Takes

There might be as few as one intelligent civilization per galaxy

I think there's a good argument that there might be a very few of those. And actually there's a reasonable argument we might assume there's about one per galaxy on average, any one time, which means that we're it.

Eighty-three percent of the time the winner of Game 5 in a 2-2 series wins the series

If you look at it, that that is a correct, but the more important stat is 83% of the time that a series is tied 2-2, that winner of game five goes on to win the series.

James Harden plays worse in cities with high strip club populations

You know the stat that we were talking about a couple of years ago with James Harden and how he demonstrably plays worse in cities that have high strip club populations.

EA Sports FIFA is dead because of the rebranding to EA Sports FC

EA Sports and FIFA are dead. 2023. It's been rebranded as EA Sports FC.

Unspayed ferrets will die if they do not get pregnant

Unspayed ferrets will die if they don't get pregnant. Die of stress.

Carlos Alcaraz is making the tennis world go crazy by beating the top three seeds

Carlos Alcaraz... 19 year old, beat Rafa, Djokovic and Zverev who apparently is the number two. So he beat one, two and three on his way to the championship. Tennis is back. I mean, sports world is on fire because of this kid.

Canelo picking me up during the fight was a sign of fatigue and nerves

I just thought, oh, he's a little bit nervous. And he wants to show me how he's strong, but it wasn't good for him because I see he's a little bit tired. And he lost his part. He waste his power on this moment.

High taxes in Minnesota and Canada prevent their NHL teams from landing top free agents

My cool throne is Minnesota and Canada. The reason why they can't land good free agents to make their hockey teams good is because of taxes.

Robotic umpires are less accurate than human umpires

The biggest problem with this K-Zone system is it's not exactly accurate. ... They grade the umpires on a machine for home plate every game. ... We didn't have a single umpire—not one umpire—that scored under 95%. ... They already know [the robotic computer] misses 7% of the pitches. We don't have an umpire missing five.

Baker Mayfield's trade value is now only a fourth or fifth round pick

Going—if you had asked this at the start of last year, what would Baker Mayfield be on the open market? Probably like, I don't know, second round pick or something like that feels right now. It's like he's a fourth or fifth round pick. Crazy.

Tesla is the only electric car company

Musk responded: 'Sorry, but I cannot take your philanthropy on climate change seriously when you have a massive short position against Tesla, the company doing the most to solve climate change.' ... They're [Tesla] the only electric car company actually.

My live-betting strategy of taking teams down by 15-20 points in the first half is a winning system

It's a strategy though. It's a system. If a team is down by like 10 to 15, 20 points and it's still the first half, there's a live bet moneyline the other team. It's a simple system... no lead is safe in the NBA, especially in the playoffs.

Bigfoot is currently in the state of Ohio

My last who's back is big foot. There's been pictures of a big foot sighting... I've tracked it down to Ohio. There was some Bama people claiming that they found them in Bama... but I just want to correct it and let you know that Bigfoot is currently in Ohio.

I am officially retiring from professional baseball

Well, I haven't signed the papers, man, but I'm done. It's time for me to step away from the game at some point. The uniform goes to somebody else. And it's just my time really... yeah man, I'm done.

There is a zero percent chance LeBron James watched the WNBA draft

There's no way he watched a WNBA draft. There's a 0.0% chance. If he was watching WNBA draft, he would have tweeted it during the WNBA draft, not 24 hours later being like just a thought I've had on my mind recently.

Dana White is banned from most major casinos for winning millions at blackjack

Dana White is banned from almost every major casino for playing blackjack because he has taken them for millions. He has a system and one of the casinos, they gave him a belt and they're like you are the champ and you are ready to kick somebody out. I don't know what his system is and we're talking walking out with like, 'Hey, I won $1.3 million playing blackjack.'

Boneless wings are slow-twitch muscles and bone-in wings are fast-twitch

Boneless wings are slow Twitch muscles and bone in wings are fast Twitch muscles. In terms of on the chicken... I think it has more higher mineral density.

Tom Brady returned to the Buccaneers on the condition that Bruce Arians was removed as head coach

I think what really happened here is people with brains will agree that there was some sort of deal made between Tom Brady and the Glazer family... he told them that he was going to come back on the condition that Bruce Arians is no longer [there].

LeBron James has it in his contract that he cannot be shown in Lakers loss photos on Twitter

Every single time the Lakers lose a game and they post the final score on Twitter, they never include a picture of LeBron... I absolutely think this is in his contract. He definitely put this in his contract. So you cannot include me in any lost pictures.

I am the greatest 7th round draft pick underdog in NFL history

I'm a seven round draft pick. That's why I call myself the greatest underdog seven round draft pick here I am in going into year eight. And I kind of proved myself to be one of the best offensive tackles in the game.

The Raiders medical staff almost killed me by accidentally putting air into my veins via IV

That shit just got air. I got air in my veins... they almost killed me. You know what I mean? They basically weren't paying attention... I was laid out on the floor. Like basically I was just sitting there, they pull out the syringe or whatever. And then I pass out. I didn't, I couldn't feel my limbs. I'm shaking. I'm sweating. Jesus. Like, you know what I mean? So that shit was scary.

Will Smith is a Scientologist

Will Smith's a crazy person and Jada Pinkett Smith's a crazy person. I'm pretty sure they're Scientologists... if you have to say, I'm not a Scientologist, you're a Scientologist. That's the test right there.

Bert Kreischer has a Division 1 level tennis serve

I have a division one serve in tennis... I aced him [Tom Segura] 42 times... his tennis coach pulled Thomas out before the match. He said, 'heads up your boy's got a division one serve.'

Medium Rare Plus is a real and valid steak temperature

Medium rare plus, is that an actual temperature that you can order a steak cooked? Every time we go to a steak house, I say medium rare plus, they say, okay, great... I always assume that a really nice steak house... they always err on the side of like, if you asked for medium rare, it's going to be closer to rare... so I like it like a little bit more than medium rare.

ADHD is an asset for professional chefs

I think if you actually really did a study, you'd find that a probably a greater percentage than the regular population has ADHD. I think it is when you're... hyper-focused... if you need to be in a situation where there's constant stuff coming at you and you need that stimulus working in the kitchens... I could cook 20 things at a time because it just felt right. I was in my zone.

Ken Griffey Jr. is still the sixth highest paid player on the Reds

The reds are on my cool throne, because they're, if you look at their salary this year, they have a hall of Famer as their six highest played player... Ken Griffey Jr. So yeah, the reds are, anytime you get a guy who's been in the hall of fame and retired for like 15 years as your sixth highest paid player, he's getting paid like $4 million till 2024.

Malik Willis' pro day throw was 10 yards further than Zach Wilson's famous throw

Malik Willis to the same throw that Zach Wilson did, but just 10 yards farther. Just wanted to add that as a little note at the end.

My St. Peter's players are not scared of anyone because they are from New York and New Jersey

The question was asked, how'd you guys handle that, Murray State's a very physical team... I said, come on man, I got guys from New York and New Jersey, like, this is what we do... I got some dudes in my locker room, man. I got dogs... my guys think they belong at Kentucky. So they think they belong at schools like that.

St. Peter's over Kentucky is a historical upset on par with UMBC over Virginia

I think this is right there with like duke Lehigh, because when it's the blue blood, when it's the powerhouse, it's so much more. This is a historical upset.

Troy Vincent was the source for the false Deflategate report

We outed the source for Chris Mortensen's report that 11 to 12 footballs were two pounds underinflated... That was false information that was given to him by Troy Vincent from the NFL office. We report that in Playmakers.

Carson Wentz is the best quarterback in exactly 73-degree weather

The average temperature last September in Washington, DC was 73 degrees. No quarterback has performed better from a yards per attempt standpoint in exactly 73-degree weather than Carson Wentz. Top 50 quarterbacks yards per attempt and exactly 73-degree weather, he is number one, 9.71 yards per attempt.

Ben Simmons is actually right-handed but shoots left-handed

I've told Ben that [he's right-handed]... he disagrees with me, but when I watch him, right. He does it with his right hand. If I asked him to throw, he would do it with his right hand... I think he's a right-hand person that shoots the basketball left-hand.

Alcohol is a diuretic because it flushes liquid out of your body faster than you can hydrate

Al calls a diuretic. And why it dehydrates you is because it flushes all the liquid in your body, out through your piss. So even though it may seem like it's hydrated... It gets all your liquid out faster.

Malik Willis threw the ball 73.72 yards at the NFL Combine

Doing some Pythagoras theorem on Malik Willis' absolute gigantic throw. So he threw it 60 yards down the field. But if you [calculate] the hypotenuse of how actually far you threw in a straight line, it got out to 73.72.

I became bigger than the 'Van Wilder' movie

When I was young, I was like, I want to be bigger than that movie. So like, I wanna, I w I don't want that movie to be who people think I am. And I think I've gotten bigger than the movie. And so now it's like, it's a nice song. It's like a nice subplot in my story.

The Liver King is shorter because he didn't go through the agricultural revolution

He's come for short too... Well, you see, he didn't go through the agricultural revolution. So he was, he's still the size of the early ancestor, tall for his era. You didn't go to the agricultural revolution yet.

Kliff Kingsbury could have had the Oklahoma head coaching job if he wanted it

I get a call from somebody, not in the Kliff Kingsbury camp, connected to the [Sooners]... and they said, are you aware of the fact that Oklahoma is kind of after him? ...I made a couple more calls and found out that if he wanted that job, he could have it. Now. Now it was portrayed as I'm giving Kliff Kingsbury leverage. I could care less.

Tom Brady was in talks to be a limited owner of the Miami Dolphins

He was retiring. I mean, there were other plans he's doing a movie. He was talked about as a limited owner of the Miami Dolphins. His family was at like, the decision had been made. He was retiring and we reported it.

Dan Snyder has zero intent to sell the Washington Commanders

I can't see Dan Snyder ever voluntarily selling. ...I don't think so. I, I think he he's got zero, zero intent to sell.

A lion would beat a jaguar in a fight

I feel like a lion, right? King of the jungle? Yeah. They're way bigger.

NIL deals at Power 5 schools are often just booster kickbacks, not real endorsements

Tell me what have you seen them [Power 5 recruits] endorse? ... How can you get a million dollars worth of endorsements for a kid at these power fives and nobody sees nothing? ... At least if you say you're going to do something, we got to at least see it. The NCAA should hold people accountable if they say they got a deal.

By the end of the year, Cost Plus Drugs will carry 2,000 generic medications

Right now we've got about 110 different generics at costplusdrugs.com. By the end of the year we'll have 2,000. So if you have any type of prescription, check it out, you know, if we have your drug, we will save [you money].

Aaron Rodgers macro-doses mushrooms and LSD in the offseason

If you don't believe my take that Aaron Rodgers is straight up macro doses mushrooms and LSD in the off season, go listen to his most recent interview... he's doing some really freaky shit.

Hank the Tank the bear cannot be relocated and will die if forced into the wilderness

Hank the tank is a 500 pound black bear... He doesn't know how to hunt because he's so dependent on humans. He cannot be relocated to the wilderness or he would die of starvation because he's completely has zero motivation... Plus he's fat as fuck.

The 'Hangover Theory': Regret and life-change desires disappear by Tuesday

When you're hungover... it fucking goes away. It goes away. It doesn't feel like it's going to go away... and you're like, should I take a foreign language? Maybe I finally learn an instrument... And then by Tuesday, you're like, what a fucking weirdo I was for 36 hours.

Coach K blocked Tommy Amaker from the Duke head coaching job to protect Jon Scheyer's career

There's a report coming out a new book that Tommy Amaker was going to be named next head coach of duke... and coach K got on a zoom with them and essentially said, I can't have you taking this job because that would set John shier back in his career. So we want you to take your name out of consideration and out of respect for coach K Tommy Amaker realized that this job search thing was apparently he had been offered the job already until coach K stepped in.

I was fined $10,000 for jokingly saying I checked my phone at halftime

I jokingly said I checked my phone at halftime of the Baltimore game and it NFL took it as a real saying and find me $10,000. Why aren't you allowed [to have a phone]? It's just one of those things where, yeah. I'm not allowed to have my phone on me at all 90 minutes before the game or during halftime.

Cooper Kupp just had one of the greatest wide receiver seasons of all time

I would say off the top of my head, he's up there now with greatest wide receiver seasons of all time is this season. In terms of his regular season and then what he did in the playoffs and what he did on that fourth quarter... you still couldn't stop Cooper Kupp.

My field goal range is up to 75 yards in practice

75 yards. [In college]. I don't know if [Zac Taylor] would let me try 70, but it would have to be the right conditions for sure. I don't know if 70 is the right number, maybe 67 to break the record.

Five years is the official amount of time for a meme to become funny again

It's the perfect time for it to come full circle. Cause we've, we've predicted, we've had this conversation off air many times. Like when do you think Harambe jokes are going to be funny again? I think five years is now officially the amount of time when something can become fun again.