Takes

The 2020 NBA bubble would never have happened without Rudy Gobert's positive test

How crazy is it to think back to March that Rudy Gobert testing positive probably led to this bubble being created. We probably would never have Bubble life... the the Butterfly effect from that one test. The ripples will be felt for centuries.

The 2020 NBA season only counts if LeBron James wins it

I think the Pelicans are going to win. I think the Clippers are going to win lock it up noted does the season count? Yeah, not as LeBron wins, correct good answer.

LeBron James plays significantly worse on Tuesdays since starting the 'Taco Tuesday' era

He did a statistical analysis of every single LeBron James game played on a Tuesday night... he found out that pre Taco Tuesday he had win percentage that was 4% higher than normal... in the taco Tuesday era. It's minus 2 percent. So he's doing statistically way way worse trouble go on Tuesday nights because he's eating so many tacos.

Adam Silver should put a strip club inside the NBA bubble

I blame Adam Silver because Adam Silver should have a strip club inside the bubble. There should be a strip club. Yes. These are these are NBA players with needs and that among these are casual lap dances and Delicious lemon pepper barbecue wings.

Tom Thibodeau to the Knicks is not going to work

This is going to not work. Nothing screaming New York City like Tom Thibodeau... He went from like he didn't trust the ownership in GM in Chicago... now he's going to go work for James Dolan. I guarantee you Tim's decides just like he lives in Staten Island takes the ferry over every day.

The NBA Bubble won't feel weird until the conference finals

I actually think it's not going to be that weird to start. But once we get into, like, the conference finals, it's going to be fucking bizarre to have, like, games go on with no fans and just, like, big, big moments happen to, you know, 20 people in the room.

LeBron James will put 'James Sr.' or 'Father of Three' on the back of his NBA jersey

This would be – it would be so LeBron if he came out with a James Sr. on the back of his jersey... Or just father of three. Very tasteful... Father of – and then Roman numerals probably.

Carmelo Anthony will dominate in the NBA Bubble because it mimics the Olympic Village environment

This is actually the perfect environment for Carmelo Anthony because when does he perform at his best? In the Olympics, right? When the athletes are confined to a certain type of village with each other living under the bubble... and this is exactly what's happening in Orlando.

LeBron James is not currently a top-five player of all time

Is [LeBron James] on a trajectory to jump into the top five of all time? For sure. But with three championships and he's still on that trajectory, he's not there yet, in my opinion... I would have Bill Russell, Michael Jordan, Wilt Chamberlain [ahead of him].

NBA players will play better in the bubble because there is no away crowd or travel anxiety

The lack of anxiety is going to allow players that you probably didn't think were great players go out... they're going to play better. So if you want your things, some guys are going to average more than 10 points that typically don't.

Ben Simmons will hit a three-pointer in his first game back in the NBA bubble

I guarantee in [Ben Simmons'] first game, he'll hit a three... in this environment, he'll shoot it because the anxiety won't be there.

The Rockets would have beaten Michael Jordan's Bulls in the mid-90s because the Bulls were too small without Horace Grant

I think the reason they lost to Orlando, even when Michael [Jordan] came back... I just think his team wasn't good enough because Horace [Grant] was in Orlando. So they were small, Shaq killing him inside... If they had Rodman, I'd have been like, I don't know... but without Horace Grant and without Rodman, no, I don't think they would have done it.

NBA players are self-deputizing as Karens in the bubble

It's not the journalists that are doing it. It's actually the players. The players have self-deputized as Karens. I actually want every NBA player should get a Yelp account and I want to read their Yelp reviews of the hotel afterwards.

The primary issue for NBA players in the Orlando bubble will be the lack of sex and groupies.

What's going to end up happening in my mind is... the big news today in the NBA as we finally have the elephant that's been in the room the whole time. Stephen A. Smith addresses it head-on and says it's going to be an issue with how horny everyone's getting trying to get out of the bubble to hook up... I was saying the real problem is we don't know the groupie situation.

There is a 100% chance the NBA season will happen exactly as scheduled in the bubble.

What percentage that there will be a full basketball like real... from exactly how they have it scheduled? A hundred percent. Because I'm not willing to doubt myself now. It's the only thing I've got pulling me forward to the end of the month. So call me delusional, call me insane, but I think it's a hundred percent going to happen.

The NBA will power through positive COVID tests and won't cancel the season unless LeBron is impacted.

I don't think they're going to be deterred by a couple positive tests. I think it's going to be weird. I think there's going to be guys that are going to miss time... but they're going to power through it. I think... at what point does Adam Silver say, 'Okay, we're canceling this whole operation?' At that point you're going to get all the conspiracy theories coming out and saying they're just canceling it because LeBron is not going to make the finals.

The NBA blatantly rigged the schedule so that Zion Williamson makes the playoffs

The schedule is awesome because we are going to have day games... except for the fact that they rigged it so that Zion gets into the playoffs and that's awesome. Yeah. Absolutely. We're a hundred percent behind that... They basically play the bottom teams.

LeBron James intentionally sat out the end of the 2019 season because he was tipped off about COVID early

You remember that picture of LeBron James staying at the end of the bench far away from his teammates... knowing what we know now about LeBron James is financial ties to the Chinese government do you think he got tipped off ahead of time and was like hey I got to stay away from people so much that I'm going to try to send them all to New Orleans?

The lack of sex in the NBA bubble will lead to technical fouls and 1980s-style physicality

What if the just like rate of technical fouls and physicality of the game goes way way up because nobody's having sex inside the bubble? That would be great for us it be young back to real and be returned to the 80s and be a when men were men.

Kyrie Irving is right that the NBA's return could distract from the Black Lives Matter movement

The thing I don't understand—I actually Kyrie's statement, I actually kind of agree with. Like his point is if you're—if we're pushing for something to radically change, the one thing you don't want to allow is for people to be like, 'can we just get back to normal?' because like when you're back to normal, it's easy way of just saying, 'Oh well, like we'll deal with that later.'

Michael Jordan's 'Flu Game' pizza story is high comedy regardless of whether it's true

This brings us to the Michael Jordan eating a pizza during the NBA Finals question. What is funnier than that? Right? It's the the highest Stakes thing in the world... Whether it's eating a pizza or pretending to have eaten a pizza to cover up a mistake that's high comedy stakes. And what would the end of that movie be? Having the best game of your life while almost vomiting the entire time.

NBA players will be mostly fine and ready once the playoffs start in Orlando

I feel like once they get to the actual playoffs, like I think guys will be fine. The only thing I'm really worried about is like injuries. But I think they put enough time in to allow guys to be prepared as possible. But, yeah, there will be some rust, but I don't think it will be too bad.

Carmelo Anthony will thrive in the Orlando bubble because he's a pickup basketball legend

Carmelo is probably going to be awesome because he loves playing in those gyms. The lifetime fitness all-stars. Those are the guys I'm going to betting on.

The NBA season should start on Christmas Day to avoid competing with football

I do think that we should we should push our start date back just because we're having we're competing against college football and nfl football just so big. I feel like the casual fan of sports doesn't really care about basketball until christmas anyway.

The NBA return plan is effectively the 'Zion Williamson rule'

The New Orleans Pelicans are right now the 10th seed... they want to figure out a way to get Zion West and I am all for that. It's the Zion rule. Adam Silver could have just gotten in front of the nation and been like 'Hey guys Zion, have you heard of him? Kind of a big deal and we want to make sure that he's involved in this no matter what.'

The LeBron vs. MJ debate has evolved into whether LeBron would be a better #2 than Scottie Pippen

LeBron James has been Quoted as saying that he would like to have played with MJ not against them... now the debate has shifted to would LeBron James be a better number two than Scottie Pippen is. So now we're comparing that now we're saying would LeBron be a better number two than Scotty was to Jordan.

Vince Carter's dunk over Frederic Weis is the most vicious in basketball history

Fredrik Weiss not getting out of the way of Vince Carter worst business is very is he's ever made? Yep. Yep. It was vicious nut dragging dunk in history of basketball.

The Chicago Bulls organization is on Michael Jordan's shit list, and that's why they've been doomed ever since

I think the reason why the Bulls have been doomed ever since is because the Bulls are actually on Michael Jordan's list now, too. If you watch that last moment when he has the iPad available, like finding out why Reinsdorf said they should break up the team. I think he is now, I think the Bulls are the top. It goes Bulls and then Isaiah Thomas on MJ's shit list. And anyone who ends up on MJ's shit list, as we learned through this 10-part documentary, is screwed forever.

Reggie Miller's 'throw away the game plan' quote is what losers say in Game 7s

I knew that there was a difference between Reggie Miller and Michael Jordan was in this documentary when Reggie Miller said, when you get to Game 7, you just throw away your game plan entirely because it's all about who wants it more in a Game 7. It's like that's exactly what somebody who loses a Game 7 says. Like, yeah, the whole like they wanted it more and you don't have a game plan. Michael Jordan wanted you to think that they didn't have a game plan. Michael Jordan absolutely had a game plan in that Game 7.

The 1998 Bulls definitely would have won a 7th championship if they had stayed together

the ending obviously broke my heart because it's like they definitely would have won a seventh in my mind. That was the lockout year, so they would have had a lot of – they would have had a lot of rest. They wouldn't have had to start for a long time... If they had brought it back for another year, it would be tough to think that anyone would have beaten them.

Weight training helped my shooting touch because it made the game easier

I got serious about weight training, probably my second year at Tech... You're looking around, and weight training wasn't huge then. You know, it's a myth out there about weight training. Don't lift, you're going to throw your shot out. What I would always do was lift before practice. So when you go out there and shoot, you get your touchback. And believe it or not, when you had me, when I added weight training, my shot and everything was easier for me because I was strong.

The NBA would have been forced to change the rules if Shaq or Charles Barkley had taken weight lifting seriously

Can you imagine if Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal would have took weight training serious? With Shaquille, they would have changed the rules. He was already – you know, you're talking about country strong? Him. But Charles Barkley, for what he could do, can you imagine if he would have took weight training serious? I don't ever – I could be wrong. I don't think Charles left a weight in his life.

Comparing the physicality of the modern NBA to the 90s is absolute nonsense

Stop the nonsense. Don't compare what's happening now to back then. What are you talking about? ... analytics right now. That's all they talk about. Analytics. Sprinkle some analytics in there. But all this, hold on. You know, my hat not getting hot. I'm just I almost got a migraine just then thinking about players resting.

If an NBA player needs to rest for 'load management', they should do it at home, not on the road

let's make a rule right now... if you're going to rest, rest at home in front of your season ticket holder... The emphasis have to be or should be back on the fans and less of the athlete because we're going to do what we do.

Chris Webber, Derek Coleman, and Charles Barkley were all more talented than me, but I outworked them

I'm going to tell you three guys that have more talent than Karl Malone. Chris Webber, Derek Coleman, Charles Barkley. More talent. More talent. But they did not outwork me. I will never use the word he was better than me. More talented is different, right? I look and say, I can't do his position and he can't do mine... More talent? Yes. Worked harder? No.

The NBA should permanently move its season start to Christmas Day

I've been saying that for 15 years. Rather than taking on football, with our first early games, let's let them get close to playoffs and just go wholeheartedly starting Christmas Day.

If the Lakers win the 2020 title, people will put an asterisk on LeBron James' championship

If the Lakers win, [Hank] is absolutely putting an asterisk on LeBron James' title. ... It will be an asterisk next to that team forever.

Michael Jordan's personality is the only thing that allowed him to be exceptionally great

You don't say that him being a jerk made him great, but you're saying that his greatness, like, yeah, he probably would not have been looked at in the way that we look at him right now if he didn't have that personality.

The 1996 Bulls game against the Indiana Pacers had higher viewership than March Madness

MJ did three times the NCAA tournament. Think about that. The NBA game in the middle of March did three times NCAA tournament, so much so CBS had to do a make good for advertisers because they got so fucking roasted in viewership because MJ came back during March Madness.

Michael Jordan was only 70-75% of his peak self during the 1995 NBA return

When he came back for that shortened season, 70%, 75% best. And it was a crazy thing. Even at 70%, 75%, he's probably better than 90% of the players, but he wasn't Michael Jordan.

The famous Flu Game was actually a case of food poisoning from a pizza

100% it was food poisoning, 100%. But obviously it just sounds better to be the flu game than the food poisoning game... Nobody ate the pizza, but him, nobody. And there was no signs of flu, anything being sick before that. And then about three o'clock in the morning... he's literally curled up in a fetal position.

LeBron James is one of the worst teammates of all time because he takes all the credit and trades everyone else

LeBron James. Can't be fun to be his teammate. You're always, always in fear that he's like, if you do well, he's going to take all the credit. If you do bad, he's probably going to trade you off the team.

Seth Curry's son will grow up to be the greatest basketball player alive

Seth Curry's kid is going to be the greatest basketball player alive... He'll be taking down the Bronnies.

I would definitely go into an NBA bubble to finish the season

If I were still playing in the league right now and Adam Silver called me up and said, hey, we're going to go live in a bubble... I would be open to it. One, if it's safe and it's a healthy environment, that's great. Two, being able to forfeit that time away from your family... it's a give-take situation.

Mountain Dew prevented me from getting cramps during NBA games

I was a full-blown addict, man, with the Mountain Dews... I used to have a liter, like, just in my locker... third quarter comes, bam, Mountain Dew, no cramps. Then fourth quarter comes, bam, Mountain Dew, get buckets. I hit game winners because of that shit.

March Madness makes you want to play basketball more than any other event

I would say my number one would be March Madness always makes me want to go play hoops. Something about March Madness makes basketball more romantic, so you just want to go play it and relive Valpo and all this shit.

Michael Jordan released 'The Last Dance' 50% to bash Isiah Thomas and 50% to prove he is better than LeBron James

If you had to break it down Michael Jordan doing this documentary [is] 50% to remind everyone in the world that Michael Jordan's the goat and like he's still better than LeBron and 50% just to shit down Isiah Thomas' throat.

Michael Jordan's claim that I was the source for 'The Jordan Rules' is a lie

For MJ to say I wasn't the source of this book, that's a lie. That's a downright lie and he knows that... Sam Smith spent more time with Bill Cartwright, BJ Armstrong, Paxson, Tex Winter, Johnny Bach... I don't know where that comes that I was the source behind the book. It's a straight-up lie.

Shaquille O'Neal and Penny Hardaway would have won at least two or three championships if they stayed together in Orlando

I would say at least two or three championships. People have forgotten about Penny Hardaway—6'7, 6'8 like a Magic Johnson who can shoot the ball, very athletic. His IQ was off the chart when it came to basketball.

The 1990s Bulls would have beaten the KD-era Warriors in six games

I would say the Bulls in six. Being with the Bulls, we don't believe in seven games in the finals... when you got a Michael Jordan and a Scottie Pippen in their prime and Horace Grant here, I mean, victory.