Takes

My 2019 Final Four: Virginia, Duke, Kentucky, and Michigan

So my Final Four is Virginia, Duke, Kentucky... and Michigan.

My 2019 Final Four: Duke, Gonzaga, Virginia, and UNC

I have Duke, Gonzaga, Virginia, and UNC in my final four.

Oregon will upset Wisconsin in the first round of the 2019 NCAA Tournament

I'm going straight chalk this year in every game. I think the committee, again, this is the year they get it right, and I'm going Oregon over Wisconsin. That's my only upset.

Wisconsin will reach the Elite Eight after Oklahoma upsets Virginia in the second round

I think Kansas State's going to get upset, which leads to the classic second round, Wisconsin being favored. And then Oklahoma's going to upset Virginia. Wisconsin's going to beat Oklahoma [to reach the Elite Eight].

I am officially canceling Beto O'Rourke because I don't know how to pronounce his name

I've already canceled you. I push you to the side, Beto, and you're done because I can't say your name. It's a very simple test. I need to be able to say your name [instantly].

Tyler Herro will be a top 20 pick in the NBA Draft

The key for Kentucky is your boy Tyler Herro from Wisconsin... he's been awesome. He's going to end up a top 20 pick in the NBA draft.

Rick Pitino will attend the Minnesota vs. Louisville game despite saying he won't

[Rick Pitino] swears he will not [be at the Minnesota vs. Louisville game], but that of course means he will. He will be sitting behind the Minnesota bench. He'll have on a Greek scarf. His hair will be fluffed up.

UC Irvine will upset Kansas State and reach the Sweet 16

I'll tell a big upset I like. I like UC Irvine to the Sweet 16. They play Kansas State. Dean Wade's not going to play. I don't like Kansas State at all... And UC Irvine's the only team in the tournament with 30 wins.

Virginia will never win anything because they play the worst form of basketball

You couldn't make me bet on Virginia. Virginia was never going to win anything. I still think they're the worst form of basketball. Only nerds like them... I just cannot believe that college basketball karma would let the Cavaliers go to a Final Four. I'm picking them to lose again.

The 2019 National Champion will come from a group of six elite teams: Duke, Kentucky, UNC, Tennessee, Virginia, or Gonzaga

I would probably say Duke one. I would say Kentucky and Carolina kind of 2A, 2B. And then probably Tennessee, Virginia, Gonzaga. And then I think everybody else kind of sucks. I think the champ's going to be one of those six. I would take, if you gave me those six against the field, I would bet everything.

John Beilein is the best pure X and O coach in college basketball

I actually think the best pure X and O coach in the tournament is John Beilein. Because even though everywhere he goes, they do better than they should, he never has guys that are super talented... as a pure coach, he's the best in the country.

MLB should fix baseball by forcing live look-ins of every Mike Trout at-bat on all cable stations

MLB should buy airtime on every cable station out there. So every time Mike Trout comes to the plate, it's a live looking in the bottom left corner. Even if you don't like baseball, it will just get everyone to watch Mike Trout's at-bats.

Ben Roethlisberger intentionally fumbled to sabotage offensive coordinator Todd Haley

Did Big Ben fumble? On purpose? ... Absolutely yes.

Duke is guaranteed to win the 2019 National Championship

No chance Duke doesn't win the title. Put it on a shirt.

Bracket regions should be named Top Left, Bottom Left, Top Right, and Bottom Right to be standard across all websites

I don't like [the pod system]. Let's make it standard because my biggest problem with March Madness and the whole bracket system in general is it's usually not standard across all the different sports websites out there. It should be called top left, bottom left, top right, bottom right. Make it easy for me.

Oregon will upset Wisconsin in the first round of the 2019 NCAA Tournament

Check out that Oregon-Wisconsin game, which is a one-and-a-half-point underdog for Oregon. Huge upset coming. I've been betting on them a bunch... I was basically putting Oregon in and going to sleep.

Conference championship games on Selection Sunday do not matter for NCAA tournament seeding

Everyone thinks that the conference championship games matter a ton, but if you think the committee... The committee's just like us. They're fucking lazy. They're not going to sit there and watch the Big Ten championship and be like, well, now we've got to change everything we've done all weekend. They filled it out. They're ready to go.

Isaiah Thomas deserves a tribute video from the Boston Celtics

My Who's Back of the Week is Isaiah Thomas... He's playing the Celtics tonight. I think they have to play the video. He deserves a tribute video. He was a great Celtics player, and he's back tonight. I hope he gets it.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is the perfect Dolphins QB and will definitely beat the Patriots once during the season

I don't think there's been a more perfect move in the history of the NFL than Ryan Fitzpatrick going to the Dolphins... Ryan Fitzpatrick is like the perfect, we can rebuild, but he'll give us four or five wins... if you don't think that Ryan Fitzpatrick is beating the Patriots once this year, you don't know football.

Maryland will make a deep run to the Elite Eight in the 2019 NCAA Tournament

I think Maryland is vastly forgotten because of the way they played in the Big Ten tournament... [Matt Painter] thought, aside from Purdue, Michigan, or Michigan State, he thought Maryland could make the deepest run... I'm going to take Duke over Maryland in the East Regional Final.

Yale will upset LSU in the first round of the 2019 NCAA Tournament

LSU doesn't have its coach. Yale has an NBA prospect in Miye Oni... I'm going to take Yale to beat LSU.

Florida State will beat Gonzaga for the second straight year in the Sweet 16

I've got Gonzaga against Florida State in the Sweet 16... I got Florida State for the second straight year beating Gonzaga.

Michigan will advance to the Final Four out of the West region

Out of the region of Sizzle, I've got Michigan advancing to the Final Four... Michigan's lost to Michigan State three times, but Beilein we know, great in the tournament.

Oregon will advance to the Sweet 16 in the 2019 NCAA Tournament

In the region of grind... my breakthrough in this region, I'm going to take Oregon to the Sweet 16... Oregon's defense has been sensational... and as we know, Wisconsin has struggled to score. I think it's a really difficult matchup.

Cincinnati will upset Tennessee in the second round of the NCAA Tournament

I'm going to take Purdue against Cincinnati in Sweet 16... Cincinnati did not get a great seed, but they are playing in Columbus... so I'm going to take Purdue against Cincinnati in Sweet 16.

North Carolina will defeat Duke in 'Phase 4' for the National Championship

North Carolina and Duke, who, again, we haven't had that in the NCAA tournament... Duke Carolina in Phase 4... I think North Carolina beats Duke in the national title.

The Lakers should trade LeBron James

Jeff Van Gundy put it out in the universe like last week that the Lakers should trade LeBron, and it's awesome. They should. They should. He's not like he's paying him to be a basketball player.

A football league with two of Johnny Manziel, Tim Tebow, or Colin Kaepernick will attract massive viewership

They're starting to approach my theory, which is if you can get Johnny Manziel, Tim Tebow, Colin Kaepernick, any two of those three, if you have two of those three quarterbacks in your league, people will tune in in droves to watch it.

Josh Rosen should be eligible for Rookie of the Year in 2019

Josh Rosen or maybe Kyler Murray throwing a rookie connection. Yes, Rosen is absolutely, he should be eligible for Rookie of the Year next year.

John Elway has figured out that his draft mistakes were caused by quarterbacks being too young

So I think Elway's figured it out. So he's learned from his mistakes. He's getting all these tall quarterbacks that aren't very good, but the problem is he's drafting them. So he's had such a terrible record in the draft that he's figured out that the problem is that they were too young.

You cannot actively tank in the NFL because players won't buy in

I actually think the NFL, you can't really actively tank. You can't say before the season we are trying to lose because it's such a hard league to stay in for the players. And if the players know that, it's all going to fall apart very quickly.

The Giants will not draft Dwayne Haskins because it would undermine Eli Manning's confidence

What I see them doing, I don't see them going for Dwayne Haskins. I feel like in Gettleman's mind, that would undermine Eli's confidence in himself.

Basketball players just need to play basketball, regardless of injury risk

This is basketball. It's not football. It's not any of these other sports. Like, basketball players need to play basketball... LeBron, that's what all these players, even Blake Griffin said it himself. You have to play to play. It sounds dumb saying it out loud. You've got to play.

Duke will win the 2019 National Championship by double digits

[Duke] wins the championship by... 20? ... I'm not worried at all... There was never a single point where I was worried, and I'm going to continue to not be worried.

Michigan's student section is the toughest and most ruthless in the Big Ten

Probably Michigan State. They're kind on top of you at the court. Or Michigan. Michigan, the fans are – I don't know what it is about their student section, but they're, like, ruthless. Like, they'll talk about my mom. They'll talk about acne. They'll talk about whatever it is, just to try and get into my skin.

Ethan Happ will never miss another free throw if he thinks the word 'wet' before shooting

I need you to when you get to the free throw line just say in your head wet right before you shoot just go wet and it just like it will change everything... You actually will not miss another free throw for the rest of the season. Isn't that wild?

The Big 12 tournament at the Sprint Center is the best post-season college conference tournament

I think it's the best post-season college conference tournament because you always know it's Kansas City. It's always Sprint Center. Pretty easy for a lot of the school's fans to get here.

Kansas lacks the cohesiveness of Kansas State and Texas Tech heading into the Big 12 tournament

They're starting four freshmen right now... they don't have the cohesiveness, I think, that K-State and Texas Tech have going into this tournament this week.

Zion Williamson is the closest thing to LSU-era Shaquille O'Neal in terms of physical dominance

I've never seen anything like him. The closest thing I can remember to Zion is when Shaq played at LSU. And not in terms of how good a player he is, but just the cartoon character nature of this kid's physical dominance.

Nike will sign Zion Williamson to a $75M-$100M deal because of his marketing potential

I think Nike's going to sign him to a $75 million to $100 million deal because, A, they owe it to him, but, B, this kid's going to sell sneakers... I guarantee you when he's in the NBA, they're going to double stitch those bad boys.

Duke will not advance past the Elite Eight if Zion Williamson doesn't play

No. No, I don't. I think this kid is so dominant, guys... if Zion doesn't play... no.

Ja Morant is the second-best player in the 2019 NBA Draft and an electric passer

I think he's the second-best player in the draft... This kid is unique because he, I got to say it the right way, he's Trey Young with more athleticism... I'd be shocked if he doesn't go two.

Florida State is a March Madness dark horse because of their incredible length

One, they've been good all year, but no one ever talks about them... that's Florida State because they got like 15 guys. I mean, and they got like seven guys over seven feet. It's amazing... All they did this year in a great league is go... 25-6.

Maryland's Bruno Fernando will end up being a lottery pick in the NBA Draft

They have a developing young big guy in Bruno Fernando who's going to end up in the lottery. People don't know that yet because I think our guys at ESPN have him 27th. He's going to end up in the lottery.

Utah State is a sneaky mid-major dark horse to watch in the NCAA tournament

If you want a sneaky team, if they get in, and that's a sneaky mid-major, would be Utah State... Sneaky good team. Good coach, a lot of shooters, and a good young big man.

It would be more shocking if an LSU basketball coach was not cheating

Again, I would be more shocked if the LSU basketball coach wasn't cheating. I saw blue chips.

Raphael is the best and only cool Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

I'm a Raphael. Raphael was the bad boy who April had a crush on... Raphael was the one who would always get them in trouble because he was such a badass. Raphael was the one, he was like the guy who kind of, the straw that stirred the drink.

Boneless wings are just chicken nuggets

A boneless wing... It's a fun fact. They're not even wings... They're chicken nuggets.

The Giants are tanking a year too late

They're tanking a year too late from what they... Like, last year they should have, like you said, not given... they trotted out Eli Manning's corpse. You then didn't lose enough to be the number one pick this year and get Kyler Murray, so then you had to trade Odell Beckham to then get the picks so that you could then trade up for the number one pick that you could have had if you had just done what everyone said, just lose.

The Cleveland Browns will win the AFC North

The Browns are the best team in the AFC North. Yeah, they are the best team in the AFC North. The Ravens watched part of their defense walk out. The Bengals are the Bengals. The Browns are going to win the AFC North.