Takes

The Saints' season is officially over

I think [the Saints'] season is officially over just because we've... they've kind of kept in a lot of these games, even though they haven't [won]. But that Taysom Hill is just the whole entire offense. [Alvin] Kamara not being there, Michael Thomas just retiring early... the whole thing just feels like it's falling apart.

Taysom Hill is the Nate Diaz of quarterbacks

Billy's take on Taysom Hill, by the way, was like, he's the Nate Diaz of quarterbacks where he's... he may not win, but you respect them... like he'll just straight up get his ass kicked... then afterwards you're like, he didn't stop running.

Micah Parsons is now the best defensive player on the Cowboys, surpassing Trevon Diggs

[Trevon Diggs] is now no longer the best defensive player on the Cowboys. Micah Parsons is insane. Yeah. I saw a stat that Micah Parsons, he's already surpassed all of Chase Young's defensive rookie of the year stats and we still have five games left.

Brian Kelly is officially a Southerner now and Lincoln Riley is a 'Cali bro.'

The other news is Brian Kelly's now a southerner. No one asked any questions... I love it. Like Lincoln Riley is now a Cali bro. 'What's up dude?' Yeah. Like they just take the lives of other people. It's like that Ethan Hawke movie, 'Taking Lives,' where he's a serial killer and he just takes the lives of other human beings. Brian Kelly is a sponge; he absorbs whatever culture you put him in.

Rob Manfred understands the MLB lockout is bad for business

Rob Manfred said, we understand it's bad for the business. So I'm going to probably take Rob Manfred's side because he said it right there in the article... that he understands this is bad for business.

The MLB is starting the lockout now specifically so it doesn't impact Opening Day.

They're doing the lockout now because if they waited any longer to do it, then it would impact opening day. So they're doing today what I would just push off till much later and then suffer the repercussions because we would miss games.

The Lions will beat the Vikings moneyline this week

I want the Lions to win, but I'm not... I would not touch them with actual money. Nope... I'll take them Moneyline.

Washington's lucky streak is going to run out against the Raiders

Raiders by two and a half... Well, I think, you know, Washington's, time's gonna run out... time's up. You've been kind of getting lucky.

Chargers vs. Bengals will end in a tie

You know what this guy makes me think of right here? This game absolutely makes me think. Tie. Yeah. I predict a tie... My numbers are telling me this is going to be a tie this week.

The Seahawks need to force-feed DK Metcalf early in games to keep him engaged.

They're going to have to force-feed the ball to DK Metcalf early in the game. The way that he was checked out, like he didn't want to be on the field anymore. You know, a top three receiver in the league, he should probably get the ball in his hands occasionally.

The Chiefs will beat the Broncos 25-10.

I want to bet on the chiefs in this game, but I also want to take the under. It makes no sense because you would think if you're going to bet on the chiefs, then go ahead and tack the over onto it. I think the chiefs win like 25 to 10.

I am a ping pong shark who carries a $250 paddle just in case a game breaks out.

I used to get off a plane and go play in a ping pong tournament... Not Olympic level, but probably... I brought my paddle. It's a lot like Roy Hobbs in 'The Natural' carrying a trombone case. I carry it just in case a ping pong game breaks out and you never know what's going to happen... $250 paddles.

I will get a Warzone win before the new season or I'll get duct-taped to a wall

A month and a half ago I was playing War Zone... I was like I'll get a win before the new season comes out, which is next Monday or Tuesday... if I don't you'll get duct tape to wall. I was like absolutely. There's no doubt in my mind I'll get that win. No problem at all.

I am going to watch sports on Sunday without gambling on anything

I got like a little bit of bad news... I'm going to watch sports on Sunday without gambling on any of them. So I have responsibly reached the end of my allocated fund for myself that I had through November.

The Washington Football Team is 'good-ish' and trending toward being a genuinely good team

I actually think that if you're talking about the entire teams of this show, we are the Roy G. Biv, we're the colors of the rainbow in terms of football teams. ... I think the Washington football team is good-ish. ... I do think the Washington football team, if they are good, they are not good like yet. I think if they win next week... they're good. Good-ish trending towards good.

Russell Wilson is no longer a top five NFL quarterback

It's just very bizarre to me that like Russell Wilson, he's not a top five quarterback right now. ... If you're talking about like the guys that are difference makers weekend and week out, he's not that. He hasn't been that for a little bit right now.

I would rather have Taylor Heinicke on my team moving forward than Russell Wilson

I would rather have Taylor Heinicke on my team right now, moving forward than Russell Wilson, which it sounds insane to say, especially thinking back like four or five weeks ago when he looked so bad, but he's, he's legitimately fun to watch.

I would take Russell Wilson over Tom Brady for the rest of the 2021 season

I would take Russ, obviously over Jalen Hurts and Daniel Jones. ... I'd take Russ over Brady.

Notre Dame winning a national title without Brian Kelly would be the greatest sports story ever

If you're a fan of just objectively funny things, you should be a fan of Notre Dame winning the national title this year because Brian Kelly leaving Notre Dame being like 'I can't ever win a national title here. I got to go to LSU' and then watching his team and his coaching staff, winning national title without them would be one of the greatest sports stories of all time.

John Wall to the New York Knicks would be 'fucking sick'

John Wall was injured. He's now healthy. He's trying to play. And the rockets are just saying, no. ... So John Wall to New York would, would be fucking sick.

The NBA season doesn't officially start until Christmas Day

NBA season to me, I've been watching, I watched the Bulls, but I haven't watched pretty much any other NBA. It starts on Christmas day. That's when NBA season starts.

The Bears vs. Packers Sunday Night Football game in Week 14 will be 'fucking terrible'

They put out the schedule for week 14 and they're not flexing bears, Packers Sunday night football. So that's going to be fucking terrible. ... It's going to be so miserable.

There is a troll living in the walls of the Mercedes-Benz Stadium away locker room who steals jerseys and playbooks

I found some tweets about some guy who posted a picture of Mac Jones's wristband playbook. ... It's the same locker room where Tom Brady's jersey went missing... so it might be shark connected that there is someone going into that locker room or some sort of a troll living in the walls basically.

Robots can now reproduce

Cool throne is robots. They lost their virginity. Not much more that we need to explain there. Robots can reproduce now. They just released it. There was a scientific research experiment. There was a scientific green robots that created. It's a thing.

Lincoln Riley and Brian Kelly moved because it's easier to win a national title at USC and LSU

I really do think both of these moves were about finding a place where it's easier to win the national title than where you're at. ... This is more about winning the playoff than getting in the playoff because you have two guys who could get in the playoff, but couldn't win it.

There are only about five schools in the country that are actually capable of winning a national title

Essentially what these both these moves [Lincoln Riley and Brian Kelly] are saying is that the difference between getting in the playoffs and actually winning the national title... there are only a select few teams, schools, programs that can win the national title and Notre Dame and Oklahoma... basically were like, no, we can't do it here. We're at the ceiling. We got to go to one of the five spots in the country that actually can do this.

Will Anderson is the best player in the country and should win the Heisman

If a player isn't the best player in his own county, he cannot possibly be the best player in the country. So Bryce Young, not the best player in Tuscaloosa county, that person's name is Will Anderson. Will Anderson has 30 and a half tackles for loss. He has saved the Alabama defense this season. He's the best player in the country. It's not close.

The U.S. obesity map matches perfectly with the hotbeds for elite defensive lineman recruiting

I overlayed the U.S. obesity map. There you go. Yup. And it matched completely. It was perfect. So look at the obesity map. That's where the defensive linemen live, which should not be that hard to figure out—the big people live where the big people are.

Stetson Bennett is a better choice for Georgia's offense than JT Daniels because of his mobility

I think Stetson Bennett's actually the right choice of quarterback in this situation because he can move and everybody keeps assuming, oh, they're going to bring in JT Daniels and he'll save the day. No, no, no, no. Stetson Bennett probably is better for what they're trying to do right now.

Oklahoma State will beat Baylor and make the college football playoff

I think Oklahoma State just has played so well. The last few weeks they've really hit their groove. So I think they're gonna win. And I think they're gonna make the playoff.

The Philadelphia Eagles currently have the best offensive line unit in the NFL

In the run game, Philly... they look awesome. ... Those guys have gelled together in a way that very few have, especially with a couple of injuries. ... Seeing a left tackle [Jordan Mailata] who had never played football until like three years ago become one of the best left tackles. ... It's an O-line that's really fun to watch.

The New England Patriots are playing the best football in the NFL right now

The team right now that's playing probably the best football overall is New England. I don't think they're going to... I mean, the Chiefs have one of the easier schedules for the last five or six weeks... but yeah, New England definitely lives up to it.

Sean McVay does not adjust as well as other teams do in the second half of the season

There's some interesting stats on like McVay teams after week nine, just like completely taking a nosedive. I guess the prevailing theory is that like he's awesome in the off season and figuring out what to do for the upcoming season. ... And he doesn't adjust as much as teams adjust to him.

Jared Goff's peak season with the Rams was better than Matthew Stafford's current performance

Jared Goff had a better season in Los Angeles than Matt Stafford's ever had out there. I think we can say that as concrete fact right now.

You must use a meat thermometer to cook a steak correctly

The biggest one for steak is just to use a thermometer. I think people think that like, oh, I'm a cool guy. I can like poke at my steak and I'll know when it's done. It's like, nah, just use a thermometer. Like you're not that good at cooking a steak, all the good places do that anyway.

Justin Tucker would be a first-round draft pick today

If Justin Tucker was in the draft tomorrow, he has to be first rounder. And I know that sounds crazy. Someone has to, some stat nerd has to do like a deep dive on just the amount of points that the Ravens get in terms of edge wise. The fact that they're the minute they get past the 50 yard line, it's like, alright. As long as we don't turn the ball over, it's an automatic three points.

The Ravens should run a triple option offense with Justin Tucker kicking everything inside 70 yards

They should set up the nastiest offensive line possible have maybe two really good running backs and then just run wild cat down the field and then kick field goals with Justin Tucker. ... just let [Tucker] kick inside 70 yards every time until he misses one.

The Colts are the 'AFC Vikings'

The Colts are just the AFC Vikings at this point where every single game you watch it. And you're like, this team is good. They can beat anyone, but they will eventually find a way to fuck up at the worst possible time.

Rob Gronkowski is the most important player on the Buccaneers' offense

I think this puts to rest the conversation of who's the most important player on that Bucs offense. I think it's Gronk. Because they can do this without AB. They still looked not great in that first half.

The Colts are the best team in the muddled AFC seven-seed race

The seven seed just muddles everything because there are like five teams, six teams that you throw in that pile that are either six and five or six and six. ... I'd actually say the [Colts] are probably the best of that group.

The less Bill Belichick cares about his attire, the more dangerous the Patriots are

The less [Belichick] cares about his, his dress, the better, the Patriot's dangerous. The more confident he is. And he's clearly very confident in the Patriots because they're rolling right now.

The Patriots officially win the Brady-Belichick divorce if Mac Jones wins a Super Bowl as a rookie

I think we can officially declare that the Patriots won the Tom Brady bill Belichick divorce [if Mac Jones wins a Superbowl as a rookie]. Again getting a super bowl. Incredibly non COVID year.

The Dolphins could realistically finish the season 9-8 or 10-7

[The Dolphins] have the giants, the jets, and at the saints and their next three games. ... they could absolutely finish nine and eight, 10, and seven.

Cam Newton is no longer an NFL-caliber quarterback

We thought that maybe he was back, even though we had an entire year plus of cam Newton to watch and be like, this guy isn't really a quarterback anymore. today, he had five completions. He was five for 21 for 92 yards and two picks.

Ben Roethlisberger is definitively washed

This felt like a torch game, not for big Ben passing anything to Joe burrow, but more just the Steelers torch, getting snuffed out. this iteration of the Steelers, big Ben just, just kill them on the field. Just euthanize them. It was so sad to watch. He looked like a horse with a broken leg, trying to run down the stretch.

The Falcons might be the worst team in history to make the playoffs

The Falcons have a pretty good chance of making the playoffs. I'm rooting for the Falcons to make the playoffs this year. Because I think they actually, they might be the worst team in the history, the NFL to make the playoffs if they do make the [playoffs].

The Chargers are currently the worst team in the AFC West

Every time I watch [the Chargers], I'm like, they're not really that good. ... Right now, if you're talking right this second, I don't, I think they're the worst team in the AFC west.

I would rather have Kirk Cousins for his price tag than Jimmy Garoppolo for his

I would rather have Kirk Cousins for his price tag than have Jimmy G for his price tag. And those are like the two quarterbacks that they're always going to be compared because they're both tremendously overpaid.

The 49ers are the 'don't look now' team in the NFC

The Niners though, I, they are the team, I would say right now in the NFC, like if you're, if you're discounting the top three teams. they're my 'don't look now' team. Don't look now, but the 49ers, a certain play real football.

The Rams are frauds and Matt Stafford is struggling against winning teams

Last game, Packers, Rams. Rams stink. they won the week three Superbowl against the Bucs. And then every team that they've played, that's good. Since then, they've lost. Like, that's just a fact. Matt Stafford is eight and 67 all time when playing against the team that finished above 500.