Takes

Russell Wilson is a very good quarterback, but he is not great.

For years, everybody thinks I'm a Russell Wilson hater. I just think he's very good and he's not great. People want to put him in the Hall of Fame. Well, now we're going to find out. I don't think the defense is going to be nearly as good... it's his team now. He needs to be great.

Seahawks running back Chris Carson will rush for 1,200 yards this season.

Carson is coming back this year. He broke his leg last year. That guy is going to be an awesome running back. I'm standing on the table officially right now for Chris Carson. You heard it here first. That guy is going to run for like 1,200 yards.

Kirk Cousins is going to suck for the Vikings this year.

Kirk Cousins is going to suck this year. The answer is no [on whether he is good enough to get them past where they went a year ago].

The Green Bay Packers will face the Jacksonville Jaguars in Super Bowl LIII.

I had in my predictions the Super Bowl as Packers versus Jaguars. I think the Patriots are going to be... as long as Belichick and Brady are there, they're going to be fine. It's just that I don't think they're going to the Super Bowl. I think Jacksonville's legit.

Drew Brees is just a 'dinker and a dunker' now.

Brees still, huh? Really? But all he does is he dinks and dunks. He's a dinker. He's a dunker. No, all he does is, like, oh, I got Kamara. I'm just going to give him the ball and let him run with it. That's what Drew Brees does.

Sam Darnold will be the first rookie quarterback to start a game in the 2018 season.

Who's going to be the first rookie quarterback to start a game? Darnold. I think Darnold's going to start sooner rather than later.

Josh Allen is going to be a big-time NFL quarterback despite his college stats.

Josh Allen's going to be a good quarterback, though, but I can't figure out for the life of me why that kid takes as much abuse as he does. Okay, his stats weren't good at Wyoming, but if you watch the tape, he was playing with bouncers and bartenders... he is going—it might take him a little seasoning—but he's going to be a big-time quarterback.

The Cincinnati Bengals have a chance to be a sneaky playoff team in 2018.

Don't sleep on the Bengals either, by the way. You're going to laugh when I tell you that. The Bengals have a chance. Because they've got young talent on defense... Lawson and Willis... and that offensive line... I think it'll be better with getting Cordy Glenn in there.

Jon Gruden is going to be a disaster for the Raiders.

I think John Gruden is going to be such a disaster for the Raiders, but I am so excited to watch it. It's going to be three yards in a cloud of dust. They're going to get figured out by week three.

The video of Chandler Jones breaking a blocking sled is a fake PR stunt.

I'm a little bit woke on this, too, because why do you have a camera that's filming this? It was at a cool angle, too. It was like a GoPro. He broke it... I'm very woke on it. I think I'm leaning towards fake on it.

Washington D.C. sports will never lose another championship again

The Redskins won the offseason again. They do that every year. They're a dynasty at this point. You have to count them as a dynasty. And... The Washington Valor won the Arena Bowl after going 2-10 in the regular season. They won the championship. What a story. Yeah, so Washington, D.C. sports will never lose another championship again.

The Cleveland Browns will win seven games this year

I have something very brave to say. I think the Cleveland Browns are going to win seven games this year.

The Cleveland Browns are going to win the AFC North

I think they're going to win the division. And you know what? They're going to be fun as shit. I'm dead serious. They got Pac-Man [Adam Jones] coming in at cornerback maybe? They will definitely win more than – I'm going to say, yeah, like they're in that – yeah, they'll be scrappy. They'll be upgraded to scrappy.

The 1990s were the last era where professional athletes could be out of shape and still succeed

The 90s were kind of the last era where guys were basically able to just be fat pieces of shit and go to the whole thing... There's some guy who in every single sport we can trace to. Like, who is the guy who's like, I'm actually going to train in the offseason? I'm going to lift weights.

This is the year Ryan Tannehill finally takes the next step

The Ryan Tannehill knee brace, Tannehill 2.0. He is really leaning into this is the year that Ryan Tannehill takes the big step, the next step. I think it's awesome that wearable technology has gotten to the point where a quarterback can have their total QBR on their actual equipment.

The best way to end a player holdout is to invent a disappointed child

It's a great, great way to just bend teams to your will is invent a child. For everybody else out there, just invent a kid and be like, my child is so disappointed. He was your hero. We gave him some matches. He's four years old and he just burned your jersey in the backyard.

J.J. Watt being healthy is the official sign that football is back

you know football is back because there's a lot of buzz about J.J. Watt not being injured... J.J. Watt being like, is this the year that J.J. Watt can stay healthy all year? That means football is officially back.

The Hall of Fame game becomes absolute dog shit after the first five minutes

I'm excited for the Hall of Fame game. My dumb brain tricks my dumb body into getting all amped up for the Hall of Fame game. And then I forget that after the first five minutes of the game, it's just absolute dog shit.

Aaron Donald is one of the top five players in the league and the Rams need to pay him

they have not given their best player and one of the top five players in the league, Aaron Donald, a new contract. So I feel like this is not getting – you've got to take care of that guy, right?

Joe Flacco's mobility is night and day compared to last year

Joe Flacco's mobility is night and day compared to last year. He's healthy now. Flacco is full speed. The difference is evident. No limitations as a scrambler. Or even on designed runs. So they're opening up the playbook for Flacco. They're going to let him show off the wheels.

Tom Brady would have retired if the Patriots had beaten the Eagles in the Super Bowl

If they had won the Super Bowl this year [Super Bowl LII], I believe he retired. Because I think when Gisele said that to the CBS Morning Show, she wasn't provoked to talk about his concussions. She was putting the pressure on him, I think, to say, Tommy's had concussions. He's not going to listen to me, but maybe he'll listen to somebody else.

The Patriots only traded Jimmy Garoppolo because Tom Brady forced them to

It doesn't make sense what happened in New England. If you tell me that that organization all of a sudden said, we're not trading Garoppolo. You can't have Garoppolo. Then all of a sudden you could have Garoppolo for a second-round draft pick. It doesn't make sense. And then, you know, so Brady, if he's pushing them to say, look, I'm not retiring here. Get rid of the kid. It feels like now Brady's indebted to them a little bit because they did what it felt like he asked them to do.

Jimmy Garoppolo's date with a porn star was actually a charity auction win

The porn star won an auction, a charity auction, to spend an evening with Jimmy Garoppolo. So he was saving kids' lives by taking the porn star on a date. I don't know if this is true or not. In fact, it sounds exactly like something that you would make up to tell your girlfriend... I'm saying that what actually happened was the porn star paid a couple grand probably for a nice evening out on the town with a nice young quarterback.

No two countries with American football have ever gone to war with each other

I sat back. I crunched the numbers. No two countries that have American football have ever gone to war with each other. [Countries like] Mexico. Canada. Canada... they have Canadian football. Yeah, it's the same thing.

Le'Veon Bell and the Steelers are never getting back together.

Le'Veon Bell and the Steelers are never, ever getting back together.

Le'Veon Bell will eventually sign with the Washington Redskins.

So, yeah, future Washington R-Word Le'Veon Bell. You heard it here first on Pardon My Take.

Boltman's retirement is the 'official' end of the Chargers in San Diego

And it's like this is the official move of the Chargers to L.A. When Boltman retires and he's like, I'm done. I've been pushed too far. Boltman, these diehard fans that the organization just pushes them a little too far, and they have to announce their retirement.

Jeff Fisher will be a good announcer because he is as close to nothing as possible

I'm being totally honest when I say that I think [Jeff Fisher] will be a good announcer, and here's why. The best announcers don't really say shit... [Fisher] is as close to nothing as possible. So he'll just, like, chime in. Every, like, third down, he'll be like, I think they should probably run it here.

The 2018 Cleveland Browns will win 6 to 8 games and potentially make the playoffs

I'm calling it right now six to eight wins. We may be able to go nine and seven and sneak in as a wild card.

There is a 0% chance I will ever return to the NFL

I'd say if it was from zero to 100, 100 being yes, I thought about it, zero being I didn't think about it, I'd say anywhere into the negative 100,000.

Barry Sanders is still capable of an NFL comeback

My last one is more of a hypothetical comeback because it hasn't happened yet... Barry Sanders, always going to come back. A lot of rumors ever since he retired. I still think he could go out there and do it. I think he could.

Kirk Cousins is the Rihanna of NFL quarterbacks

I'm just the biggest Kirk Cousins fan in the world... It's like, if you're in a relationship, you know, your girlfriend would understand, okay. You got a wandering eye... If that's Rihanna, or, like. Wow, Kirk Cousins is Rihanna.

I have about 10 years of football left in me

I probably got, like, 10 more [years]... I probably got, like, six or, like, seven, like, real years in me. Then the last three, I just steal... Dwight Freeney style. Just, like, be a mercenary in the middle of the year.

I will announce my NFL retirement on Pardon My Take

Lane Johnson will announce his retirement at some point on Pardon My Take. Okay. We want to shake hands on this? Yeah. Okay, let's shake hands. We will do this.

The drop I had in the Super Bowl haunts me more than the catch that everyone talks about

I don't think about that catch when I think about [Super Bowl 51]. I think about right after halftime... I drop that ball and I was the guy over here, you know the rah-rah guy... I think about that third down how much harder it made it for us to go because we had a little momentum there. So, like, that's what I think about, bro. I don't even think about that catch. I think about that drop.

Playing a road game in the SEC is harder than playing a road game in the NFL

[Speaker 2] (34:31-34:32) Oh, I don't know. [Speaker 2] (34:32-34:33) Probably playing a road game in the SEC. [Speaker 2] (34:33-34:38) SEC is just a little bit louder, more passionate fans.

Julian Edelman is innocent until proven guilty regarding his PED suspension

[Speaker 0] (11:15-1:16:00) Now, with that said, we are still standing by the fact that Julian Edelman is innocent. [Speaker 0] (1:16:00-1:16:02) Last I checked in this country, you're innocent until proven guilty.

The NFL is right to refuse Laurent Duvernay-Tardif's request to put 'MD' on his jersey

Laurent Duvernay-Tardif finishes medical school... and asked the NFL he could put MD on the back of his uniform and they said no. I agree with them. Too many doctors, and we might start figuring out what concussions are like. This isn't the National Medical League, okay? This is football.

Philip Rivers is a better quarterback than Eli Manning

Philip Rivers, better quarterback than Eli Manning. Much better. Better career. More viral. I know the two Super Bowls... statisticaly, better quarterback.

The Cleveland Browns have found their quarterback in Baker Mayfield

I love Baker Mayfield... he was so calm and cool about it like he didn't get mad he was just like you're a fucking idiot man and so Cleveland I think you found your quarterback.

The Herschel Walker trade is the worst in NFL history

I'll go with the worst trade in NFL history, Herschel Walker to the Vikings that basically started the entire dynasty for the Cowboys in the 90s... and then the Cowboys won three Super Bowls.

The Jay Cutler trade was the worst trade of all time for the Chicago Bears

So my worst trade of all time probably, I know this is my fourth, but it's really the worst, was the Chicago Bears getting Jay Cutler. Really bad trade. Very terrible trade... He got just his shit pumped by Aaron Rodgers again and again.

The Todd Haley and Ben Roethlisberger relationship will not work out in Cleveland

I don't think the Todd Haley, Ben Roethlisberger situation is going to work out... Todd Haley is so detestable he makes Ben Roethlisberger a sympathetic figure. That's incredible.

Andrew Luck is never actually going to throw an NFL football again

[Andrew Luck] is proving our theory of that arrow paradox, the Schrodinger's arrow. He's never going to actually throw a football. He's just getting incrementally closer and closer and closer to throwing NFL football.

The Ravens are using a two-QB package as a passive-aggressive way to bench Joe Flacco

The Ravens just blew our minds. They're working on a package that has two quarterbacks on the field at the same time... This is the passive-aggressive Ravens way of just like, kind of easing [Joe Flacco] out. Just like having the formation change slowly until Lamar Jackson is standing directly in front of him on every snap.

The Cleveland Browns will be an exciting team this season with Baker Mayfield

Cleveland might be one of the most exciting teams in football this year just because they've got so much going on and then they get Baker potentially... If they go 7-9 this year versus, but if they go 2-14, it's kind of as expected.

The Colts are favorites to finish second in the AFC South behind the Jaguars

the Colts, just in general, are back this year. I think you've got to pencil them in as favorites to come in second in that division behind the Jaguars.

Julian Edelman is likely innocent of PED use because his Call of Duty stats were consistent

I've played Call of Duty with Julian Edelman multiple times... and I never noticed any performance that was out of the ordinary. Usually his kills to death ratio was pretty consistent throughout. No big spikes. So from where I'm sitting, probably didn't do it.

The NFL has a 'charity problem'

I'm going to go as far to say, does the NFL have a charity problem? Might be. Might be. Let's look into that.

Clay Matthews might be over the hill because of his slow reaction time

I think Clay Matthews might be over the hill because his reaction time was really bad. It was pretty slow. Really slow. This was a softball... You should be able to get your glove up.