Takes

College baseball fans are currently the craziest and most intense fans in sports

I think the college baseball fans have been the craziest of all the fans I've seen so far. Or at least it just feels... it's probably a smaller crowd, more packed in. But the walk-off home run in Tennessee the other night was crazy. The Arkansas home run last night was crazy. Insane. It's a great, great atmosphere.

Jeff Bezos will disable his companies while in outer space to prank Earth

I think the Earth's actually in the hot seat for all that because it's bad news whenever the richest person on Earth decides to leave for a little bit. what better there will never be a better time for jeff bezos to disable all of his companies that we depend on for everything than when he's in outer space with his brother pissed off at his ex-wife.

Australia is back on the map as the 'weirdest' people on Earth thanks to a kid eating a watermelon rind

He brings an entire watermelon with him, and he starts eating it. He bites through the rind, and he eats the entire watermelon by himself. When I say entire, I mean the green, the white part. Everything... it's a huge dub for Australia... This put australia back on the map as like the weirdest people on the planet.

I am officially counting LeBron James out

So, well, let's just do a quick straw poll. Are you counting [LeBron] out? ... I want to count him out. Yeah, I'm going to do it. I'm going to count him out.

Reggie White's 21-sack season in 12 games is a record that will never be beaten

Reggie White... had the greatest year that I've ever coached in that he had 21 sacks, which was the record for a long time. But that was in a 12-game season because we had a strike... So in 12 games, he had 21 sacks. I mean, I don't think anybody's going to ever come close to that.

J.J. Watt is the only defensive lineman I've ever coached who was allowed to call his own stunts based on offensive formations

One of the guys I coached in the last several years was J.J. Watt. And we let J.J., we let him determine where he was going to go by the formation... Normally, the linebacker plays off the defensive lineman, but we just did the opposite with him. He's one of the few guys I've ever had that... just decipher what the formation is and then go play.

The Titans' Music City Miracle was definitely a forward pass

I was standing there on the sideline, you know, right across from where they were making the play, where he was throwing the ball forward. So I still thought when they scored, I thought they, you know, they're going to call it back... threw it from behind the line and the guy caught it in front of a line. So I don't see how it couldn't have been forward.

Gerrit Cole should have just lied about using Spider Tack

Garrett Cole, here's a little PR I want to run for you. It's called lying. You just have to lie. And if you just lie, what will happen is people will print your lie. And then people will read that and be like, oh, Garrett Cole doesn't use spider tack. And then the story's over.

I would bail any PMT cast member out of jail for killing a man, but not a woman

I think if it was another man, I'd bail all of you guys out for killing another man. Well, no, I would not bail you out if you killed a woman. I think I'd bail you guys out if you guys were like, hey, I got into beef with another man, had to kill him. I'd be like, alright, fine, fuck it, let's roll.

Bryson DeChambeau's head is an orphanage where all the problem children of the PGA Tour and the fans live rent-free

Everyone is in [Bryson's] head at this point. It's an orphanage. All the problem children of the PGA Tour and the fans are allowed to live now rent-free in [his head].

Golf rivalries and fans hating players are good for the game

Golf should be fun. Rivalries are fun. Having guys hate each other is fun. Being able to hate another golfer as a fan is fun. All of these things make watching golf more enjoyable, and grows the game. You cannot tell me otherwise.

Kyrie Irving has the most desirable game of any NBA player

I think Kyrie Irving has the number one. If you could pick which game you could have, if you're any NBA player, you'd pick Kyrie Irving. Because his handles are incredible. His finishing at the rim... he's just so goddamn good.

Kyrie Irving would win an NBA-wide one-on-one tournament

I think that if there was, like, a bracket one-on-one tournament in the NBA, I think that Kyrie would probably win.

The best thing an athlete can do is start their career great but doughy so they always have 'getting in shape' as a backup plan

I think that's the greatest thing you can do as an athlete is start your career, be great, but be a little doughy so that you know you can always be like, 'well I could just get in shape.' Like Luka, he just looks at me like, 'dude, if I was in shape I'd probably win this game seven.'

L.A. is currently a Clippers and Chargers town over the Lakers and Rams

L.A. is a Clippers town. Make no mistake about it. Right now, Big Cat, the town's going nuts for them. Them and the Chargers.

College baseball celebrations are the best in sports

I have to say, college baseball celebrations are the best thing, like, in sports. I don't know why it took me so long to, like, get into it.

Mike Vrabel builds teams based solely on player girth and size

I think I've figured out what Mike Vrabel's strategy is here... He's just trying to get the biggest dudes that he can possibly get his hands on. I think that he has the biggest starting 11, just mass-wise. He is Billy Football as a coach. He just wants pounds. And Julio Jones is a massive dude.

The NBA is a 'sick league' where stars care more about movies than winning

The best player in the world [LeBron James] is walking off the court with 15 minutes left in the game like an asshole. And nobody says a word to him. And then he talks about his fucking cartoon movie after the game. Imagine being on that team. You just lost after being champions and talking about the Monstars.

The Montreal Canadiens aren't actually good, they just have a hot goalie

I think Montreal isn't good. They have an amazing goalie [Carey Price] who's hitting his stride at the right time... it's like they get goaltenders that get hot and then the magic of the Canadians jersey they end up winning games... the Canadiens will get into the probably final four and then just get shit pounded by Vegas or the Avalanche.

The 2021 Stanley Cup Final will be Tampa Bay vs. Colorado

I'm going Tampa, and I think the Avs end up getting it done against the Knights and then smoke the Canadians. And we're looking at Tampa, Colorado, and I think it'll be one of the best cup finals we've ever seen.

Logan Paul will catch Floyd Mayweather once, and that will wake Floyd up

I think that Logan is going to catch him once. I think he's going to catch him one time. And then that'll wake Floyd up. Because remember, we saw the Mayweather-McGregor fight a few years ago. Same type of thing happened.

The Floyd Mayweather vs. Logan Paul fight is the start of the 'participation trophy era'

The fight ended. No one won. For the first time, I'm going to say the participation trophy era is real. I think that's my takeaway from this. Like, what did we just watch?

LeBron James will pull an 'Aaron Rodgers' and publicly flirt with retirement this offseason to get people talking

My prediction for this offseason is that LeBron James, he's going to pull like an Aaron Rodgers. He's going to publicly flirt with retiring, but privately he's going to be like, I'm going to come back. But he wants people to talk about whether or not this is the end of the road for him.

LeBron James will never be 100% healthy again

He's old. He's 36. He's not as dominant as he used to be. He's never going to be 100% again. He said it himself.

LeBron James' playoff losses are partly karma for how Space Jam: A New Legacy handled Lola Bunny

All I'll say is it might be karma for giving Lola Bunny a small ass. Yeah. The basketball gods caught up with [LeBron James].

The Lakers would have beaten the Suns if Anthony Davis stayed healthy

I do think – I'll say one nice thing about the Lakers. I do think that if Anthony Davis stays healthy in this series, it's totally different. They were up 2-1, tie ball game, game four, and he gets hurt.

LeBron James quit on his team in Game 5

So game five, he quit on his team. I mean, I don't know how you could see it otherwise. He left the game with five minutes and 40 feet, left the bench.

I want to root for the Suns in the series against the Nuggets

First and foremost, I would like to root for the Suns... I want to root for the Suns is what I'm saying.

Repeating as champion is the hardest thing to do in sports

LeBron has done it once. Hardest thing to do in sports is repeat, right?

The Lakers 2020 Bubble championship simply didn't happen

I think we can all agree that just didn't happen. It doesn't. Yeah. The bubbled never. That's not basketball. Yeah. No fans around.

LeBron James' roster for the 2020-21 Lakers was deeply flawed

They should fire LeBron James, the GM. Because this roster was flawed. And that's his team.

Coach K is retiring because of NIL and changes in the sport, despite claiming it's for 'family'

Coach K made it clear in his press conference that he's doing it because of family, not due to changes in the sport. So let's just all respect Coach K... [but] maybe because the likeness, you know, the players actually get paid. So paying them under the table isn't going to have the same effect.

Coach K is the greatest college basketball coach of all time

This is the greatest coach in the sport, and all you guys do is make jokes and mock him. Most wins of all time. 12 Final Fours. 15 ACC Tournament titles. 97 NCAA Tournament wins. 126 weeks ranked No. 1.

If the Duke Blue Devils are anywhere near the bubble next year, they will definitely be in the tournament for Coach K's final season

There's no chance whatsoever that [Duke is] getting left out of the tournament next year, no matter what. If they're anywhere close to a bubble... you are putting Duke Blue Devils in that fucking tournament.

John Scheyer will be successful because he knows how the Duke system operates

But I think he will, with the right boosters and connections and bag men, I think he will be very successful at Duke. So, and I think just having a guy who won a national title for Coach K be the guy who's now coaching, I think it's a fairly easy transition.

Brad Stevens is the right person to run the Celtics front office

If there's anyone that knows exactly what this Celtics roster needs to be and beat these teams that are on the next level, it is Brad Stevens. Obviously, Danny Ainge said that he was like, there's been moves that me and Brad didn't agree on, and now Brad has full control to do whatever he wants.

The Hawks will beat the Sixers in the second round because of Joel Embiid's injury

They don't have Joel Embiid because he can't stay fucking healthy ever. And they're going to get boat raced by the Hawks in the second round and not make the Eastern Conference Finals again. That's my opinion.

The NHL should suspend players for dirty hits but allow them back for one 'grudge' game

I think they should do this more often... suspend him for enough games where he can come back and then everyone can tune in to watch him have fights all night. I think the rule should be if you get suspended for a dirty hit in the playoffs, you should be forced to start the next game, skate one shift, and then after that point, your suspension begins.

It is harder to stay at the top than to reach it in professional sports

It's always easy to have the hunger before you get it... But then when you are successful, in our case, when an NBA championship, you know, you understand what it takes to be able to stay at that level. And it's not easy... Now you're not the hunter anymore. You're the hunted.

The San Antonio Spurs stadium was excruciatingly and miserably hot during the 2014 'AC Game'

It was excruciatingly hot... We went back into the gym and was like, oh, oh, my God. We start playing and it was miserable. It was miserable.

Anyone over the age of 25 must hire a mover

Over the age of 25, you should hire a mover. I agree. I am that mover in this case. Yeah. Well, are you hired? No. Okay. You need to get hired.

The pandemic has caused fans to lose their minds and forget how to behave in arenas

I do think the pandemic has fucked people up more than we realize. And people are just getting back into the real world and losing their fucking minds. Preseason. Yes, preseason. No one knows how to act right now. Give it a couple weeks. I do not think it's some huge epidemic where this is going to be the new norm that fans are just fucking with players constantly.

The media will soon claim that sports were better without fans in the building

I'm going to level it up. I'm going to say by the time you're hearing my voice, if it's in the afternoon tomorrow... somebody will have already written the take that sports were better when there were no fans in the building.

The Celtics will not win another game in their series against the Nets

[Jason Tatum] had 50, right? Yeah, that's fine... The starting lineup, it's one of those things where it doesn't matter. You could play those starting two lineups 100 times and the Celtics might win one. [Big Cat: 'Can we call it over?'] 100%. It's over.

Joel Embiid didn't hurt his knee; he actually hurt his back or tailbone

I don't think [Joel Embiid] hurt his knee. I think he hurt his ass slash back. He grabbed his back. He fell on his back. His back has been bothering him all year. He grabbed his back, but he also grabbed the back of his leg. This is Drew Brees' ribs all over again. Joel Embiid's back is hurt.

Tom Thibodeau's coaching style prevents teams from having an extra gear in the playoffs

Tom Thibodeau is a fantastic coach, and he will always get your team to overachieve and play to their max ability during the regular season. And then when you get to the postseason, there's no extra gear... he also played Julius Randle the most minutes of anyone in the NBA this year. It's always going to go like this when you do that with your star player who can't figure out a double team.

I'm predicting a vintage, dominant LeBron James performance in Game 5 against the Suns

I think we're going to get like a vintage, vintage LeBron just every single way... 38 [points], 12 [rebounds], 8 [assists]. It's going to be one of those stat lines where Nick Wright will be like, 'no player since Michael Jordan has ever done this in the playoffs.'

Luka Doncic is actually several years older than the Mavericks claim

I think Luka's older than we think he is... I think it's a Danny Almonte, Alfonso Soriano thing. I don't think Luka's 22 years old. I think Luka's probably 27, 28 years old. If you're a player that's not born in the United States and you come over, there's a lot of paperwork that can get either lost or changed very easily.

A no-show in a Game 7 is a worse way to lose than a late-game collapse

There's actually nothing worse than a no-show in game seven. Like, losing in game seven... I know that that's bad in 2013 when they lost the way they lost. I would contend that a no-show the way they lost tonight [Game 7 vs Canadiens] where you get a fucking goal with 30 seconds left to just have something on the score sheet, that hurts so much worse.

If the Cowboys don't win a Super Bowl in the next 20 years, they will become the NFL's version of the Toronto Maple Leafs

The Cowboys, I think, have the element of... They're one of the teams that you think of when you think of football. The Leafs are one of the teams you think of when you think of hockey. They have historical relevance, but it's all in the past... If the Cowboys, if we're sitting here 2045 and the Cowboys haven't gone back to a Super Bowl, they would be the Maple Leafs.