Takes

The Lions vs. Jets game will go over the total of 44.5

My official pick will be the Lions Jets over 44 and a half... It's base a lot on Quinnen Williams potentially not playing... Lion's offense is humming right now. Mike White. Not afraid to push it down the field. I think we're gonna get some points in this game.

The Washington defensive line is better when Chase Young plays with the same motor as the other starters

What you're seeing right now, Jonathan Allen, Daron Payne, Montez Sweat, they're playing really hard... If Chase [Young] comes on and he plays as hard as the guys around him are playing, then the defense will get better. But if he doesn't, if he just sort of stands there and patty cakes with the offensive tackle, then they're not gonna get better.

Max Crosby is the best defensive player in the NFL right now

Max Crosby's the best defensive player in his league. Now I talked to Nick Bosa last week... I go, he plays every single play Nick... nobody plays a game like Max Crosby right now. He plays every snap. Nobody can block him. The run game. Nobody makes more tackles from the defensive end position than Max.

The Detroit Lions are a dangerous team that could outscore anyone in the playoffs

Detroit is dangerous. Yeah. They're just dangerous. They just are. Jared Goff has been to a Super Bowl... Jameson Williams is a come like, he's just a speeding comment. Like if you add him, like their defense got a lot of good young players... I feel like they could outscore teams. Cause their is really good.

Jalen Hurts is the runaway NFL MVP

Jaylen Hertz is the mvp. He's the runaway MVP from me. Like he doesn't, you can't get the guy to make a mistake. And the guy's decision making has been flawless. Now, it might change against the 49ers, the Christmas Eve against the Cowboys. Maybe teams can do that, but man, they're so, they're so solid everywhere.

The Patriots are officially the best bad team in the NFL

I can officially say the Patriots are the best bad team in the NFL. They made that pretty clear over the last few weeks. They're a very good, bad team. Their offense still sucks ass.

Mac Jones is a victim of coaching malpractice by Joe Judge and Matt Patricia

Mac Jones again, I think that Mac Jones like has a full on case for QB malpractice to have Joe Judge and Matt Patricia—those two dumb fucks—being his OC. I would be pissed if I were him.

Bill Belichick is doing the best coaching job of his career in 2022

Is this Bill Belichick's best coaching job? It might be his best coaching job of his career. He is trying to play the NFL on progressively harder and harder levels... can I get this team to the playoffs with a combination of Joe Judge and Matt Patricia as my offensive coordinator?

One of only six 'very good' teams will win the Super Bowl this year

I really do think there are six teams that are very, very good and we talked about it on Sunday, but like those six teams will produce the Super Bowl winner. Yeah. I'm, I'm confident we put our life on it.

The Dolphins are a 'candy ass' team because they used heaters in 55-degree weather

I'm going to guess that's not great for them having to go to Buffalo on Saturday night. You shouldn't smoke during NFL games... I would say that that's the sign of a candy ass team heaters for 55 degree weather. And just so we remind everyone when the dolphins are like decent and they go to a cold weather city at the end of the season, there are no, there is no uniform combo that is more candy ass than what they have.

The 'Football Guy of the Year' award should be renamed the 'Mike Leach Football Guy of the Year' award

I think we should actually rename the Football Guy of the Year award for [Mike Leach] because they, that's, that's hot in the streets right now. The NBA just renamed all their awards. Yeah. So Motion to rename Football Guy of the Year Award to the Mike Leach Football Guy of the Year award.

Big Ben is poorly suited to play for the 49ers compared to every other quarterback

I think that you could name a quarterback in the NFL right now and they're probably better suited for the 49ers than Big Ben. Yes. Doesn't matter who you are. Right. No, that doesn't mean I wouldn't watch it. No. If he played I'd watch every second.

Sam Bankman-Fried was exposed as the biggest dork alive after his arrest

It's the fact that like to the regular world, I count myself in that where I'm not really into crypto. He just got exposed as being the biggest dork alive. Like I saw a picture of him and I heard his voice and I was like, this guy's a fucking dork.

The Detroit Lions are legitimately rolling and aren't the 'Same Old Lions' anymore

I would say right now, yeah man. I mean we're, we are rolling right now. We got that little lightning in a bottle and man, I said it a couple weeks ago after the Thanksgiving loss actually. They're like, man, this isn't the same old team right now. And my, my DMs got lit up about that. People were sick about me saying that. They're like, oh, you're full of shit. You don't know. But I'm like, man, like we're, we're different man. We're rolling.

Jared Goff is playing with elite pocket presence and confidence

From a big guy's perspective looking at it over like the past six weeks, his pocket presence and his confidence in the pocket to just sit in there and trust the protection has been like really, really good. And if we know where he is at, we can block for him. We're a talented enough group and then he's just making those plays man.

I played an entire month of the 2020 season with appendicitis and didn't tell anyone

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, shivering, my stomach hurts so bad... I can't tell anybody about this. I just signed a contract extension, like I have to play... Played in the game on Sunday and then I told the team Wednesday... they're like, oh yeah, you have appendicitis. Like you, you've had it for a week... I basically had appendicitis for the first month of the season and the antibiotics made it go away.

Lexington, Kentucky has a much better food scene than State College, Pennsylvania

I came from Penn State, which quite frankly does not have any good food. And that was a big kind of knock on it. And coming to Kentucky was a change of pace... Malones and Jeff Rubies can't go wrong with either of those Steakhouses. Big fan of Carson's downtown... for breakfast, you gotta go to Josie's.

My hand size is between 10.25 and 10.5 inches

I, I do, I do know I have big hands. I think it's anywhere between 10 and a quarter and 10 and a half... [PFT measures]: 10 and a half. They're huge. Whoa. They're huge.

Jameson Williams is a home run of a draft pick because of how his career started

Jameson Williams is a home run of a draft pick just because of the way that [his] career started [with a 41-yard touchdown].

The Lions are currently the third best team in the NFC

I'm be, I'm joking a little bit when I say that they're the best team in the nfc, they're probably, they're probably number three right now in terms of how they're playing. Yeah. It's probably the Eagles, the 49ers and then the Lions are actually that good.

The Jets are currently playing Super Bowl football and are true contenders

We're like, we're looking at the Super Bowl now. He's right. That is Super Bowl football... that is the Super Bowl contender.

The Zack Wilson experiment in New York is officially over

I think the Zack Wilson experiments is pretty much... Done. Yeah, done. Yeah. No, it's done. I have a Mike White Jersey coming in the mail. I'm now going to be... onto a new guy.

Jalen Hurts is the frontrunner for NFL MVP

Jalen Hurts is probably gonna win the MVP. But he, and it's a credit to him because he basically just says, I'm giving my guys a chance because I know they'll make plays for me.

It might be time for the Steelers to move on from Mike Tomlin, similar to the end of Andy Reid in Philadelphia

The story of this game, besides Mitch being bad, the Steelers defense has reverted to not being that great... it might be time for Mike Tomlin. Like people are saying that it's very similar to the end of Andy Reed in Philadelphia where it's, he's not a bad coach. He's actually a very good coach. It's just been a very long time and it might be time for a change.

The Chargers are the seven seed that no one wants to see in the playoffs

The Chargers win... I'm not gonna believe in the Chargers. But with that said, I think they are the seven seed. No one wants to see 'em.

The Chargers will lose to the Chiefs and get three punts blocked in the playoffs

I'll be very clear. I the Chargers, if they make the playoffs are going to lose the chiefs and get like three punts blocked in that game. It's gonna be a disaster for the Chargers because they will chargers away the game pretty badly.

Trevor Lawrence has officially arrived as a franchise quarterback

Trevor Lawrence, can we say it has officially arrived? ... I am firmly in the Trevor Lawrence is your franchise quarterback. Yeah. Like I'm, I'm set with that. He's no longer a bust. I've seen enough. If you can do the right things, I'm now in the Jaguars can fail Trevor Lawrence. Trevor Lawrence can't fail the Jaguars territory.

There is a 20% chance the Jaguars make the playoffs

The nerd that's on NBC put it at a 14% chance the Jaguars can make the playoffs. ... I told our good friend Uncle Chaps, I'm saying 20% chance. ... If the Jaguars can beat either the Cowboys or the Jets in the next two weeks, I think they can make the playoffs.

David Njoku could be Antonio Gates if he had a good quarterback

David Njoku, he, to me, he feels like he could be Antonio Gates if he had a good quarterback. Like, I always forget how good he is until he gets the ball in his hand.

Tony Pollard should get all the touches in the second quarter to protect the Cowboys from Dak Prescott's interceptions

If we can figure out a way for [Dak Prescott] to just hand the ball off to Tony Pollard in the second quarter and not attempt any passes, I think [the Cowboys] might be in business. He might be the worst second quarter quarterback in the NFL.

I would commit wire fraud or several felonies to have Patrick Mahomes as my quarterback

I would commit several felonies to have Patrick Mahomes as my quarterback. Yeah, I was thinking about that. Like, if you could reverse time and go back and, and make a deal with the devil... I think I would, I would steal a car. I would commit wire fraud. I would act, I would actually steal candy from a baby. I I to get Patrick Mahomes as my, like, to be a Chiefs fan.

I would give up six toes for Patrick Mahomes

I do a weekly hit with, with Waddle and Sylvia in Chicago and they asked me, I think it was like maybe a year or two ago. How many toes? Six. Yeah. Three and three. Yeah. Three on one foot foot, three on the others. Easily six toes. I'd give up for Patrick Mahomes.

The Panthers might actually make the playoffs this season

I think the Panthers might make the playoffs... The Panthers might make the playoffs because next week the Bucs play the Bengals... If they [beat the Bucs week 17], the Panthers might make the playoffs.

Steve Wilks has earned the Panthers head coaching job

Steve Wilks, I think has earned the head coaching job. I think what he's done... he, this should be his job. If he doesn't get the job, get him on a plane to Lincoln and immediately fire Matt Rhule and bring Steve Wilks in there.

The Seahawks will miss the playoffs because they lost the 'dead dog game'

The team's got no heart. Fuck. I I'm out on the Seahawks after this. Yeah. Well there, you know what, this is the curse of turf. They, I'm telling you like, they're not gonna make the playoffs because they lost the dead dog game.

Brock Purdy is a better quarterback than Tom Brady right now

Brock, I be honest with you, if you, if you were to take one quarterback right now for the rest of the season, if you were putting together like a stretch run. Yeah. Would you rather have Brock Purdy or Tom Brady right now? ... he is way better than Tom Brady right now. Well, he, Tom Brady stinks right now.

There is a market correction coming for Brock Purdy, but fans shouldn't bail on him when it happens

I do think there will be a market correction of Brock Purdy coming up... I want everyone to just be okay with when the market does correct on him. He has a bad game. We don't, we don't bail on Brock Purdy.

The Super Bowl winner will definitively come from this group of six teams: Chiefs, Bills, Bengals, 49ers, Eagles, or Cowboys

Would you put your life on the line on one of the, or two of these six teams making the Super Bowl, Kansas City Chiefs, the Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals, San Francisco 49ers, Philadelphia Eagles, Dallas Cowboys. It feels like we're at the point in the season... that those six teams we're gonna get our Super Bowl out of those six teams.

Tom Brady has more Super Bowls than all other current playoff quarterbacks combined

Fact of fiction. He's got more Super Bowls than all the other quarterbacks named mine. ... I think making the playoffs is a pretty good indicator of being good.

Baker Mayfield wears a padded headband so he can headbutt teammates without getting hurt

Baker Mayfield wears his little headband. Yeah. I think there's padding in it. So he keeps doing the headbutt thing and everyone's like, holy shit, what a psycho. He's like, no, I'm good. I noticed that after the game, and he was being very aggressive with his headbutts, but he was making sure to line it up right on the headband.

The 2022 season is actually Sean McVay's best coaching job ever

Actually the 2022 season was [Sean McVay's] best job as a head coach... they literally have lost their entire team and the season is lost and it's the worst Super Bowl defense ever statistically. But the fact that even the last three games, how the Rams have fought... they're fighting. I might give him my vote for Coach of the Year.

Sean McVay should be the frontrunner for NFL Coach of the Year in 2022

they literally have lost their entire team and the season is lost and it's the worst, you know, super Bowl defense ever statistically. But the fact that like even the last three games, how the Rams have fought... I might give him my coach for my, my vote for Coach of the Year.

Derek Carr's confidence is like a balloon that pops as soon as anything goes wrong

Right when [Derek Carr] starts to really get his mojo going, if he does something to interfere with that confidence, then it's like a balloon that gets popped for the rest of the game and then he's just, you can't use him. He always looks super sympathetic... and people just look at him and it looks, he looks like a guy that's honestly locked himself in his room for 12 hours, listened to the Cure to get ready for the game.

The Minnesota Vikings are absolute frauds

I'll tell you why. Billy, let me take you to school real quick. You wanna hear some cold hard facts? Out of every single team to ever be 10 and 2 since the 1970 merger... the Vikings are by far and dead last for point differential. Their point differential is three times smaller than the second worst team. The Vikings, they're frauds.

The Detroit Lions are actually a good football team and America needs to realize it

The lions are good, the lions are, America needs to come to the realization that the, the Detroit lions are good at playing football.

Removing ping pong tables from the locker room makes the Bengals a lock to beat the Browns

This is a ping pong table game for Cincinnati. No distractions. I'm a big believer in ping pong tables. If you, it doesn't matter if you put the ping pong tables into the locker room or if you take them out of the locker room, if you're moving a ping pong table around that week, I will bet on your team.

The Buccaneers will cover against the 49ers because Tom Brady is an underdog to Brock Purdy

I'm taking the Buccaneers plus three and a half against the 49ers. Obviously we broke down this game earlier, but if you look at it from a basic perspective, Tom Brady's an underdog against Brock Purdy. That's the only reason I'm doing it. Purdy verse Tom Brady and he's a favorite by more than a field goal. So stupid.

The Chargers are the worst tackling team in the NFL

I think the Chargers might be the worst tackling team in the NFL. They just don't tackle. I feel like every Chargers game you'll just watch guys just running around like broken plays. Guys not being able to get tackled.

The Dallas Cowboys might actually win the Super Bowl this year

By the way, are the Cowboys gonna win the Super Bowl? I think that the Dallas Cowboys might win the Super Bowl. I think Jerry Jones is ready to die. I honestly think that he's like making no chance. He wants to live forever. He is ready to die and I'm telling you, I think he might will this team to win a Super Bowl so that he can finally just pass away.

Lionel Messi will choke in the 2022 World Cup knockout rounds

My sit is Lionel Messi. This is the time of the year... he's due for a choke in the fucking World Cup. He's not my goat. He's gonna put up a big fat goose egg in there going down.