Takes

NBC will bring back 'Waiting All Day for Sunday Night' because of a lawsuit

They're being sued for using that song ['Oh, Sunday Night'] because it's too much of a ripoff of another song. I'm thinking they're going to bring back Waiting All Day for Sunday Night. I think they have to go back to the hits, right?

Cursive is an overrated and useless skill

Cursive is overrated. All of our eight-year-old listeners, cursive is [fucking]... You'll never need it again.

When you turn 30, you will realize you were an idiot in your 20s

The safest bet in the world is that when you turn 30, you're going to go – Can't believe I thought the way I did about everything. It's not like your political beliefs change or your morals change. It's just... another third of life experience makes you realize like all the shit that I thought was so important [isn't].

You are basically the same person from age 50 to 60

When you're 60, you don't look at a picture of yourself when you're 50 and you're like, oh, I was such a shithead. You're basically the same person at that point.

I made $125,000 selling custom software at age 27

I think when I was 27 I made a hundred and twenty five thousand... I was selling software, custom software in Austin, Texas.

Happiness must come from within rather than your paycheck

Your happiness has to come from within because if you do start comparing your success and your happiness to paychecks and you're like, I'm making less than my friend. He must be happier than me. That's not accurate. You could be happier making less.

Never skimp on items between you and the ground

I also subscribe to the theory of not skimping on things... That are in between you and the ground. So like tires and shoes and mattresses. And anything that separates you from the ground, don't be afraid to spend a little more on it.

90 minutes is the perfect length for a comedy movie

And it's only like, it's like 90 minutes, which is, I think a perfect comedy movie time. Because whenever they try to do like... a hundred minutes, you know, there's going to be 15 minutes where they're like, this just stretches on. Seeing under 100 minutes, I'm instantly more likely to click it.

The NBA Draft is the most anticlimactic show on television

Is there any more anticlimactic TV show than the NBA draft? ... You only have to tune in for the first five minutes of the NBA draft and then you're good to go.

The awarding of the World Cup to Qatar was definitely not above board

The former president of FIFA was arrested because it turns out the awarding of the World Cup to Qatar or Qatar may not have been above board. Oh, you think? No doy.

Brooks Koepka's main goal for 2019 is the Open Championship

He said to us that he's really focusing on the Open Championship this year, the British Open. That's the one he doesn't have. He really, really wants that one. He's already won two U.S. Opens.

Jim Nantz is the best broadcaster to ever call golf on television

I'd rather listen to [Jim Nantz] do golf than listen to myself do golf. ... I think he's the best to ever call golf on TV in my lifetime, or at least in my adulthood. And I wanted to hear him do golf at Pebble Beach. ... I'd rather fall asleep to him calling golf while I lay on the couch than anybody else.

I would support but not encourage my daughter if she wanted to box

I would not like my daughter to fight. ... I know I will never tell my kids not to. I am not encouraging them to, but at the same time, I will support them whatever they want to do, you know, in life, because you have to.

Kawhi Leonard is actually more fun than the internet portrays him

Let's be nice to Kawhi. I think Kawhi is more fun than we then the internet collectively has put on him. ... The brand is very strong. ... There's nothing he can do at this point to be like, oh, my God, Kawhi's coming out of his shell.

Injuries are part of the game and shouldn't lead to an asterisk for the Raptors' title

Being healthy is part of winning an NBA championship. And I hate when people do the asterisks. Being healthy is part of winning an NBA championship.

Sweden will be the toughest opponent in the USWNT World Cup group

Sweden, they actually usually... that's who knocked us out when we were in the Olympics. So I would say that they're gonna be they're probably gonna be the toughest one.

The NBA Finals series will go to a Game 7

I think it's going seven too... Yeah, but that's just because I'm doing the thing where I'm holding on with both hands to the hockey and to the NBA off the edge of the cliff.

Motherfucker is the most versatile word in the English language

My favorite curse word is probably motherfucker, yeah. Because I use it for a lot of different things... You can mother fuck somebody if you're mad. Or you can describe a person as, you know the motherfucker I'm talking about. Or you can say, oh man, that shit's a motherfucker, meaning it's really great shit.

Zdeno Chara is the sports respecter of journalism of the year for writing down answers with a broken jaw

Zdeno Chara has a broken jaw, he can't speak, and he still met with the press and answered questions by writing down his answers. Class act. ... The respecter of journalism of the year. Sports player who respects journalism the most of the year.

I am a 49ers and Michigan fan

Professional football teams would have to be the 49ers. ... I have to be the 49ers. I love Joe Montana. ... [College?] Go blue. Michigan.

Only 66% of first-round MLB draft picks will ever end up playing in the major leagues

Even for the first-rounders taken last night in Secaucus, only 66% of them will end up in the majors.

The St. Louis Blues will win the Stanley Cup in six games

My assumption is that [the St. Louis Blues] are going to get the job done. I picked Blues in six.

Klay Thompson's hamstring injury is a huge concern for the Warriors

Klay Thompson going out with the hamstring, which, by the way, that wasn't talked about after, but that's a huge, huge injury because he went out and he looked really pissed. Hamstrings are weird, man.

The NBA Finals between the Raptors and Warriors will go at least six games

I'm just excited that it's going to at least go five. And we at least push that bet, Hank, of how many more NBA games are there going to be. I think it will go six at least.

Opioids are far more addictive and dangerous than marijuana

For everyone out there, opioids are way, way more addictive and bad for you than marijuana.

Intermittent fasting is the easiest thing in the world

No, [intermittent fasting] is the easiest thing in the world... You just don't eat for longer in the morning and a little bit longer before bed... you have 12 hours that you should not eat throughout the day. During your nighttime sleep cycle, say you have your dinner and your dinner ends at 7 p.m., you should not have anything in your body except water.

If you can't chug a beer in the state of Wisconsin, you should be excommunicated

There's actually no state worse to be in and not be able to chug a beer than the state of Wisconsin. If you can't chug a beer in the state of Wisconsin, you've got to get out instantly.

Drake is a Canadian version of a trash-talker who waits to respond via subtle social media changes

That's the most Canadian response ever to a disc track is to just wait and then subtly change your social media. Yeah, take as much time as possible. That's as mean as they get in Canada.

Kawhi Leonard is such an efficient, robotic player that you don't even realize he has 35 points until the game is over

Kawhi [Leonard] is the fucking guy who... You can just watch a game and not realize that he's got 35 points. You know what I mean? Because it's so efficient and it's so robotic and steady throughout where it just happens.

In college basketball, you must 'plant a flag' and never lose games at home to build a real program

You just have to set that tone like you can't lose at home. If you're going to build a real program, you've got to plant a flag in your home arena.

Direct messages on Twitter or Instagram officially count as 'texting' for reporting purposes

A text is a tweet, a DM, an Instagram DM, an Instagram comment... Broussard did the classic thing where... he says that Kevin Durant and he exchanged many DMs... he's not having it [the debate if a DM is a text]. It's all just a text now.

Bartolo Colon is not a Hall of Famer despite his longevity and wins

Bartolo Colon is one of those guys that we should make a special rule where he should get to start one game for every single team for an entire season. ... Not a Hall of Famer, but a very good, memorable pitcher. He has more families than home runs. Four-time All-Star and a Cy Young in 2005. That's pretty damn good. Good job for you, Bartolo.

USA Rugby Sevens will be in striking distance of first place going into the Paris tournament

The point is that this is the penultimate. So it's the second to last tournament. If we're in striking range going into Paris. We already are. We're in first. Which is the last leg. I might pull a Hong Kong and just fly over to Paris. ... I'm going to say it right now. We'll be in fucking striking distance because I have faith in our boys.

Blake Bortles has the leadership and experience to not flinch in big-time games

Jared and [Bortles] have a great relationship and anytime that you can get a guy like Blake where when you meet him... he's one of those guys, he's got a great demeanor where you're like, you know, this guy feels like a quarterback, a leader. Then you hear him a couple days out here just the way he commands a huddle you can see why his teammates believe in him... [He] has been in those types of games, in those atmospheres where you know he's not going to flinch.

Zach Robinson is going to be a star on the coaching staff

We were able to get a guy on our staff in Zach Robinson, who he has some, you know, traits that remind you of both Matt [LaFleur] and Zac Taylor. And I think this guy's going to be a star. ... He studied as much film as anybody. When you ask, you know, he was putting in every coverage for all the past plays in the league every single week and did a good job for them.

I bet Hank eats at least 13 In-N-Out patties during Grit Week

The number of patties of In-N-Out that Hank eats this week, I'm putting at 12.5.

The Warriors-Trail Blazers series will go five games

The Warriors are currently, there's two minutes left in the game, and they're going to beat the Trailblazers by like 15... So this series is going to go five, like I said.

NCAA Football is the greatest video game of all time

NCAA video game is back. Well, maybe back. NCAA formed a committee to bring back the NCAA football game. And this is the greatest news I think that has ever happened in my life. Because that game is the best game ever.

Kawhi Leonard is a killer

Kawhi Leonard is a motherfuckin' killer. He is. He's a killer.

The Warriors will beat the Trail Blazers in five games

I'm going to say the Warriors in five. Warriors in five. I'm going to get the Blazers, too. We're a big Portland podcast. We love the city.

Mastery of the buzzer is 60% of the game on Jeopardy when playing against elite contestants.

The buzzer becomes the most important factor at that point. And I think that I would say the buzzer is maybe like 60 percent of the game. And then there's another 30 percent that's your trivia knowledge and 10 percent maybe is the strategies.

The Golden State Warriors will win the 2019 NBA Finals.

Well, I have to say the Warriors. But, you know, as a fan, I'm rooting against it. But, you know, they're obviously the best team, so boring answer, but there you go.

Nick Nurse is an awful name for a head coach

Nick Nurse is an awful name for a head coach. I stand by that take.

The Sixers will win Game 6 against the Raptors and force a Game 7

I think the Sixers probably will win game six, will go seven. But this is a beat. Whenever a team loses like this in a series, you're like, how the hell? I know we're just doing knee-jerk reactions, but how the hell are the Sixers going to come back from that.

Larry Fitzgerald is a 100% lock for the first-ballot Hall of Fame

There's never been more of a lock for Hall of Fame than Larry Fitzgerald. He will be 100% first vote.

I will never cord-cut because streaming sports is too unreliable

I have so many boxes... my cable bill is like probably $400 a month. I watched a bowl game with [a friend] two years ago... It buffered so many fucking times. I had money on the game, and I was sitting there like, what is happening right now? I could never cord cut.

The Rockets will win at least one game in Houston against the Warriors

Are we thinking sweep? No. No. No chance. They're going to take at least one. I just wanted to throw it out there. At least one in Houston.

The Warriors will win the 2019 NBA Finals

But the Warriors are going to win. I hate to say it. I'm rooting against them just for the narrative, as they say. But they are so good, you guys. They have three of the best shooters in a league that is obsessed with shooting.

The Celtics can beat the Bucks in the playoffs

I was wrong about the Celtics-Bucks series. I said there was no chance in hell that the Celtics make it a series. I'm going to jump off that take now... I'd like to say I think the Celtics can beat the Bucks.

The visiting clubhouse at Wrigley Field was extremely small and inconvenient

Same one. It's like this. Yeah, no. It's about this big. It really is like this wide... it wasn't just not good for the visiting team, the visiting clubhouse staff. Everybody that had to be in there, it was just making life difficult.