Takes

90 minutes is the perfect length for a comedy movie

And it's only like, it's like 90 minutes, which is, I think a perfect comedy movie time. Because whenever they try to do like... a hundred minutes, you know, there's going to be 15 minutes where they're like, this just stretches on. Seeing under 100 minutes, I'm instantly more likely to click it.

Entourage's simple 'problem-solving' structure was hilarious and brilliant

I love what the problems were... in entourage... like if you think about, you know, you watch the episode and you think what was the problem they had to solve and it's like man fuck Vince they want you to do Aquaman and this other movie but we don't know if you can do both... wait guys we figured it out Vince can do both he's getting 50 million dollars.

There is a distinct difference between being cool and being a badass

Jules is cool... He has bad motherfucker on his wallet, but he's essentially very cool. He's lethal and dangerous as all hell. Kind of like Ordell is a bad motherfucker. He's not cool because he's kind of corny and he dresses kind of wack and his hair ain't all the way there. But he will fuck you up.

Tom Cruise would murder Justin Bieber in a fight

I still think Tom Cruise would kick his ass. Tom Cruise would murder him. Dude, he does all his own stunts. Hanging outside of a helicopter at Mission Impossible. Yes, that's him.

Tom Cruise is washed up and would lose to Justin Bieber

Bebs is a beast. He's in the prime of his career right now. And Tom Cruise is washed up.

The Jonas Brothers are actually not losers and their documentary is good

My Firefest of the week is that I watched a Jonas Brothers documentary, and I actually really liked them. You go in and you're like, oh, Jonas Brothers, those guys are losers. Only teenage girls like them... Then you watch the documentary. You realize they were grinding for three years.

Being ignored at a roast is meaner than being made fun of

That's almost meaner [to go soft]. If I ignore you at a roast, it means either you can't take it or I don't care about you.

I am sick of The Rock posting relatable cheat meals while he's in peak physical condition

I'm putting The Rock on my hot seat because I'm sick of him posting his cheat meals. Being like, look how relatable this is, guys. I don't know if you noticed this, but like every month, Rock will post a huge pancake or something. And be like, damn, look at this cheat meal I'm about to devour. Being like, everyone out there, you know what it's like to eat like shit. Yeah, Rock, we eat like shit every fucking day. You're not cool because you eat a big pancake once every 30 days and you can deadlift 1,000 pounds and you spend your life in a fucking gym.

Joey Salads having sex thousands of times without a pregnancy means he has 'beta sperm'

Actually, admitting that you've never gotten pregnant when your main point is just pulling out. That tells me you've got beta sperm, bro. You got a little tiny dead fish in there.

Drake is a Canadian version of a trash-talker who waits to respond via subtle social media changes

That's the most Canadian response ever to a disc track is to just wait and then subtly change your social media. Yeah, take as much time as possible. That's as mean as they get in Canada.

The Game of Thrones finale felt like they were just playing SimCity at the end

They're sitting around like the ending of Seinfeld sitting in the jail... It turned into them playing Sim City around the table at the end you're like okay we got to build the electric power plant but make sure that's not too close to the residential neighborhoods.

If Jon Snow told Grey Worm he killed Daenerys, Grey Worm would have killed him instantly

If Jon Snow told Grey Worm that he killed Daenerys, Grey Worm would have killed him. In a second. They didn't show any of that.

Bran Stark will become the King of Westeros

Bran comes down from Winterfell, stands up out of his wheelchair, and raises his arms and shows he's the true Night King... but I think it's Bran. But it's Bran just because all the betting sites are like Bran.

Jon Snow will kill Daenerys Targaryen and the dragon

I've said that Jon Snow's going to kill Dany... I think Jon Snow's going to kill Dany and kill the dragon. Because he's going to be like, we can't have dragons in this world. Look what they did to King's Landing.

Bran Stark being King makes perfect sense because he knows all of history

They elect Bran... because he knows all of history... he's literally a walking, well, not walking, sorry... rolling history book. He's the perfect one for the realm... He's above everyone.

Arya Stark will die in the Game of Thrones series finale

I think Arya's going to die too. Yeah. There's my prediction. Yeah, she seems like she's a likable enough character. She's got a little bit of that spunk in her where she can get herself into some trouble.

Hannah B. is a bad Bachelorette because she cried too much in the first episode

I'm not a Hannah B fan whatsoever, so I would grade it like a C. The season's going to be tough. If you're the Bachelorette and you cry over the first guy, it's like you're the Bachelorette, you have 30 guys. One guy fucks you over, you're supposed to kick him to the curb and move on.

I am officially 'Team Targaryen' and defend Daenerys' actions as a battle tactic

I want the Targaryens to be ruling at the end... You show up for battle, you've got to fucking battle... If a team against Alabama is getting blown out, they're not just going to quit halfway through the game. You don't take a knee in the third quarter.

Arya Stark will be the one to kill Daenerys Targaryen in Game of Thrones

Arya is going to kill Dany, by the way... Aria's going to try to kill her, get killed, and then Jon's going to kill her. If Arya gets killed, the internet riots.

Jon Snow is responsible for the massacre at King's Landing because he wouldn't sleep with Daenerys

Jon Snow should get some of this blame because if he just had sex with her, she probably wouldn't have gone crazy. Exactly. Just sack up and fuck your aunt and save millions of lives... You can flip out while you watch a city burn and be like, we shouldn't be doing this. Or you can just squeeze off a nut the night before.

Aggressive, large betting on Jeopardy is actually less risky than conservative play because it protects a lead.

I'm not sure this is correct, but the way I look at it is it's actually less risky to make big bets because if you think about it, if you have a big lead, you're pretty safe... if you don't have a big lead, the person who's behind you can hit a daily double... You need those big plays to win sometimes.

Mastery of the buzzer is 60% of the game on Jeopardy when playing against elite contestants.

The buzzer becomes the most important factor at that point. And I think that I would say the buzzer is maybe like 60 percent of the game. And then there's another 30 percent that's your trivia knowledge and 10 percent maybe is the strategies.

Game of Thrones should end in a way that makes the most fans angry.

I'm at the point where I'm now rooting for them to do whatever will make people the most angry... I just want them to do whatever. There's a lot of things people are excited for, and I want them to fuck it all up.

Jon Snow will die in the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones.

Well, here's my hot take preview. I think Jon Snow dies on Sunday.

Hollywood lacks real stories because it is run by third-generation nepotism

I think Hollywood just didn't see like they thought that they just like narrowed everybody's mind and cornered them and owned them so much and corporations that they had just owned them so much that they could do whatever they want with them... it's nepotism now. It's a lot of third generation. Nobody from the middle of America. Nobody has any stories.

Daenerys Targaryen is the worst dragon owner of all time

Daenerys is the worst leader of all time... she gets her fucking dragons killed every single turn. She's the worst dragon owner of all time. Honestly. Like, they would come and take those dragons away. Be like, you are not fit to own a dragon because everywhere you go, the dragon gets killed. fly them up in the stratosphere dude they can't hit them up there she's so stupid.

Sansa Stark is the biggest snitch in the Seven Kingdoms

Sansa's the biggest snitch of all time... Ned Stark kept that secret for his whole life. He basically died for that secret. Jon [Snow] went to his sisters... he made them swear. The second she got a chance she went running to Daenerys's hand [Tyrion].

The Dothraki are still alive in Game of Thrones because we didn't see them die

What if the Dothraki are all alive and they knew that it was a bad battle strategy... The one thing I know about Game of Thrones, as an expert who's watched the summary twice, if you don't see the person die, you can't be sure they're dead.

Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow will fight each other

Dany's the worst. I fucking hate her. Khaleesi sucks... She's going to fight Jon Snow... They are going to fight. Dany cannot take anyone else outshining her.

The Jeopardy buzzer is goosed to help James Holzhauer win

I think Jeopardy's probably goosing his buzzer speed because he's really, really quick on the thumb... I think the buzzer on the left is faster than the other ones because it's in the best interest of Jeopardy to have a dominant star. They need a king.

HBO failed the viewers by making the Battle of Winterfell too dark to see

I will stand and die on the hill that I still want to be able to watch the television show... I'm very happy that the White Walkers are dead because that was always my least favorite part of this show... I couldn't see shit. No, seriously. I could not see shit.

Kyler Murray is lying about The Great Gatsby being his favorite movie

I'm pretty sure Kyler Murray is the kind of guy that likes the Great Gatsby because he thinks Gatsby's cool as hell right? And he like throws these sick parties and he's just a boss. He does the Leo dance 15 years after it was cool... There was nothing cool about that book or that movie.

The Night King is bypassing the Battle of Winterfell to attack King's Landing

The most common theory that people sent us... is that the Night King is on his way to King's Landing, like pulling a little hezy hay. He's going to King's Landing while the rest of the army of the dead fight it out at Winterfell.

Bran Stark is an annoying character who ruins every scene he is in

Bran, I hope that fuck gets skull fucked in the middle of the field because he's so awkward. It's the guy in the wheelchair. I know Lieutenant Bran. He's so annoying. He ruins every scene.

The Game of Thrones series finale will end with everyone turning into happy zombies

Everything else is fine. All right. That's the M. Night Shyamalan twist... Everybody just turns into a zombie and they're happy forever. They can't go in water, so you at least have that.

Ant-Man will defeat Thanos by crawling up his butt and expanding

Either Ant-Man's going to crawl up in [Thanos's] butt and expand, like we said on the show, or he's going to get defeated using logic and reason by fact-checking super reporter Clark Kent.

Arya Stark will get pregnant and Gendry will die in Game of Thrones

Which probably means that Gendry's going to die, Arya's going to get pregnant. Because in this show, basically, if you have sex like that, you're pregnant.

Bran Stark will either kill someone or is the Night King

I'm still very woke on Bran. I think that Bran is either going to kill somebody... he's the Night King... he could be the Night King.

Led Zeppelin is the greatest stage band of all time

Band band, like get up there and kick ass on a stage, it's Led Zeppelin. It's not even close. They invented a different genre of music... It's because they're the greatest.

Jon Snow and Arya Stark will have sex and then one will kill the other

Jon Snow and Arya? They're brother or sister. So they'll probably fuck. Yeah, okay. Jon Snow and Arya. They're actually cousins. One of those two is going to kill the other one. He's going to have to kill the other one at the end. But after they fuck. They're definitely fucking.

The Hound is actually the Many-Faced God and will kill Arya Stark

I think the Hound is actually the many-faced god. He's gonna kill Arya and then rip his face off and be like haha got you bitch. Arya left him for dead and he did actually die and then they took his face.

The Hound will defeat The Mountain in Game of Thrones

Do you think he's going to fight the mountain? Yes... Who do you think is going to win? Hound.

Samwell Tarly will win the Iron Throne

I think Samwell Tarly is going to win the throne. They're going to do a 10-year show where it's like, hey, at the end of the day, nerds win.

Bran Stark will win the Iron Throne

I think Bran's going to win the throne. He's not a human anymore, though. He's a three-eyed raven. He'll fucking tell everyone about it.

Jimmy Kimmel is no longer a 'guy's guy' because he thinks 'One Shining Moment' is bad

That's when Jimmy stopped being a guy's guy. [When he said] that one shining moment lived out its one shining moment 15 years ago... that it's not cool anymore.

LeBron is struggling to find co-stars for Space Jam 2 because players don't want to deal with him

He's having a very hard time recruiting co-stars to join the movie... Giannis denied him said he doesn't he doesn't like being Hollywood... they're worried about if they go to the movie then they're gonna have to potentially play with him on his team.

Country Trap is back and here to stay

Country Trap is back and it's going to stay around for a while... All I'm saying is we talked about it on the show and now [Lil Nas X] is number one and number three on the charts.

The Undertaker is the most intimidating person in the world

Undertaker is the most intimidating person. There is nothing more intimidating. When he steps in that ring, it's just magical. He's literally a dead man walking.

The Motley Crue movie 'The Dirt' is ten times better than Bohemian Rhapsody

Motley Crue is also back... They put out a Netflix movie. I know Queen Bohemian Rhapsody won all the awards. This was like a 10 times better of a biopic movie. All sex, drugs, rock and roll.

Raphael is the best and only cool Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

I'm a Raphael. Raphael was the bad boy who April had a crush on... Raphael was the one who would always get them in trouble because he was such a badass. Raphael was the one, he was like the guy who kind of, the straw that stirred the drink.