Takes

Firing a GM but keeping the coach and QB is the dumbest thing a team can do

The firing of a GM and not of a coach is one of the dumbest things that a pro sports team can do. It's not stability when you've lost 10, 10 games or more every single season for five straight... Why wouldn't you just clean house top to bottom?

Washington should give Ron Rivera an extension despite the losing season

I actually think the best thing for the football team right now would be to give Ron Rivera an extension. That's really what we need... It would send a message that, okay. Yeah, we're kind of a clusterfuck, but at least we're a clusterfuck with some stability.

The Browns would be better with Kirk Cousins and the Vikings would be better with Baker Mayfield

I actually think that the way that those two teams are built, the Browns would be better with Kirk Cousins. And the Vikings would be better with baker Mayfield than they are right now... if Kirk cousins was on the Browns and it's like, okay, all you do is you take what's there. You let your defense handle business, you run the ball. That's kind of the team that he's built to win for... I think that baker would be better with the weapons that they have in Minnesota, where yeah. You can make a few mistakes, but also you can hit a shitload of home runs.

The Packers are a finesse team not built for the cold

I don't think that this Packers team is built for the cold. I think that the, I think they're built for a finesse. You know, they're built for global warming... I don't know if they're built for the call. I think that the, the Cowboys team that we're seeing right now, that team travels better than the cold than the Packers do.

The Arizona Cardinals are frauds who fall apart down the stretch

The Cardinals are frauds. The Colts went in with like a backup offensive line... and the Cardinals are back to where they were last year, where it's like falling apart, down the stretch, getting worse down the stretch... they've fallen apart two years in a row. And it's like, it's more than just a trend at this point.

The New York Jets are low-key electric and building something

I'm going to be on jets. Jets are low key electric. They may not have it all together yet... Braxton Barrios state it coast to coast, 103 yards on a kick return. Like they have something going there... Zach Wilson on that run, he looks faster in the all black uniforms.

Trevor Lawrence might be a bust after his late-game spike play

That spike he had on third down, what the fuck was that? That was crazy... he burned third down with the, with the spike. It's like, why wouldn't you, why don't you throw it to the end zone? It was crazy... that one made me think, like he might actually be a bust.

Expectations for a rookie QB to go deep in the playoffs are delusional

I don't think anyone that expected a rookie quarterback to take your team deep in the playoffs is delusional... If we're having this conversation in four years, like I do compare it to Josh Allen... It takes time. It's a progression. If Mack Jones is still where he's at today in four years, then we can have this conversation.

The Bills are built to win the Super Bowl in Los Angeles but not playoff games in the cold

I still stand by my take that these bills are, they're like built to win the super bowl. The game in Los Angeles. They, they're probably not built to win playoff games, multiple playoff games and the cold. But if they can get to the super bowl, I think they can win the super bowl.

Lamar Jackson should not have made the Pro Bowl over Joe Burrow and Josh Allen

Lamar Jackson should not have made the Pro Bowl. Lamar Jackson made the Pro Bowl over Joe Burrow and Josh Allen. That's crazy to me. That's fucking crazy. Like by any statistical analysis, Josh Allen and Joe Burrow have had better seasons than Lamar Jackson.

Josh Johnson is the best emergency quarterback in NFL history

He's a mercenary. He's like, he's probably the best emergency quarterback of all time. I don't know what it is about Josh Johnson. Why he's never had a team that wants to commit to them... If there's, if you had to draft quarterbacks, like of all time for one guy that you would want on three days' notice, I think Josh Johnson is one, one overall.

Joe Burrow has the 'it factor' because of his elite pocket awareness and ability to sense pressure

Joe Burrow, who's going to be a superstar... it's all about his ability to just move in the pocket and sense pressure. Like either guys have it or they don't. What makes a guy have that it factor? It's can he—does he feel like he has eyes in the back of his head when he can slide up with an oncoming rusher coming at him? And he has that.

Losing sucks, and I love the Harbaughs because they are 'bad losers' who get depressed and complain when they lose

The Harbaughs are such, I love them so much, but they are so blinded by competitive rage when they lose... I actually love that about them because way too often in life, people like you gotta be a good loser. No, fuck it. Losing sucks. Don't be a good loser. Be a bad loser. ... They become depressed. They become sad human beings. They yell about the rules. They're not good losers, and I actually love that about them.

There has never been a quarterback who was average in college and went on to be a superstar in the NFL

There's never been a quarterback in the history of football who was average in college and then went on to be a superstar in the NFL. It doesn't happen. Like you don't, you're not just like, oh, okay at Duke, and then all of a sudden you're a franchise quarterback. The guys who are franchise quarterbacks looked good in college at some point.

Using a top-10 draft pick on a tight end is only for teams looking for the last piece of the puzzle, not the first

Using a top 10 pick on a tight end, unless it's a guy like [Rob Gronkowski] where who can dominate the blocking game and the catching game... if you're the Falcons, you've probably got some other issues that you might wish that you have addressed at that point instead of tight end. ... A tight end feels like the last piece to a puzzle, not the first piece.

Jalen Hurts is not a long-term solution at quarterback for the Eagles

[Jalen Hurts] is gonna make some really good plays with his legs... and he shows he's shown us that he does that consistently. But I mean, I just don't think that's like a long lasting plan.

The future of the Washington Football Team is on an upward trajectory under Ron Rivera

The future of the organization is looking at an upward trajectory for Washington. I believe in Ron Rivera. I mean, he did it, he had the Carolina Panthers, you know, a pretty good football team for a long time.

Wide receivers are transitioning from college to the NFL at a higher rate than ever before

I think that receivers are actually transitioning at a higher rate in these last five, six years than they have ever before... a lot of these guys, there's so much more information now for younger players on how to train, what kind of drills to train.

Russell Wilson is punishing DK Metcalf for his personal life off the field

[DK Metcalf] got his shit aired out by some thought who was like, oh, DK, didn't make me sign an NDA. So I'm going to put this all over Snapchat and tell the world that he was asking me for a foursome. And now that news came out now, Russell doesn't pass it... He's punishing DK for being a red blooded American male.

The Bears should fire everyone from the front office to the owner and replace them with a real football president

The bears are just a dumpster fire. It's top down... The fact that George McCaskey has Ted Phillips and accountant making football decisions... they need to strip it down. Not only front office, not only coach, but like ownership, like all of it.

Patrick Mahomes is missing throws that he hasn't missed in a very long time

The [Chiefs] are getting hot at the right time when their defense is playing well. That's scary. Their offense still isn't there. They're still missing little fundamental things. And I've seen Patrick Mahomes miss some throws you haven't seen him miss in a very long time.

The Colts are a Super Bowl contender because of their opportunistic defense and special teams

I like Indianapolis. That defense is, they got 31 takeaways... They're just so opportunistic on defense. They can stop the run... They have a special teams [block punt]... they're a tough football team.

The 49ers are Super Bowl contenders because Jimmy Garoppolo is a winner and their defense is flying

I'm going with the Niners. I like the way the Niners play. [Jimmy Garoppolo]'s been there, man. And everyone wants to hate on him... The guy who wins football games. You get it to Kittle, if Kittle stays healthy, Deebo Samuel stays healthy... if you watch that defense man, they're playing real well. They're flying right now.

The Washington Football Team will beat the Eagles 13-9 with Garrett Gilbert at quarterback

I feel like it's shock the world time. Oh see, you're predicting a win. I'm thinking 13, 9, 13, 9 tonight the Washington football team over the Philadelphia Eagles.

JNCO jeans are officially back in style

My cool throne is JNCOs. Yeah. And JNCOs are also back... there was a, a trend piece in the Wall Street Journal, you know, something's real cool when it's written about in the Wall Street Journal.

The Arizona Cardinals are officially cursed for failing to tweet the final score of their losses

The Arizona Cardinals just did not tweet the final score after they lost the lions... I'm demanding they treat the final score. I don't think they ever will... It's going to be a dangerous all out battle... as far as I'm concerned, the lions have one. An official.

There are six or seven definitively good teams in the NFL right now

I like how everyone's like there's parity. There's no one [good]—I totally disagree. There are like probably six or seven teams that are definitively good. It's the Cowboys, the Bucs, the Packers, the Chiefs, the Patriots, and then throw in the Colts... maybe even the Rams.

I am betting on the Colts to beat the Cardinals out of spite for the Cardinals' Twitter account

I'm going with the Colts, pick them right now... I'll take them as minus a half... the Cardinals need to lose this game and they have to be forced to tweet about it. Yes. Otherwise I like, whatever, I'll stick with it. I think it's been so long that they're cursed no matter what.

Aaron Rodgers is faking his toe injury

Aaron Rodgers is faking his toe injury.

The Baltimore Ravens have a better chance of winning with Tyler Huntley than Lamar Jackson

I feel like the Ravens have a better chance of beating the Bengals with Huntley than they do with Lamar. And not because Lamar is a worse player overall. But I think that whatever offense they're running with Huntley rocks, it's clicking for some reason right now.

Bill Belichick controls the game by keeping it low scoring when he 'needs' to win

My favorite under is Bills, Patriots 43 and a half. I think it's going to be another under game. Belichick likes to keep it low scoring when he really needs to win. And I think this is a need to win for the Patriots.

The Patriots needed to get their ass kicked to refocus for the playoffs

I actually think they needed to get their ass kicked a little bit... Bill Belichick is going to be living inside the Patriots' asses this week and I think they're probably going to be better in the long term for it.

TJ Watt should win Defensive Player of the Year

TJ Watt is, I know he won't win it, but he should win Defensive Player of the Year. I know that the Browns fans will be like Myles Garrett... [Watt] has 17 and a half sacks and he's played 10 full games. He does everything for them.

The Cardinals are frauds

I've been thinking about them [the Cardinals] all year. I've been thinking about putting the F-word on him... The Cardinals are definitely fraudulent.

Kliff Kingsbury is a fraud who just wings it

Kliff Kingsbury, I think he just fucking wings it. In the first half they're down 10, nothing going into with two minutes left fourth and three, they go for it. Then in the second half, they're down 17, nothing, fourth and three, they kick a field goal. Then they're down 24-3 and they kick another field goal. So like, why did you go for it the first time then kick field goals the second time? I think he just wings it. I don't know. It makes no sense to me.

Watch out for the Saints as a 'don't look now' team in the NFC

The Saints might be your don't look now team. They finish against the Dolphins, Panthers and Falcons. Like they could run the table. They could be in... they still have so many, their defense is still so good. And with [Alvin] Kamara back, watch out for the Saints.

The Jets are going to be sick next year

This team's [the Jets] going to be sick. Next year we have draft picks and it just all starts shaping up. Progress is honestly better than a win, you know, just for the future and looking forward. I think Zach's got enough mistakes in the season. I think he's learned a lot and now it's starting to pay off.

Cam Newton was the greatest college football player of all time

Cam Newton was the greatest college football player of all time in that 2010 Auburn season where he had 51 touchdowns. He played on an offense that didn't have a single wide receiver or running back play in the NFL... Cam Newton did all of this with basically no help. And he was just that electric and that good and ran the gauntlet in the SEC.

The Cowboys are legitimate Super Bowl contenders

I threw out there that the Cowboys are legitimate Super Bowl contender last week... I still think it. The Cowboys get credit for beating the fuck out of the Giants... their defense is lights out.

Davis Mills is the Texans' future for at least next year

Jacksonville and Davis Mills, I think I'm ready to say Davis Mills is your future for at least next year Houston. If Davis Mills had stayed for another year at Stanford, he might've been drafted by the Texans with like the first or second pick. He would have gotten all the hype. I don't think he's that bad, which is a nice thing to say about a guy who's playing on a bad team.

The 49ers are a 'don't fuck with them' team in the playoffs

I'm officially saying it. The 49ers might be my favorite team to watch play football. They are so much fucking fun to watch play football. Not only like their defense is now starting to really like hum with Bosa and everyone. But then on the offensive side of the ball, George Kittle is a monster Deebo Samuel might be the most electric player in the NFL... I'm back in love. I love watching the 49ers play football. They are legitimate. Like don't fuck with them in the playoffs team.

Aaron Rodgers is faking his toe injury to stop people from talking about his vaccination status

I think I'm a toe truther. I don't think that Aaron Rodgers actually has a toe injury. I think that he did have a toe injury... He was under a lot of fire from a lot of people from the whole immunized versus vaccinated thing. And he was like, what's going to get all the freaks out there to stop complaining about my vaccination status? I'll put out a gross foot pick and then everybody will talk about that picture... Now guess what the whole story is about how tough I'm being playing on my fake broken toe, gutting out the end of the season. No, one's talking about my vaccination status anymore.

I'm done with fourth downs; teams should just take the points

I said this in the group text earlier that I'm done with fourth downs. Every other single coach just goes for every single fourth and like three from the first quarter, second quarter, third quarter, fourth quarter... just give up points, give up points, give up points, not get the fourth down conversions and then lose the game by one. When, if they had just kicked field, they probably easily could have won that game. I'm full, wholeheartedly on the, just, just get points where you can get points team from now on.

Zach Wilson would be a better quarterback if he played slightly buzzed

I actually think Zach Wilson would be a little more relaxed if he played buzzed. Less 'Doy' plays. He hasn't had any 'Doy' plays the past two weeks, but in the beginning he definitely had some nerves.

If the USFL doesn't let me kick in a game, they are a dead league

Officially on team 'Fuck the USFL.' Unless they do let me kick in a game. In which case I'll be the biggest USFL guy in the history of that.

The Chiefs are all the way back and the Chargers suck

The Chiefs are all the way back and the Chargers suck. Mahomes looked bad for the majority of the night until he kind of picked it up at the end of the game.

The conversion rate of fourth downs will decrease as defenses get used to teams going for it more often

Will the chances of converting [fourth down] decrease as defenses are used to you going forward on fourth down. It used to be you would go for it on fourth down, maybe once a game, maybe that was your best play in your playbook. Now you go forward on fourth, down four times a game. It has to, it can't be as high of a percentage like it's going to decrease. Eventually.

The NFL intentionally screws over non-winning fanbases like the Browns and Lions

The Browns and the lions or the say, well, I guess you could throw in the saints and the Patriots too, for other reasons. But the Browns Alliance non-winning fan bases. They get screwed by the NFL. Feels like an inordinate amount of time. It feels like the NFL essentially says, oh, well, it's the Browns who cares? Like they, like, what is a bunch of people from Cleveland going to complain?

Urban Meyer has the highest winning percentage of all time for games played in England

Urban Meyer, the number one all time winning percentage for an NFL head coach in games played in England. Yes.

Urban Meyer is a Hall of Fame college coach but his style does not translate to the NFL

He's a hall of fame, college football coach, everything he did in college football doesn't translate to the NFL. I still think he's could go and win a national title in college football.