Takes

Christian Yelich will ruin his swing if he participates in the Home Run Derby

Real talk. It's going to mess up his swing if he competes in the home run derby... [Big Cat]: You're going to fuck up your swing. Real talk, if he says that he's going to be in the home run derby, I will put steroids in his drink.

Max Kellerman farted on 'First Take' because he's terrified of Stephen A. Smith

I think he did fart, and I think it's because Stephen A. Smith has just been owning him with debates... Kellerman is scared of Stephen A. Smith. He is absolutely frightened by the very sight of him.

The Raptors should trade Drake to break the Drake Curse

The Raptors should trade Drake. He's a big mad. I think he's upset.

I was wrong about Tiger Woods never winning another major

Hand up, I never thought I'd see Tiger back in this spot. I was definitely in the camp of he'll be in it maybe a couple times, maybe flirt with one... but he'll never win another major. I was very wrong.

The 2019 Masters was a bad weekend for the Augusta National course

I don't think I root for the course anymore. The course got embarrassed. This was a bad weekend for the course. Yeah, low scores.

The Orlando Magic will beat the Toronto Raptors in their playoff series

As the number one Orlando Magic podcast on the internet, we've decided that just from our four seconds of talking about the Magic on Friday, I would say that we got the Magic their win... It's not a good look for Toronto at all. They'll win this series, but it's good to have the Magic get that one.

Jimmy Butler screwed up the 76ers' chemistry

I think Jimmy Butler came in and screwed up the whole chemistry. That's what I think. Simmons can't shoot. It's so much easier to defend in the playoffs.

Giannis Antetokounmpo is currently the best player in the NBA

Giannis is an absolute monster. He's a problem. He's a huge problem. He's the best player in the NBA at this point.

The Washington Capitals killed the Eastern Conference

Did the Washington Capitals kill the Eastern Conference? Not just the Penguins, who, by the way, they haven't won a game in the playoffs since the Caps beat them... Nor have the Tampa Bay Lightning.

The 2019 Tampa Bay Lightning were scared of being embarrassed by the Capitals again

I do give credit to the Penguins and to the Lightning. It's a smart move to not want to get embarrassed by the Capitals again. So just getting the fuck out of the playoffs as early as possible.

The Olympics should be held every year in Las Vegas since no other city wants them

They should do the Olympics every year. What the fuck? Just do it in Vegas. Because no city wants it. Just do it in Vegas every year.

Tiger Woods beating the athlete golfers he inspired (Koepka, DJ) is his most impressive feat

There's a whole wave of guys that he created, right? The guys that look like Dustin Johnson and Brooks Koepka that could be athletes in any sport... And they all kind of wanted to be him. And he beat all of them... when it's over, he wins.

Francesco Molinari's Sunday collapse will be forgotten because Tiger Woods won

[Molinari] is the one guy that's going to walk away from this the most gutted because if he doesn't make a couple mistakes, then maybe it's him. [Big Cat: I think he's the luckiest guy... no one will remember it because it's Tiger]. SVP: I hadn't even considered that... that actually makes a ton of sense.

The 'Hot in the Streets' trend is saying you want an attractive person to kill you

My hot in the streets is saying that you want an attractive person to kill you. That's like real hot on Twitter these days... just if you think somebody's exceptionally attractive, say, oh man, I want this girl to shoot me in the head. It's a nice way of saying that she's so attractive that she could do whatever she wants to.

The Hound will defeat The Mountain in Game of Thrones

Do you think he's going to fight the mountain? Yes... Who do you think is going to win? Hound.

Cersei Lannister is the best character on Game of Thrones

I love Cersei. I love her. One of the best lines when they're like... I choose violence. And then she blows up everyone in the city... As soon as you get to a certain point where it's like, oh, this bitch doesn't care. I fucking love her.

Samwell Tarly will win the Iron Throne

I think Samwell Tarly is going to win the throne. They're going to do a 10-year show where it's like, hey, at the end of the day, nerds win.

Bran Stark will win the Iron Throne

I think Bran's going to win the throne. He's not a human anymore, though. He's a three-eyed raven. He'll fucking tell everyone about it.

Masters Sunday is the biggest napping day of the year

Everybody watches the Masters by themselves, maybe with their dad, maybe with a roommate or something like that, but it is the one day a year where you can take part in the biggest sporting event of that sport of the year and just sit there and chill, fall asleep, take a nap. It's the biggest Seebs Day of the year.

The Capitals will beat the Hurricanes in five games

I'm assuming they're [Capitals] going to win. It's Caps-Canes. Sounds like a Burlington Coat Factory, not a playoff series. I'm very confident. I'm thinking, like, Caps in five.

The Celtics won't make it past the second round of the NBA playoffs

The panic button is pressed. If they make it past, like, the second round, I'll be surprised. I mean, it's like you would say [Marcus Smart] is the heart and soul of the team. They are already kind on a rocky road going into it.

The Warriors will win the 2019 NBA Championship

Out West, I think the Warriors are going to win the NBA title. Okay, that is a fucking take. Watch out, guys. Take warning. I fucking... Oh, man. I wish someone would beat them because that's what really kind of dampens the... well, you think someone... I mean, Houston could.

The Clippers will not win a single game against the Warriors

The Clippers are going to annoy them in the first round. They're not going to win. They might not even win a game, but the Clippers are like the all-hustle team.

I'm taking the field over the Warriors to win the 2019 NBA Championship

Can I pick the field? ... whatever you guys are ready to risk, like, I'll risk it for the biscuit.

Wisconsin should hire Rick Pitino as their next head coach

We need to do a better job of getting Rick Pitino a job... Where else is there a head coaching vacancy? [Hank: Wisconsin]. I'd fucking take him in a second. I think that would make my life so much better if Rick Pitino was the coach. I mean, we would win the national title.

I am a B-plus level celebrity

What level of celebrity do you guys think you are now? [Vinny]: D minus... [DJ Pauly D]: Yeah, he's like a B. B plus. [Big Cat]: I live with that.

Rob Gronkowski will return to the NFL if Tom Brady calls him

I'm really sad about the whole [Gronk retirement]. [Big Cat: You think he's going to keep playing?] I do. I don't know how many games, but I think if Brady calls him, I mean, how could you say no to Brady, in my opinion?

The Grizzlies' ceiling is giving a team a tough series in the second round

The Grizzlies are always going to be rebuilding. That's kind of what they're up to. I feel like the ceiling on the Grizz is giving a team a tough series in the second round.

The Bulls should send Bill Murray or Jim Belushi to represent them at the draft lottery

Zion. Maybe Zion... That's going to be the biggest night of the Bulls probably since Derrick Rose left. You need to figure out who the ultimate good luck charm is. Jim Belushi. Final answer. [PFT]: Or Bill Murray. [Big Cat]: Get Bill Murray to do it. Yes.

Chris Davis's hitless streak is actually fun to watch

Do you feel bad for Chris Davis, who is now 0 for 53? [PFT]: No, because it's so much fun to watch. And if the Orioles were going to be a threat to do anything this year, then maybe I would be. But he's helping them.

Virginia's national title run is one of the coolest stories in sports history

UVA now becomes one of the coolest stories in all of sports going from the loss to UMBC last year as a one seed to a 16 seed never happened before to then get all the way back and go to the national title and win the national championship. It's all like one story. And it all kind of erases. I feel like if they don't have that low, they don't get to this high.

The best sports teams are usually the luckiest ones

To me, it seems like the best teams are always the ones that get the luckiest. You can make the case like, oh, Tom Brady shouldn't have as many Super Bowls because the interception bailed him out at the end of the Seattle game... But it turns out that if you have luck that adds up a lot, you're probably just good.

Unders in the first half are a strong betting trend for games played on raised floors in football stadiums.

I've noticed that teams, when they're on that raised floor... in the first half, it seems to me like all the first half unders were hitting on any game that's ever been played on an elevated floor, like in a football [stadium].

Basketball broadcasts should use the baseline rolling camera angle more frequently.

More basketball games should have the camera that they have on the baseline that rolls with the action. I only see that during the Final Four National Championship.

Texas Tech is officially a basketball school as long as Chris Beard is the coach.

I now officially consider you [Texas Tech] a basketball school as long as Chris Beard stays there.

Instant replay should have a shot clock to keep the game moving

We should just have a shot clock on the replays because that would be thrilling. If the ref only has a certain amount of time... if they can't find the replay fast enough, guess what? Tough shit.

Sports replays should be broadcast in standard definition to better reflect what the human eye sees.

The replay should be done in standard definition... Going back to standard definition makes you feel like you're intoxicated already. It's blurry as shit. That would be actually a great way to tell.

Jimmy Kimmel is no longer a 'guy's guy' because he thinks 'One Shining Moment' is bad

That's when Jimmy stopped being a guy's guy. [When he said] that one shining moment lived out its one shining moment 15 years ago... that it's not cool anymore.

Magic Johnson resigned as Lakers president so he could spend more time tampering.

We all thought when he did it, we're like, oh, he is upset because he can't tamper as president. And so he wants to retire to spend more time with his tampering. He was like, I want to be a free bird. Right now I'm a caged bird and I'm not allowed to hit up Russell Westbrook and say, hey, congrats on the 2020.

LeBron James will eventually fire everyone in the Lakers organization, including Jeannie Buss

I think LeBron is going to fire everyone if they don't get another star. He'll go all the way up the ladder. He'll probably tell Jeannie Buss she's fired.

Steph Curry's ankle injury timing is perfect for providing an excuse if he plays poorly in the playoffs.

Steph Curry getting his yearly sprained ankle so that now when the playoffs start, we can say is Steph really 100% if he starts sucking? That was actually the perfect timing for him to roll his ankle.

LeBron is struggling to find co-stars for Space Jam 2 because players don't want to deal with him

He's having a very hard time recruiting co-stars to join the movie... Giannis denied him said he doesn't he doesn't like being Hollywood... they're worried about if they go to the movie then they're gonna have to potentially play with him on his team.

The Masters deserves all the hype it gets and cannot be overhyped

You can't overhype the Masters. Take your microphone off. That's a bad take. The Masters deserve all the hype.

Patrick Reed's Masters menu looks like what a 14-year-old thinks an adult dinner is.

This menu really is like what a 14 year old would think an adult's menu looks like. He basically was forced to be like well I like steak and and I don't really like anything else. I like macaroni and cheese. I'm surprised chicken fingers weren't on here.

Tiramisu is an overrated dessert

The dessert is weird. It's tiramisu. Tiramisu is overrated, by the way.

The player who signs second between Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving will be viewed as the follower, not the leader.

Durant and Irving are debating on who will sign first. Why is that important? The player that is signed second is viewed as the follower, not the leader. Oh, my God. This league.

The double dribble by Virginia against Auburn was a clear foul that should be called 90% of the time.

I'm telling you, they missed the double dribble. I mean, that's clear. But... that play that went to the review, everybody that just two days ago was saying, we need to get every call inside two minutes right is all of a sudden anti-replay.

Instant replay has been positive for the NFL and fans generally don't mind the pace of play issues.

I think replay has been good for football... Honestly, I don't know how we'd get through games nowadays without it. I think people mostly don't even notice that it's slowing the game down at all. I think we're mostly glad we have it.

Tony Bennett has revolutionized Virginia's style of play using Wisconsin's influence

I mean, Dick Bennett, you know. Indirectly a little bit. I mean, you guys, you know, kind of revolutionized our style of play, right?

Being a sports fan is way harder than being a professional player

It's totally different as a fan. It's almost more nerve-wracking. You just feel so hopeless... As a fan, I am just, man, I, uh, I'm, I'm a basket case... being a fan is way harder than being a player.