Takes

Successful pitchers need to have a bit of an 'asshole' streak to be effective on the mound

No doubt [pitchers need that streak]... the day [John Lackey] pitched, he's the biggest asshole on the team. You love him for it because he brings... an edge that we didn't have. He brought that F-you to the other team... sometimes putting a chip on your shoulder or having a way to get yourself going when you're older... that's important so you may need to take your mind to a different place.

You only need to pick off or throw out one runner to scare an entire team out of trying to run on you

It takes one, and then everybody thinks they can run on you, and then you throw one guy out, and everybody stops... I just talked to A.J. Hinch, and he's like, you threw out George Springer... we were going to run everywhere, and everybody got scared... throw out one guy or pick one guy off, and it's over with.

Philadelphia Phillies fans are the worst in baseball to play against

[Worst city fan-wise?] Philly. That wasn't even a hesitation. They get on you with a hatred... Literally wanting to like anger in the face. Like they mean it... I really like I want to fight you right now.

Teams should not shift their defense when they have a large lead

If the game's out of hand, do you still let them bunt? You shouldn't shift. You're taking away half the field for me... I'll stop trying to get a hit as soon as you stop trying to defend a whole side of the field... If you're up 9-1 and you're shifting, that's a dick move.

Sit Michael Crabtree in fantasy this week because EJ Manuel cannot be trusted

My sit-em is Michael Crabtree. I don't trust EJ Manuel as far as he could throw me.

I'm finally calling it: Kareem Hunt is my sleeper of the week

He's a rookie, but I'm finally going to pick him up on my waiver wire. I'm talking about Kareem Hunt. He's my sleeper of the week.

Hunter Henry is a sleeper tight end pick for Week 5

My sleeper. Leave me alone. Hunter Henry. Tight end.

Cam Newton can't be sexist because he only alienates his male teammates

All Cam Newton really had to do, if we're being honest, is just be like, hey, if I'm so sexist, how come I only alienate my male teammates? How come I refuse to dive on balls when men are there? I cross to the other side of the street when I see men on a loose ball.

It is better to watch the Yankees lose late in the playoffs than in the Wild Card game

I'm going to disagree on the fact that you're glad they lost tonight because it's going to be so much better to watch them lose two games or three games.

Andy Reid is the second-best coach in the NFL right now

Andy Reid is the second best coach in the NFL right now. Agreed. Agreed. It is crazy. We did this. We actually talked about this off air... Andy Reid behind Bill Belichick is the second best coach.

Wisconsin will lose in the Big Ten Championship game this year

Wisconsin, this is their year. Oh, yeah. They're probably going to lose in the Big Ten championship this year.

2017 should just end already because it has been a terrible year

Gosh, can 2017 just end already? Hot seat 2017. Also Cool Throne 2016 though... It sucks that 2017 now sucks.

The LSU Athletic Director should be on the hot seat instead of Coach O

My hot seat, a lot of people are calling for Coach O to be on the hot seat. Nope. But read an article by Tom Fornelli... The athletic director is the one that should be squarely on the hot seat.

High school is useless and you don't learn anything you use as an adult

I'm kind of in agreement with [LaVar Ball] because who needs high school? Name one thing that you learned in high school that you used today. That's what I thought. No. You don't learn shit in high school.

The Titans signing Brandon Weeden creates an immediate quarterback controversy in Tennessee

The Titans signed Brandon Weeden. So that is a QB controversy in the waiting. I love it. I actually have a little stay woke for you... I think the Titans might have done this... to get a little social media play out of this.

The NFC North is currently the 'Division of Quarterbacks' in the NFL

My other cool throne is names. Speaking of quarterbacks, cool throne... NFC North quarterbacks because that is officially the division of quarterbacks. Mitch Trubisky is going to start for the Bears... Matthew Stafford, Dark Horse MVP, Aaron Rodgers, Super Bowl winner, and Sam Bradford.

The 2017 Nationals are the most balanced team I have been on heading into the playoffs

Man, if there's ever a year, this is a year. I've been in postseason several times now, and this team that we have going into postseason, man, it's one of the best teams I've been upon just in terms of overall balance. You're talking about we have speed guys, we have power, we have pitching, we have elite pitching.

Robot umpires would fundamentally change how catchers play defense

If you had the robot umpire and you now have a guy on first base, catchers have to worry about trying to frame the pitch before they throw out the runner. Now, if you had robot umpires and framing the pitch had no consequence... the catcher would just be in a position purely just to throw out the runner. You're changing the game.

Bryce Harper's 'dick' reputation is just a byproduct of him playing hard with flair

The way he plays the game, he's playing the game hard and he's going out there and competing. And he competes with a little flair. And sometimes that can rub people the wrong way. But when you have those guys on your team... you love those guys in your team because you like the guys that play the game that way.

Panama might beat the US Men's National Team on Friday

It would be funny if Panama, if just... God forbid. Panama wins on Friday. God forbid the U.S. men's team didn't make it into the Yogo Benito Championships next year in Russia.

I hate the new NBA All-Star Game captain draft format

They're now making the all-star game where two captains pick the teams, which I fucking hate. I hate when they do this. My brain can't figure it out. I can't figure this shit out when you switch it all, when you swap it all off. They did it with the Pro Bowl, and Pro Bowl's never been the same.

A woman will lose respect for her boyfriend and likely cheat on him if he skips a 'mancation' for her birthday

I just wouldn't respect a guy if he, like, canceled on his dudes for the weekend. I'm like, I know I own you now. And then I don't respect you and I'm going to cheat on you probably.

Flushing the toilet while someone is showering can cause them to 'shower in poop'

Hank brings up a good point. It messes up the pipes. The poop gets in the pipes... You're going to be showering in your own poop, yeah. I don't want it to be fresh.

Bill Belichick is tanking the Patriots' defense to prevent Matt Patricia from being hired as a head coach elsewhere

Is this Bill Belichick being the master puppeteer and making Matt Patricia undesirable for other teams to hire away this offseason? Because guess what? No one's going to want to interview him after this shit. He'll be there another year.

Jared Goff is an NFL MVP candidate.

Jared Goff is good. Jared Goff, league MVP candidate.

Sean McVay is winning with Jeff Fisher's players and Jeff Fisher didn't get enough credit for developing them

McVay is winning with Jeff Fisher's players. That's the thing. It's a bad situation because obviously Jeff didn't get enough chances to develop his guys. And so somebody else comes in and they take advantage of it.

Coach O is the greatest interim head coach of all time, but not a great permanent head coach

Coach O is the greatest interim head coach of all time. Of all time. You give him some guys that aren't getting the most out of themselves... Coach O will whip them into shape in two seconds. You give Coach O the team from day one... he's a great interim coach. He's not the greatest head coach.

Dabo Swinney is millennial Nick Saban

Dabo Swinney has yet to hit his prime football guy years. Dabo is millennial Nick Saban. That's it. Right there. He's Nick Saban with a smartphone.

Jay Cutler has at least two more years left as a quarterback in the NFL.

I think we have another, like, two years of Jay [Cutler] in the NFL.

Alabama's second string could win the SEC

Alabama debates are back... could Alabama's second team win the SEC? Because they're deep. Real deep... the Hawaiian quarterback [Tua Tagovailoa], the second string, it would be unbelievable.

A 'nice guy' coaching approach does not work in the NFL.

Coach Trestman, it was more like kind of the nice guy approach... which that doesn't work in NFL. I'm a nice guy as well, but I'm on the field trying to put my foot on your throat. It just didn't work that way.

The Bears would have won the Super Bowl if Jay Cutler hadn't been injured in the 2010 NFC Championship

I wish when we were there, when we went to NFC Championship and we lost... Would have won a Super Bowl if Jay [Cutler] didn't hurt his knee. Fact.

Premier pass rushers struggle at Soldier Field because of the poor field quality.

I like Soldier Field, though, because you wear those spikes in there. Everybody's not prepared for it. If you notice, all the premier pass rushers that come to Soldier Field, they never have the greatest games or sometimes they get shut down.

Odell Beckham Jr. is the new J.J. Watt of milking injuries for attention

Odell might be the new J.J. Watt in terms of always being injured and showing how he's in. He has the injuries that he then plays through those injuries. Kind of a Tiger Woods thing... oh, my finger. Wow, let's do a million sideline reports on my finger while I keep playing.

Brandon Marshall would easily win a fight against Odell Beckham Jr.

Brandon Marshall would whip the shit out of Odell Beckham.

OJ Simpson could redeem his public image by murdering Bill Cosby

If OJ wants to, if he really wants to be a success in America again, go kill Bill Cosby. So if OJ just straight up murdered Bill Cosby, I think you'd see a lot of people forgive him. Forgive and forget.

Hobbies are red flags for men; you should only play video games or watch sports

If a man has a hobby, that's just a red flag. Hobbies are red flags always and forever. You either play video games or you watch sports. That's how men do it.

Mike Glennon looked good after he initially sucked in the Bears' loss

The Bears, alternate headline, have found their quarterback of the future. Because Mike Glennon looked really good after he sucked.

John Fox needs to be fired and Mitch Trubisky needs to start

John Fox needs to be fired. Mitch Trubisky needs to start. Danny Trevathan should probably do a lot of thinking about himself. Mike Glennon, just go away, and John Fox get fired again.

Tony Romo misses almost all of his in-game predictions

He gets a lot of predictions wrong. That's the one thing that they've said about Tony that he's really good at is making predictions, but they don't talk about how he misses almost all of them.

Tony Romo talks too much and doesn't let the game breathe

If you think Tony Romo is revolutionizing broadcasting and the greatest thing ever, you're just straight up not listening to him talk over Jim Nantz. ... I want to watch, let the game breathe. Tony Romo's like, he's down my fucking throat the whole game.

Lock of the Week: Ravens +3 at home against the Steelers

I'm going to go with the Baltimore Ravens. Home dogs. Plus three. ... If I know Joe Flacco, and I know him pretty well, this is one of the weeks that he comes out and he has like three touchdowns and 320 yards.

Lock of the Week: Rams +6 and outright win vs. Cowboys

I like the Los Angeles Rams, plus six. I think they're going to win that game outright. [They are playing] the Cowboys.

Lock of the Week: Jaguars -3 vs. Jets

I'm going to go with the Jaguars. Minus three. In New York. ... I think Blake Bortles, there's no way he can regress. I think he finally took the step forward and he'll never take a step back again.

Playmakers is the greatest show ever created

It's [Playmakers] the greatest show that's ever been created. That was also canceled after one season because the NFL was upset.

LeBron James moving to the Lakers is just him copying my move to LA

I love Ohio. A lot of people say that. But when LeBron leaves Ohio for L.A., he's going to be copying me. I'm just getting out ahead of it a little bit. I'm the first person to ever move from the Midwest to Los Angeles for career opportunities.

The FBI investigation caught coaches off guard because they thought they were only breaking NCAA rules

I guarantee none of these coaches realized they were breaking actual laws. They thought they were just dealing in the fantasy land of NCAA fake rules. ... They'd lose a scholarship. I guarantee all these guys that are arrested are like, what the fuck? This is a real law?

Duke is dirty but Mike Krzyzewski is too powerful to be caught

Duke, so here's my fear with Duke. Duke is dirty as hell... Krzyzewski is such a godfather and has this figured out so well. Like, I think it's impossible to get to him. And I'm sort of worried it's impossible they'll ever get to Cal, too.

The Louisville scandal is brazen because it happened one month after they were put on probation

The part that really affects Louisville is basically an Adidas guy met with a Louisville assistant coach... one month after Louisville had agreed to their probation with the NCAA. One month later, they have him on tape in a hotel meeting with Adidas and saying he needs $100,000 to get a player to Louisville.

Shoe companies should be allowed to pay college athletes

I actually think this should be allowed, to be quite frank with you. I think the shoe companies are the ones who should be able to pay.