Takes

The Eagles are being slept on and will likely win 11 games because no one expected it

I just think the Eagles have been slept on a little bit. I think their offensive line and defensive line are very good. And we went kind of deciding how the NFC East was going to go. Wouldn't it be perfect for the NFC East if the team that was least talked about going into the season? That's what always happens. All right, yeah, so they'll probably go 11-6 somehow.

The Texans +12.5 is far too many points for an NFL game coming off a win

The Texans... Plus 12 and a half. That's a lot of points in the NFL, especially in week two, especially coming off a win. Too many points. You can feel safe walking in anywhere between now and Sunday being like too many points. So many points. Too many points.

The Jets will upset the Patriots in Week 2

Jets are going to win. It's going to be upset. [Zach Wilson] is a guy who can beat the Patriots.

The Chiefs own the Ravens and it is a mistake to overthink it

The Chiefs own the Ravens. The Ravens know that the Chiefs own them. They've said it like out loud. Lamar Jackson has even said it. I think it's don't overthink it, Chiefs.

The Nicki Minaj 'swollen balls' story is a Joe Biden psyop

I actually think this might be a psyop. This might be a story planted by Joe Biden himself to make people want to get the vaccine. Because knowing guys, as I do, if you hear that there's medicine out there that makes your balls huge, there's going to be some dudes that are going to be like, you know what? I could use a little bit of inflation.

Max Verstappen was at fault for the crash with Lewis Hamilton at Monza

Max's car is literally on Lewis's head, and he just walked away... I said Max is a jerk... Max obviously drives to the edge... I would say my rule of thumb is nine times out of 10. If you drive over another guy's head, it's probably your fault.

I set the fastest lap on the final lap at Monza just to prove I can handle the pressure

Putting in the fastest lap of the race on the last lap when the victory's in my hands, that for me was like a little like, just to say, like, guys, I did not feel the pressure this whole time. Just for my peace of mind, I'm going to set the fastest lap to say I told you so.

Saltwater crocodiles are the most fearsome predators in the wild

Probably a saltwater crocodile. Don't mess with the salties... I put them as number one in terms of fearsome predator been around since the dinosaurs for a reason... you're in the water with a salty you're in trouble.

Having the name 'Bear' played a significant part in my success

I think it plays a part. I actually used to, I used to hate it when I was a kid. I used to think, Oh, why can't I have a normal name? but I look, you're right. I look back now and I think, you know, it kind of works.

To make wild food taste good, just burn the hell out of it

The magic ingredient is burn the hell out of it. You just got to burn the hell out of it... whatever it is, just burn the hell out of it. And it's OK. It kind of baked all that fluid out... just like a burnt sausage.

Wet and cold is the worst environmental combination for survival

The worst is wet and cold. Because you can be super cold in the Arctic, but if it's dry, as long as you're dry, you can deal with that sort of dry cold. The extreme heat is really hard. But the real killer is the wet and the cold.

Lamar Jackson is not secure with the ball when getting hit

There is something about Lamar Jackson... when he's getting hit, he's not the most secure guy with the ball.

The Raiders' offense consists of Derek Carr force-feeding Darren Waller regardless of the situation

The offense was essentially Derek Carr trying to throw it into [Darren] Waller no matter what the situation a hundred times a game and just be like, all right, well, let's run this play. If anyone else is open, it doesn't matter. I'm going to Waller.

Peyton Manning would be a fantastic booth announcer if he committed to the travel

I do think Peyton Manning would be fantastic if he ever decided to actually commit to this and go into the booth.

The idea of huge halftime adjustments is a media-fabricated myth

The idea that there's this big revelation and we change everything at halftime is just completely media fabricated. [Peyton Manning] is like, yeah, the players, by the time we get a drink of water, we're already going back out.

You have to be physically attractive to succeed as the head coach at USC

USC is definitely one of those jobs that... you have to be hot. That's what it really comes down to. You have to be relatively hot for a football coach... You just have to have that hotness about you.

Urban Meyer will leave the Jaguars for USC if they start 2-7

If the Jaguars start – I'll even say if they start – 2-7, there's like a 50% chance that Urban Meyer leaves for USC. If it's like 0-6, yeah, I think it's pretty likely.

Ohio State will lose four games this season

I wouldn't be surprised if [Ohio State] lose four games. Four games.

USC is a top three job in college football

I think USC is a top job. Top three job maybe.

Wisconsin will make it to the Big Ten championship game

I do think Wisconsin, after watching Notre Dame play Toledo, I think Wisconsin might be back... It would be so incredible if it was Ohio State versus Wisconsin in the Big Ten championship game.

Mitch Trubisky is better than Taylor Heinicke

I wouldn't hate Mitch Trubisky on the football team... He's better than Taylor Heinicke... He absolutely is.

Matt Nagy has lost credibility with the Bears locker room by benching Justin Fields

I do think that we're getting close to the point where Matt Nagy is going to lose credibility with his team if he doesn't play Justin Fields. He's already lost it.

The 2003-04 Pistons would have won the title even more easily if they had drafted me

I actually thought I was going to Detroit, man. And that was a loaded team. I just knew I was going to Detroit... They were a great team. And [I] would have complimented them perfectly because they were winning a title scoring 80 points. Could have used a guy like [me].

Internal friction between players can ruin a team's championship chances regardless of talent

If you don't have chemistry with your teammates or on the team, I don't care how good you are, you're not going to win... If the point guard beefed with the big, that put the ring in jeopardy. And that's a true statement.

Anthony Davis can be Robin, but LeBron James can only be Batman

I think AD can be Robin... LeBron could try to be Robin, but that ain't who he is. He is Batman. You know, he Bruce Wayne. AD can be Robin. He can switch it up.

The United States is still the best in the world at basketball

I knew we was going to win. We're the best in the world. I don't care what nobody say... They're only catching up to us because they're learning from us.

It is now impossible for a single star to win an NBA title alone

Now it's like you try to do that now your ass would be out the league. Because it's impossible for anybody to do that... I don't want to say it's sad, but it is sad. Because it's impossible for you to try to go do it by yourself.

Damian Lillard needs to leave Portland if he wants to win an NBA ring

I understand what's going on with [Damian Lillard] and how he's thinking. Now, we all have these man-to-man conversations, and I tell them, look... whatever you feel like will get you to that, to a ring, then you have to make that happen. And it's not about being disrespectful... you handle your business and you go from there. And if it don't work, it don't work.

The Bears are a bad football team and Matt Nagy is a terrible coach

The Bears suck, man. They really suck. And I don't want to just sit here and just be like, man, they suck. And I hate Matt Nagy because I think people are probably just sick of hearing that. But I really don't have much more to say besides the Bears aren't good. And Matt Nagy, I fucking hate you.

The Rams look like they could win the Super Bowl

The Rams look like they could win the Super Bowl based off of tonight. Well, Rams look pretty good. It was very refreshing to see Matt Stafford play on a competent team for a change.

Jalen Hurts might be the franchise guy for the Eagles

Jalen Hurts. Might be the guy. And so week one is a big like, oh, we probably should have paid attention to this a little more. So I'm a believer in Jalen Hurts now.

I officially feel bad for Matt Ryan

I want it on the record, I officially feel bad for Matt Ryan. I feel bad for Matt Ryan, especially after watching what Matt Stafford got. Matt Stafford is like the middle-aged puppy that got adopted. Matt Ryan is a slightly older dog and no one's adopting him. And he's stuck there.

Whenever Mike Tomlin is an underdog, you must auto-bet on him

Remind me, I let my bias get the best of me, obviously, because I do want the Bills to do well, but remind me that any time Mike Tomlin's ever an underdog, we just need to auto-bet him because he is – that's just what he does.

Kirk Cousins is officially a 'bad asset' for the Vikings because of his contract

He's officially bad. He's taking resources from everyone else. He's breathing our air. He's a bad asset. It's tough to have everything right around him when he's taking up such a huge percentage of the [cap].

Kyler Murray is the most 'video game' player since Michael Vick

I think Kyler Murray is the most real-life video game character since Michael Vick. When you watch him run around, it looks like if you had just created a player in a video game and made him 99 speed. It's not even running forward, it's just spinning and running backwards.

I am officially 'cured' of believing Carson Wentz can be good

Thankfully, I am finally cured of my 'Carson Wentz might still be good' disease. So I'm done with that, which is nice because it did cost me a lot of money last year. I just woke up one day and I was like, he sucks.

The Chargers will win the AFC West this year

Also the chargers. I have them winning that division. I have the chargers as one of my best teams in the NFL this year.

Trevor Lawrence is officially a bust

I have one note for that game. Trevor Lawrence, all capitals, bust. I'm more of the mindset that it's fun to say that Trevor Lawrence is a bust.

Urban Meyer is going to ruin Trevor Lawrence

I'm in the camp of the Jaguars are going to ruin Trevor Lawrence and it starts with Urban Meyer. This Urban Meyer thing. They looked undisciplined. We've heard the reports that people are like, yeah, it kind of sucks to have to play for a guy like Urban Meyer in pro.

Odell Beckham Jr. is 'addition by subtraction' for the Cleveland Browns

I also think that there is some truth to Odell Beckham being addition by subtraction. 100% true. The Browns looked awesome today, with the exception of that fumble.

I do not believe in Tua Tagovailoa as a franchise quarterback

I'm still not a believer in Tua. He's like a basketball player. Make him go right. I thought he looked okay today, but that pick was an inexcusable pick that you can't have. It's not like he's a rookie anymore.

Mac Jones will conservatively win three Super Bowls

Conservatively, three. Three plus, though, is probably what I would expect. Dynasty officially back on? Yeah. Well, you've got to win the first one.

I am officially giving up on Daniel Jones ever being a good quarterback

I'm officially giving up on Daniel Jones. I am ridding myself of ever thinking he's going to be good. At some point, you are what you are. And that fumble that he had... I just think he just will never not fumble.

Aaron Rodgers is 'mentally retired' and checked out of the Packers

I think he's still playing, but he's technically retired mentally. He's checked out. I would say retired. Aaron Rodgers has mentally retired from the Green Bay Packers. I saw it with my own two eyes. No chance does this come back and haunt me, this clip.

Ryan Tannehill is entering a regression year and will be a bad quarterback

Is this a regression year for Ryan Tannehill? Uh-oh. I've been very wrong about Ryan Tannehill for the last two years. I am. But if I keep saying it, I'll eventually be right.

Dak Prescott is officially back and might not have been as injured as reported

Dak, I think, is back. I'm actually starting to think that maybe he wasn't as hurt as Jerry [Jones] was letting us know that he was.

Tom Brady will play for at least another three years

If you had to bet and you're like, all right, he's going to play for another three years, I wouldn't bet against that. It's crazy. It defies everything.

I will bet heavy on the Chargers this year to hedge against my own Washington expectations

I'm going to bet heavy on the Chargers. ... Because I regrettably have expectations for the Washington football team. But I'm going to bet against them because I've made the decision in my brain of how many dollars I'm willing to pay for a win.

The Seahawks are frauds this year

Seahawks, they might get my fraud stamp. ... My way too early fraud stamp goes to Seattle.

The Eagles will be in contention for the NFC East in mid-November

I feel like that's where they're going to be, I don't know, somewhere in that 7-10. 7-9-1 area where there will be a moment where they're competing for the NFC East sometime in mid-November.