Takes

The Colts are frauds

If you're not a fraud, this is a game you win. [The Colts] are frauds. That was their game to lose and they choked.

Jahmyr Gibbs is the best running back in the NFL

I think I'm fine with just saying Jahmyr Gibbs is the best running back because when he gets into open field, there's just no—he looks like he's making other NFL players look slow.

Jameis Winston is a starting quarterback in this league

This should prove that Jameis Winston should be a starting quarterback in the NFL. There are so many bad games that we watch and bad quarterback play that we watch. Jameis Winston is not. Yes, sometimes he throws interceptions. Yes, sometimes he makes mistakes. He is so much fun.

I will be very disappointed if the Bears don't make the playoffs at 8-3

I'm now at the point where I will be very disappointed if the Bears don't make the playoffs. 'Cause if you're eight and three and you don't make the playoffs, that's really, really scary.

Jackson Smith-Njigba is the best wide receiver in the NFL this season

I have been saying Jackson Smith-Njigba has been the best wide receiver this season for a month and it is facts. He's incredible... He's on pace to break an NFL record of 2,029 yards.

Miles Garrett should be the NFL MVP if he breaks the all-time sack record

Miles Garrett should be the MVP if he breaks the all-time sacks record, which it looks like he's on pace to break/smash/shatter... If Miles Garrett does all this on the Browns, that's equivalent to Lawrence Taylor doing it on crack.

The Raiders are the worst team in the NFL

I think the Raiders are the worst team in the NFL. Their two wins are against the Titans and the Patriots. They have lost—they won against the Patriots week one. They've had one win since.

The Rams are currently the best team in the NFL

The Rams are the best TEAM IN THE NFL. Does anyone disagree? I don't know who would make the case for any other team right now. They're just destroying people.

Matthew Stafford is the NFL MVP right now

Matthew Stafford's the MVP of the league right now. What is the current odds on DraftKings? ... [He] makes football look easy.

Lane Kiffin will leave Ole Miss to coach LSU

I feel like it's gotten the point where you, if I had to guess I would say LSU. [Lane Kiffin] is probably gonna leave. I'm changing my, I know I said like two weeks ago I didn't think he was gonna leave.

The Pirates leaking interest in Kyle Schwarber is just 'red meat' to appease the fans with no intent to sign him

I feel like the Pirates' version of them actually signing a big free agent would be just leaking it that they're thinking about signing. Correct. That was... their red meat to the fan base. Be like, look, we tried.

Drake May will throw for over 300 yards for the first time this weekend against the Bengals

This is my prop of a lifetime this weekend. It's Drake May to throw 300 yards for the first time plus 264. I put it in before the show started. I feel like this is the week... the Bengals defense, you can't help but throw 300 yards against them.

The Chiefs' 18% success rate in clutch situations is the worst of any NFL team in the last decade

If you make the criteria that if it's within eight points... in the final five minutes of regulation... the Chiefs... success rate is, I believe [Mahomes] is two for 10... That means they have an 18% success rate in those clutch situation plays. 18% would be the absolute lowest of any NFL team over the last eight years... the worst mark of any team in the last decade per the Athletic.

I bet the Cowboys to cover +3 against the Eagles

I'm gonna take the Cowboys plus three... I think the Cowboys are gonna cover the spread. The Eagles can win the game.

The Bears are still a year away from being real contenders

I'm a little more realistic because I look at the schedule and see, you know, that they really have what—they played one team with a winning record and lost to 'em. I'm a little apprehensive... I just don't think this is their year. I think they're a year away.

Ben Johnson's 'psychopath' leadership is exactly what the Bears needed to change their culture

Everything this guy [Ben Johnson] does is so insane that it's authentic... next door neighbors to insanity. But the good kind of neighbor to insanity... in order to get that stench out of the building... you need a psychopath dude. And they've got one.

Sam Darnold will eventually revert to his old, mistake-prone self because 'you are what you are'

Usually this league you are what you are. You're gonna have moments where you're up here... and moments when you're down here... eventually you're in the middle and that's who you are... [Sam Darnold] looked frazzled [last week] and that can't happen. It just can't happen in the big games... there's a Sam Darnold problem at least in my mind.

The Jaguars will make the playoffs because their remaining schedule is extremely easy

Jacksonville [will make the playoffs]. Look at their, look at their schedule. It's a joke... if they beat the Cardinals this week, then they got the Titans and then the Colts at home and they never lose to him and the Jets at home, they should win three or four of those games.

Dan Campbell's fourth-down aggression is 'aggressive stupidity'

Dan Campbell goes for it all the time... I'm okay with aggression. I'm not okay with aggressive stupidity. That's the [difference]... if he had kicked field goals the other night, would he have won the game?

James Franklin is leaving Penn State to become the head coach at Virginia Tech

James Franklin is using the Penn State private jet to move to Blacksburg... I am so pumped that of course. That's the other reason why a jet would go there... I do think that [James Franklin] is gonna be the next coach... somewhere else next year.

The CFP committee is intentionally keeping JMU out in favor of the American conference winner

I think that what is happening right now is they had their heart set on the American on that conference. Whoever wins that conference is going to get just pigeonholed in. Doesn't matter what else happens. ... JMU should be in it, but it seems pretty clear that they just want to put whoever wins the American as the group of five rep.

Georgia is in the best possible position because they can get a playoff bye without playing the SEC championship game

The winner number one is Georgia, because Georgia obviously beats Texas. They get to four. Georgia's in that perfect spot where they could potentially not go to the SEC championship game and have a buy. Which that's gotta be the greatest spot you could ever be in.

It should be illegal for the NFL to put the Raiders in primetime

It should be against the law to put the Raiders on primetime television. ... There should be a blacklist of teams that at this point... the fans should be able to vote on which teams should no longer be considered for primetime.

NFL teams should be required to win at least four games to receive their first-round draft pick

Dumb rule: teams should have to win four games to get their first pick. So at the end of the season, a Raiders Monday Night Football game has actual consequences where it's like they need to desperately win this game to get their allotted first-round pick.

Drake Maye will have 304 passing yards against the Bengals this Sunday

This week against the Bengals, he's finally gonna get 300 yards. I'm picking the Patriots this weekend. ... I'm gonna say 304 this week. It's gonna be a breakout performance.

James Franklin is leaving a $50 million buyout because he has a competitive drive to coach, not just for the money

I feel like you don't get to a point where you are successful enough to get a $50 million buyout unless you have that like killer instinct, competitive drive. ... James Franklin's going after being an awesome coach, coaching, he needs football to live.

Billionaires who don't own a professional sports team are losers

I've said it a million times, I think it's a very strong take. If you are a billionaire and you don't own a professional sports team, you're a loser. ... The only reason you get that much money is to go buy a team.

Jake Paul will get destroyed by Anthony Joshua

Jake Paul found a replacement fight... it's Anthony Joshua this time. Former heavyweight champion. He's gonna get fucked up. ... Anthony Joshua could still just starch him.

The Los Angeles Rams are the most trustworthy team in the NFL right now

If you force me to pick one, I'd probably say the Rams. Matthew Stafford is playing at an MVP level. The defense is young, it's outstanding. ... I clearly trust the Rams more than anybody. I think they've been the most consistent team so far.

This will be AJ Brown's last season with the Philadelphia Eagles

This is my gut feeling. I think this is AJ Brown's last season in Philadelphia. I think regardless of whether they win the championship or not, I think they're gonna move on from him. And Howie Roseman will continue to do what he's done masterfully, which is rebuild this team.

If the Chiefs lose to the Colts this Sunday, they will miss the playoffs

If the Chiefs lose to the Colts this Sunday, they're missing the playoffs. Period. Point blank. It's just math. ... This will be the first step into them basically kind of the dynasty crumbling because if they lose to the Colts, I'm telling you right now, you can book it. They're not making the playoffs.

Pat Fitzgerald is the absolute best fit to be the next head coach at Penn State

Pat Fitzgerald. One blank. Agree. If the Penn State people can get past allegedly what happened at Northwestern... doesn't it make a lot of sense? ... I was ready to go outside and head to the Northeast and just get cold and frozen and play for Pat Fitzgerald.

College football coaches should never play more than 20 rounds of golf per year

You should not golf during the season whatsoever at all. August to January, no golf. Once the season is over... if your coach is playing more than 20 rounds a year, then you got the wrong coach.

Ohio State, Georgia, Indiana, Notre Dame, and Alabama are the only teams that can win the national title

Ohio State. Georgia. Indiana, Notre Dame. Alabama. ... Alabama beat [Georgia], so how can you say they are not a believer? ... You just wanna get in and then it becomes matchups.

The best way to surprise a girl with a proposal is to do a fake one at a sports game first

The surprise is already over because you already are planning it. ... The only way he could truly surprise you is doing it at a sports game... center court at a mid-tier college basketball game. ... He does a fake proposal to you at a sports game and then he's like 'piss you off! Just kidding!'

Taking apart a microwave is fatal because it contains an electric bomb

Do never, do not ever take apart a microwave because you'll die. You'll get electrified. They've got like a bomb inside of them. ... You have a nuclear weapon in your kitchen.

The Commanders are one of the worst teams in the league

I think the Commanders are one of the worst teams in the league. We just lost to the Dolphins... the offense is trash, the defense is also very, very, very bad.

I am not worried about the Panthers catching the Bucs in the NFC South

I'm not worried about the Panthers... Somebody's gotta win the South. It's not exactly the most competitive division. So hopefully we can go ahead and lock that down.

The Bears have officially graduated to being a good team

I do officially think we've graduated to good. We're obviously not great, but we're good for right now. Seven and three. You can't deny that they just find ways to win games.

If the Bears beat the Steelers next week, not making the playoffs would be a total disaster

If we beat the Steelers next week, I will then officially declare if we don't get to the playoffs, it'll be a disaster. Winning next week will then have me be like, alright, now I'm thinking about, hey, we're gonna probably go to the playoffs.

Raheem Morris is on the hot seat after five straight losses

I think that I've been hesitant to say Raheem Morris is on the hot seat. He's on the hot seat now. This is five in a row that the Falcons have lost.

We are officially done with the Bengals for the 2025 season

Can we be done with the Bengals? ... They're not making the playoffs. Joe Burrow, don't rush back. We're done. I think Bengals fans would agree. We're done with the Bengals this year.

The Rams are a Super Bowl championship level team

I think the Rams are Super Bowl championship level team. 'Cause their defense is also elite... the Rams to me are the best team in the NFC right now.

Aaron Rodgers is not very good anymore

I don't think Rodgers is very good anymore. Aaron Rodgers has not been playing elite football. The offense does not look explosive at all.

1992 to 1993 was the greatest run of movies ever

The 1992 to 1993, like the greatest run of movies ever. The Fugitive, Jurassic Park, all those. Best year of movies.

The Broncos are better than the Chiefs right now

Bo Nicks outplayed Patrick Mahomes... The Broncos are better than the Chiefs right now. Like, that's just a fact. And they are a legitimate threat and a really, really fucking good team.

The Chiefs are still going to figure it out and win the Super Bowl

It's the Chiefs. They're gonna win the Super Bowl. Whenever you think they're down, that's when they come back. Patrick Mahomes, Andy Reid, the Chiefs, they are gonna figure it out.

The Eagles are the most easily bullied team in the NFL

The Eagles are the number one can-be-bullied team. It definitely felt like that... they are a tough watch right now, but it works.

Nick Sirianni is allowed to make questionable decisions because he is a winner

Nick Sirianni is the winningest coach in the NFL right now... I think that Nick Sirianni is allowed to make decisions and shouldn't be scrutinized for every single thing that he's done when he just keeps winning football games.

Justin Fields is not a viable starting quarterback in the NFL

Until you have [Justin Fields] on your team, you can't fully, in theory, he's got everything. But then you watch him and you're like, okay, there's something. It's just, it's just not there the way it needs to be for a starter in the NFL.