Takes

Army-Navy is the true game that should decide the College Football Playoff rankings

I still think, I still think they should wait to announce the top 14 still after this game. Yeah, because you never know. You never know.

Jonathan Loaisiga is the toughest pitcher to face in MLB right now

Toughest guy I think to face is probably Loaisiga from the Yankees. That is elite stuff. I mean, he's, he's really, really good.

Stetson Bennett is a legitimate NFL-caliber quarterback who doesn't get enough respect

Stetson [Bennett] doesn't get like the talk, I don't think that he probably deserves right? That like, oh, you know, he just plays on a good team. Like if he like watches games, like that dude could play and he can ball.

The New York Yankees were given juiced baseballs for Aaron Judge's home run chase

A report came out saying that the Yankees were beneficiaries of having juice balls all last year. The Yankees were getting juice balls. Asterisks on his home run record, on his AL home run record. I mean, Jake, how can you discount that? They were purposely giving the best balls in baseball to the New York Yankees last year.

Tom Brady will never die

Tom Brady will never die. ... Even when he got the ball back again down seven or down six, you knew he was gonna win the game.

Tom Brady's arm is still there, but he clearly doesn't trust his offensive line anymore

His arm is still there. It's just that he doesn't trust his offensive line and it's so apparent... Because he doesn't want to get hit, why would you if you're 45 years old? He will bail out of plays early or he won't stand in it as long... He is dumping down constantly because he's like, I don't trust these guys.

The Saints are afraid to play Jameis Winston because they know they mishandled his earlier injury

I have a conspiracy theory... I think the Saints know that they fucked up his injury when it happened when they put [Jameis Winston] back in. And I think that they're trying to make sure that they're doing the right thing for his health on the back end of it... That's why I think that we're not getting James. They're afraid to play him right now.

The Raiders still have a non-zero chance to make the playoffs

The Las Vegas Raiders are five and seven. I didn't realize that they've won three in a row. ... There's not a 0% chance they're not gonna make the playoffs anymore.

Nick Saban's media tour begging for a playoff spot was pathetic

Nick Saban getting in front of the media and doing his tour where he was like, you know, our team like ask everyone who they'd want to at least play it's us. ... It was pathetic. It was gross to watch to beg.

The College Football Playoff committee will never take a two-loss team over a one-loss team

The precedent has been set. They'll never take a two-loss team over a one-loss team. And TCU being in is gonna be fun.

The Heisman committee punished Hendon Hooker for tearing his ACL

I think they are punishing him [Hendon Hooker] for tearing his ACL. ... Obviously the loss against South Carolina, that's, it wasn't good. But you can't, you can't blame Hendon for having his defense get what? 60 points hung on him.

There should be at least one non-quarterback Heisman nominee every year

There should be one non-quarterback nominee every year. I agree... besides Caleb Williams, who's gonna win it? It's the quarterbacks of the Final Four. Yeah, exactly. Like what, how stupid is that?

Anthony Richardson will be asked to work out as a tight end during the draft process

I predict that somebody's gonna ask [Anthony Richardson] to work out as a tight end and he's gonna be like, no, I'm a quarterback. And then everyone's gonna be like, wait, are you really a quarterback though? Are you sure?

Matthew Stafford might be done for his career due to his spinal cord injury

I also think that, I think Stafford might be done. He might be done done for his career. ... whatever injury he's suffered the way that they've been handling it has been really like hush hush and not giving any details.

I'm not done believing in Sam Darnold yet

I'll do one worse. I'm not done believing in Sam Darnold yet. I mean, it's stupid. I know. That's way worse.

I'm buying Baker Mayfield with the Rams

I actually, I like this for Baker. This, this went about as good as he could have hoped for. ... I'm buying Baker Mayfield.

Cristiano Ronaldo is the GOAT

Ronaldo, my goat got benched. People don't like Ronaldo. I don't understand. ... Ronaldo's the goat, Messi's great but Ronaldo greater.

The Office would be canceled by today's standards

Mindy Kaling I guess was interviewed and she was like, yeah, the office would've been like, if they had the office today, it would've been canceled. ... if the office today was made today and it was canceled, like then comedy just truly is dead.

The 49ers are in a good spot with 'Big Cock' Brock Purdy taking over

The best thing that could happen to a team is their backup coming in and having a huge cock and getting a nickname and then going to win a Super Bowl... I feel like the Niners are now in a good spot... I think the Niners are probably gonna win the Super Bowl just on that.

Chat GPT is going to replace everything

There's this new program called Chat GPT. ... this thing can basically write blogs. ... this thing's gonna replace everything. ... I'm definitely gonna be using this because, yeah, it's just insane.

I am bored with Spain's style of soccer; they pass a thousand times and never shoot

I'm rooting for Spain to go home cause I'm just bored with them. I'm bored with their weird style of play where they just pass. I think they had a thousand completed passes today and I don't think they had a shot on target.

Georgia is going to crush Ohio State and Michigan/TCU

I've called the entire season and they're [Georgia] going to crush Ohio State and then they're gonna crush Michigan too. Or TCU all.

Connor Bedard is the next Connor McDavid

Connor Bedard is being touted as basically another McDavid. ... he's messy of hockey is the way he's being touted as right now. And I think with the way that the games changes game is changing where it all speed skill, I think that he can come in and be that guy.

Arber Xhekaj is a fan favorite 'unicorn' who will stick in Montreal

Arber Xhekaj and then the boys call him 'Wifi' because his last name looks like a wifi password... this kid was working at Costco last year... young defenseman, tough as shit... he's a fan favorite in Montreal who's exceeded expectations.

Patrick Kane is the greatest American born hockey player

I mean I think he's [Patrick Kane] the best American born player. Me too. Yes. No hands down.

Jacob Chychrun will be the biggest name defenseman moved at the deadline

For trade for defenseman right now the biggest name is Jacob Chychrun and he plays for the coyotes. ... I would say that he's gonna be a big name defenseman that moves at the close to the deadline.

Winning close games makes the Vikings more dangerous for the playoffs

I think it's actually good that the Vikings are winning all these like super close games and not blowing anybody out. I actually think like learning how to win in weird ways... All that high pressure practice that they're getting in during the regular season is gonna be very good for them in the playoffs.

The Jets will trade Zach Wilson

I think they're gonna end up trading [Zach Wilson] because the way the teams united behind Mike White, I mean Garrett Wilson I think tweeted or said in post game, I'll go to work, I'll get to work something special about that boy talking about Mike White.

Brian Daboll played too conservatively by punting in overtime

He really pus it out in overtime with the punt that he calls... It was fourth and three on the Washington 45 yard line minute 42 seconds remaining in overtime a tie game 20 to 20 and he decided to punt the ball away.

Jalen Hurts is the NFL MVP

The only other thing I really need or would like to add is that Jalen Hurts is the mvp. He was unbelievable today... Mahomes couldn't get a win [against the Bengals], Jalen Hurts the MVP right now.

Jalen Hurts is a top 10 NFL quarterback even without his running ability

If you took away his legs entirely, as far as like being able to run for yards... I actually think that [Hurts] would still be like a top 10 quarterback in the NFL also.

I'm officially a believer in Dan Campbell and the Lions

I'm a believer, I'm officially ready to say it, I'm a believer in what Dan Campbell is doing to Detroit... being able to turn around a franchise like that is way harder than I think a lot of people think that it is.

The Lions will win four out of their last five games

If they beat the Vikings, I think they'll win four outta the last five. They could, they very easily could.

The Chargers are failing Justin Herbert the same way they failed Philip Rivers

It's the Chargers. The Chargers are gonna fail two really, really good quarterbacks back to back. [Herbert]'s got all the talent in the world... and then he just ends up in these games where it's like the Chargers should win this game... Oh, Chargers are gonna lose this game.

The Chargers won't make the playoffs and Brandon Staley will be fired

I'm gonna sprinkle a little little take out there. You ready for this? Chargers don't make the playoffs this year. Brandon Staley gets fired. Sean Peyton coaches the Chargers.

The Kyle Shanahan system makes the 49ers quarterback successful regardless of who starts

I honestly, I don't really think it matters that much who's playing quarterback for the 49ers. I think, oh, we've seen it... it's kind of like the reverse of the running back situation... it doesn't matter really who the quarterback is. They will be able to scheme a guy who's at least competent into being like a above average game manager.

Joe Burrow officially owns Patrick Mahomes

Joe Burrow owns Patrick Mahomes. Yeah, I mean we have a narrative, it's officially a narrative right now, which is kind of cool... Joe Burrow has Patrick Mahomes number.

The Bengals can win the Super Bowl this year

The Bengals can absolutely win the Super Bowl this year. I think that it's crazy. I think that their past defense is very underrated.

Coach Prime will win a national championship at Colorado

Coach Prime going to Colorado... How much does that really [matter if he has experience]? He's Gonna win a national championship is what you're saying? Yes.

I am driving from Massachusetts to Arizona for the Arizona Bowl

I swear to God [I'm driving]... from Massachusetts... possibly [driving with a friend moving out there]... let's do it. Let's drive to Arizona.

The Patriots are dead and face a multi-year decline

Patriots are dead. Yeah, it's, it's like madlibs. Like are they, are they dead this, this year or is this like a, this feels like it's a multi-year thing going on.

Bill O'Brien will be a great fit for the Patriots as offensive coordinator next season

They're probably gonna get Bill O'Brien cuz he wants to come back to the NFL. He wants to leave Alabama. So I actually think that'd be, that'd be a great fit. Bring him back to New England.

Josh Allen is by far the best quarterback in the NFL

Tonight it was like watching, you know, the Patriots struggle and then Josh Allen's the best about Oh, your by far. He's like watching him is watching like the old Patriots where he makes every throw, he makes every play right. They look unstoppable.

Kyler Murray's biggest problem is that he is fundamentally a baseball player

Not to be Colin Coward here, but I feel like Kyle and Murray's biggest problem is he's a baseball player. Baseball players, they care about themselves. They have individual accolades. Football is a team sport. Kyle Murray's a baseball player.

Mike White's ceiling is Tom Brady

So I like Mike. His ceiling is Tom Brady. I said this when he got his ceiling is Tom Brady.

I would rather have Tom Brady's career than Patrick Mahomes' career

I'd rather personally have Tom Brady's career than Patrick Mahomes' career.

The Lions will destroy the Jaguars in Week 13

Give the lions minus three. Whoa. I The lions minus three. I'm putting 'em on the table right now. It's not gonna happen. Love that outta the lines are gonna destroy him.

The Chiefs will have a 'double revenge' game and beat the Bengals

The Kansas City Chiefs double revenge minus two double revenge spot. Double revenge means something. The chiefs are going for double revenge. Last year they lost in the regular season and AFC championship game. I think this is the best the chiefs are going to look all season. Is this weekend on Sunday?

The Chiefs are entering 'candy ass' territory and could struggle in the playoffs

The only thing I don't like about the Chiefs this year is they don't even pretend to have a run game... the Chiefs might be falling into candy ass territory as we get into the playoffs.

Mike McDaniel is not a coach who can turn a locker room around if things go bad

Leading into this season, we all had to take that if things go bad for the dolphins, [Mike McDaniel] is not the guy that's gonna be able to like turn things around if the locker room starts to turn... I need like a three game losing streak outta the dolphins so I can be like, this guy is soft. This guy's not a football coach.