Takes

I want my mind to get duller as I get older, rather than sharper

I never want to do anything that sharpens my mind. I want it to get duller and duller as days go by... Gary V being like learn something new every day. No, come on. I'm just trying to just get up, wake up and then go to sleep.

Nick Saban was secretly relieved to lose the National Championship because it provides bulletin board material

I think that there's like a small part of Nick Saban that was kind of relieved that he lost. That was like more rat poison. He's happy that he lost because now he's got all sorts of bulletin board material for next year.

Nick Saban is the greatest coach of all time

He's won it all. He's the greatest coach of all time. Losing one, it's obviously disappointing for Alabama, but man, Georgia, what an unbelievable game.

Kirby Smart is sneaky athletic and could probably dunk a basketball

He probably has like a 30 inch vertical leap... I think Kirby sneaky athletic. I think he can get rim.

It will be a long time before another walk-on quarterback starts for a National Champion

It will be, I'll say this confidently, there'll be a long time before we see a walk-on be the starting quarterback for a national champion again.

The 2021 Indianapolis Colts would beat the 2021 Georgia Bulldogs by 20 points

I think the Colts would beat Georgia by 20 points. But I do think that this game, the Alabama Georgia national championship, had as many fast players on the field as most NFL teams would.

The top tier of college football (top 2-5 teams) effectively plays a different sport than the rest of the country

If you're a fan of pretty much any team except for like the top five, you realize it's a different sport. Those guys are playing a different sport than everyone else in college.

Defensive-minded head coaches like Brian Flores and Vic Fangio are rightfully judged for failing to fix their offenses

It's similar to Vic Fangio. If you don't get the offense figured out, it still counts against [the coach]. Even though he's a defensive coach, it's—if you don't get the offense figured out, it still counts against [you].

NFL owners are generally idiots with the same IQ level as a dumb coworker

The person that owns your favorite team is a pretty big idiot. Just like the sooner you come to terms with that, the better they're just they're morons. Like everybody else, like think of the dumbest people that you work with that is typically about the same IQ level as an NFL owner.

The only way the Bears can be fixed is firing Ted Phillips, who uses the Arlington Heights land purchase to avoid being fired

The only way the bears can be fixed is Ted Phillips has to go... he's obviously in charge of the Arlington Heights land purchase. And I think that will never happen because Ted Phillips knows, as long as they're still negotiating it, he will still have a job.

Bill Polian's Hall of Fame success is largely predicated on simply choosing Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf

He's the architect of the Colts. He drafted Peyton Manning. His biggest career accomplishment is like, 'I didn't take the other guy.' I took Peyton Manning. Good choice, Bill. I'm just going to ride that for the rest of my life. I had one good week of work in the last 30 years and now I just get to coast off that.

Joe Judge staying with the Giants makes him a 'human shield' for the new GM

For a GM, [the Giants job] is absolutely [attractive] because you do have some draft picks this year... and then you have the perfect scapegoat and Joe judge, nobody expects anything out of Joe judge next year, right? Human shield. Yes. You need a human shield.

The Seahawks would be smart to bring back both Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson for the next season

The Seahawks will be so smart to just bring Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson back... You're better with these two guys than like 80% of the [NFL].

Travis Barker is the best songwriting drummer and makes any act he plays with significantly better

Whatever [Travis Barker] does, he's somehow like the best songwriting drummer, where he makes any band or any act that he plays with that much better.

Andrew Luck looks extremely happy and appears to have zero interest in returning to football

Andrew luck shows up out of nowhere... and he looked like he's lost about 70 pounds. My God, I actually don't think that Andrew luck has picked up a football in the last three years. And he looks really happy.

Deliberately scheduling a 'congratulations' tweet for the losing team is a genius move for social media engagement

That is a genius plan to get people talking about [us]... every account should do that... schedule a tweet for 12 hours later and be like 'Congratulations to the [losing team]'... and everyone be like 'Oh, when scheduling tweets goes wrong.' And then sweet interactions.

James Gunn maintains a 'no asshole' rule on his film sets

[James Gunn] also has a no asshole [rule]. And he puts together teams of people who there's not a bad apple in the bunch... I knew I was going to be surrounded by good people.

Competition in the wrestling industry is good because it forces every performer to be at their best

Do I think competition is good? I think competition is great... Whenever there is more buzz around an industry, it's good for the industry and it forces all of us to be at our best... repeatable bad segments from the group means the company can't be good, which means that the competition will succeed.

Getting in shape requires a consistent lifestyle change rather than a temporary diet

The tips are easy. The application is hard. Make good choices and be consistent. And that's absolutely it. Don't make it a January diet, make it a lifestyle change, make good choices and be consistent.

The Steelers will beat the Chiefs in the playoffs because Kansas City is due for a bad game

I really think the Steelers could beat the chiefs... the chiefs are due for a bad game, man. They really are just due for one... I wouldn't be surprised.

TJ Watt is definitively the best defensive player in football

For anybody who's been watching the NFL this year or the past three years... the best defensive player in football has been TJ watt. It's a fact.

The NFL is rigged for ratings and views

How somehow some way, and the fourth quarter... the scores magically are going to line up. If this team gets a touchdown in a two point conversion, it's like, wow, it's, it's rigged. This is rigged for ratings, for views.

The elevator technicians union is one of the best and most lucrative trades to join

In the union's, there is elevator union. Biggest money can make one of the best unions there is. Wow. They like this guy's first year he'll he'll easily make probably 120-125... I mean you're talking about guys that make over 200, 250 a year.

I would trade my own financial security for Ben Roethlisberger to win one more Super Bowl before retiring

If I could have one dream and one thing come true, it wouldn't be for me to be a millionaire. It wouldn't be for my family to be set for the rest of their life. It would be for Big Ben to go out like the Bus [Jerome Bettis], with a ring. I'd do anything for that.

The Raiders were smart to win rather than tie because they have a better chance against the Bengals than the Chiefs

On just a level for the Raiders, it was smart to go for the win. Once they're in that spot at the end of the game... if you let the Chargers in, you have to go play the Chiefs, right? Where now you get to go play the Bengals. I mean, the Bengals are better than the Raiders, but they have a lot better of a chance against the Bengals than they have against the Chiefs who has had their number and kick their ass this year.

This was the best Week 18 in the history of the NFL

I'm just going to say that was the best Week 18 in the history of the NFL. It came right down to the last game of the last week. Congratulations, Roger Goodell. You've done it again.

Brandon Staley's decision to go for it on 4th and 1 from his own 18-yard line was absolutely insane

Brandon Staley living and dying by going forward on fourth down... the Raiders were up three and Brandon Staley went forward on fourth and one on his own 20... It was 17-14. They went for it on fourth and one at their own 18 with 8:57 left in the third quarter. That's how crazy he is guys. Fucking crazy.

The Patriots are ready to face the Bills and should face them head-on

I've never been more ready for anything in my life... why wait? You know, the bills are the better team they're favored all that shit. They're at home, but this is what you want. Why run? Why not just face it head on.

George Kittle is the lock for the Nickelodeon MVP (NVP)

It's gotta be Kittle. We gotta keep it in the family. Kittle would be nice. You have to keep it in the, I think that's the only answer. It's Kittle. I'm just saying if there is a fan vote, he has won MVP. All right, Greg, although anymore losing.

Jaguars fans should keep wearing clown outfits because they are undefeated as clowns

You also got to keep wearing clown outfits. I think if you're Jags fans, right? You're undefeated as the clowns. Yes. You are the clowns. Change the team name to the clowns.

Carson Wentz is the king of making bad plays worse

Carson Wentz is still the king of making bad plays worse. And he'll always be that guy. [He'll] always be that guy that, you know what, I'm going to add the Colts to the list of teams that I think if Kirk Cousins was on, they could win a Super Bowl.

The Steelers are the team you want to face in the playoffs because their quarterback is immobile

No one wants to see the Steelers in the playoffs. I think the Steelers are the team that you want, if you were to circle a team that you would really want to see without a doubt. I really want to see the Steelers in the playoffs. They can't run the ball, they have a quarterback that doesn't have legs. His face got so fat that he can't physically remove his helmet.

Mike Vrabel will win NFL Coach of the Year

I actually do think that [Mike Vrabel] is probably going to end up winning Coach of the Year, unless he's a bad guy and Hub [Arkish] has something to hold against him. But I think he checks out. He's a good guy. Great coach. Even better human being.

The 2021 Lions are the best three-win team in NFL history

I think it's safe to say that these Lions are the best 3-13-1 team of all time. I actually think that these Lions are probably the best awful team that I've ever seen.

Joe Judge has done everything in his power to get himself fired since being told he was staying

Joe Judge was told that he was going to keep his job on December 26... after that moment, he lost a combined 85 to 20 in the three games... he did a QB sneak from the three yard line and the four yard line on second and 10 and third and nine because he was too scared about giving up a safety. I have never seen someone be told that they're going to get to keep their job and done everything in their power to try to have them reverse that decision.

Kirk Cousins needs to play worse to help his team win

Kirk Cousins is without a doubt like top 10, maybe top 5 guy in some of those [stat] categories. I think I figured out his problem though, because they lost a lot of games where he played well, statistically. Well, I think he's just too good. And I think that he scores too fast sometimes, and then puts his defense in a position to lose. Kirk needs to get a little bit worse at playing if he wants to be truly good.

Matt Stafford will throw a critical interception that ends the Rams' season

But he's just, you know what I mean? Like that feeling of, well, this is like, there'll be a moment and he will make sure that he throws an interception in that moment. That critical moment. And then your season's over.

Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson will both return to the Seahawks next year

I now think that both Pete Carroll and Russell Wilson will come back next year. Why not? I think they're going to, I think they're going to run it back.

The Bills can beat the Chiefs in Kansas City

I think the Bills have quietly put together—like they put themselves back together to being one of those teams that's contending in the AFC. I'm telling you, I think the Bills could beat the Chiefs in Kansas City.

Brian Flores is the only coach who can consistently beat Bill Belichick

What's up with Brian Flores being the only coach that can beat Bill Belichick consistently? He's 4-2 [against him]. He definitely has your number right now.

The Saints would have been the one seed if Jameis Winston hadn't gotten injured

The real question is do the saints get the one seed overall if Jameis Winston doesn't get injured. [PFT: Yes.] I think definitely. I think definitely.

Alabama will beat Georgia 30-21 in the National Championship

The final score was 30 to 21, Alabama. So I'm going to bet that exact same. I'm going to bet that kind of the spread at an alternate line... I feel good about it. I don't know if I can trust my own brain sometimes, but I feel like when I turned my brain off, that's when I do my best thinking.

Georgia -2.5 is my Game of the Year for the National Championship

2022 is going to be the year of game of the years. I'm just saying it right now. Georgia minus two and a half. I've decided this breaking news game of the year.

The Manning Cast curse is officially undefeated on the year

The Manning Cast curse, it is officially undefeated on the year. Aaron Rodgers went on week 17 and the Packers lost to the Lions. Week one Travis Kelce, Russell Wilson, they all lost the week after they appeared.

Antonio Brown and Bruce Arians are likely both at fault for the Buccaneers drama

I think the truth is probably Antonio Brown and Bruce Arians are both assholes. Like that might be the truth because it seems like a lot of people are taking the side of Antonio Brown because you have to take the side of player safety... Bruce Arians never wanted Antonio Brown on the Bucs. That was Tom Brady's idea. So it's not totally unbelievable that Bruce Arians would be like, 'You're outta here because you won't go back in the game.'

Antonio Brown will not be back on an NFL team

I don't think Antonio Brown will be back on an NFL team. I guess you can never say never... but I don't think he's going anywhere.

Intentional losing is a valid strategy for the PMT road trip competition

I want to miss all these picks. So feel free to fade me. I'm taking the over though. Colts Jags 44 points... I don't know why you're upset that I want to go on a road trip.

Tom Brady will aggressively target the NFL passing record against the Panthers

[Tom Brady] can get the passing record with 488 yards. I want to think. I want to say so he's definitely going to try to get that. So box minus eight, I feels like he'll just keep trying to throw late.

Anthony Davis has bulked up too much and it has negatively affected his mobility and shooting

I feel like everybody called [Anthony Davis] a pussy last year... and I just feel like, all right, well now I'm definitely lifting more. And I think he came back and I think the bulk has actually slowed him down and it just didn't work. Anthony Davis, when he played, was arguably the worst jump shooter in the league based on how many shots he was taking.

Russell Westbrook's style of play does not lead to winning and he will never change

How many fucking years do you have to watch [Russell Westbrook] do the exact same thing that never leads to winning and think that it's just magic and it's going to work out at some point? Like most of us don't change and a basketball player that's as stubborn as he is isn't going to change... in the playoffs, it doesn't make any sense. He doesn't offer up any spacing for AD and LeBron, he's never set a screen in his fucking life.