Takes

Russell Wilson is the most terrifying quarterback to face when down in the 4th quarter

Russell Wilson now, to me, is the number one guy in the NFL... right now, week 12, if you were down in the fourth quarter and you had to hand the ball to one quarterback, I'd hand it to Russell Wilson.

Chase Daniel is not a good quarterback and only remains in the NFL because he looks the part.

Chase Daniel is not good. No, he's really not good. But here's the thing, and this is exactly why Chase Daniel has been in the league for 20 years. He always looks like he knows exactly what he's doing... he's communicating very assertively towards his coaches, and he's probably just saying the dumbest shit possible. But he looks like—and listen, if you're in corporate America, that's 90% of your job. It's just to look like you have an understanding of what you're supposed to be doing.

The Denver Broncos will finish the season 9-7

They're going to go 9-7. I'm going to keep it [the Done Chain] on there.

The Jacksonville Jaguars are officially done-chained and their season is over.

Jaguars. Jaguars are a mess... So they're done chained officially. Apologies to them. But listen, we were talking about it before the show. The playoff picture is actually super fun this year because usually the fifth and sixth seed... you're like, that team sucks.

Jim Harbaugh is not on the hot seat because Michigan cannot hire anyone better

I don't think he's on the hot seat... because I don't think Michigan can do better. That's the key part. It's like, if you're a Michigan fan and you're like, we want to fire Jim Harbaugh, who the fuck are you getting? No one.

Michigan should give Jim Harbaugh a lifetime contract to guarantee winning seven to ten games every year.

I think the only choice that you have to make here if you're Michigan is you've got to give him head coach for life. Just let him get comfortable. And you know what? You're going to win between seven and ten games every single year.

The Jimmy Butler experiment with the 76ers will be a success

Jimmy Butler hit another game winner from the same exact spot. Yes, he did. So it turns out maybe that experiment is going to turn out good for this.

Oklahoma will make the College Football Playoff over Ohio State

Oklahoma will go in over Ohio State. Especially because you have... if they beat Texas in the Big 12 championship game, their loss to Texas basically doesn't count anymore.

Ohio State is a better football team than Oklahoma, but Oklahoma would win a head-to-head game.

Ohio State is a better football team than Oklahoma, but Oklahoma would beat Ohio State head-to-head... Ohio State actually plays defense. Oklahoma doesn't. But if Oklahoma played Ohio State, Oklahoma would absolutely shred them apart because Ohio State's one biggest weakness is the big plays.

Urban Meyer doesn't actually want to make the College Football Playoff because he's afraid of Nick Saban.

I actually think Urban Meyer doesn't want to go to the college football playoff. Because if you remember, Nick Saban basically forced him to have a heart attack. He made Tim Tebow cry. Nick Saban made God cry and gave Urban Meyer a heart attack. There's no way he wants to do that again.

Clemson is the one team that can actually beat Alabama.

I am getting back on my take from earlier that I think that Clemson could beat Alabama. I really think they could. I think Dabo... Dabo is as close to Nick Saban as this next generation of coaches is going to get.

Kyler Murray should win the Heisman Trophy over Tua Tagovailoa because his efficiency metrics are better.

If you want another take that you want to throw out there... Kyler Murray for Heisman. And then everyone says, but Tua didn't play fourth quarters. And you say, well, if you take away Kyler Murray's fourth quarters, he still has better numbers than Tua. Boom.

Jeff Brohm is going to leave Purdue to become the head coach at Louisville.

Jeff Braum has done just enough statements being like, 'I want to be at Purdue' for me to say, yeah, okay, you're going to be Louisville's head coach in like a month. It's the classic college coach. If a college coach does a press conference and says, 'I want to be here,' we get it, dude.

The Houston Texans are not Super Bowl ready because their offense is not explosive enough

I don't think it's going to happen. I don't think they're ready yet... I don't think they're Super Bowl ready because I just don't think they're explosive enough on offense. And I don't think play calling-wise, they know how to put their foot on your throat.

Mitchell Trubisky belongs in the NFL and is the best quarterback in the NFC North

Trubisky... he's proven that he belongs... I think they're going to win the division. I think they're the best team in the division.

The Baltimore Ravens will make the NFL playoffs.

I want to say them [Colts], but the Ravens, I think, are going to make the playoffs. And then it's going to come down to the other three... That team's dangerous because they're filled with veterans and they're well-coached.

Quenton Nelson is a future Hall of Famer

When I'm talking to you guys, and we're talking a decade from now, Quenton Nelson will have been in like nine Pro Bowls and All-Pro like eight times. Safe stick in this draft. You might as well put a damn mustard-colored jacket on his ass right now.

Mike McGlinchey is a better offensive lineman than Quenton Nelson.

My take is that Mike McGlinchey is actually the better offensive lineman from Notre Dame this year [than Quenton Nelson].

The Seattle Seahawks will make the NFL playoffs as a wild card team.

I honestly think, during the fourth quarter hits, he [Wilson] says, 'no, no problem. I got this.'... The Seahawks, who I would have never imagined were able to overcome this and make the playoffs, don't look now, but I think there's a good chance. I'll bet you they slide in as a wild card.

Alabama will win the 2018 College Football National Championship

I would think Alabama, unless they piss down their leg, I would assume they're going to win it... Nick Saban's never had a team where the quarterback's the best player... their quarterback's the best player in the country.

The Patriots and Saints will meet in the Super Bowl

I picked the Patriots and the Saints in August. And I'm sticking with it. I think the Saints are the best team now... I'm going to stick with the Patriots, and I'm going to stick with the Saints in the Super Bowl.

Drew Brees is the NFL MVP

If this continues, you can't not give Brees the MVP. You have to give it to him.

No work gets done in corporate America between the day before Thanksgiving and January 3rd

I would go one step further than that and say the year's over. No work gets done in corporate America between the day before Thanksgiving and, you know, after New Year's... and January 3rd. Get those out-of-office replies ready.

I'm still holding onto my take that Aaron Donald is too undersized to be successful

What Aaron Donald is doing as an interior lineman is insane. I still think [Donald] is too undersized to be successful... the people who are yelling that this is not football anymore, I think that's a little bit of an overreaction.

I'm taking the Bears -3.5 against the Lions on Thanksgiving

Right now the Bears are favored by 3.5 points. I like the Bears. The defense looks legit... I would take them by 10.

I'm taking the Redskins +7.5 against the Cowboys on Thanksgiving

Listen, 7.5 is a lot to give to Colt McCoy. Colt McCoy, he's a cowboy killer... I'm going to take the Redskins.

I'm taking the under in the Redskins-Cowboys Thanksgiving game

I think the under's the way to go here. 40 and a half? Yeah, I feel like both these teams are going to struggle often. They both have good defenses.

I'm guaranteeing Duke wins the national championship

I'm guaranteeing Duke wins. [Big Cat] is guaranteeing Duke wins.

Ayahuasca could help fix Markelle Fultz's mental block

That could actually probably help Markelle Fultz because it's all in his mind. [Ayahuasca] will clear you up... his brain is broken.

I am rooting for Washington State to get into the College Football Playoff

I now am rooting for Washington State to get into the playoff just to piss off... Mike Leach... is going to make [Saban or Harbaugh] so angry because they're all serious.

Jalen Ramsey could eventually play in the fourth-tier SPHL with six months of training

If he had six months of elite training as far as becoming a hockey player, I think that he could maybe make the ECHL... I'll bump that down even more. Maybe the SPHL, which is the fourth league. And at that point, you're making $250 a week... but mentally he wouldn't understand the game much.

The NBA off-court drama is more entertaining than the actual games

The NBA is like – I find the off-court stuff more entertaining than the actual product itself and that's why I think that it's it's such a [successful] league... because people are just obsessed with the drama. It's like an episode of WAGS but you don't even need the wives or girlfriends, you need the players.

NHL parity is what makes it superior to all other major sports

To me, the parity is what strengthens the NHL over all the other major sports... things are constantly shaken up because of those rules... in the NBA, it's just like, hey, who's going to play the Warriors?

Judge Judy is extremely rude and needs to mind her own business

I'm not a big Judge Judy fan. She's just very rude to people. Like, 'no, shut up.' I'm not down with that... [She] grabbed my friend's hat and took it off and said, 'you know, take your hat off in a restaurant' and walked away. I was fuming when he told me this. My blood was boiling... I would have given her the finger wave and I would have went back at her.

The Washington Wizards need to blow up their roster because the players hate each other

Washington Wizards are a dumpster fire... The whole team just hates each other. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result... Why wouldn't you trade someone? Because, I mean, they tried, and it still hasn't worked. Just blow the whole thing up.

The best way to deep fry a turkey is to make sure it is completely frozen

The best way to prepare a turkey, in my opinion, is by deep frying it... If you deep fry it, make sure that it's completely frozen... A lot of people burn their house down every year, so make sure it's totally frozen. And then drop it from a high surface area and make sure it all spills over and do it indoors.

James Wiseman is going to sign with Memphis

He's going to sign with Memphis on Tuesday... He's going to sign with Memphis.

LeBron James is by far the best player I ever played with

Well, clearly [LeBron James] is the best by far. I think you give D-Wade the nod [for second] because he has three championships, but T-Mac to me was the hardest cover ever.

LeBron James weighed more after playing a game than he did before it

I literally watched the man. He was actually seven pounds [heavier]. In Miami, you weighed in before games and after games. The man weighed at 260 before the game, and he got done playing 42 minutes and had crazy stats and ended up weighing in at 267. He's not human.

I'm going to knock out Tito Ortiz in the first round

I actually am thinking I'm going to knock him out in the first round... I don't expect to make that [past] the first round.

The New Orleans Saints are clearly the best team in football right now

The Saints are clearly, in my mind, the best team in football right now. Drew Brees is insane... 21 touchdowns, one interception, 77% completion percentage. The punter for the Saints... he's punted eight times in the last six games. That's insane.

The Philadelphia Eagles are officially 'done'

The Eagles, I mean, I don't want to jump ahead here, but they're done. They're dead. We're doing done chain on the Eagles. Can we strip them of the Super Bowl championship... because they have not defended it well.

Colt McCoy is a gamer who can tread water but won't win a big drive

Colt McCoy is the type of – he's a gamer. He's going to win you a lot of games like – 21-17, and then when you get to a big moment and you need a big drive, he's not that guy anymore.

The 2018 Super Bowl will be the Texans vs the Bears

I see a Super Bowl between the Texans and the Bears. And that would be great content... if you lose and you're a Bears fan and you have to cut your pinky off, it's not that big of an add-on to the crushing defeat.

James Conner has replaced Le'Veon Bell's production, but Bell is still 100% better as a receiver

James Conner made Le'Veon Bell almost expendable. If you watch that game, there were so many times that James Conner just missed a pass or didn't make a play that Le'Veon Bell 100% would have made. And so it's funny that the stats, the running stats are there, but they forget how good Le'Veon Bell is as basically a wide receiver.

The Bears are the third best team in the NFC

Would you say the Bears are the third best team in the NFC right now as we're sitting here? I mean, they're 7-3.

Aaron Rodgers might throw the rest of the season to get Mike McCarthy fired

I wouldn't be shocked if Aaron Rodgers throws the rest of the year. [He wants McCarthy to get fired]. He's sick of him.

The Office is definitely coming back for a revival

My Who's Back of the Week is The Office... Steve Carell hosted SNL. It was a great, hilarious SNL... they said it's not coming back. But it's definitely one of those things where they're just getting people used to talking about it so when it comes back, they're excited.

The craft beer industry is currently being killed by bankers

Craft beer is getting freaking killed right now. And what's happened in the craft beer world... originally when people started making craft beers, they were into the beer. Now they're freaking bankers that are into the money. So half the craft beers now suck.

Millennials ruined the service industry because they prioritize social media gratification over hard work

There is a difference between the people that we hire today and the people we hired 15, 20 years ago... When you grow up with social media today, you can post a picture of yourself looking the worst you've ever looked and somebody's going to say, man, you look great today... So we grow up getting this instant gratification all the time... when millennials now go get jobs, the gratification isn't as quick as they're used to, so they leave and they don't stay very long.