Takes

Kentucky fans will eventually miss hating Rick Pitino

I think Kentucky fans are going to miss Rick Pitino. Hating Rick Pitino was awesome. He was the perfect villain. And I actually think I'm going to miss him.

Julio Jones will go off in Week 4; pick him up off waivers if he's available

I'm going to start him, Julio Jones. He's going to go off this week. I guarantee it. Start him if you have him on your team. If you don't, pick him up off the waiver wire.

Kirk Cousins respects the media biz to get them on his side against Dan Snyder

All-time biz respecter move by Kirk here. He's basically got flashcards for the reporters... He is doing it, I would expect, to get the media on his side. So he's like, all right, if I get the media on my side, then I'll basically be able to strong arm Dan Snyder.

LA is a bad football city because they don't know who Boltman is

Seriously, this is a perfect example of how L.A. is just, you can't have a football team in L.A. How do you not know Boltman? He's fucking Boltman. Like, it's pretty clear that it's Boltman. And you can't ask Boltman to take off his helmet.

AAU coaches are the real victims in the NCAA scandal because players force them to profit off their likeness

The players are the ones who are victimizing the AAU coaches by putting them in a position to profit off of the players.

Big Baller Brand will corner the market because they're the only shoe company not implicated in the bribery scandal

Big Baller Brand, by being the only shoe company that's not implicated, could have just cornered the market.

John Calipari has actually been an undercover FBI agent his entire career

I think maybe [John] Calipari has just been an FBI agent his entire life. I think he just gets in, finds out all the dirty deeds going on at these various campuses... He is Donnie Brasco, and so he just drags down his opponents.

Coach K cheated in the 2015 National Championship game by pressuring referees at halftime

In the 2015 National Championship game against Wisconsin, Wisconsin was dominating the game, and at halftime, Coach K went and talked to the refs, and they called 13 fouls against Wisconsin in the second half, even though they averaged 12 fouls a game, so he obviously was cheating.

Bruce Arians is on the hot seat because he is losing his mind and making terrible challenges

Bruce Arians is officially actually on the hot seat because I don't think he has all his marbles... That challenge though, everyone was saying how bad it was, but it we correctly identified it as the football guy who gets so frustrated he just challenges a random play he knows he's gonna lose.

NFL ratings are down because players aren't sleeping with Kardashians anymore

Do you think that's why NBA ratings are up and NFL is down because none of the NFL players are sleeping with the Kardashians?

Twitter's 280-character limit will ruin threads and make the app unbearable

Twitter has announced that the app that everyone loves and can't make any money has announced they're going to make everyone read more. So 280 characters... I might not be able to be on Twitter anymore. That's so much reading. They just doubled their product. And they just ruined threads.

I would take a catch challenge against any mortal because my hands are still elite

My hands are still very, very good. I'm willing to get in any type of catch challenge with any mortal.

Warren Moon is the best quarterback I ever played with and it's not even close

Warren Moon. It's not even close. Really? Warren Moon. We played two seasons together. I had 244 catches and 24 touchdowns in only two years.

Randy Moss is the most talented wide receiver that has ever played the game

I knew he was probably the most talented wide receiver that's ever played the game. Because he was that rare. But all the other things in his football brain is what knew that, man, this kid is really, really special.

Randy Moss will be a first-ballot Hall of Famer

I think he is [a first ballot Hall of Famer]. Yeah. He has the numbers. He had the type of impact on football that would warrant him going into the Hall of First Ballot.

The NFL product suffers in September because the CBA limits padded practices

When they changed the collective bargain agreement... the player's like, okay, we want to practice less. All right, we'll grant you that. It's affected the product, all right? Because you can't have the few number of padded practices and train people how to play in the NFL. It's not going to work, so the product will suffer the first month of the season.

The quarterback is the most valuable player on the field, followed by the left tackle or defensive end

The quarterback [is most valuable]... [Second most is] the left tackle or a defensive end... [Third is] either a corner or another defensive end.

Joe Flacco isn't consistently elite, but has 'elite moments' where he raises his team to that level

Is he [Joe Flacco] elite? I think he's right on the edge of it... In the pressure moments, can a guy rise up and elevate his team to the elite level? Joe Flacco not elite anymore but has elite moments and raise his team to an elite level.

Colin Kaepernick doesn't have the personality to effectively verbalize his cause

I just don't think he has the personality. I think that it's very, very rare that you see someone take such a prominent position on something that's really profound and not really necessarily have the personality that would allow them to be able to verbalize it... when you can't communicate with the general public of what your cause is and your reasoning, it's not going to endear people to what you're trying to say.

Colin Kaepernick is a starting-level upgrade for 4 to 5 NFL teams right now

How many teams in the league right now do you think he would be an upgrade for at the starting quarterback position? Well, you can go through them. At least four or five. I mean, you don't have to leave New York. I mean, Josh McCown. I mean, my goodness.

Every professional athlete needs a 'common sense guy' in their crew to keep them out of trouble

Out of your crew, have one guy that's got some common sense... you need a tech guy. You need a driver. One guy to do the troll accounts. Social media.

Michael Beasley knows too much and is officially 'too woke'

Michael Beasley, I'm following him officially in the category of knows too much... We finally figured out 12% is the point where you reach too woke.

Derrick Rose and Dwyane Wade will turn into a pile of dust if they collide in practice

I would say, man, I'm really looking forward to those practices where Derrick Rose and Dwyane Wade just, like, accidentally run into each other and turn into a pile of dust.

Dwyane Wade signing with the Cavs was a case of the Bulls overpaying a player just to sell jerseys

The Dwyane Wade Bulls contract was one of the worst contracts ever... it was one of those contracts that was like, everyone said this is stupid. The Bulls probably knew it was stupid... It's the old Jerry Reinsdorf, got to sell some jerseys, not actually win some games.

The NFL intentionally delivers its most entertaining games when its back is against the wall

Just so happens, the NFL had the most entertaining slate of games in years. Maybe a call? On the weekend where they perhaps needed it more than ever. Maybe [Commissioner] David Stern made the call.

Joe Flacco is officially no longer elite and stinks

I think Flacco stinks. Are we now worried that Joe Flacco's eliteness is so far behind us that we will never remember that he was once elite?

Ben Roethlisberger has the worst body in America

Is Big Ben hurt? Well, yes. So he's always in a constant state. His body is never good... Big Ben, as the crow flies, has probably the worst body in general of anyone in America. Name me anybody with a shittier body.

The 0-3 Giants have the league right where they want them and will win the Super Bowl

Do the Giants have everyone right where they want them? Because this feels like one of those stupid years where everyone's like, Eli's the worst quarterback ever, and then they'll just finish 9-7 and somehow win the Super Bowl.

Bryce Harper will lead the Nationals to a surefire World Series title

He's coming back to lead the Nationals to a surefire World Series. It's the Nats year. This is the year that Natitude is back.

Blake Bortles is officially back

So my who's back of the week is Blake Bortles of the Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club. Huge game. Four touchdowns. He's back.

Iowa and Wisconsin football programs exist solely to have their hearts ripped out in moments of hope

Iowa and Wisconsin are both very similar in college but they just live to get crushed. It's like there's just moments in between getting your heart ripped out. So there's no real, like, excitement otherwise.

Sam Darnold isn't actually good, he just throws 'good looking' interceptions

I also have a theory that I'm working on that Sam Darnold's not actually good, but his interceptions look good. So even when he makes a bad play, you're like, this guy's good.

Jeff Brohm is a true-blue football guy because he runs an up-tempo offense to get his heart rate going

Jeff Brohm is like everything he does. He's just such an underrated – he needs more national attention as a football guy... Very rarely do you have a true blue football guy who also likes to play a little up-tempo offense. He just does it because he gets his heart rate going.

The 2017 Rams are a legitimate threat and sleeper pick

The team that I've been hot on, even before this happened, before the season again, was the Rams. I said before the season, I think there'll be at least a 500 team with Sean McVay in there and Wade Phillips.

The Giants failed by buying 'shiny toys' and ignoring their offensive line

The disappointment has got to be the Giants... It's when you go out and you get yourself nice, shiny toys, but you don't really make sure your carburetor's working... They went out and they got Ingram and Marshall, but they didn't do anything to upgrade their offensive line.

Sean McVay has the same rare 'command of the room' as an early Mike Tomlin

Sean McVay has that as well. He is like, he has a rare ability to command the room, get a player's face, but not have the player look at him like, man, who are you? ... It's a kind of a rare thing, kind of like an early Mike Tomlin.

The Seahawks will have to trade for offensive line help to save their season

I think in this case, though, they need some help on the offensive line. They're going to have to do something. I think that as masterful as Tom Cable has been over the last couple of years, I still think somehow, some way, they've got to pull something off and bolster that offensive line because it doesn't matter what weapons [Wilson] has.

Andrew Luck will return from injury by Week 5 or 6

Right now, I think I said in the start of the season, probably by week six. What is this, three? So, yeah, I would say five or six.

I would definitely win a 3-on-1 fight against Siciliano, Rapoport, and Schefter

Take me down? Or, like, what do you mean? Murder you. Yeah... No. Absolutely not. I don't know what he's smoking... I am being cocky. I would still kill him.

The sign industrial complex is intentionally keeping Americans angry at each other

This all points to the big sign industry. Posters, namely. Posters are having a record year because everyone's protesting everything. It's sticks and posters. It's the sign industrial complex that has a vested interest in keeping all of us angry at each other.

OKC Thunder are the first ever 'World Super Team' due to Olympic medals

I think that Oklahoma City Thunder will be the team with the most Olympic gold medals now. So that's pretty big. I mean, that's tough. Super team. A world super team. First ever world super team.

The OKC Thunder will get swept by the Golden State Warriors in the playoffs

Who gets the shot at the end of game four when they're getting swept by the Golden State Warriors? Russ, triple team.

Thursday Night Football is where real football gets played.

I'm saying suck it because we have long said Thursday night football is where real football gets played. You might get the Bengals and the Texans scoring no touchdowns, but you also might get a Brian Hoyer and Jared Goff shootout.

You are a fake fan if you don't watch Thursday Night Football because of a 'bad' matchup

If you're the kind of fan that doesn't watch Thursday Night Football because you've got work tomorrow morning or it's between two of the worst teams of the past 25 years or some other excuse like that, guess what? You're a fake fan. Fake. Fraud. Shame.

Sean McVay is an elite coach who has turned Jared Goff into a monster

Sean McVay... I'll tell you what, that guy can fucking coach. Because he had play calls that were like, every now and then he'd sprinkle one play in and be like, whoa, that was really nicely designed. And what he's done with Jared Goff... Sean McVay has molded him into a monster.

Kirk Cousins owes Sean McVay and Kyle Shanahan half his salary for making him look adequate

Honestly, Kirk Cousins owes both of those coaches probably half of his salary. That's how you knew both of those coaches were good is that they were able to make Kirk look adequate at times.

The premise of American football is simply to get drunk and beat the shit out of a stranger.

I love the British fans every year and the costumes... because they don't understand that the premise of American football is to just get drunk and beat the shit out of a stranger.

Kyrie Irving requested a trade because he didn't want to be left in Cleveland when LeBron leaves for L.A. next year

My theory is that Kyrie basically said LeBron's going to go to L.A. next year, and I don't want him to basically control my destiny, where it's like, if I have a chance to get to a team that can compete right now, instead of being left in Cleveland when LeBron bolts in a year... I don't want to have that happen to me.

The NBA is better than any other league at staying relevant through drama during the off-season

The best thing about the NBA is they have done a great job of never having it end. So as soon as the NBA season ends, then you have the draft... free agency starts... summer league... then Kyrie demands a trade... it's a soap opera. It is the best.

Mainstream sports media is struggling because players now have their own platforms to control the narrative

That right there is why people and athletes kind of don't have the best relationship with the media. And it's why people start their own podcast or people do things on Uninterrupted or if people want to go on their own Instagram or Facebook Live. And I think that's why mainstream media, especially in sports, is struggling a little bit.