Takes

Jupiter GC Lynx will never win a TGL championship

I actually say right now, Jupiter's never gonna win one. Unlike Saturn, no rings. It is crazy that we got Tiger Woods and we can't win.

The NBA will expand to Seattle and Las Vegas by the 2028-2029 season

NBA expansion teams. Yes. Seattle and Vegas. I think it's 28, 20 29... Little bit, little bit of a shuffle [moving Minnesota and Memphis to the East].

Tiger Woods will play in the Masters this year

Tiger Woods and the Masters. 'cause he has said that he has not ruled out playing in the masters this year. ... The way that he said it makes me think it's on, he's right. It's on. He's loading.

I might get evicted because my alarm clock went off for two days while I was on vacation

I accidentally kind of alarm clock too close to the sun recently... I had left my alarm clock plugged in... My alarm clock is going off like today and yesterday. We're gonna have to take like a meeting here... There's a world where like, I'm the worst neighbor of all time and I just left my irrationally loud alarm clock going.

The Bears, Saints, or Chiefs will win the Super Bowl next year

The Chiefs, the Bears and the Saints because since 2020 the only Super Bowl winners have been the Chiefs or NFC teams getting their second Super Bowl in franchise history. So that leaves us the Chiefs, the Bears or the Saints for next year. So I like that. I like my chances there.

Landon Dickerson and Lane Johnson will definitely be back for the Eagles next season

They'll be back. They'll be back... a couple months away from the game and you know, your body starts to heal up a little bit. You start to get that itch, they'll be back.

Sydney Sweeney will become a billionaire through her new bra business venture

Sydney Sweeney's getting into the bra game and it's over. It's a wrap. Probably the most No doubt... Sydney Sweeney bras, this is going to, she's gonna do well. Congrats to Sydney Sweeney becoming a billionaire.

LIV Golf will be defunct within five years

Do you think that that Liv will be around in five years? [Hank]: No.

The US government will confirm the existence of aliens this week

Aliens might drop this week. Like, like there's aliens might drop this week... [The White House] might confirm the existence of aliens as early as this week. And just be ready for the outcome of that.

The LIV Dam is about to break with Brooks Koepka's return to the PGA

Brooks is back. ... If one of [Bryson DeChambeau, Jon Rahm, or Cam Smith] flips, that's a second massive domino that it will be tough to come back from. ... The damn could break.

John Rahm will flip back to the PGA Tour

I think John Rahm's gonna come back. I don't know about Cam Smith, but Rahm feels like the next guy that's going to flip [from LIV to PGA].

LeBron James will announce his retirement at the All-Star Game

He's gonna announce he's retiring at the All-Star game. They're gonna rig it so that he can win the all-star MVP. It's in LA. And then he's gonna say, I'm retiring.

Trey Young will be traded from the Atlanta Hawks in a mutual parting of ways

My Hot Seat is Trey Young. Because it looks like he is asking, demanding to be traded from the Atlanta Hawks and the Hawks are also trying to trade him. So I guess this is like a mutual parting of ways.

JMU isn't like Liberty; they will be competitive in the playoff

We're not fucking Liberty, dude. We have sex at James Madison University. It's encouraged, it's mandatory. ... If one of those teams keeps it competitive, they might not change the format too much.

The Rams money line is the play because of Sean McVay's new baby

Sean McVay, they, the Rams money line's gotta be the play. ... Absolutely. New baby. Good vibes.

The Colts' signing of Philip Rivers is a mistake that won't last the season

I am a little bit concerned about his safety because Philip Rivers is a grandfather and he's playing against that Seahawks defensive line. This doesn't seem like a fix that is necessarily set up to last for the rest of the season. They might just be going on a week to week basis.

JMU making the CFP will force a rule change to ensure it never happens again

JMU getting into this playoff, they will rewrite the rules for the playoffs. So this never happens again. And you'll be fine... But they're very upset that the ACC did not advocate strongly for Notre Dame.

Ed Orgeron will return to LSU as part of Lane Kiffin's new coaching staff

I think there's a high chance that he [Kiffin] puts Coach O on his staff... Why wouldn't you want Coach O on the LSU staff? You want him back.

LSU is Lane Kiffin's forever home and he will never leave the program

I don't think Lane Kiffin would ever leave. This is the one destination for him.

Mike Tomlin and the Steelers are likely to break up after this season

My Hot Seat is Mike Tomlin and the Steelers. Because I actually think that he might, this might be it... they don't change anything. And it's, I mean, TJ Watt said it. I think the bills ran the same play 27 times on Sunday. Yeah. That's insane. It feels like this is finally [the end].

Jake Paul will get destroyed by Anthony Joshua in their upcoming replacement fight

Jake Paul found a replacement fight for the [Gervonta] Tank Davis fight that got canceled, but it's Anthony Joshua this time. Former heavyweight champion. He's gonna get fucked up. ... Anthony Joshua could just starch him.

Now is the time to buy stock in the 49ers looking at their upcoming schedule.

If you were trying to buy stock in something, there might be a spot where you could buy some stock in the Niners. 'cause they might, there's a chance the Niners could rip off some wins here in the next few games.

I am betting everything on Notre Dame because of Pat Narduzzi's weird press conference comments.

Pat Narduzzi, the coach of Pitt... had one of the weirdest answers to a press conference question I think I've ever seen... I wanna just bet everything on Notre Dame. They are not going to cover the spread against Notre Dame.

Wisconsin Football will be bad for at least the next five to seven years

I'm starting to think now they're gonna be bad for five to seven years minimum. And if they just keep going down this path, it's gonna be a decade. To the sunk cost fallacy of essentially saying, we made a mistake... let's throw more money at it.

The World Cup draw will be rigged for the United States

If anyone could pull it off, Trump doesn't care about soccer. Oh he does. He he's, he took the ball from FIFA. He's been bragging to everybody about how he got the World Cup. Make that happen buddy. Iceland is the smallest country to qualify for the World cup.

LeBron James will not retire until the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles

I was talking to [Mark] Titus about it... he was saying that he doesn't think LeBron's gonna retire till 2028 when the Olympics are in LA. That's so much more LeBron. ... He will, that will be the last basketball. He plays the Olympics in 2028.

The Commanders' ceiling this season is a second-round playoff loss

I think at the best this team is going to be good enough to lose in the second round of the playoffs. That's the ceiling. I think that's the ceiling this year.

The Patriots' ceiling is a Super Bowl appearance if they beat the Bills

I would like to put Super Bowl appearance. Asterisk... I think we're gonna shock the world this Sunday and then anything's possible.

The Raiders will bench Russell Wilson for Jackson Dart on Sunday

Jackson Dart is starting on Sunday versus the Chargers. This is to be expected. Russell Wilson, that goal line sequence, that was it.

The Buccaneers could make a Super Bowl run

My Cool Throne for today is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Because after watching Baker go over to top to Buca and, you know, Buca didn't get a ton of yards, but he was fighting for every yard that he got. I keep watching clips and I keep, I keep having this thought in the back of my head. Like, we could just, we might, we could just make a run... it could go to the Super Bowl.

Terry McLaurin will sign his new contract today

I think Terry [McLaurin] is going to sign my prediction. My official prediction. I think he's signing today. Whoa. I think he's signing on Wednesday... The crazy bird inside my own brain is telling me he's going to sign today.

Justin Herbert will have a breakout season because he's dating Madison Beer

I agree. I think this is actually Justin Herbert's breakout season. Yeah. Yeah. I like this like getting the hot girlfriend. He's now he's around.

The NCAA voting not to expand the tournament is just a way to move the Overton window for next year

They're, they put this out there being like, Hey, we're not gonna do it. Knowing that now it's, it's they moved the Overton window. Where now we're talking about the expansion and next year they're probably gonna let it in.

Baker Mayfield will be the #1 player in the NFL Top 100 next year

Baker Mayfield has made it to num number 50 spot on the NFL top 100 list... I not being on the list. So math tells me next year he's number one.

Mike Vrabel will immediately set a no-nonsense tone as a consultant for the Patriots

Vrabel is back and it's no longer the Jerod Mayo. Did you guys see this clip of Mike Vrabel... He's a boss. He's just gonna be a boss. That's a tone set. That's a man that has teenage sons at home.

Twitch streamer Stable Ronaldo will go insane trying to beat Elden Ring in a padded room

He has locked himself in a padded room... Doesn't know what time it is until he completes Elden Ring... He's setting a pace for, for maybe insanity.

The USMNT will beat Mexico in the Gold Cup final but will inevitably disappoint in their next major tournament

The US is gonna play against Mexico in the finals. We're going to beat Mexico in the finals and we're all gonna be like US soccer's back. We're good. And then we're gonna blow it again in the next tournament that we play. It's the pageantry and the spectacle of the Gold Cup.

Within six months, humans will be unable to distinguish AI from reality

My Hot Seat is pretty much everybody on earth. We probably need to come together and realize that we can't tell anymore. No. There's like, and I thought this would be like a decade, 15, 20 years from now. It's, I think it's in the next six months where it's here, it's absolutely finished and there's no need in getting on the internet. 'Cause you have no clue what you're looking at.

Joey Chestnut will set a new world record at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest this year

He released a statement yesterday saying that it was, he never lost his love for the dogs. He just entered into a partnership with a plant-based company last year... he's gonna smoke 'em. I wanna see an all time record... he is top dog.

Brian Rolapp is being sent to the PGA Tour to eventually facilitate Saudi investment in the NFL

What's the biggest challenge facing golf right now? Getting everyone to play in one league. He's being brought in I think in large part to figure out that framework, make a deal so that Liv and PGA get back together... and then he is gonna come back to the NFL in a few years and be like, okay, we're opening up the potential investors in NFL teams to foreign investment funds.

Kevin Durant is going to be traded to the San Antonio Spurs

We also have the, the shams body language experts out being like, did you see what he, the look he gave when they mentioned the Spurs as a landing spot for Kevin Durant. So everyone thinks he's going to the Spurs.

Christian Yelich is going to win the MLB Home Run Derby

When I was in Milwaukee, all the brewers, like almost every single brewer when I walked by said, Christian Yelich is gonna win the home run derby this year. It's disgusting.

I personally guarantee Terry McLaurin will be on the Commanders next season

I personally guarantee that they're gonna pay him more guaranteed money and he's gonna be a commander next year. And that's a guarantee.

The winning score at the US Open will be over par because the course is impossible

Can we bet on the winning golfer to have a, a score that's over par? Yes... I wanna bet on winning score over par. I think this US Open is going to the course. Officially I've seen enough of the content where now I fear this course.

TJ Watt is unhappy in Pittsburgh and wants to leave

TJ Watt... he's gonna cost a lot of money. I think he's unhappy and I think he wants to go... I could imagine TJ Watt wearing a Green Bay Packers jersey.

Apple is going to force brain chips on everyone and we'll have no choice but to accept them

I don't want it, but it's coming. It's gonna happen and I'm gonna have to get it... So it's chip or be left behind. Correct. No choice. We just have to chip.

Charlie Woods will win more than five and a half career majors

Charlie Woods over under five and a half career majors... Over, over. Smash. Easy. Smash it easy.

LeBron James will announce that next season is his final year during the NBA Finals

I think there is going to be an announcement... this will be LeBron James last year. And he's gonna make us suffer through an entire year long thing. He might even do it during the NBA finals. I actually wouldn't be shocked if he does it during the NBA finals.

Paige Bueckers will be a better WNBA pro than Caitlin Clark because she's more athletic and explosive

I do think that she [Paige Bueckers] might be a better WNBA player than Caitlin Clark. I think she's more athletic. She's more explosive. Caitlin Clark obviously shoots better from the outside... but in terms of, I'm talking about winning.

Paige Bueckers will be a better pro than Caitlin Clark

I still think Paige Bueckers gonna be a better pro. I know, I know, she, I think Paige is gonna be better.