Takes

Tua Tagovailoa's draft slide is legitimate due to injury uncertainty

I kind of buy it [the Tua slide] because of the way the draft is this year. You can't bring him into your building. You can't check him out... he went through the nine-minute 22 second [workout] thing and I think that convinced a lot of people's fears, but the really weird part about this guy is it's Miami. Miami refused to clear Drew Brees because they didn't think his shoulder was strong enough.

Henry Ruggs is more than just a straight-line speed receiver

I love Henry Ruggs. He has 98 catches at Alabama, 24 went for touchdowns... but he's not just a one-trick pony like normally straight-line speed guys like John Ross... he runs the routes. He only had one drop.

Teams with multiple picks, like the Dolphins, Raiders, and Vikings, are the most likely to be aggressive in the 2020 NFL Draft

Usually teams that have multiple picks are very aggressive, right? The Dolphins have three, the Raiders have two, the Niners have two... the Vikings have two and I think the Jaguars have two. So normally those teams that are most aggressive are teams with multiple picks.

Doug Marrone is currently the only adult in the Jaguars building

I feel like there's been a lot of that in Jacksonville recently. Poor Doug Marrone. He's doing everything he can. He's the only adult in the building.

The bathroom is the safest place to be during a thunderstorm or tornado

Somewhere along the lines I was told that you'll get electrocuted if you [shower in a storm]. I don't think that's true at all. I think that there's probably no safer place to be during a thunderstorm or tornado than your bathroom.

I'm afraid of being the person walking past a musician in a viral video

My first one is being in a viral video of musicians on the subway... every time I see a musician in the subway, I'll just stand there for at least like 30 seconds. Just so I'm not one of the people in the video where it's like look at this guy, Paul McCartney playing and you just went right by.

I am afraid that someone will use my spit to frame me for a murder

I am always afraid... that someone will be able to use my spit and frame me for a murder. I'm just spitting my DNA everywhere. Someone's going to like basically catch it and be like, we got him now.

I am afraid that I will impulsively grab a police officer's gun

You know how when you see a police officer in line at like a Starbucks... and you're like what would happen if I just grab the gun? I'm always afraid that someday I'm just going to grab the gun. Not do anything with it, but just grab the gun and be like, got your gun!

I'm afraid the entire world is just a Matrix simulation

I'm afraid that this entire world like us sitting here right now is just an imagination of one huge species... every now and then I'm like, we're definitely in The Matrix and none of this is real. None of it. The last year has been very strong evidence.

Jerry Krause deserves credit for the Bulls dynasty but his ego was a detriment

[Jerry] Krause deserved more credit than he got but wanted more credit than he deserved. So he's constantly stuck in that spot where he is like, 'I should be getting more credit.' And he probably, in a weird way, should, but he wanted so much credit that it then became a detriment and a galvanizing force for those Bulls teams.

Kobe Bryant was the closest player to Michael Jordan in terms of his competitive mean streak

I think Kobe [Bryant] gets interviewed for this and... he was the closest thing to MJ after MJ in terms of that competitive mean streak. At all costs, like 'I will do anything it takes to do it.'

Leaked Wonderlic scores are a smokescreen designed to hurt Tua Tagovailoa's draft stock

They were also incorrect leaked Wonderlic scores all that which tells me it's smokescreen season for someone out there. Like someone wants the rest of the NFL to believe that Tua is dumb because they gave Tua a 13 in the first Wonderlic score. It's not true at all. That's not what he got.

I am officially back on the Redskins drafting Chase Young over Tua Tagovailoa

I'm back on Chase Young because I saw a report on Friday that he is actually like LeBron—his parents didn't stop growing until they were like 28 years old and so he's like 6'5" right now. There's a good chance that he could end up being like 6'8" or 6'9"... I'd be happy with either one right now, but I'm officially back on Chase Young.

Tua Tagovailoa is a much better player than Justin Herbert

I have [Tua Tagovailoa] as a much better player than [Justin] Herbert... when you start hearing those things that it's kind of up in the air, I'm like, okay, well, maybe the health thing... but I don't think it's close.

Tua Tagovailoa is a significantly better quarterback than Dwayne Haskins or Kyle Allen

I think if [Tua Tagovailoa] was totally healthy, no concerns, I would be standing on the soapbox and just take him. Like, he's much better than Dwayne Haskins. He's much better than Kyle Allen. Just take Tua.

Jordan Love should sit behind a veteran like Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees for a few years

If you're going to script it, it's [Jordan Love] goes to Green Bay, sit behind [Aaron] Rogers. Go to New Orleans, sit behind Drew Brees. Like, those are good offensive coaches and they have time to develop there. That's why it makes some sense for him.

I would stake my reputation on Kenneth Murray being a successful NFL player

I'll give you one that I would take a pay cut for... linebacker Kenneth Murray from Oklahoma is just going to be a really, really good player. His wiring and intelligence, competitiveness, all that stuff—off the charts. He's just got too many things lined up for him not to be successful.

Baseball should not outlaw spitting due to coronavirus concerns

Spitting needs to stay. It's the only place in America where a guy could just go outside and spit non-stop for like four hours and nobody says shit to him... isn't it better to be spitting all your germs out? If you have a handgun and you're constantly firing off rounds into the ground you're way less likely to accidentally shoot somebody. So we should actually be encouraging more spitting.

Jim Harbaugh dominates the Ohio State rivalry if judged on values instead of scoreboards

I love that Jim Harbaugh has gotten his dick kicked in by Ohio State year in and year out. But if we're only judging on the values imparted to those he leads, he has dominated this rivalry. Michigan fans... are definitely going to count this as a national championship, hang the banner.

Anchovies are actually delicious and only hated because of Ninja Turtles propaganda

Anchovies are not that bad. They only get a bad rap because of cartoons. You were told from a young age [by] the Ninja Turtles... That's actually not at all what anchovies are. They are delicious. They just taste like salt... There's been a tremendous propaganda effort against anchovies and sardines for most of my adult life.

Raw onions on a burger are a lazy topping that overpowers everything else

I'm going to go with raw onion. Just raw onion on a burger. It doesn't matter if it's red or if it's white onion—it can overpower the entire rest of the day. It's significant... it's a sign of a shitty sports bar burger.

Artichokes are a disgusting pizza topping

Artichokes are disgusting... Artichokes on pizza is disgusting. As soon as you start doing dips, because every dip when you're like, 'Oh yeah, the spinach artichoke dip is good'—it's like probably a shitload of butter or cheese that makes it good.

Shrimp is a disgusting pizza topping

Shrimp on pizza is disgusting... The texture of shrimp on pizza is very disgusting. It's like the cheese and the shrimp together just don't work. Cheese and shrimp? I wouldn't have cheese and shrimp.

Alfalfa sprouts on a sandwich are like flossing with disgusting pew hair

I'm going to go with alfalfa sprouts. Sprouts in general on a sandwich. It's like you're flossing with pew... jolly green giant. Really, really disgusting stuff.

Gummy bears are a terrible ice cream topping because they get rock hard

Gummy bears on ice cream... disgusting. They get so hard when you go to like frozen yogurt bars. The consistency of a gummy bear is completely ruined when it's put on ice cream and the flavors never match up.

Animal style fries at In-N-Out are wildly overrated

Animal style sauce on fries at In-N-Out. I think it's wildly overrated. I really do. Animal sauce on the burger... that adds something. Animal sauce on fries just becomes disgusting and you're like what are we doing eating a bunch of soggy fries? It's a cool hipster thing to do.

Heinz is the perfect ketchup and house-made versions are always inferior

I'm going to go with homemade ketchup or house-made ketchup. If you're at a restaurant and they have like a burger or fries and you ask for ketchup and they make it themselves—I just can't stop thinking all I ever want is Heinz. Heinz will never be topped... I would rather die on my feet than die also on my knees eating inferior ketchup.

Ketchup is a disgusting mask for people with bad taste

Ketchup period. Ketchup is disgusting. Anyone who jumps—it's a mask. It's the same as buffalo sauce. If you need to have ketchup—like people that eat pizza but I need to have ketchup... it's just a masquerade. People that eat ketchup get addicted to it.

The T-Rex is an absolute fraud of a dinosaur

T-Rex is an absolute fraud. We got Giganotosaurus, that's like the alpha of all the roars. It's just basically T-Rex with functional arms but like four times as big. Looks like a dragon.

College football is the one sport where fans matter the most

College football is the one sport where I think fans matter the most. Yes, we need we need football in the fall. So hopefully NFL I can watch NFL games without fans and I could bring myself to do that. But if we got Springs football on the other side then boom.

The ESPN horse competition was a complete failure

I'm so happy that I was adamant when they announce that horse was coming out and I said this is going to suck and everyone was like no it's sports or need supports. This sucks... The fact they put it on TV it ruined it.

Odell Beckham Jr. is not being traded to the Vikings

Odell was not getting traded to the [Vikings]... I don't want to tell anybody that without being a hundred percent right because that's the worst thing you could ever do.

Rob Gronkowski is not close to being in game shape or returning to the NFL

I don't think he act look when we were training at Unbreakable... he's waste are than he ever has been right? So we're even talking about what it would take for him to come back and he was never like hi. I need a new approach new program... he's not even close to how it was betrayed.

The Patriots will not trade Rob Gronkowski to the Buccaneers just to help Tom Brady

Also I don't see him going to the Bucks... the Patriots [Belichick] has control, right? So why would they just be like, 'Oh, yeah sure.' They would trade him because they could get something for him, but they're not going to just send him to go help the guy who left them.

I am guaranteeing a Fiesta Bowl victory against UConn

I am guaranteeing a Fiesta Bowl Victory guaranteeing no way I lose in the field. If you don't what if you lose I will not because I'm going to change the slider so much in my favor.

The Bills traded the 22nd pick for Stefon Diggs because he is a proven veteran

We traded it for Diggs who we just we thought at the end of the day that what we could get at 22 wasn't going to be the player that Diggs is... Especially in light of what's going on around our country. We don't even know what kind of offseason we're going to have. So to be able to get a veteran versus School in a rookie up. We just thought made the most sense this year.

I don't see the Bills moving back into the first round of the 2020 draft

I'll be excited when it's over because at that point I can start figuring out who's on the board and And who we can try and skiing together, but I don't see us going in the first round.

Cam Newton deserves another chance and will have a chip on his shoulder

Cam's a guy route for I think he deserves another chance... I know how he's wired if he feels doubted and I think he's in a strong spot, you know, when he's doubted he's going to try and prove people wrong.

The Patriots will still be good because Bill Belichick is the greatest coach ever

At the end of the day the Patriots Bill Belichick, you know, he is probably the greatest coach of all time. I don't think they're going anywhere.

South Dakota is the most unremarkable state in America

The most unremarkable State I don't even know if we have a listener here. If we do have a listener here tweet us. We'd love to hear from the listeners in the great state of South Dakota. who the fuck cares

Mississippi is a miserable place and a no-brainer for Mount Flushmore

An absolute no-brainer a few years ago. I did a a college tour... every state had a great time in pretty much all of them. The only one that was a bad time. Just a miserable place to be Mississippi. Oh, wow.

Delaware is only known for tax shelters and Joe Biden's corpse

Delaware number one a number one Delaware. What is in Delaware? Those people are tax. They've got a heart attack... all that's in Delaware is I guess Joe Biden's corpse and those weird tax companies credit card companies.

New York would be nice if it wasn't for the 80% of the population that is here

I will go with the state. We're all in right now, New York. Wooohooo! York State the Big Apple... since this quarantine is started... you realize a New York could be nice if like 80% of the population, which is All the time because like walking around during quarantine. It's nice.

Nebraska is a bottom-tier state because the only thing it has is the College World Series

Nebraska. No disagree... College World Series, don't we all watch that lot of us? No, who won the last College World Series? [Nothing else for Nebraska].

Utah is a strange state for having its religious freedom tied to a single group

The great state of Utah. Freaks. Religious freedom. Only state, how does that work? Someone explain that to me... I don't understand how one state, how that works.

Oklahoma is the JV version of Texas and robbed the world of the SuperSonics

Oklahoma... I don't really like the JV Texas. It's JV Texas tornadoes really suck. And also I'll be honest... I still feel like the The Thunder have blood on their hands for robbing the world of the SuperSonics.

The NFL will do whatever they can to play the season, even without fans

I think they're going to do whatever they can. Even if it's, we already saw that they're saying without fans in the stands forever. I think that without a doubt they're going to look at [playing].

A good portion of high-level winning college basketball programs are cheating

I think that if you let's say it's 300 schools. I don't know how many is division one... a good portion of the schools that are are winning at a high level are doing something and it doesn't necessarily mean that they're dropping bags off at someone's house. But you've got to get creative man. Like this is It's a blood sport to get talent.

If NCAA rules don't change, cryptocurrency will be used to pay college athletes

If instead of way rules don't change something is going to be the new thing because It is again. That's how it works. It has to happen... it wouldn't surprise me if that's the that's the move in the next couple of years if nothing changes.

NCAA athletes have a basic human right to monetize their name, image, and likeness

I just want listen the whole idea that everyone's going to get a salary... is probably not accurate, but I do think just the basic human right of being able to monetize your image likeness and name it something that is attainable for athletes. And that that is the thing I think is most realistic and I want to focus on.