Takes

4th and 1 decisions are no longer hard in the NFL

It became obvious your team just gets ready to play fourth and two or fourth and one. So there's no like, it's not like, 'Hey, you really risked it there.' If you don't go for it on fourth and one, that's what everybody's doing. So to me, those aren't the hard decisions anymore. It's just become the norm.

Road House is the greatest movie ever

Road House, like you ever seen Road House? Greatest movie ever. All time. All time. There's so many good one-liners.

Moana is a legitimately incredible movie

That movie is awesome. I don't know if anyone's seen Moana with the Rock. It's a legitimately incredible movie. I'm at the point now where I'm like 'How about Moana?' and [my son's] like 'Nah, Mickey Mouse.'

Grapefruit-sized Joro spiders are going to invade the East Coast by flying in on parachutes

Grapefruit-sized spiders are going to be invading the East Coast flying in parachutes. They're called Joro spiders. And if you look it up on YouTube, there's a bunch of really funny redneck shooting them with guns. And it's very funny.

Russell Wilson's trade to the Broncos is a bigger story than Aaron Rodgers staying in Green Bay

I think Russell Wilson is the bigger story. Russell Wilson is definitely the bigger story because [Aaron] Rogers staying in at the Packers was kind of expected. Ish. Russell Wilson go to the Broncos is like, whoa.

The Broncos won the Russell Wilson trade because they finally got a franchise quarterback

I think that the Broncos won this trade because they've got a quarterback... I do like it for the Broncos though, honestly, if I, I do think that Russell Wilson is one of the quarterbacks that can take any team and turn them into like an instant contender.

The AFC West is the best division in football with the addition of Russell Wilson

I've seen more of people saying like, look how stack this division is. I agree. And Derek Carr is like, Def actually is probably the biggest God division and football right now.

The Broncos and Seahawks will combine for exactly three playoff appearances over the next five years

[Big Cat]: How many playoff appearances will the Broncos and the Seahawks have combined in the next five years? ... [PFT Commenter]: Make the playoffs three times, three times.

Aaron Rodgers' new contract with the Packers is a bust if he doesn't win three of the next four Super Bowls

I think that if Aaron Rogers doesn't win three out of the four next Superbowl's, this contract is kind of a bust. If it is, if it is 50 million, if he is the highest paid player in the history of the NFL... you would assume that the highest paid player ever would also be a player capable of leading you to dynasty.

The Packers will earn the #1 seed in the NFC at least twice in the next four years

The Packers are going to still get [them]. Packers are going to probably have, going back to the one seed conversation, they'll probably have the one seed at least two times in the next four years.

The NFL's TV audience would drop by half if all gambling and fantasy football were erased

If you took away gambling, if you made, if you had a button where all gambling, everything like illegal legal was just a race. No one could bet on anything. What do you think the NFL's TV audience would do? Half? Yeah, probably about half. It would be crazy.

Chet Holmgren should inherit the 'Slim Reaper' nickname since Kevin Durant has forfeited it

I think that Kevin Durant has forfeited the nickname, the Slim Reaper. I feel like [Chet Holmgren] is a Slim Reaper. Yeah. We're looking at Slim Reaper here... I feel like we need to repurpose the Slim Reaper nickname and give to Chet Holmgren.

Russell Westbrook's public complaints about the 'Westbrick' nickname will only make the taunting worse

I understand what [Westbrook] is saying, but you know what you shouldn't do is be like, 'Hey, this nickname everyone's given me, this taunt bothers me.' Cause that's going to get worse.

Jorge Masvidal should fight Conor McGregor next in a matchup of 'wash kings'

Jorge Masvidal, after his loss over the past weekend, has now opened up a chance that many are saying he should fight Conor McGregor next... That'd be a great fight for both of them to come back to. Wash kings, two strikers, just because they got out-wrestled in both their fights. So it would be a good fight.

Coach K is the best coach I ever played for across all levels

He's the best coach I ever played for high school. AAU college, six, six coaches in the pros, I think. Yeah, he was the best coach I played. He was the best coach I played for.

The five greatest current 'basketball geniuses' in the NBA are Draymond Green, Chris Paul, LeBron James, Rajon Rondo, and Ja Morant

I'll give you the top five, top five. Okay. So [Draymond], Chris [Paul], LeBron, Rajon Rondo. And I'm gonna, I'm going to go with the guy that Draymond mentioned on the pod and that's Ja Morant. I think Ja Morant's... already a basketball genius.

Kevin Durant is also a basketball genius because of his obsession with the game

Yeah, he is. He is. A lot of guys that are basketball geniuses... they are obsessed with basketball and they watch basketball... I think [Durant] out of anyone in the NBA right now, I think he loves basketball more than anyone.

The NBA Top 75 list should not have automatically included every player from the original Top 50

I wish the NBA had not included all 50 guys from the top 50 list... I do think there were more players over the last 25 years by criteria, certainly by criteria, that should have been on that list.

The Miami Heat are the best and most complete team in the Eastern Conference

I think the Miami Heat to me are the best team in the East... To me the most complete team to me, and again, this is health dependent... I think the Heat is the team to me, health aside where I'm like that team has the least amount of question marks.

Erik Spoelstra and Tyronn Lue are the two best coaches in the NBA

Erik Spoelstra is one of the two best coaches in the league, along with Tyronn Lue. Really. I liked their team [the Heat] a lot.

Ben Simmons is actually right-handed but shoots left-handed

I've told Ben that [he's right-handed]... he disagrees with me, but when I watch him, right. He does it with his right hand. If I asked him to throw, he would do it with his right hand... I think he's a right-hand person that shoots the basketball left-hand.

The Kings' trade for Domantas Sabonis will not 'move the needle' for the franchise

If you're the Kings and you're 22 and 41, trading Tyrese Haliburton for Domantas Sabonis is not going to move the needle one way or the other. It's not going to move the needle.

The Phoenix Suns will win the Western Conference

Who's winning the West... Phoenix. Phoenix is... Phoenix, Phoenix. There's I, there's more wild cards to me in the East and there aren't in the West.

In the NBA playoffs, the team with the best player in the series usually wins

In the NBA, it's who has the best player in the series, and that team has a great chance to win. It's that simple. It's who is the best player in the series and that team has a great chance to win.

Duke has a good chance to win the national championship in Coach K's final season

Their [Duke's] chances are good to be a regular season champion of a power conference... then you have a chance to win it all. I like their chances.

Alcohol is a diuretic because it flushes liquid out of your body faster than you can hydrate

Al calls a diuretic. And why it dehydrates you is because it flushes all the liquid in your body, out through your piss. So even though it may seem like it's hydrated... It gets all your liquid out faster.

Dinosaurs are evolutionarily closer to birds than they are to lizards

dinosaurs are closer to birds and lizards

Coach K would be on the hot seat and potentially fired this year if he wasn't already retiring

I'm putting Coach K on the hot seat right now because of that performance [losing to UNC]. I think he'd be fired at the end of this year, even if he didn't retire.

Coach K might coach the Lakers next year

Maybe a chance that [Coach K] goes and coaches the Lakers next year. Why not? LeBron needs a coach. LeBron basically went to Duke. LeBron did say he was his favorite coach he ever had.

Coach K’s legacy is shot because he lost his last game at Cameron Indoor to UNC

Give me your thoughts, so real on the game because you have to admit like [Coach K's] legacy is completely shot now. That's what everyone's going to remember about Coach K is [the loss].

The era of larger-than-life legendary college basketball coaches is dying

We're going to lose... an era because when Jim Boeheim goes out to pasture, Rick Pitino, who knows where he's going to go next, Cal... the era of these college coaches that are bigger than life, it feels like they're dying. The guys we have right now are not old school legends... they're not like these Titans that feel like hovering over it.

The Celtics are legitimate contenders to win the Eastern Conference

Celtics are back. They had some trouble early in the year... they have fully figured it out. Their defense is unbelievable. I think right now they're second in the league defensively. Beginning of the year, I didn't think that the Celtics had a shot to win the East. Now I do.

The Sixers will be favored in a playoff series against the Celtics

The Sixers will be favored in a playoff series, but it would be exciting cause... you versus Sixers would be all time.

Once you mentally transition into wearing shorts for the spring, you can never go back to pants

Once I mentally transitioned into shorts, I just don't go back. And so I'll get caught with like wearing these shorts when it's freezing outside, looking like a fool... but I can't go back and officially made the mental transition. I'm a short, skinny.

Malik Willis threw the ball 73.72 yards at the NFL Combine

Doing some Pythagoras theorem on Malik Willis' absolute gigantic throw. So he threw it 60 yards down the field. But if you [calculate] the hypotenuse of how actually far you threw in a straight line, it got out to 73.72.

Desmond Ridder has 'fuckable spirals'

Desmond Ridder has nice spiral, Cincinnati guy. He gives me Justin Herbert type vibes... fuckable spirals for fuckable spirals. If you see a spiral, you're like, damn that spiral sexy.

I became bigger than the 'Van Wilder' movie

When I was young, I was like, I want to be bigger than that movie. So like, I wanna, I w I don't want that movie to be who people think I am. And I think I've gotten bigger than the movie. And so now it's like, it's a nice song. It's like a nice subplot in my story.

Joe Rogan is not a racist

I know him to be a lot of things. A racist is not what he is. I can promise you that. He's a lot of things. Trust me. I don't, the guy's fucking flawed. Like all of us... My dad says, I'm very proud of the son I raised that you will be a loyal to a friend in a moment like this.

Loyalty to friends during a cancellation is more important than political agreement

I stand by my friends. My dad said, 'I'm very proud of the son I raised that you will be loyal to a friend in a moment like this.' That's all you want. Fuck all those negative comments. If your dad texts you... 'I'm proud I raised a son who stands by his friends.' That's all the fuck you want.

Overreacting to a child's mistakes teaches them to lie rather than grow

I realized I fucked up because what I did is I created a paradigm within which she was not allowed to grow and learn because she was going to fuck up again. But now she was so scared of watching me fly off the handle... that I taught her. The new thing is to lie. And it's taken me a year and a half to get to a place where now we're establishing an honesty where I go, 'Hey, you're gonna fuck up... but understand I'm not gonna lose my shit.'

People lie because they are afraid of the negative reaction to the truth

The thing I struggle with... people that lie a lot, they lie because of the reaction that they were getting, when they would get in trouble. It's like almost a defense mechanism. Right? I created a paradigm within which [my daughter] was not allowed to grow and learn because she was going to fuck up again. But now she was so scared of watching me fly off the handle... that I taught her. The new thing is to lie.

The Liver King is shorter because he didn't go through the agricultural revolution

He's come for short too... Well, you see, he didn't go through the agricultural revolution. So he was, he's still the size of the early ancestor, tall for his era. You didn't go to the agricultural revolution yet.

The NFL will move the Combine to LA just to make it shittier and more expensive

I'm going to miss Indy because... this is probably the last year that the combine is going to be in Indy because the NFL, anytime they have something nicer, like, well, how can I make this 50% shittier, but make more money doing it. So they're going to move it. People were speculating, maybe Dallas. I actually hope that they move it to LA because just to see the big Jay's just shit themselves.

I'm reporting that Aaron Rodgers is retiring (per my arch-nemesis Aaron Nagler)

My arch nemesis, Aaron Nagler... he actually told me breaking news that Aaron Rodgers is going to retire... he was actually crying when he told me it. I had to like console him. He cried on my shoulder.

Steakhouses in Indianapolis are engaged in a spicy cocktail sauce arms race

I noticed the shrimp cocktail sauce was spicier than normal. I think they're trying to compete with St. Elmo's. It's an arms race... St. Elmo's is going to eventually just burn your mouth off and be like, 'here's your bill'.

James Harden has finally figured it out and will have smooth sailing with the Sixers

I think that James Harden, he's really figured it out this time. I think he's going to be smooth sailing.

Never buy James Harden, always lease him on six-month rentals

Maybe that's the key to James Harden. You just need six month rentals where it's like, he's going to be in shape. He's going to be happy. He's going to try really hard. And you lease him. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Never, never buy James Harden always lease him.

Jim Boeheim is 100% coaching at Syracuse next year

I asked a quiz question to the, to, to everyone in the car... how many years do you think Jim Boeheim has been at Syracuse? ...He's been at Syracuse for 46 years and he's still not retiring... he's coaching next year. One a hundred percent. Yeah.

Kenny Pickett will successfully increase his hand size by a quarter inch through stretching

I'm very curious to know like how much bigger can one make their hands via stretching? I think I had a quarter inch probably. So he's up to like eight and a half now.

Kliff Kingsbury could have had the Oklahoma head coaching job if he wanted it

I get a call from somebody, not in the Kliff Kingsbury camp, connected to the [Sooners]... and they said, are you aware of the fact that Oklahoma is kind of after him? ...I made a couple more calls and found out that if he wanted that job, he could have it. Now. Now it was portrayed as I'm giving Kliff Kingsbury leverage. I could care less.