Takes

A-Rod will enter the Hall of Fame as a Seattle Mariner.

I don't think he's a true Yankee. I think he goes in the Hall of Fame as a Mariner.

The Vikings will win the NFC North this season.

I have the Vikings winning the division, which means they're all going to die in a bus crash or something like that. Something awful will happen. But I really like the team.

I will hit 8 out of 10 free throws if I practice for two weeks

Two weeks, I can hit eight out of ten. No problem. Yeah, I get my jumper wet. My jumper usually takes like five to six days to get wet. But if I take the time and I go to the gym and I get my shot back, I'll hit eight.

LeBron James is going to leave Cleveland a second time

Well, I also saw on SportsCenter today people were saying they were using the phrase like this was almost as bad as LeBron the first time he left Cleveland... So would that imply there's a second time? Huh. Huh. We're just connecting the dots, people.

USA Rugby Sevens will go 3-0 in their Olympic group

I think we're optimistic and we're going for three and oh... Fiji, we're number one team in the world this year. Um, so they'd have to be favorites, but we've shown we can beat them.

Lacrosse will sell out a 50,000-seat stadium within the next 30 years

By what year is lacrosse going to sell out a 50,000-seat stadium, Hank? 30 years. Within the next 30 years, so he's calling his shot... I'm pretty positive I'm right.

Trent Richardson being cut by the Ravens means he can get into the Hall of Fame by 2021

Great news for Richardson. Now the clock can start on his five-year eligibility until he can get into the Hall of Fame. So he can get it in 2021 instead of 2022.

Instagram Stories will be a massive threat to Snapchat's market dominance

Originally, Snapchat completely had the market, but now Instagram is coming in hot... Instagram, Mark Zuckerberg literally took Snapchat and just added it on Instagram... It's going to be a battle.

The Cleveland Indians won't win the World Series this year

The Indians, they're not going to win the World Series this year.

The Cleveland Indians' name and logo will face massive media scrutiny now that the team is successful and in the spotlight

I have a prediction, though, because the [Indians] are now officially going for it with the Andrew Miller trade. We're going to get a lot of think pieces about the Indians logo. It's going to happen. The Indians are about to get [redskinned].

The 2016 Jacksonville Jaguars are going to 'put on a show'

I think we're going to have to bring back the greatest show on turf because this year [the Jaguars] are about to put on a show, a straight-up show.

In 100 years, everyone will have a voice that sounds exactly like Bruce Arians

If you look at Evolution – you know, 100 years from now, we're all going to be talking like Bruce Arians. It's just going to be a melting pot. And everybody's going to be really good at football.

Bears rookie Daniel Braverman is a deep sleeper fantasy target

Benny Fowler, Daniel Braverman. By the way, he's going to be our new favorite. He's a Bear. And his name is literally he's braver than every other man. [Braverman] and Devontae Adams. All have been catching everything at camp. Catching everything.

The veteran kicker will beat out the young leg in training camp 99 times out of 100

A lot of times you'll have a veteran kicker on a team to bring in a young leg... And the veteran kicker always wins the job, like 99 times out of 100.

Hugh Jackson is a quarterback guru who will get RG3's career back on track

This is how RG3 he's with Hugh Jackson now Jackson's going to get him on the right track he's a guru he's a quarterback guru

Eddie Lacy might show up fat to training camp overnight

There's a good chance that [Eddie Lacy] might become fat overnight and be fat again. This is going to be an ongoing storyline throughout the entire camp.

The New York Giants will finish the 2016 season 10-6

Giants record for the year... Ten and six.

LeBron James will eventually sign with the Lakers

I'm going to be really sad when it's over, when he finally signs with the Lakers and we have to stop doing [the LeBron James free agency update].

The Warriors won't be good for the first half of the 2016 season

With Kevin [Durant] going out there, I have a theory that they're not going to be very good for the first half of the year next year. Only one ball.

The Warriors will still be 'pretty good' to start the season because the team has played together for a long time

My theory is that you [PFT] don't know basketball that well then. ... unlike the Miami Heat that year, all but one of those players, they've been playing together for a long time. So it's not like the whole group is coming together the way they did in Miami. It's just really working one guy into the equation. ... they'll still be pretty good at basketball. They just might not be as good as they are by the time they hit their stride in the playoffs.

The 2016 Cubs have all the key ingredients to win the World Series

I think that everything is in place right now for them to do very well. Without a doubt, they're going to be the team to beat. I think they have the key ingredients is how well and how they can handle that stage... hopefully this is the time.

LeBron James will sign his 2016 contract before another Hillary Clinton email is leaked

LeBron James will sign before another [Hillary Clinton] email gets released. [Obama] is gonna fire a nuke up a horse's butt so that Putin can't leak any more of Clinton's emails.

The Golden State Warriors might have chemistry issues because they have 'too many chiefs'

I don't know if they have enough shots. Everyone's going to want to shoot the ball. I don't know how it's going to work... Too many chiefs, not enough Indians. That's how I think it's going to go, but we'll see.

NHL players likely won't participate in the next Winter Olympics

You know what? I don't think NHL players are going to the next Olympics... I think most hockey players would [go], but it's like, is it worth it?

Mississippi State is going to struggle this year because Dak Prescott is gone

I'm going to say Mississippi State is going to struggle a little bit this year just simply because we don't have Dak Prescott on the field anymore for us.

Tennessee will win the SEC East because they have the fewest question marks

Like in the SEC East, you've got to go with Tennessee just simply because they've got a lot of talent coming back and they don't have as many question marks as, say, like Georgia or Florida or anybody else.

Texas A&M is the sleeper team to contend in the SEC West

But I'm really intrigued, and this is possibly my sleeper team in the SEC West, Texas A&M. Nobody's talking about them. John Chavis is in his second year. I'm going sleeper team to possibly contend Texas A&M.

Dan Mullen won't leave Mississippi State until he has another 10-win season

I think his window of opportunity for leaving went out the window the year that Mississippi State went to number one in 2014, and I think he's going to have to do something or have another 10-win season before he can leave Starkville.

Dak Prescott will be the Cowboys starting quarterback in about a year

I'm going to say about a year. Now, of course, if Romo gets hurt this year, then, of course, I think he may be done. But if he's not, then about a year or two.

I will either get hair plugs or grow a beard to deal with my balding

I think, I mean, it's just one or the other. You got to go either that route [hair plugs] or you go the, I'm just going to own it and grow out a beard and just try and look like a badass.

I guarantee the Takie Awards will be a live show next year

Next year, it's going to be a live show. I'm actually guaranteeing that right now. I want to do it at Guy Fieri's restaurant, like in the back room.

Lacrosse will be the fourth major sport in America in 30 years

Should lacrosse take over soccer as the fourth major sport? I think it's got to be us. I think we've got to take it upon ourselves... 30 years.

The Cubs will win the National League and the Blue Jays will win the American League

I like the Cubs still. I do like the Cubs... AL, I like the Blue Jays. I do like the Blue Jays, yeah... they had a little experience. They got some guys in the bullpen, pretty good starting staff, and a lineup's a joke.

The Cubs will trade for a relief pitcher and it will cost them a significant asset

The Cubs probably need to get a reliever. Maybe the Schwarber for Andrew Miller thing happens... I'm pretty certain they're going to add an arm in the bullpen, and it's going to take a lot to get one of those guys.

Giancarlo Stanton will suffer a massive slump after winning the Home Run Derby

Thoughts and prayers for Giancarlo Stanton's swing. He won the home run derby. So everyone knows here comes the slump. You can't win the home run... sorry, man. You're going to have a really bad second half.

I'm betting heavy on Wil Myers to win the Home Run Derby because he spells his name with one 'L'

I'm going heavy on Wil Myers. He is listed at plus 600. The guy is all about winning. And it's so efficient. You know how much time he saves in his life by spelling his name W-I-L instead of W-I-L-L?

Giancarlo Stanton will win the 2016 Home Run Derby

I have the artist formerly known as Mike Stanton... ooh, plus 365, the favorite.

The Chicago Cubs will win the 2016 World Series

If you were to pick the World Series right now, it sounds like the Cubs. Would you say the Cubs right now or somebody else? Yeah, I would say the Cubs.

The Cleveland Indians won't win the World Series because the city isn't allowed to win two titles in a row

It's definitely not going to be the Indians because Cleveland can't win two things in a row. It can never happen. And if it does happen, they're going to become the new Boston and everybody's going to hate them.

Dwyane Wade is going to win a title in Chicago

Dwyane Wade, he's going to win a title in Chicago. I don't know how it's going to work. They have [Rajon] Rondo, Jimmy Butler, and Dwyane Wade who all play isolation basketball for a coach that wants to move the ball and shoot threes. None of them shoot threes, but... Diddy and Skylar Grey had that video, baby.

Hassan Whiteside will pull a DeAndre Jordan and sign with the Mavericks instead of the Heat

Now that Dwayne Wade is signed with the Chicago Bulls, I bet you Hassan Whiteside might be rethinking the contract he agreed to with the Heat. What if he decides to pull a DeAndre Jordan and change his mind and sign with a team like the Dallas Mavericks who are offering him the max?

UFC 200 will still do over one million pay-per-view buys even without Jon Jones vs. Daniel Cormier

Dana, dude, he's like so immune to this that he doesn't really even get upset anymore. And thankfully, this fight card, even without Cormier and Jones, is as good a main card on pay-per-view as we've ever put together. So I still think you're north of a million pay-per-view buys.

Mark Hunt will knock out Brock Lesnar at UFC 200

Mark Hunt. He's going to knock Brock Lesnar out. It's going to be an all-time internet moment. ... I'm pretty sure he can knock out anyone in the entire world.

Mark Hunt will beat Brock Lesnar at UFC 200

Brock hasn't fought mixed martial arts since 2011. So I see some value on Mark Hunt. Strong lean for me towards Mark Hunt. I think you always fade a guy who hasn't competed in five years. Even an athlete as exceptional as Brock Lesnar, he's going to have to prove to me that he's back in this space and ready to win against a guy who is in the top ten.

I will never compete in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest again

I've survived to tell my tale. I'll never do it again. But it was a great experience to have.

Kevin Durant might not improve the Warriors because there are too many cooks in the kitchen

I'm actually going to go out on a limb and say that Kevin Durant might not really improve the Warriors that much. Yeah, he's a really good player... You got a lot of cooks in the kitchen now. You need some role players.

I hope the Cavaliers beat the Warriors again next year so David West stays stuck losing every year

I hope the Cavs beat the Warriors again next year. Then David West goes to the Cavs. And then the Warriors beat the Cavs. And he's just stuck losing like every single year.

Russell Wilson's sex with Ciara on their wedding night will be fast and furious because of his long celibacy

Russell has not had sex in a long time. He's not going to be, how shall we put, he's not going to be gentle with you. He's not going to last long. Silver lining. Spin zone. It's going to be fast. It's going to be furious. It's not going to be fun. Russell is going to be having sex like somebody who can get shot at any time.

I will enter a zone and eat 75 hot dogs in 10 minutes at the Nathan's contest

Leicester City, 1,500 to 1 odds. Just saying, things happen. Maybe I just get in a zone and I eat 75 hot dogs in 10 minutes.

The Cubs are going to beat the Mets on Friday night

I also will be at the Mets-Cubs game on Friday night... The Cubs are going to win.