Takes

New Era intentionally released bad MLB hats to create FOMO and buzz for future drops

I bet you New Era did this intentionally, pulled them off the market fast. They were trending. Because the next time they drop a hat, everyone's going to buy it immediately. Because they'll be like, this might only be up for a half hour.

No quarterback wearing a visor will ever win a Super Bowl

We know that a visor quarterback will not win a Super Bowl... No visor quarterback has ever won a Super Bowl, just a heads up.

Guy Fieri's $80 million contract extension with the Food Network is a total bargain

Guy Fieri... signed a three-year, $80 million contract extension. It's a bargain. If you're the Food Network, you've got to have your guy. You've got to have a star.

Aaron Rodgers has benefited from the Packers' organizational culture he now claims to hate

Aaron Rodgers has benefited from the Packers' organizational culture... that's why they have had success is because they are an organization that is always looking forward... the best time to get a quarterback is when you don't need one. That's what they did. So Aaron Rodgers has benefited... but now he doesn't like it.

Treating Aaron Rodgers like dirt would actually make him more likely to return to the Packers

You've got to treat Aaron Rodgers a little bit like dirt, and he'll stick to you like mud. I think he's being pushed away from all the over-the-top love that they've been demonstrating to him recently. I actually think that it would make it more likely for Aaron Rodgers to come back to the team [if they move on].

A 600-foot cheesesteak made of individual subs is a total fraud

It's a bunch of regular cheesesteaks, footlong cheesesteaks stacked up next to each other. It's ridiculous to say... If you make a 600-foot... it has to be connected.

The Lakers will bounce back and win the Western Conference

The Lakers, unfortunately, are going through their struggles. But I think they'll bounce back tonight. I'm expecting them to come out the West.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT over LeBron because he has no skill deficiencies

MJ always is going to be there at the forefront... MJ is my guy... for me, [LeBron] can't, it's the skill set. And it's the skill set that separates them from me. And MJ has no deficiencies when it comes to the game of basketball on both ends of the floor.

The Milwaukee Bucks will win the 2021 NBA Championship

I'm going to go with – I know this is going to be crazy... I got Milwaukee in the finals for me... And then at the end, said and done, Milwaukee's walking away with it.

Kevin Owens might not have had a WWE career without my success

I think I opened the door for unlikely builds to get a better look at WWE. You know, a guy like Kevin Owens may not have gotten that look had it not been for the success that I had.

Watching sports all weekend on the couch is as physically and mentally taxing as completing an Ironman

I would put up a guy sitting on a couch and watching an entire slate of college football on Saturday and an entire slate of NFL football on Sunday... I would put that up there with the Iron Man. I really would. Obviously not physically as taxing, but mentally far more taxing.

Phil Mickelson's victory is the 'Burning Man for Gen Xers'

Standing next to Phil Mickelson, like what you saw in the 18th hole, that's Burning Man for Gen Xers. That's as close as they'll get to taking drugs and going to a music festival and discovering their inner selves for three days.

Brooks Koepka would have won the PGA Championship by 15 strokes if his knee was healthy

[Brooks Koepka's] knee is hurting him, and he wasn't able to get all the way low to read putts, and the putter is what kind of killed him today and this weekend. So Ipso facto, he probably would have won this tournament by 15 strokes if his knee was okay.

The Celtics vs. Nets series is basically over after Game 1

Obviously, the Celtics lost. That first half, though. They had a great first half. They had a chance. Kemba Walker played terribly in the second half, and the series is basically over. Sweep. Maybe gentlemen's sweep.

James Harden is the 'straw that stirs the drink' for the Nets

He's [James Harden] the guy who keeps it going because when he was out, they were a different team. He's a straw that stirs the drink.

The Heat vs. Bucks series is going seven games

The Heat, Bucks, I think that's going seven. Giannis [free throws]... Well, not in 10 seconds.

Ben Simmons is the greatest basketball player who cannot score of all time

He went six points, 15 rebounds, 15 assists. He might be the greatest basketball player who cannot score of all time. He's broken the game. He can't score. You would think that it would be impossible for a guy that is bad at shooting to be an elite basketball player. But he's somehow figured out a way to be insanely good at basketball while also not scoring points.

The Lakers money line in Game 2 against the Suns is the lock of my lifetime

I responsibly, 1-800-GAMBLER, if you have a problem, I think the Lakers game two is the lock of my lifetime. I think LeBron will answer. And AD, like we said, he forgets that he's a seven-footer. He thinks he's a mouse. He's an elephant. The Lakers will be fine in this series, and LeBron will start dominating, and it will all be for naught.

The Suns will win their first-round series against the Lakers

I disagree with you. I think the Suns are going to win. I think they're going to win the series. I've just been down this path too many times. It's just too many times for LeBron to give up game one and to be like, oh, there it is.

The epitome of Knicks basketball being 'back' is a star player ripping their souls out at the Mecca

Isn't the epitome of Knicks basketball being back is to have an awesome player go to the Mecca and just rip the soul out of all Knicks fans? That's kind of Knicks basketball, at least since I've been alive. That actually should feel really back.

The Knicks will win their first-round series against the Hawks

I do think the Knicks are going to win this series. I do think they'll make adjustments. And I love that the Mecca leads the league in dudes rocking jerseys with nothing underneath. It's fucking awesome.

John Tavares will be out for the remainder of the NHL playoffs

And also that John Tavares got hurt and is probably out. Do you think he's out for the playoffs? I would assume. I don't know.

The 'Vegas Flu' is real during the regular season but players lock it in for the playoffs

Vegas flu is real during the regular season. ... No, playoff times, you guys lock it in. You're an absolute degenerate if you're chasing it in playoffs. I think there's enough times during the regular season where you can kind of unload.

The Stanley Cup Final will be the Colorado Avalanche vs. the Tampa Bay Lightning

I would say Colorado, Tampa in the finals. So Tampa will be going for it back to back. ... I would say Colorado, Tampa, and that would be good for hockey. Two Southern markets in the United States thriving.

Colorado is a Southern team because it is south of the Canadian border

Based on the North American scale, Colorado is considered Southern. No, he's saying in the middle of the country, not North America. You're saying North America? I meant all the teams in play, they're one of the southern teams. Anything south of the Canadian border is southern.

Jake Marsh is the most accidental alpha I have ever seen

Jake Marsh is the most accidental alpha I have ever seen in my entire life. That's what makes Jake the true alpha is because none of this is intentional. It's all natural to him.

It should be easier to hit a shot if you are seeing three hoops like LeBron James claimed

Actually, if we're actually going into LeBron's brain and seeing through his eyes, shouldn't that make it easier to hit the shot if there are three hoops? It should have counted. he said he shot at the one in the middle. It went in the one in the middle.

LeBron James drinking with Drake before the Warriors game proves the NBA play-in doesn't really matter

I think LeBron [James] drinking the night before with Drake proved my point that that game didn't really matter. Because there's no way if that was a real playoff game, elimination game, he's going to be out drinking with Drake tonight.

The Lakers will repeat as NBA Champions

I think, unfortunately, the Lakers are going to repeat. what you saw in the second half when he's – even though he's never going to be 100% again, [LeBron] just decides, like, oh, yeah, I remember I'm LeBron and I can go to the rim whenever I want and I can dominate this game.

The Celtics would beat the 76ers if they matched up in the 2021 playoffs

If we were playing the Sixers, we'd beat them. I'll say that right now. If we were playing the Sixers, we'd beat them.

The NBA Play-In should only be a one-game sudden death between the 8 and 9 seeds

I just think that do 8-9. I'm cool with 8-9. I think the 7-10 thing is stupid. 8-9 sun death. One game. Yes, exactly. Eight, nine, sudden death, one game. Yes, exactly.

The Capitals need Tom Wilson to fight Brad Marchand to turn their playoff series against the Bruins around

I actually do think that the best way to turn this series around right now... I think Tom Wilson has to get into a fight. I think he has to try to fight [Brad] Marchand.

Throwing no-hitters is 'choogy' and uncool now

I actually think that throwing no-hitters have gotten, it's like choogy now. Yeah. It's like kind of overdone. It's lame. seriously, like no hitters are lame now. no, these are not cool and guys strike out too much.

Tim Tebow is a 'Trojan Horse' who will eventually play quarterback for the Jaguars

I think Tim Tebow is kind of a Trojan horse deal. I think he might end up playing quarterback. because if you saw the handshake that he put on the other guy, that is a quarterback's handshake.

Max Verstappen will eventually be the F1 World Champion

Max Verstappen is going to be world champion. That's what everyone says. I believe it as well.

F1 teammates in Europe generally hate each other because they are each other's biggest career threat

Call a teammate in Europe, they fucking hate each other. Because it's the one guy that's going to kill his career. So they play team, but the reality is they both want to beat each other.

Formula One needs a star American driver for the sport to truly take off in the US

That's what the U.S. need. We've got to get a decent American driver running in Formula One. And as soon as that happens, I think the US will just take off even more.

The new financial cap is ultimately healthy for the long-term future of Formula One

I think it's ultimately a positive thing... I think ultimately it's a good one. It's going to take a couple of years to settle down, but I think it's healthy for the whole sport.

Formula One drivers are weighed more than almost anyone because car performance depends on maintaining a precise combined weight of the driver and vehicle

They get weighed after breakfast. They get weighed before they get in the car. They get weighed after they get out of the car because... we have to have them at a consistent weight... it's a combined weight between the driver and the car.

Tom Brady 'leadershiped' me into being a believer and he is now my leader

Tom Brady leadershiped the hell out of me... I made a bad joke, and Tom Brady said that, SMH, I've seen better from you, PFT... and then I started to expect more out of myself because Tom Brady, the legend, sees more in me than I do in myself... And now Tom Brady is my leader.

The NBA play-in tournament is stupid

I've decided I'm not going to be Mr. No Fun. I'll just let the playing game happen. I'm not going to tweet that this is stupid. I'm just going to sit here and be right in my silence because... This was stupid.

The Wizards are a regular season team not built for the play-ins

The Wizards are not built for the play-ins, the regular season team. But we do get another game of play-in basketball in Washington.

You cannot win in the NBA when Robin Lopez is your go-to guy

I also think anytime Robin Lopez is like your go-to guy... You're probably not going to win that game. Doing some post moves on everyone's ass.

First-round overtime hockey is a grueling slog that uses up too much energy

What I don't like is first-round overtime hockey playoff games. Because you constantly think to yourself, you have so many more of these series to get through. And we're already playing extra hockey.

We need to unionize and normalize the 'liking both sports' crowd to stop the diehard gatekeeping

We need to unionize the 'like both sports' crew because we get completely washed away by the diehards on either side. ... I'm going to start that trend. You can like both sports. You can like playoffs in both. Normalize liking both sports.

Society needs guys like Tony La Russa to protect unwritten rules

I just want to remind people, because I saw the public outcry against Tony La Russa, and I get it, but I want to remind people, If you chase off every single guy who is holding up the unwritten rules, eventually society will crumble. You need the old guy yelling at clouds. You need the Tony La Russa being like, that was Bush League for his own team.

Tony La Russa could win AL Manager of the Year

I'm also very excited for Tony. The White Sox are very good, and so Tony La Russa, he could win AL manager of the year. Which would be so funny.

Kwame Brown and Charles Barkley should have a show together

You could take Kwame Brown and Charles Barkley, put them in a truck... You could put him in comedian cars getting coffee, except it's Charles Barkley and Kwame Brown talking about how youngsters these days have it so easy in the NBA. Forget the TNT show, which is wonderful. I think we can all agree. There should at least be like 10 minutes a day of those two just going at it.

Shohei Ohtani is a rare talent we must appreciate

Shohei Ohtani is one of those rare talents where I think you just got to sit back and be like, holy fuck, I can't believe this guy's doing this. ... Shohei is getting caught up [to Ronald Acuna].

Joe Burrow should use the hashtag #AllSystemsJoe for his Week 1 return

Joe needs a hashtag. All systems Joe. All systems Joe for week one. There we go. [Burrow] is all systems go, and he's going to be on a mission week one against the Vikings.