Takes

Tom Savage is a one-week wonder

I think Tom Savage is a one-week wonder.

There is a substantial chance the Raiders move to Las Vegas

I certainly think there's a substantial chance that they do, but the end of that story is not yet written... the team seems very, very committed to leaving Oakland.

Jeff Fisher will become a VP of Football Operations for the Chargers

I think we called it he's going to be vice president of football operations somewhere. ... For maybe when the Chargers move. ... The Chargers fire McCoy.

Kyle Shanahan will get a head coaching job and Mike Shanahan will be his consultant

I think what will happen is his son, Kyle Shanahan, will get a coaching job somewhere, and he'll go with Kyle to be a consultant.

Rex Ryan will get another head coaching job, possibly in Jacksonville or LA

I think that he's going to get another head coaching job. I think he could go to Jacksonville. Oh, can you imagine Rex in L.A.? Rex on the beach with all those bare feet?

Everyone should bet the over on the 2016 Boca Raton Bowl

Also, let's all bet the over for fun. Just together... Yeah, we're going to hammer the over. Hammer it. Big time.

The Washington Capitals will definitely win the Stanley Cup this season

This is definitely the capital season to win the Stanley Cup... No, this is the one. This is the one. This is the one.

Donald Trump has nothing to worry about and will serve two full terms as President

So [Trump] met with Kanye today... And Kanye tweeted after he was originally going to run in 2020. He's not going to run until 2024... So Trump is good. Trump has nothing to worry about. Two terms. Eight years. The only thing holding him back from not being president is now over.

Roger Goodell will change the overtime rules this offseason to eliminate all ties

Roger Goodell's going to change the overtime rules this offseason, so eliminating all ties, and then he's going to say that he saved the NFL yet again.

Carson Palmer's NFL career is dead

[Psychic Laura says 'Palmer'] Carson Palmer's career is dead. That actually makes a lot of sense. I barely even know.

The punter 'hype bubble' will crash within two weeks

I feel like with those three guys [Hecker, McAfee, King], we're entering a punt bubble. It's unsustainable. Punters can't continue to be cool for the next three weeks. There's got to be a crash in there somewhere. So I'm predicting a punter's going to look really uncool... I'm going to go way out on a limb and say that a punter's going to do something dorky in the next couple weeks.

Aaron Rodgers is officially back and the Packers are the team nobody wants to play in January

Aaron Rodgers is officially back. He did his whole thing where everyone talked about how [he] was awful, and then he's rattled off three games that have been great, and the Packers are right back in the thick of things, and they are officially the don't-want-to-play-these-guys-in-January team.

The Detroit Lions are in trouble because Matthew Stafford's finger injury is a season-killer

The Lions are back because something really good happened to them today, and they're in the catbird seat of the NFC North. But then in a win, they also got really bad news as Matthew Stafford dislocated his middle finger on his throwing hand and severed a bunch of ligaments. So they're kind of fucked.

RG3 will bring the Browns to the promised land

I got the Browns, RG3, bringing them to promised land.

RG3 will dislocate his pelvis on Sunday

I'm going to go injured. I think he dislocates the pelvis. It's the big one. It's like the San Andreas quake. A lot of tremors the last few years.

Bill Belichick will draft Christian McCaffrey next year

It's reached a point where I'm going to go to Vegas and put $100 on Belichick drafting Christian McCaffrey next year. And it's going to be the easiest money that I ever made.

Bryce Harper will eventually sign with the New York Yankees

Bryce Harper is going to look great in pinstripes. ... If you look back over the course of history, this is the biggest prediction that everybody will get right.

The Red Sox championship window is currently two to three years

Yeah, it's like two or three years. ... Luckily, their third best pitcher [Rick Porcello] just won the Cy Young.

Ryan Fitzpatrick will spend the next ten years as a premier NFL backup

He's got another 10 years in this league as a backup. ... You get your name out there as a starter for four games. Little film. All of a sudden... You're one of the premier backups in the league.

Conor McGregor would be soundly defeated and unable to land a punch on Floyd Mayweather in a boxing match

I think Conor McGregor, if he had to box Floyd Mayweather in actual boxing rules, he would get beat so soundly, and he would not be able to touch Floyd Mayweather.

Tom Flacco has a bright future and will eventually become an elite quarterback

Joe is big, pocket passer. Tom [Flacco] is a little bit smaller, incredibly competitive, and more of a runner. But he's got an incredible arm. He's become very accurate. And the future is bright with Tom Flacco.

Jeff Fisher's record for most losses in NFL history will never be broken

Jeff Fisher's losingest head coach in NFL history might be the untouchable record. ... Because they fire coaches now instantly. If you lose, you get two years max. ... Once Gus Bradley gets fired, then there's no chance anyone will break Jeff Fisher's record.

The Golden State Warriors will eventually hit a low point once the Kevin Durant honeymoon phase ends

They're going to hit their low point. Just wait. Kevin Durant's lurking. Baby back bitch.

My College Football Playoff final four includes Western Michigan

My Final Four, by the way, I don't know if you guys care about it, but it has Clemson, Ohio State, Washington, Western Michigan. And we're just going to give the title to Alabama.

The popcorn debate will be featured on Mike and Mike within two weeks

I'm going to call my shot. The popcorn debate is going to be featured on Mike and Mike within the next two weeks. Anytime you can introduce a bracket, it's going to do wonders for water cooler talk.

Neither Penn State nor Wisconsin will make the College Football Playoff

No, neither team is going to get in [to the Final Four]. And the committee, let me tell you how this works... they wouldn't have put Michigan at number five if they really were anticipating putting the winner of this game in.

Penn State will win the Big Ten Championship game

I like Penn State. I know you didn't ask me, but I'm going to go on the record and say Penn State, and then nothing else changes in the Final Four.

Tiger Woods will never again look like his old self for four straight days at the highest level

Show me Tiger Woods four days in a row at the highest level. Not going to happen. Not going to happen. Not going to happen.

This week in the NFL will be a 'wonky' week where crazy things happen

I think there's gonna be a wonky week. It's one of those weeks where it's just like crazy things happen I just have a feeling... I just I feel like this is gonna be a wonky week.

Vegas is going to make a huge profit in Week 13 at the expense of home underdogs

This is the week that Vegas really sticks it to people. And I think that it's going to come at the expense of a lot of home dogs.

Rob Gronkowski might retire at 69 touchdowns just for the joke

Rob Gronkowski might retire just for the joke... No, but it's like a destiny thing. It really is a destiny thing. I don't think he wants to retire, but it's written in the stars.

I would un-retire and return to the Packers if they offered $1 million per game

If the Green Bay Packers called you up tomorrow and said, we'll give you a million dollars a game. Come back for the rest of the season. You doing it? Yeah, yeah, I'm doing that. I am un-retiring, yeah. If they're doing that, I'm back.

The Rams will announce an extension for Jeff Fisher immediately following their next win

Right now, after the Rams' next win, they're going to announce the extension. He's getting out in front of the story right now, laying a nice mattress down so that nobody's shocked. Next win of the Rams, they're going to use that as the premise to announce an extension.

The Super Bowl will feature some combination of the Patriots, Cowboys, or Seahawks

And it sucks to say this, but it's going to be the Patriots and the Cowboys or the Seahawks. Slash Seahawks, yeah. So some combination of that, that's where we're going to be in Houston.

Tom Herman will win a conference championship before Ed Orgeron

Who wins a conference championship first? Tom Herman? Coach O? Oh, I think Tom Herman. Because Coach O is – I need to see who he's going to bring in to run his offense... But the road that Tom Herman has to take is going to be so much easier in the Big 12.

Texas will be the favorite to win the Big 12 next season

I think Texas might be the favorite next year to win the Big 12. I know it's crazy to think that, but Oklahoma's going to lose Baker Mayfield. What are they going to do? But I think Tom Herman might be the pick to win the Big 12 next year.

The 2016 Big Ten Championship game is rigged for Wisconsin to win

The Big Ten titles game is going to be rigged in favor of Wisconsin this time. Because last time, the 59-0 Ohio State. That was rigged. Wisconsin. Gary Anderson was fired recently. Left right away. It all makes sense.

The 2016 Detroit Lions are a 'Haley's Comet' team that will likely get their asses kicked on Thanksgiving

Detroit, they're actually leading their division, and they're playing on Thanksgiving. I'm so used to watching shitty Lions teams. This is like Haley's Comet. It happens once every 75 years where you have a good Detroit team playing. You know what that means, though. They're going to get their asses kicked off.

I'm taking the Lions to beat the Vikings on Thanksgiving

I'm going to take the Lions because I took the Vikings on the Pick'em podcast. That's how you keep yourself even there.

I'm taking the Steelers to beat the Colts on Thanksgiving

I got the Vikings, I got the R-words, and I have the Steelers.

The loss to Kansas is the definitive end for Charlie Strong at Texas

I want to do basically what I think is the dagger in Charlie Strong's contract and job there in Texas... Kansas, the dagger in Charlie Strong's heart. Can you believe it? A new coach is now going to be at Texas and at LSU.

I'm jumping on the Cowboys train and betting on them for Thanksgiving, which means they'll probably lose

How long am I going to keep doubting the Dallas Cowboys? They're now nine and one against the spread... I'm going to bet on them Thanksgiving Day. And they're going to get, I don't know if they'll lose, but they're not going to cover the spread.

Robert Griffin III will lead the Browns to their first win and his free agent stock will soar

That would be the most Robert Griffin triumph of all time is if he led the Browns to their one win. And then, guess what? Stock goes way up in the free agent marketplace.

The Raiders will beat the Texans in Mexico City as the 'Don Julio Shot of the Week'

And then the Raiders in Mexico City. Hey, what do you say we make that our shot of the week? Don Julio, Mexico tequila. O-Cart Julio. O-Culio. O-Culio shot of the week. Darkheart shot of the week.

The Redskins will beat the Packers in Week 11

And I'm going to walk right into it, and it's going to snatch me up, and I'm taking the Redskins... So I'm going Redskins.

The Patriots will blow out the 49ers in Week 11

Hank, I agree with you on the Patriots. I think they're going to kill the 49ers.

If Brad Stevens became available, Indiana would fire Tom Crean immediately

I don't think it would matter if Indiana was good or not. If Brad Stevens became available... You just fired Tom Crean. Yeah, Tom Crean is gone.

I want to play in the NFL for at least eight more years

I wanted to play in the league for at least eight years to the minimum. I mean, at least at least it's going to go at least far further.

If Wisconsin wins out, they will lose to Alabama by 50 in the playoffs

This is a classic year where I start to tell myself, oh, maybe the Big Ten is really going to be back. And then one of those teams, probably Wisconsin, if they can win out, goes to Alabama, plays Alabama, and loses by like 50-7 or something like that.

Every NFL team that passed on Dak Prescott will be draft shamed forever

Dak Prescott has been named the starter. He was drafted 135... You could have had Dak Prescott. And people will remind you every single day... Everyone gets draft shamed now that Dak Prescott is officially the starter and a superstar.