Takes

Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl are the best duo since Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen

I say he's Pippen and Jordan, I say the best duo since Pippen and Jordan. Wow. They're gonna, I think they're gonna win win a championship.

The Seattle Kraken are for real and could win the Stanley Cup

No, they're for real. They just, so I, I didn't trust them against the Champs either. But Seattle is just such a disciplined team. They have all these castaway type players. I think Seattle could win it all.

The Devils are a dark horse to win the Stanley Cup if they can outrun the Hurricanes

I would have my dark horse right now being down two one to Carolina... I think New Jersey, I still see something in New Jersey. I might be dead wrong, but that's probably the dark horse and best odds right now.

I am not moving to Chicago with the rest of the show

I will not be moving to Chicago. Kind of been in denial about it. It sucks to say there are various parts of my life that I keep private that impacted this decision. I hope you guys respect the decision. Please just remember that I am the only one who can weigh all the factors that impact my life.

If James Harden scores more than 30 points in a playoff game, you should sit him the next game

I'm a big believer and if James Harden scores more than 30 points in a playoff game, you should sit him the next game. Give him a nice little sit and then it's back to Philly. I'm sure that James Harden will be great in game seven like he always is.

Jayson Tatum is better than Joel Embiid in the playoffs

[Jayson Tatum] is the best player on the court. He's better than Joel Embiid. I'm sorry, like in playoffs, Joel Embiid, he had a very good game, but the fourth quarter he looked like the most gassed person in the world.

Players should not be allowed to take a charge if they are covering their genitals

You should not be allowed to take a charge if you're covering your nuts... How can you play defense if you're covering up your balls? You can't make a play on the ball if your hands are on your own balls.

The Celtics will beat the Sixers in seven games

I do think this is gonna go seven and I think the Celtics are gonna win in seven because the Sixers didn't win game three. The Celtics are gonna have a reinvigorated effort on Tuesday night... Sixers win [Thursday]... back to Boston for game seven. Seltz win game seven.

LeBron James will play three or four more years and will not decline in quality

I think LeBron's gonna play what, maybe like four more years. Three more years maybe? And I don't think he's even gonna get worse. I think he kind of is what he is at this point and old less, slightly less athletic LeBron is still a fucking monster and so he's just gonna play until he decides to walk away and he's still gonna be super healthy at that point.

LeBron James will be a bad father by making Bronny leave college early to play with him on the Lakers

LeBron's about to be a bad father because he's going to deny his son a degree just so that he can draft him to get him to play on the Lakers.

The winner of the Celtics vs. Sixers series will go to the NBA Finals

Obviously now I would say whoever wins the Sixers-Celtics series is going to go to the finals. But the whole time I was like with the Celtics, they're gonna smoke whoever wins [Heat-Knicks] series.

Erik Spoelstra is the best coach in the NBA

Spoelstra is the best coach left in the Eastern Conference. Probably in the NBA. I think in the NBA. It does feel like they have the edge there and a lot of these series do come down like to adjustments in game to game because you start to know your opponent so well.

James Harden will hit up every strip club while in Miami for the playoffs

If [James Harden] is in Miami during the playoffs, that man will be hitting up every strip club.

The 2021 Rams weren't actually that good despite winning the Super Bowl

I still don't think the Rams were that good [when they won the Super Bowl]. They just had Aaron Donald and Matt Stafford played really well for an extended stretch. But like yeah, I those teams exist in your mind. Like I still think the 49ers were better than the Rams.

The Phoenix Suns are better without Chris Paul

I think in a sick way they definitely are better without Chris Paul. 100%. Because if you got Devin Booker and Kevin Durant, those guys, they can both create their own shots... they're not reliant on Chris Paul to run their offense.

If Nikola Jokic gets suspended for shoving Mat Ishbia, it's absolute bullshit

That was a crazy scene because if Nikola Jokic gets suspended, that will be absolutely bullshit because Mat Ishbia... he grabbed the ball, wouldn't give it up, and then he kind of like chested into Jokic and then Jokic gave him a little shove. If Adam Silver suspends Jokic for this game, it's bullshit.

The Suns are better without Chris Paul because he brings bad vibes

Get Chris Paul on your team and then have him get injured. And that way everybody is psyched that they don't have to play with Chris Paul anymore. Better vibes on the team.

The Maple Leafs' round one series win doesn't count if they get swept in the second round

Do we count the Leafs getting into the second round if they don't win a game? I don't think it counts. If they don't win a single game in the second round, I don't think they got to the second round.

Meghan Markle attended King Charles' Coronation in a disguise

They're saying that that was Meghan Markle wearing a prosthetic, pretending to be a dude to sneak into the coronation. I have no idea if it's true or not, but I now I believe it because these people care so very deeply about it.

Ken Jennings is the undisputed GOAT of Jeopardy

The host is Ken Jennings, who is the GOAT. He's the greatest Jeopardy player of all time. Won the most consecutive episodes... When they played a primetime event named GOAT to determine the greatest of all time, Ken Jennings won that against James [Holzhauer].

Barstool Van Talk was going to be a hit TV show

Barstool Van Talk was gonna be a hit TV show. And as I poured over the 18 to 34 demo results of that first episode, that was a hit TV show. So that was the one that got away.

Sports and Jeopardy are the only things left worth watching on broadcast TV

The only show on television out-rates Jeopardy is the NFL. There's the NFL then Jeopardy, then every drama, every new show, every comedy, everything else. And Jeopardy still has those moments... all that's left is sports and Jeopardy really for me and TV. There's nothing else.

The Warriors are nearly unbeatable when Klay Thompson scores 30 or more points

Klay Thompson, when he scores 30 or more points... 64 and 10. Pretty good. When he has, when he's the perfect amount of high for a game, when he takes his edible and times it out perfectly before the game and he goes off, the Warriors win those games.

The Lakers-Warriors series is going to seven games

It feels like this is gonna be a seven game series. I'm very, very excited... I like, I can't decide who's going to win this series because I do still...

Joel Embiid will score at least 35 points in Game 3 against the Celtics

He's gonna look so much better tonight... He's gonna drop at least 35 [points].

The Sixers will never play as poorly as they did in Game 2 again in these playoffs

That game [Game 2] will not happen again... we will not see the Sixers look like that again in this playoffs.

Marcus Smart will never have another shooting performance as good as Game 2

Marcus Smart will never shoot like that again. That's fact.

The Celtics will gentlemen's sweep the Sixers

Must win. Five games, gentlemen's sweep starts tonight.

Sam Darnold is the most talented pure thrower in 49ers history

He said Sam Darnold might be the most talented thrower of football that the 49ers have ever had... I guess he's right. Most talented thrower of football.

The F1 Las Vegas Grand Prix will be the biggest sporting event in the world in 2023

I think it's gonna be the biggest sporting event globally this year. I really do. I think that the interest and the hype around that race, I mean, a Saturday night race down the strip in Vegas, who doesn't wanna be there?

Derma Sotogake will win the Kentucky Derby

There are two Japanese horses in the Derby this year. One of them is my pick to win the Derby... His name is Derma Sotogake.

Add Disarm to your Kentucky Derby trifecta because he is a great finisher

If you're looking for a big long shot to throw into the try other than Hit Show, I would say a horse called Disarm who's gonna be a stretcher runner who's doing really well.

Wet Paint will be very hard to beat in the Kentucky Oaks

It's gonna be hard to beat the favorite, the favorite's name is Wet Paint... She's a horse that's won, I think, three races in a row... I like a Wet Paint South Lawn Exacta.

Flightline was a better horse than American Pharoah

Secretariat was the best... The four best horses that I've seen... were Secretariat, Flightline, Spectacular Bid, and American Pharoah... I would put 'em in that order. And I know some people think it's heresy to say that Flightline was better than American Pharoah... but I just think that Flightline was better.

I will become a scratch golfer by the end of the week

I'm gonna become a scratch golfer by the end of the week.

LeBron James might be better as a Robin than a Batman for the Lakers

I think what we're seeing is LeBron might be better as a Robin than he is as a Batman. They've got a true number one option finally on the Lakers in AD who looks healthier than we had predicted.

My fear of the Lakers making a championship run has reached a new level

My fear of LeBron and the Lakers making a championship run has elevated to another rung. So I do think this is gonna be a great series. I obviously, you know, like game one, especially the Warriors coming off of game seven, I don't know how they're gonna solve for the fact that the Lakers are just taller than them.

NBA playoff teams should only wear their classic home and road jerseys

When you're in the playoffs, you wear your jerseys, you wear your classic jerseys, you wear your home, you wear your road. Like don't fuck it up. ... I don't want your city connect. I don't want your 17th Nike jersey. ... I do sound like an old man right now, but I want your classic jersey playing in the playoffs.

Ryan Whitney was completely wrong for saying the Kraken would only win one playoff game

The Kraken are fucking... put the Kraken every time they're on the screen. It also, Ryan Whitney's full of shit for saying the Kraken were gonna win one game in the playoffs.

Erik Spoelstra is the best coach in the NBA

Spoelstra is the best coach in the league I think. I think he might take over the title. I think he might be—Pop has not been in the playoffs for a few years. I think Spo is the best coach. Like the fact that he had that team almost winning at the garden, missing three guys and having the refs go against you.

Phil Jackson's greatest skill was managing the massive egos of his superstar players

Management of egos is also equally as important. Kerr does that a great job with that. Phil Jackson was managing Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen, Shaq, Kobe, Dennis Rodman. And he was also banging the owner of the team too. I think he's pretty good at managing egos.

JCOs are a fashion look that needs to make a comeback in the 2020s

James Harden wore the Clutch jeans on his entrance to the stadium. He did. He's bringing JCOs back. It's been a long time. We've been squatting on that. Take: JCOs are a look that needs to come back in the 2020s.

Brad Stevens should come down from the front office to call plays for the Celtics

Brad Stevens for all you know, intents and purposes one of the best X's and O's guys ever when he was coaching... He's still in the organization. Why don't they just put him on the bench and just have him call the plays at the end of the game?

Jayson Tatum is clearly the best player on the court in the Celtics-Sixers series

Jayson Tatum... he is an exceptional, he's gonna be first team all-NBA. He's an exceptional except exceptional player. It feels like that last thing is that killer instinct of like, this is my game I'm taking over. I'm the best, he is the best player on that court.

Joel Embiid returning to the lineup will discombobulate the Sixers

I think that Embiid coming back at not a hundred percent will discombobulate them. I think it helps [the Celtics]. ... If Embiid comes back it's gonna discombobulate them enough for the Celtics to win.

The Celtics will blow out the Sixers in Game 2

I do think the Celtics are gonna kill them tonight. I think there's a just a natural like let down, you won one in Boston, you didn't need Embiid. It the Celtics now have to like give their best effort. It feels like a Celtics blowout.

The Denver Nuggets will beat the Phoenix Suns in six games

I still standby prediction Nugs in six. I think that KD and Booker are gonna have a couple of those games where they just go nuclear.

The Nuggets will beat the Suns in five games

Just watching the game... the Nuggets have so many more answers and the Suns just, they, they can't, they have to play perfect. I think it's Nugs in five.

Bill Belichick trading back in the draft just to spite the Jets was a brilliant move

The Patriots traded that draft pick to the Steelers because they knew that the Jets wanted to take Broderick Jones... They even got less than they should have gotten from the Steelers because they wanted to move that pick so badly... specifically so they could fuck the New York Jets. That's brilliant.

Dillon Brooks has talked himself out of the NBA

I really do think [Dillon Brooks] might've played himself. Like he talked himself out of the NBA. Well and also the lack of play... he talked himself out of the [league].