out... they make all their free throws. They never ever wavered. They're so, so dependable... we have the best free-throw shooting team in Villanova.

St. Peter's will cover the double-digit spread against Purdue

I saw a stat... the last two 15 seeds to go to the sweet 16... Florida Gulf Coast and Oral Roberts... they both covered double digits. Lean St Peter's.

Kansas is the most dangerous team left because they can win in many ways

I'll go with Kansas because I think they have so many guys that can beat you and, and, and they can defend. I mean, they can really defend... they've got some real spurtability that where they can knock you out, because they've got such quickness, they've got such speed. They don't have to rely on any one aspect of the game to beat you.

Eric Musselman is the most innovative coach in the Sweet 16

There's no question. It's Eric Musselman and it's Eric Musselman versus the field. I mean, he he's, he he's very unique... he's going to find different ways to guard you and they don't panic. That's the thing about Arkansas.

Purdue's size and foul-drawing ability makes them a nightmare matchup

Purdue is such a dangerous team because they score from two, they score from three... Zach Edey is the number one offensive rebound percentage guy in the country... those two and [Jaden] Ivey get fouled an amazing amount, so they can beat you at the foul line.

Kelvin Sampson would be the most likely coach to use 'vampire bats' to motivate his team

I would say Kelvin Sampson and he would bring them, he would bring the vampire bats and put them in a cage and make them fight... I say that with all respect. Cause that guy's fearless. I mean, I love their team.

You can only change a child's name if they are the firstborn and under 18 months old

I think you can change a kid's name up until a year and a half... It also has to be the first kid because you can't, if it's the second kid... my son would be like, what the fuck?

Malik Willis' pro day throw was 10 yards further than Zach Wilson's famous throw

Malik Willis to the same throw that Zach Wilson did, but just 10 yards farther. Just wanted to add that as a little note at the end.

Wisconsin's loss to Iowa State wasn't heartbreaking because they were a flawed team

Wisconsin was obviously, I don't think that they were going to win it all this year. They were a flawed team... it's not the most heartbreaking... because I knew I was realistic about this team. I knew they weren't like that crazy talented.

The NCAA rigged the Duke vs. Michigan State game for Coach K

I think the fix was in. NCAA rigged. I think that Tom Izzo and Coach K... Coach K has three friends, one the sports information director at Duke that keeps all of the bodies buried in the right locations... Jim Boeheim... and Tom Izzo. They're like the Big Three.

I want North Carolina to beat Duke in the Final Four

I want UNC to beat Duke in the Final Four... I'm just rooting for the most hilarious way possible for [Coach K] to get bounced.

Purdue is on the doorstep of a Final Four with a clear path through St. Peter's

On paper you have to think you have a Jaden Ivey, who's a lottery pick. You have two guys in Williamson and Edey who were fucking monsters. You'd have to think Purdue 12-point favorites to get to the Elite Eight to be on the doorstep of a Final Four.

I'm betting the St. Peter's money line against Purdue despite the physical mismatch

In the game against St. Peter's... there's no reason why I should bet St. Peter's against this team... with the physical mismatch... But I'm still gonna do it. Cause fuck it. Cause I ride. Sometimes you just gotta take the part of your brain that thinks that it's being smart and tell it to shut the fuck up.

The Indiana cheerleader who retrieved the stuck ball is a lock for the One Shining Moment montage

The Indiana cheerleader, also a lock. That one is the moment of the tournament.

Chet Holmgren is an elite rim protector and I'm a full-on believer in him

I thought he like his defense is already at a point where it's like, okay, this guy can be an elite rim protector. Cause he was playing guys who were 70 pounds heavier than him... I'm a Chet believer. I'm a full-on Chet believer. I like Chet.

You just have to trust the narrative that Rick Barnes will always choke in the tournament

At some point you just have to trust the narrative. Like Fran McCaffery doesn't go to the Sweet 16. Rick Barnes is 25 and 25 all time in the tournament... I felt very bad for [Tennessee fans] because it was essentially like, we fell for this again.

Scott Drew's tweet about how hard it is to repeat is 'major loser energy'

Scott Drew tweeted it, which I feel like is just major loser energy. He tweeted a graphic... showing all the national champions... that either didn't qualify for the tournament after they won the title, or they didn't get very far... That's a weird thing to do. You let your fan base say that because it is hard to repeat.

Patty the Batty is going to be a massive star

Our colleague, Patty the Batty put on an electric show... Patty the Batty's going to be a star. I'm so excited. He choked out the guy in what, like three minutes... I just love Patty too because his haircut and just how he looks. And then he kicks your ass.

My St. Peter's players are not scared of anyone because they are from New York and New Jersey

The question was asked, how'd you guys handle that, Murray State's a very physical team... I said, come on man, I got guys from New York and New Jersey, like, this is what we do... I got some dudes in my locker room, man. I got dogs... my guys think they belong at Kentucky. So they think they belong at schools like that.

You would never see the Rooney family make a move for someone like Deshaun Watson

I all say is that you would never see the Rooneys make a move like this [trading for Deshaun Watson].

The Rangers signing Corey Seager to a 10-year deal is an F grade

Corey Seager from the Dodgers to the Rangers... F. I'll go with a D minus. Listen... that's an F yeah. That's 10 years.

John Calipari is officially on the hot seat

March madness, recap of day one biggest story, Kentucky, John Calipari, officially on the hot seat.

I am officially never betting on futures again

I talked like I'm never doing futures again... I'm never doing a future. Again. I was very excited about it [Kentucky] because I never get futures where I get the right price... that goes up in smoke.

Kentucky's blue blood status should be on the hot seat

I actually think that we should not talk about coach Cal being on the hot seat as much as we should just put the status, the blue blood status of Kentucky on the hot seat. What have you done for me lately Kentucky?

Iowa is a classic 'doesn't perform in March' team

Iowa is just such a classic doesn't perform in March team. They shot so bad. So bad, 20% from three, they couldn't hit anything.

The Mountain West conference cannot play in March

The only problem with Creighton winning is there are no Mountain West teams left to fade cause they are a quick 0-4 and out of the tournament. I don't know what's up with that conference. They just, for whatever it is, they just cannot play in March.

Tom Brady will eventually end up playing for the Las Vegas Raiders

Davante Adams goes to Las Vegas. This lends more credence to my just pot shot that I took in the dark earlier this week that Tom Brady is going to end up in Las Vegas.

Russell Wilson feels the need to tell everyone he is working harder than them at all times

I feel like that was just such a Russell Wilson thing. Like that's just who he is now. He just has to tell everyone that he's working harder than everyone at all times. I'm not going to let him just get by with the bullshit.

Von Miller will not finish his six-year contract with the Bills

I will bet all the Von Miller's money that they said he's getting, which I don't have, that he will not see the end of the contract. He will not see the end of the contract. Von Miller's going to be 39 by the time it's over.

Living in Colorado as the best player on the Rockies for $200 million is a sweet life

Chris Bryant probably was like, you know what? Living in Colorado and being the best player on the Rockies and getting paid $200 million is a pretty fucking sweet life. He's got a ring. That's that's pretty awesome.