Takes

Bryce Harper is right that players are willing to lose a whole season over a salary cap.

He's right-ish... [Manfred] is pitching the salary cap right to the players circumventing the MLBPA. And it's their job to hear from the owners and then take that to the rank and file players. And then Harper's like, 'If you're gonna say that, get the fuck out.' Bryce Harper is right. Bryce is right about this... He can afford to lose 162 games. The guys at the top can afford to lose 162 games.

The walk-off catcher's interference rule is a stupid rule

I mean there's no, there's not much Hot Seat. It's just a stupid rule... Lost on walk off catcher's interference. Second time it's ever happened in MLB history. First time since 1971. The problem was the catcher just stuck it... It was technically letter of the law catcher's interference.

I have no confidence in the Phillies right now

I, I, I'm, I'm tuned in. I watch every game. It's just, I, it's, I don't know. They're frustrating squad... Dude, I just don't have a lot of confidence in this, in this team right now.

The idea of the Ravens and Commanders sharing a stadium in Maryland is one of the dumbest ideas ever

Stephen A. Smith's idea was to build one stadium in Maryland and then have the Ravens and the commanders share it, which is maybe the dumbest thing that Stephen A. Smith has ever said... just maybe the dumbest idea ever.

If LeBron James wins a title in Cleveland this year, it doesn't count

If he does go to the Cavs and the Cavs win in an East that is beyond depleted this year, we need to just already say this. That doesn't count. The Pacers are out of it, the Bucks are probably out of it. Coward move if he wins a title with the Cavs.

High school football players should be paid

We've been complaining to the NCAA you gotta pay the players. We might have to just switch up to high school football now. You gotta pay the players. Pay these guys. Pay the high school players... babies should get paid.

Conor McGregor leaked his own nude photos on purpose

Conor McGregor, I'm starting to think he might not be a good guy... maybe he was trying to get his dick out. That was like, 'cause you can't leak it yourself. So he was just doing this on purpose to be like, I want to just let everyone know that there's my penis.

The Buccaneers' 1976 throwback uniforms are top-tier and should move them up the jersey rankings

Inside this box is an early look at the modern nod to the original 1976 jersey... That thing is awesome. Those are crispy. No, those are crispy. They look great. I mean, that's hot. I know you guys were ranking jerseys the other day, I mean this has to get—we gotta go up the ladder.

CONCACAF is rigged to ensure the United States doesn't win the Gold Cup

I join the chorus of those who were saying CONCACAF rigged. They don't want to see the United States win the Gold Cup. They'd much rather have it be Mexico.

The United States might actually just suck at soccer

So if [Pochettino] loses it's the, we might suck at soccer. Yeah, we might suck at soccer. Okay. I've been saying that.

Lamar Jackson is a dream rotation choice to smoke weed with

You gotta put Lamar [Jackson] in the top tier, right? For sure. Lamar is absolutely the top tier of that. A hundred percent.

The 'Micro Retirement' trend is just Gen Z trying to rebrand regular vacations

There's a new fad for Gen Zers. It is called Micro Retirements. They involve taking a one to two week break from work every 12 to 18 months. They're basically just stealing [vacations]. It's also not enough. No, it's not enough. It's not enough. But that's, but you can't let them steal the word vacation. They're trying to change it to micro retirements. Yeah. That makes no sense. Yeah, it's crazy. They're trying to rebrand it.

The evidence of Malik Beasley gambling on his own games is absurdly obvious

The videos that came out after the investigation came out were very bad to say the least. I don't know if it's one of those things where if you could do this for any player... but the videos that came out were absurdly obvious that he was probably gambling on games.

WNBA players being petty toward Caitlin Clark is actually good for sports

Of course they don't like her. She's better than them and she's more popular. Like of course they're petty about it. I think that's good for sports... Kaylyn Clark will have a longer career, better career, make more money. She's gonna win in the long run. It doesn't have to be like a World War II every single time there's a slight on Kaitlyn Clark.

Deshaun Watson mentoring Shedeur Sanders is like an old person getting a pet

Lucky for Shedeur Sanders, he found a mentor in Cleveland that's taking him quote under his wing. It is Deshaun Watson. Deshaun Watson has stepped up to show the young guy the ropes... I think this is maybe a situation like who saved who, like an old person getting a pet?

Joe Burrow's bad baseball throw was a paid viral moment

My spin zone is that Michael Rubin just paid off every single person that had anything to do with Fanatics Fest and... Joe Burrow, you're gonna throw a baseball poorly. I actually think that he probably bought viral moments. I actually think that he probably bought viral moments... It's titled Joe Burrow throws a baseball poorly and here's the offer sheet.

A touchdown scored by a 40-year-old player should count for an extra point

There should be a rule in like all sports if you like a a 40-year-old touchdown counts for an extra point. It's like, how are you still doing it?

Sports owners should be forced to sell if their team doesn't make the playoffs for five consecutive years

I think they should have a new rule in own, in, in all sports that if, what call it five years, if you don't make the playoffs in five years, automatic sale. Like whatever the threshold is, that would be awesome. 'cause relegation is never gonna come to American sports. But if you could relegate owners that would be sick.

LeBron James is a scumbag for opting into a $52 million contract instead of taking a team-friendly deal

[LeBron] opted in for $52 million. He's a billionaire. He might even be a piece of shit... he does not need, he's not even good enough for 52 million a year. He could have signed for 30... they could use the 20 million to actually make their team better. But he doesn't care about that because he's a selfish piece of shit.

It is understandable for a player with a $700 million contract to occasionally lack hustle to first base

If someone paid me $700 million to play baseball, I would sometimes not run to first base. 'cause I would probably just be distracted and be like, shit, why am I running to first base? I have $700 million. That was an out. ... It's human nature.

NFL players are arrogant to think they can easily dominate international flag football competition

It's so arrogant for NFL players to think that they can just go in and dominate [flag] football. ... I'm just imagining like a, a Croatian dude trying to grab the flag of Lamar Jackson. ... he would never be down.

The Phoenix Suns are returning to a state of institutional chaos under new ownership

Matt Ishbia bought the team. And guess what, they're back in it [chaos] because there's a lawsuit now out that sun, CEO Josh Bartelstein might have had an inappropriate relationship with Sophie Cunningham who played on the Phoenix Mercury. ... The suns are just back in it.

Tom Cruise used Top Gun: Maverick to make people forget about his Scientology controversies

Tom Cruise... Scientology thing is very weird... He just was like, yeah, I'm gonna put out a new Top Gun and everyone's gonna forget about that. ... It felt like the block was getting a little hot with the documentaries and everything. He's like, I know. Top Gun two. People won't care anymore.

Installing a soft serve ice cream machine in the office is a life-changing move

I reassessed my life and I realized that a life without constant access to soft serve ice cream is not a life I want to live anymore... I trade [shooting a diamond out of my dick] in a heartbeat. I mean a soft serve machine. It's like a, it's a gold mine. It's a dream of mine. It's the best. I love soft serve ice cream. It's so good. And it's good for you.

The NFL has ruined the schedule release by leaking too many individual games

I'm so sick of this fucking schedule release week. It sucks. It fucking sucks. Give me the whole schedule. Stop giving me a piece of a game here and there... They've completely ruined something that was kind of fun. And now it's just become, 'cause now I'm piecing it all together... Just gimme the whole schedule. They've completely ruined something that was kind of fun.

Caleb Williams being seen with supermodels makes him a QB1 over Jaden Daniels

Caleb Williams was in Miami and he got out of a car at a restaurant with three different like supermodels. Hell yeah. That's that's that's a QB one you want. Yeah. That's QB one actually. That's Aura. Not a helicopter mom. 24-year-old.

Jim Harbaugh is the perfect ambassador to convince 'football guys' to embrace analytics because he treats math as an objective truth.

Analytics because our friend Jim Harbaugh said on analytics, math tells the truth. Yeah. If Jim Harbaugh's big on analytics, like you can't, he's our shining beacon when it comes to football guy who also adopts analytics.

Being the partner of a massive celebrity like Sydney Sweeney is a 'down bad' situation in the short term but ultimately better for your long-term sanity.

So down bad right now. But yeah, I think long term would have, you'd have to be a very confident man to be able to deal with your fiance or wife having the entire internet be horny for her at all times. So... I think long term he's probably gonna be like, you know what? That was, that was gonna be tough.

Doc Rivers has won three games in a playoff series many times and doesn't get enough credit for it

When he [Doc Rivers] loses the three-one leads, he's won three games. That should be worth something. Like if you get up 28 to three against the Patriots of the Super Bowl, that should be worth something.

Sepp Blatter's acquittal proves FIFA is not a corrupt organization

Anyone that was pointing a finger at Sepp Blatter and saying that FIFA is corrupt... Guess what? You're wrong. He's been officially cleared. FIFA. It turns out, plot twist, not corrupt. Everything's above board in FIFA.

Aaron Rodgers is repeating the Brett Favre path exactly

Aaron Rodgers... it is Cats in the Cradle with Brett Favre. He's just learning everything from [him] and he hated Brett Favre for it too. It's perfect.

The Big 12 tournament court is the weirdest looking thing and it sucks to watch on TV.

The Big 12 because they're playing the tournament right now and their court is the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And the commissioner of the Big 12 said that it's actually a resounding success because so many people are talking about it. ... it looks like if you've ever put on a VR headset and asks you to scan the room to know where the walls in the floor are, that's what it looks like. ... I feel like if you're a player on the court, you probably don't mind it that much. But if you watch it on tv it sucks ass.

Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner will break up during March Madness because he'll be too focused on basketball.

Kylie's probably gonna break up with him during the tournament. He's gonna be like, sorry babe, I gotta watch, I gotta watch Ball. You understand?

Knowing ball is a powerful enough skill to change a nation's perception of even the world's worst people.

Timothy Chalamet's proof that you can change an entire nation's perception of you by knowing Ball. If Osama Bin Laden would've declared his love for Miami of Ohio's football program, we would've been like, you know, we can always just rebuild those towers. ... If Kim Jong-un got three picks right on college game day, I'm pretty sure we'd all just be like, that's just our culture.

Travis Hunter playing both ways is more impressive than Shohei Ohtani pitching and hitting

Travis Hunter at the combine said that him playing offense defense, it's harder than Shohei playing offense defense... Being a professional cornerback and a professional wide receiver at the same time playing in the same game... I think there's a better chance of another Shohei coming around than another Travis Hunter.

Pete Rose should be reinstated to MLB and the Hall of Fame because his 'lifetime' ban is technically over

It was a lifetime ban. Right. The operative word being life. Right. He's no longer alive. Right. He's dead. So the ban should have already been lifted.

Timothy Chalamet will be one of the greatest actors ever

He won a SAG award and then I, I just liked, I liked his speech... He kind of was just like, yeah, I wanna be one of the greats. I'm going hard.

Ryan Reynolds looks "scummy" and is the biggest loser in the Blake Lively movie drama

I think Ryan Reynolds is the biggest loser outta the whole thing... he's kind of looking a little scummy this whole thing. I haven't changed my opinion on him. I didn't have an opinion.

Being in a plane crash where no one dies is an awesome experience

Being in a plane crash where no one dies though. Rocks. ... I think it would've been awesome to be like, 'yeah, I was on a plane that flipped and blew up, but I survived.'

Caitlin Clark is paid what she is worth right now because she hasn't won a championship

I think that she's paid what she's worth right now. She gotta win the big one. ... She's never won a college national championship. Never won a WNBA national championship. ... Talk to me when she's got a chip. When she gets that ring.

The human body has a physical limit and the 100-meter dash world record will eventually plateau

At some point, I've always wondered this about a hundred meter dash, like when is it gonna be the fastest that you'll ever run? Because like the human body can only go so fast.

The era of working from home is over

Working from home's done. I'm gonna say he's right. ... I fundamentally, I understand working from home is awesome for a lot of people, but I do think that you lose... the younger generation is gonna lose out. ... Not working with other people and having the coalescence of ideas... you will lose out.

Dwight Howard isn't actually good at basketball anymore

Stephen A. Smith was making the case for Dwight Howard today coming back... I'm in support of that just because it would be very funny, but I don't think he's very good at basketball. [He's] one of those guys that looks in shape, but he probably doesn't have any of the skills that he once had.

Vanderbilt's constructive court-storming rule is lame

Did you guys see Vanderbilt's actually doing a new rule where they do a minute timeout after the game? So lame. They basically, if Vandy has a big upset at home, they pause everything for a minute... and then the kids are allowed to storm the court. It's Tim Wood's double consent.

The MLB must fire any umpire who shares a gambling account

The MLB had to fire a ref because he was umpire sharing — sorry, umpire. He was sharing a gambling account with another gambler who was gambling on baseball... even if the MLB was like, we don't even care about the whole betting part or the baseball thing, we can't have people employed by us who think it's okay to share a gambling account.

Kendrick Lamar vs Drake is the biggest blowout in subjective art history

That the Kendrick Drake thing turned into — obviously art is entirely in the eye of the beholder... but in this one thing where people can interpret it either any way they see fit, like this is as big of a blowout as you'll ever see. Ever.

The 'Underground Talent Railroad' transfer strategy is a genius college football idea

Let's create a network where we're all transparent with each other every fifth year. Each one of us can take its turn having the A team... PIT gets to have the 22 best players between the five programs... I don't hate it. I love it. I actually don't hate it at all. I love it.

Jimmy Butler is an absolute locker room cancer

I mean he's old and he's proven himself time and time again to just be an absolute locker room cancer can't even win.

The Warriors should have just resigned Klay Thompson and stayed old together

I don't even think like, this is why this revisionist history just fucking should have just resigned Klay and just gotten like, you have to pick a lane. Like just maybe just get old together. And just be like, all right. It was fun, but everyone got to stay together... if you know you're not gonna win again, just go nostalgia.

Sports should normalize a 24-hour window for sore losers to act out

I think we need to normalize more like bad losers. Like let 'em, let 'em be sore losers for a minute... I think we should have like a 24-hour hour shock clock for big games fans and, and players alike that anything they, they should be able to say whatever they want and it shouldn't count long term.