Takes

I would definitely hit at least one home run if I came out of retirement in 2018

The only thing I can guarantee you, I'm going to hit a homer. At least one. Yes. I just don't know when.

Aaron Rodgers is not overrated for only having one Super Bowl ring

I don't think people should throw trash about him because, first of all, he's one of the greatest quarterback. He's going to finish there his career. One of the greatest I ever played a game. And bro, at the end of the day, winning a Super Bowl is not an easy thing to do. The longest you win one, you're good.

The Dodgers will be special and could win the World Series because it's hard for Houston to go back-to-back

It's not going to be Houston again. It's hard to go back to back. I believe the Dodgers can be a special this year.

Clayton Kershaw runs out of gas in the playoffs because he pitches too much in the regular season

I think Kershaw, he need to start looking at the regular season, he needs to reflect the playoff on the regular season. He seems like he goes too far during the regular season. And once the playoff kicks in, he seems like he is a little bit out of gas. If you are up by five runs in the sixth, why you got to continue going out there?

Charge calls are the worst part about basketball and should be banned

I don't understand what's a charge and what's a block anymore, so you've got to just get rid of one of them, and you're not going to get rid of the block call. [Charges] are the worst part about basketball in general.

I can't shoot free throws if I can see myself on the jumbotron behind the basket

If I can ever see myself shooting a free throw on a camera or something in the background, I'll miss every time. I've played in games where you can see yourself on the video board behind the basket shooting. That fucks you up.

The Raptors are the most likely team to beat LeBron James and the Cavaliers in the 2018 East

Probably the Raptors. The Raptors are so good right now. I think I believe in them, too. They are very good right now. All the guys are playing well. Everybody on their team is playing well.

The 2018 first weekend was the craziest in NCAA tournament history

I actually I'm gonna say it: it was the craziest first weekend in tournament history. We had the first ever 16 beat a one... you had two seeds that both could have won the tournament, UNC and Cincy, and then you had two three seeds, Michigan State and Tennessee, who lost.

The UMBC upset was a calculated move by the school to develop a national profile and drive admissions

I'm staying a little bit woke on that... this was a very good opportunity for UMBC to develop a national profile with a Twitter account. And then they used it to start like promoting their president. And they tweeted out like links to apply to UMBC.

Kentucky has the easiest path to the Final Four in 2018

Kentucky could not have had a better bracket. Now with everyone imploding in their bracket, they have to get to the Final Four. Because they have no choice now. They have the easiest path to the Final Four.

The Syracuse zone is the college basketball equivalent of Navy's triple-option offense

I compare the Syracuse zone to Georgia Tech's offense or Navy's offense in football. It's not fun to watch. It's not especially exciting. But it's so much different from everything else that you see all year that a team that plays that zone can beat any team in the country a couple times out of ten.

2018 is the year Mark Few and Gonzaga finally break through to the Final Four

If it's going to be any year, Xavier's out, the one is out, and the two is out in their bracket. So Gonzaga could finally make their first Final Four, and Mark Few could finally be talked about as one of the best coaches in basketball.

Deandre Ayton and Allonzo Trier checked out of the Arizona program early for the NBA

I thought in Arizona it was disinterest. I thought they thought, okay, we'll play this game, but then it got to be too much hard work... I think Trier and the big kid [Deandre] Ayton had said they're going to the NBA. I think they just checked out.

Miles Bridges doesn't have a versatile game and is just a jump shooter

Everybody tells me how good Miles Bridges is, right? He's great. And I've said he doesn't really have a game. He's a jump shooter. He's a really nice kid... but how – if you're supposed to be an NBA lottery pick... you've got to be able to go in the middle of a zone.

Villanova is the best team in the 2018 NCAA tournament

Nova, absolutely. Nova's the best team in the thing so far, I think.

Chris Farley is not funny; he's just a 'fat guy jiggling'

Chris Farley still isn't funny. People have sent me these memes on Chris Farley. I'm like, yeah, it's a fat guy jiggling. Every meme I see, he's just jiggling.

I chose retirement to avoid moving my family for a one-year deal

It's going to be a one year deal. So it's probably going to only be for six months. And then I'm going to move back to Nebraska... If I was going to play, I felt like it was going to be me being a little bit selfish because it's been about me the last 10 years. So maybe it's time to be about my family a little bit more.

Kentucky getting to the Final Four against this weak competition in the South would 'cheapen' the accomplishment

I know a Final Four is always special. But does Kentucky really want to get there against this competition in the South? I would say it cheapens it. I mean, what's the point of going to Final Four if you beat a couple shitty teams, right?

If your name is 'Big Baby' Davis, you shouldn't be allowed to be charged as an adult in court

Also, we'll have to ask our lawyer about this, but if your name is Big Baby, can you really be charged as an adult?

The Cleveland Browns should draft Saquon Barkley #1 overall so they don't have to choose their own quarterback

If I'm the Browns, I would definitely take Saquon Barkley number one overall, because that way they make the decision for you as to what quarterback you're going to take... They take [Sam] Darnold. It's like, well, I got to take [Josh] Rosen. I got to take [Baker] Mayfield.

New Rule: Ban beer for golf fans, but require PGA golfers to drink one beer every three holes

Yes Rory, we can ban beer from PGA events, but the golfers then have to drink... they have to drink one beer per three holes. I think that's fair.

The anxiety of betting on March Madness is crippling.

I hate March Madness... because the anxiety of betting is crippling. I love it because it's an excuse to sit and watch basketball for 24 hours in four days span.

Loyola Chicago is a team of destiny in the NCAA Tournament.

Are we willing to call [Loyola Chicago] our team of destiny yet? Because I'm inching them towards that spot.

The 2018 NCAA Tournament has the worst hair in tournament history.

I'd like to just say this might be the worst hair that I've ever seen in the NCAA tournament all around. It used to be bad tattoos. Now it's bad hair.

Tom Crean will never have an FBI scandal because he is 100% above board.

There's zero chance that Georgia gets caught up in an FBI scandal with Tom Crean. Because that guy is above board 100%.

A 16-seed will only ever beat a 1-seed if multiple star players on the 1-seed suffer freak injuries or illnesses.

The 16th seed is not going to win where everyone says this is the year the 16th seed wins. The 16th seed is going to win because the best player on the one seed breaks their ankle walking onto the court, and then the second best player has diarrhea, and then the third best player tears his ACL... and then maybe they will win by one.

I'll bet a car that Josh Allen throws the ball 90 yards at his Pro Day.

At his pro day, he'll probably throw the ball 90 yards. No joke. I'm not kidding. He'll throw it 90 yards. Just wait. I promise you. I'll bet a car on it. He will throw the ball 90 yards.

Kirk Cousins will eventually be the first $200 million quarterback.

Kirk Cousins is going to get another bite of the apple. He's going to be the first $200 million quarterback. He's going to make $200 million in his career.

Jimmy Graham is over the hill and past his prime.

I think Jimmy Graham's over the hill. I'll sit on that take, and I'll probably be wrong, but I'm happy to say it.

Don't bet every game of the NCAA Tournament if you want to win money.

You survive March Madness by not betting every game... You can't bet every game and beat these guys. The lines are too tough.

Bet on Providence to beat Texas A&M.

Jump all over Providence [against Texas A&M].

The Under is usually the best bet in the first two days of the NCAA Tournament.

Under is usually the first couple of days. I want you to look at. So I'd be careful [of the Over].

Texas will beat Nevada in their tournament matchup.

That's going to be one of their close, tight games of the day. And let's wade in on Texas to pull that one out... Jump on the longhorns.

The 2018 Olympic gold medal is the heaviest medal in Olympic history.

It's the heaviest medal yet... in Olympic history.

Basketball isn't really a sport.

Is it [basketball] a sport? You don't even have to watch until the fourth quarter.

John Skipper's story about leaving ESPN due to cocaine extortion is missing key details.

I don't believe this is the full story. So my PR 101 would be maybe tell the whole story because now people are going to be like, huh, that seems a little odd. You were infrequent and you were careful. And then all of a sudden some random drug dealer was like [going to extort you].

Jon Gruden is a fun coach and person if you have the right mindset.

If you have a problem with John Gruden, that's about your mindset. You have a post-1999 mindset, and you need a flashback. [To me] he is a fun guy.

Kirk Cousins is just a more reliable version of Case Keenum

The Vikings have decided that they wanted to upgrade from Case Keenum to maybe a more reliable Case Keenum. Kirk Cousins is not that much different... lightning in a bottle Case Keenum, I think is the same as Kirk Cousins.

Kirk Cousins is only good enough to take a team exactly where they already were

As somebody who's watched a lot of Kirk Cousins games over the past like five years, he is just good enough to get you exactly where you got last [year].

Sam Bradford is a walking cryptocurrency

I think he's [Sam Bradford] actually just a cryptocurrency. I think he's like his own Bitcoin. I've been buying a lot of Sam Bradford coins, so I'm going to be rich someday.

Teddy Bridgewater going to the Jets is a bad move because he'll look bad in the green uniforms

Teddy Bridgewater reportedly going to the Jets. That sucks for Teddy because that's one of those uniform things where as soon as he puts on the green, you're going to be like, that guy sucks.

The Chicago Bears are officially back because they signed Allen Robinson and have Kevin White returning

I think the Bears might be back. Yeah, I think the Bears are on their way back... They have their number one wide receiver coming back, Kevin White. And now they've got [Allen Robinson].

Signing Danny Amendola represents a culture change for the Dolphins

Danny Amendola down to the Dolphins. Culture change in Miami. That's what they're saying. Getting rid of [Suh] and Jarvis Landry. They're doing a culture change.

Tiger Woods return has a trickle-down effect on the US economy

My cool throne is the United States economy because Tiger Woods is back... Tiger Woods actually does have a trickle-down effect on the United States economy.

Butler is doomed in the tournament because live animals aren't allowed in the stadium

In the first two rounds of this tournament, there will be zero live animals allowed into the buildings. So there are going to be tons of teams that don't have their live bulldog mascots. Butler's fucked.

The first people to go to Mars in Elon Musk's spaceships are probably going to die

Elon Musk is finally being honest with people and saying that the first people who go to Mars in one of his spaceships are probably going to die. So just getting it out there. Finally, Elon Musk is stopping with these Twitter videos saying that we're going to travel around the world in 45 seconds.

Virginia is the best team in college basketball but losing DeAndre Hunter is a massive blow

I think [Virginia] were definitely the best team in college basketball... But this injury does matter a lot. DeAndre Hunter was one of the guys that made me optimistic about this Virginia team versus their teams of the past. He's by far their most talented player.

Davidson is the perfect team to upset Kentucky

Davidson over Kentucky, even though I really like Kentucky... Davidson's red hot... They feel like the perfect upset kind of team that they have upperclassmen and a lot of different guys who can score.

Xavier is the weakest #1 seed and lucky to be there

Xavier's definitely the weakest one seed. I don't love teams that don't play defense in March... Xavier feels like one of those teams to me that their defense is going to come catch up to them. They're going to look really bad.

North Carolina will win the West Region

I think it's North Carolina's to lose. I think Gonzaga could give them a fun game in the Elite Eight, but I think Carolina's the best team.