Takes

Kinnick Stadium at Iowa is the toughest place to play in the Big Ten.

I say say the toughest place in the Big Ten is Iowa. And the reason for that is their stands are about when they can actually reach over and hit the guy on the bench almost. And they're in those kids' ears now and they wear them out. And if you're not, you know, if you're not into the game where you let you have rabbit ears, they can really affect you.

Joe Thomas is the best player I have ever coached.

You know, probably Joe Thomas. Joe came in... very, very analytical, real smart player, very athletic. But he, he was the [best].

Officials changed how they called the game in the second half of the 2015 National Championship.

I'm pissed because the officials changed out. They called the game from first to second half... Coach K worked really hard... and they changed how they called the game and I will say that to my dying day.

If you are physically prepared and centered, there is no such thing as fear when surfing big waves.

If you're in the moment, really just enjoying the moment, doing our best in the moment, then there is no fear... As long as I prepare, and I know that I'm physically ready, then I'm not afraid at all.

A 120-foot wave is the upper limit for what can be surfed.

I think 120 [feet] would do it... I'm really interested and excited and can't wait... I don't know what it does once it gets that big and breaks further out.

Big Ben is going to play much better now that he is on the injury report

It's irrelevant to the fact that [Ben Roethlisberger] is going to play way better this week. And now that he's on the injury report... he needs to have some adversity.

There is no difference between Jameis Winston and Carson Wentz

What is the difference between Jameis [Winston] and Carson Wentz? There's not a lot at this point. They both are very, very funny when they're trying to make plays... Carson Wentz is like Elmer Fudd where he's kind of the butt of the joke. He's still like out there trying to make things happen, but six times a game, he fires a shotgun and it backfires into his face.

Aaron Rodgers' hair looks tacky and gross

I hate him. He looks tacky and gross with his hair. His hair looks terrible... this hair is gross. He looks gross. He's tacky.

Aaron Jones is the real star and most talented 'Aaron' on the Packers

I do want to give a shout out though, to Aaron Jones, the real star, the real talented Aaron on the Packers. This is Aaron's team guys. He scored three touchdowns yesterday.

Defensive backs should only be allowed to celebrate incomplete passes if they actually touch the ball

If you're a defensive back and a pass is thrown incomplete, you should not be allowed to celebrate that ever. Unless you touch the past the billboard rule... you're not allowed to do the incomplete sign. You're not allowed to get up in the receiver's face. If he drops a pass or it's overthrown, you're not allowed to celebrate that.

The traditional NFL broadcast is still better than the Manningcast for watching an entire game

My only thing is that it's good, but I feel like the regular broadcast is still better. Like when I'm watching the Manning broadcast, it just doesn't feel like a big game. It's casual and it's good, but watching an entire game, I keep switching back to the regular broadcast.

If the College Football Playoff started today, my final four would be Georgia, Alabama, Oregon, and Penn State

If they started the college football playoff today, my final four would be Georgia and Bama, which obviously not new colors, but Oregon and Penn state new colors. And that's our color update.

Oklahoma is a big time fraud

I do think that Oklahoma's big time fraud. Yeah. Big time fraud. They, they just, they don't look good at all. Like Spencer Rattler was, he's got the name. I thought he was going to be great. Mostly just because of the name... but he hasn't looked great.

An NFL team will draft Bo Nix in the second round

I'm also starting to buy back in on the fact that some team is going to draft Bo Nix in the second round. It's going to happen... and it's going to be terrible.

Notre Dame is not a good football team and they will lose to either Wisconsin or Cincinnati

You don't think Notre Dame is good? I think Notre Dame might be... They barely beat Toledo... Notre Dame will loose either Wisconsin or Cincinnati. Hopefully Wisconsin.

Ben Simmons is now the most hated person in the history of Philadelphia sports

Ben Simmons is now public enemy number one... he will be the most hated person. I can't think of anyone else who was really like, just fuck the city of Philadelphia. And then it was just like, I hate them.

Davis Mills is going to be a good NFL quarterback because he was the number one recruit in his high school class

It's smells mafia time... It's going to be Davis Mills... He was the number one recruit at a high school in his class. Number one guy that doesn't go away... that's the most important thing that we can know about Millie football.

If you haven't been to the dentist in over three years, just never go again

Anyone who has not been there for more than three years, just never go again ever... she was the dental hygienist was just ripping up my mouth, blood everywhere. And she was like, if you did, if you came in every six months, none of this would have happened. And I was like, well, what if I just never came in again? None of this would've happened... I would recommend it to all of you... It is absolutely the worst.

Matt Nagy is now a full-blown clown car

Matt Nagy, because I think actually now he's full clown car... afterwards he left his press conference. He finished his press conference. He sent someone from Bears PR back out to tell the reporters, Andy Dalton is the team starting quarterback. When he is healthy... so now it's just, now he's a clown car.

Mickey Sudo might beat Joey Chestnut in the next Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest

Mickey Sudo only ate 45 hot dogs for the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. So she was able to eat way more bratwurst, even though they're bigger... if these trends are correct, Joey Chestnut might get knocked off this next hot dog eating contest. I'm just saying by a woman.

Despite the field and the timing, my win at the Fortinet Championship counts as a real golf tournament win

Even if we had to do it in the background, not on TV, I'm going to count it as a real, a real golf tournament. Number one player in the world [Jon Rahm] played. So how can you do better than that?

Max Homa must make a Sunday cut in a Major to be seen as more than a Twitter personality

I think the answer is actually the same. It's you gotta be like competitive on a Sunday in a Major and then it goes away... you need to be in the mix on, you know, a Sunday in Augusta.

Arkansas is the greatest university in the entire country

I know people think I'm crazy when I say, I think this is the greatest university in the country. I, I do. I mean, that's my opinion. I can have it. And, and that's what I believe. And I want people around me believe the same thing.

I can successfully pee off a moving bicycle without getting off

I peed off the bike... I would be pedaling and I was leaned over. I could absolutely do it right now. Get me a bike, Jake... I will prove it.

A scientific study proves that squirting is actually just pee

There was a study done on squirting where they hook an MRI machine up to someone's bladder... and the bladder's empty. Wait. So it's piss. It came from the bladder.

Zach Wilson has a 'laser arm' and his high throw velocity is a sign of potential success

Zach Wilson also had the fastest throw this week... laser arm. Yeah. Set it. Keep that in mind. That's good. In the first two weeks he had a 59.99 mile per hour pass.

Zach Wilson will eventually be out of the NFL and working at Barstool Sports

Zach Wilson is going to be a very funny thing that happens to this podcast. As you attempt to find a way to spin this... he will end up on this podcast when he's out of the league... and then we're like, oh man, like, he's going to get a job at Barstool in a couple of years when he's had a leak, it's going to be Billy and Zach.

Nick Sirianni will be lucky to last four seasons in Philadelphia

Nick Sirianni will be lucky to last four seasons in Philadelphia. Pop quiz. What was the silver lining for the Eagles? That would be [DeVonta Smith], your receiver who had 117 yards?

John Harbaugh was right to go for it on fourth down to end the game against the Chiefs

John Harbaugh with his big old balls. I love, love, love that he was like looked at Lamar Jackson was like, do you want to go? You want to go for this on fourth and one to end this game, let's fucking do it the right. Even if they hadn't gotten it, I still think it's the right call because you can't give the ball back to Patrick Mahomes.

Roger Goodell will eventually revoke the new taunting rules and take credit for it

I personally can't wait for Roger Goodell to step in and say, guess what? I'm revoking the new taunting penalties. And then we'll all have to give him a round of applause for doing the right thing and limiting the rule that he brought in that completely screws the game over.

Davis Mills is the next star rookie quarterback in the lineage of Josh Allen, Baker Mayfield, and Justin Herbert

As far as the night is [Davis Mills]. The next up in the line of the good luck Chuck quarterbacks, the, the Josh Allen, the Baker Mayfield and the Justin Herbert.

Kevin Stefanski is already a top 3 head coach in the NFL

I'm very much looking forward to watching the Browns progressive this season, because I think it's [Stefanski] is a really good head coach. I think he's like top three in the league.

I bet my pinky the Indianapolis Colts will not win the Super Bowl

The Indianapolis Colts will not win the Super bowl. And if they do, I'll cut off the tip of my pinky.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT because he could pull off a Hitler mustache without criticism

That also proves why he's the GOAT because he could do a Hitler mustache and still survive. No one says anything. Imagine LeBron does that. We wouldn't let them off the hook.

Being called a 'game manager' is a compliment for Mac Jones

Mac Jones, is he the first ever guy that you can say, he's a game manager, but it's a compliment? He's working his way into game shape... I think that's actually a compliment to be like, he's a game manager right now... Doing enough to win football games.

The Jets will beat the Patriots in the playoffs this year

I have a sick feeling that the Patriots are beaten by the jets in the playoffs... this year.

If you wear a Zoot suit before a game, you must win or cover the spread at a bare minimum

When you wear the Jim Carrey mask suit... better known as... the somebody suck me, Dave suit. Before a game, you got to win the game at bare minimum. You have to cover the spread. You can't show up in the somebody sucked me suit and not win.

Derek Carr has quietly become a good quarterback

Derek Carr has 817 passing yards through two games. I think Derek Carr might be good now. I think, I think he's, I think he quietly became a good quarterback.

The Panthers might be a playoff team and I'm putting them in the 'frisky' category

The Panthers... I'll put them under frisky right now, but I got my eye on them because they might be good. We could be sitting here in week eight talking about a six and two Panthers team.

Drew Brees is relieved Jameis Winston struggled in Week 2 so he doesn't look like he was holding the Saints back

Do you think that there's like when Drew Brees is on Sunday night football tonight... he's relieved that Jameis [Winston] didn't go out there and throw five touchdowns again? Because at that point it becomes, wow, Drew Brees was really, really holding the team back last year. I think he's rooting for the saints to do well... but not too well.

Urban Meyer will leave Jacksonville to take the USC head coaching job in a few weeks

Urban Meyer afterwards released a statement... And it might not be me because I'm going to take the USC job in a few weeks. But the rest of this group, they're going to get this thing flipped.

Trevor Lawrence is officially a bust right now

Not sold on Trevor Lawrence, but I'm still saying bust right now. He's playing like a bus driver. Lawrence is a bust.

Arthur Smith cannot be a successful coach because he has no chin

I don't know if you can win football games with no chin. I would be looking at him if he tried to coach me up, I'd be like, dude, you gotta no chin.

Tony Pollard has 'young legs' and is better than Ezekiel Elliott

Tony Pollard has got young legs. Ezekiel Elliott lost all that weight, looks slower than he did before. Pollard's got young legs. I think that's officially his backfield.

Rutgers football is officially back

Rutgers football's back... back all the way. Greg Schiano, they've got a big test against Michigan this week. Birthplace of college football.

Michael Bradley only plays for the USMNT because his dad was the coach

The fucking coach's son that just keeps getting [minutes]... He's a guy who gets to play on the US team because his dad was a coach.

Taylor Heinicke has 'it'

I think Taylor Heinicke has it. I don't know what it is. He's got something. He's got it. The Heineking is what they're calling him.

Standalone primetime NFL games that look bad on paper are almost always guaranteed to be awesome

If anything we've learned with the NFL... when you have a game that you say to yourself, this game stinks, it's a standalone primetime game. It is almost always guaranteed to be fucking awesome. Because that game ruled. It was chaos.

Daniel Jones is the fastest player in the NFL

He's the fastest player in the NFL that's what next gen stats taught us last year he was faster than Lamar Jackson

Saquon Barkley might not be good anymore because he lacks vision

I just want to shout out real quick because I had a take today that Saquon Barkley... Maybe is he not good? I don't know. But he's been injured... you watch him play, and there are times you're like, wait, what is he looking at? [He] doesn't see the hole that well.