Takes

Saquon Barkley has been horrible all season for the Eagles

Saquon also all of a sudden sucks. Now that no one's talking about that. He's horrible. He's been horrible all year. The whole team sucks. Everyone sucks.

The 2024 Eagles roster is better than the 2022 Super Bowl team

They're [the Eagles] better than they were two years ago... I'm pretty sure they are. They just won a Super Bowl and the roster's pretty similar.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed after being under .500 for two days

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

The Seattle Seahawks will beat the Jacksonville Jaguars in Week 6

I love the Seahawks in this game... I feel like there might be a little let down [for the Jags]... Seahawks need to win... you'll get a very strong effort from the Seahawks.

Drake Maye will beat a winning team for the first time this week (Okie Doke)

I think this is the week that that Drake Maye finally beats a team that's above .500. I think he's done a great job getting to this place... he's put in the prep. This is the week where Drake Maye beats a winning team.

The Commanders will win 'decisively' against the Chargers

This is a must win decisively game. I think that, I think we can win this game decisively. Commanders minus six and a half. Yeah. You should take that. I'm in, I'm in on it. I trust in Dan Quinn. Dan's gonna get it figured out.

The Commanders' ceiling this season is a second-round playoff loss

I think at the best this team is going to be good enough to lose in the second round of the playoffs. That's the ceiling. I think that's the ceiling this year.

The Lions are a scary, complete football team

Lions 34, Browns 10. This is why the Lions are so scary. Because this was such a let down spot... Browns have a good defense. Doesn't matter. They'll just fucking work you and work you with their defense. Work you with their offense. The Lions are a complete football team.

The Colts beat themselves in a win-and-loss paradox against the Rams

Can we still say the Colts are undefeated because they beat themselves? But they did get a win and also still a loss. They're four and one right now because they beat themselves... The Colts had 10 players on the field. You can't beat yourself more than what the Colts did today.

The Ravens will win their division despite starting 1-3

I actually think that the Ravens are gonna make the playoffs. I think they're probably gonna win that division too. I don't think that's even that hard of a take.

Patrick Mahomes is still the best quarterback in the NFL and the Chiefs are probably going back to the Super Bowl

Patrick Mahomes is still the best quarterback in the NFL and [the Chiefs] are probably going to the Super Bowl. He spread the ball around perfectly... they're gonna be in the AFC championship game at minimum.

I am worried that Terry McLaurin has a serious core injury

I've become worried about Terry [McLaurin] though. Yesterday it comes out, he's getting a second opinion on a quad injury. And I would imagine that if the first opinion was good news, he probably wouldn't be like, Hey, let me make sure I'll go get a second opinion. And then did a, a little bit of digging... the doctor that he's seeing for the second opinion is a core injury specialist. Mm. Like sports hernias.

The Patrick Mahomes 'conversation' will be triggered if the Chiefs lose badly to the Ravens

At what point do we have to say there's maybe Mahomes isn't what he was... This is the conversation game. If they lose and it's close, then it's not the time for the conversation. Right. But we will have a definitive answer after this game.

Mason Graham is currently the NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year

Mason Graham is probably the defensive rookie of the year right now, I would say... he's got a 43% pass rush win rate against the Packers... for a defensive tackle, it's crazy.

Marcus Mariota might be the best quarterback on the Washington Commanders roster

I just said, I was just like, what if Marcus Mariota is the best quarterback on the Washington Commanders roster.

Brian Thomas Jr. will finish the season with 900 yards and six touchdowns

I'll predict 900 yards, six touchdowns for Brian Thomas Jr... That feels right to me.

Marvin Harrison Jr. currently has the yips

Marvin Harrison Jr. might suck dude... I'm not scared to say it. Apparently you are, but yeah. He has the yips. You said it earlier, can receivers... he has the yips. Both him and Brian Thomas.

Russell Wilson's NFL career is officially over

Is Russell Wilson done? Should be. Should be... it's just gotta end. Gotta go. This, this was too much... just be done with Russ. We've seen this too much. It's over... the question is, is it this week against the Chargers? You have to go to Los Angeles? No, that's at home. Sorry. At home against the Chargers.

Spencer Rattler will get his first NFL win as a starter this week against the Seahawks

I think, I think they're gonna win. [Spencer Rattler] is gonna get his first win this week. First win as a starter.

The Commanders are legitimate Super Bowl contenders this season

No, we thinking Super Bowl. It's been generations since we could think Super Bowl and just to be in that window to think Super Bowl is a privilege... Congratulations to the team by the way. We moving back to the nation's capital.

Lions defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn should be fired if the defense gets embarrassed by a backup offensive line

I was saying if the defense gets embarrassed by an all backup offensive line... he should probably be [fired]. Must compete. I wanna see a competitive football team against a team that has 2% of their offense.

The Bengals should only run the ball with their current backup quarterback room

They [the Bengals] should not try to pass. They should just try to run the football. That's because those four [backup] names—Jake Browning, Sean Clifford, Brett Rypien, and Mike White—that's literally a Mount Rushmore of 'hand the ball off.' Do not try to pass the ball.

Mike McDaniel will be the first NFL head coach fired this season

It feels like it's going to be our first head coach fired this season... the heat on his seat is volcanic at this point because they had a players only meeting after week one.

The Green Bay Packers are a generational, once-in-a-lifetime team

The Green Bay Packers are a problem. Generational team. We said if they don't win the Super Bowl, it would be the greatest upset in the history of sports. And they are so good. They're guaranteed to win this Super Bowl and probably next year's Super Bowl.

The Commanders will win 10 games but are not good enough to beat elite teams

I think we're like an above average team right now. I think we're like a 10 win team. But that's like our, our, we're not gonna beat the good teams, the very good teams. It was just, it was ugly.

Kyle Shanahan will coach extra hard to prove Mac Jones was the right pick

Kyle Shanahan's gonna put a little extra mustard on it to be like, I'm not sleeping at all this week. I need to prove that Mac Jones was the guy and I should have picked Mac Jones and Mac Jones can be a really good starter in the NFL.

The Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl

Bills have the easiest schedule now. Undefeated. Would it, wouldn't it be funny if the bills went undefeated? It's week one. I'm not gonna overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are gonna go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.

The Indianapolis Colts are going to make the playoffs this year

I think the Colts are gonna make the playoffs this year. I'll tell you that much. I, I, looking at their schedule... they don't have a hard schedule. And Anthony Richardson looked awesome. I think he's gonna be good enough to win a majority of their games if he stays healthy.

JJ McCarthy is the number one 'gamer' in the NFL

JJ McCarthy, gamer dude. Is he the number one gamer that we got right now? ...I think he's become the number one gamer now in the NFL. It's like, well yeah, as bad as things can look. So he's just gonna figure out a way to win.

The Bears are going to get their asses kicked by the Lions in Week 2

The Vikings are good. The Bears are bad. The Bears are gonna get their asses kicked by the Lions in a get right game in week two.

Jackson Dart will take over as the Giants starter after their game against the Chiefs

Jackson [Dart] will be the starter soon. Yeah. I feel like it's gonna be right after that Chiefs game. What was it? Charger at home? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I've got circled. But yeah, if you're taking two days to announce your starter in week two, that means that that guy's not gonna be your starter much longer.

The Buccaneers could make a Super Bowl run

My Cool Throne for today is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Because after watching Baker go over to top to Buca and, you know, Buca didn't get a ton of yards, but he was fighting for every yard that he got. I keep watching clips and I keep, I keep having this thought in the back of my head. Like, we could just, we might, we could just make a run... it could go to the Super Bowl.

The Steelers can win a playoff game this year

Aaron Rodgers, to his credit... he looked better than any Steelers quarterback that I can remember since Big Ben could move. This is what I was talking about when I said that I think the Steelers can win a playoff game this year.

The Jets are a top 7 AFC playoff team

I'd say we're a top seven... A playoff team. After week one.

The Browns should sign Justin Tucker

Given who's already on the Browns roster, should the Browns take a look at Justin Tucker... if there's anywhere that Justin Tucker can go right now and people aren't gonna be like, whoa, what are you doing here?

The Dolphins could be the worst team in the NFL this year

The Dolphins have maybe the chance of being the worst team in the NFL and they're definitely the worst vibes in the NFL because holy shit did they get absolutely smashed by the Colts.

The Packers are going to win the Super Bowl

The Packers are a problem. They're very, very good. But again, I can't, I'm not surprised because I told you they're, they're gonna win the Super Bowl. It's almost guaranteed.

If the Commanders beat the Packers, I am expecting a Super Bowl

If we beat the Packers, anything less than a Super Bowl championship this year will be a, a massive crushing disappointment to me. If we win against the Packers, I'm thinking soupy, soupy.

Jake Moody should be cut by the 49ers next week

Jake Moody has been a problem for the Niners... 12 of 23 is insane. He's gotta be cut this week... I'd be shocked if he was on the team next week.

The Denver Broncos will win the a FC West this season

[Big Cat] I say yes [the Chiefs win the a FC West]... Who do you have winning the a FC West? [Hank] The Denver Broncos.

The Steelers will win a playoff game this year

I think the Steelers are gonna win a playoff game this year. One, I think they're gonna win one playoff game this year.

The Packers are the best team in the NFL by far and will win the Super Bowl

I'm gonna take the Packers in this game. The Packers are the best team in the NFL. I don't even think it's close. Not close. They're gonna win the Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl will be Detroit vs. Buffalo

I'm going Detroit and, and Buffalo. That'd be great. Right. It's between both these teams you like, you like the stories, you like Dan Campbell... Buffalo's kind of been my a FC team for a while.

The Giants defense will be ferocious and cause problems for the league

Their defense is, is set up to be very good, especially kind of in a pass happy league they can get to quarterback... they can get sack fumbles, they can get, you know, get to the quarterback and really, you know, cause some problems.

Joe Burrow will win NFL MVP

I'm taking Joe Burrow this year. Joe Burrow's my pick.

Jordan Love will win NFL MVP

I'm taking Jordan Love. I think the Packers are gonna be filthy.

The Bills will win the Super Bowl

The Bills is who I think is gonna win the Super Bowl.

The Bills will win 13 or 14 games and have a very favorable schedule

I think the bills run away with it. And if you look at the Bill's schedule, the bill's schedule is as favorable as any first place team has ever had... I they have to look to me of a 13 win team. I really believe that. Maybe 14.

The Raiders will only win five games because their defense lacks talent

Yeah, they [the Raiders] might win five games... When I look at their defense, there's not a lot of talent on it... I worry about the defense. I do think they'll be pretty good on offense... but I worry about the defense.

The Buccaneers are legitimate Super Bowl contenders in the NFC

Bucks. More bucks. I think they're one of the teams that could push for the Super Bowl in the NFC. I love the Bucks. I think the make everybody's back on offense... They're gonna be the team to beat in that division.