Takes

The Lakers are Austin Reaves' team, not Luka's or LeBron's

I'll tell you what, I think it might be Austin Reaves team. Mm.

Jalen Hurts is better than Patrick Mahomes

I actually, like Max and Rowan were onto something with the Jalen Hertz thing. What he might be, he think he is just better than Mahomes. Their head-to-head matchups. And I like it. Hank Hertz has has dominated them. If you'd only watch the two Super Bowls that the, that Jalen Hertz and Patrick Mahomes played against each other. Jalen Hertz clears 'em by a million.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed.

Big Cat, let me ask you embrace debate. Is Patrick Mahomes washed trash or ass? I think he's washed. He's washed. He's washed. Okay. He's washed. Yeah. Check down Merchant. Listen, it happens to every quarterback. He check downs. You know, like Father Time is undefeated.

The 2024-2025 Philadelphia Eagles are an elite, all-time historic football team.

The Philadelphia Eagles of the 2024, 2025 season are a historic football team. Games that they have been healthy in that've lost one game. The Falcons game is the only real loss that they had all year... This fucking team is one of the best teams of all time.

Secretariat was definitely doing steroids

That fucking horse was doing steroids... I was just trying to be funny about a horse taking steroids... Everybody in the world tweets donk at the same time.

I am a better athlete than Hank at everything

I just have to come to the realization, I'm just a better athlete than [Hank] at everything... I'm mad at myself hand up accountability. I'm just better at than Hank at everything Hand up.

The Mavericks trading Luka Doncic is absolute malpractice

Nico Harrison — this guy should be in person... Malpractice. Malpractice. Yeah. The only guy literally deserves to be in prison. The only — it was, it's malpractice. The only way you could reasonably get over it is if like, Luca ends up being like 320 pounds.

The 2020 Lakers championship in the Orlando Bubble counts the most and was the hardest to win

If anything 2020 counts the most. Listen, you take out all the distractions and you just boil that game down to who's truly the best. Everyone plays on the same court... No traveling for the guy who's in his late thirties... it was just a testament.

I was '99 percent correct' about predicting a top-two pick Heisman winner making the Super Bowl

If I said in June of 2028 and asteroid is gonna hit Peru... And then in June of 2028 and asteroid hit Uruguay. Am I more right or than the people who said it would never happen? If in August I say for the first time in NFL history, a rookie's going to be playing to go to the Super Bowl and make the Super Bowl and that rookie is gonna be a Heisman Trophy winner. And that rookie's gonna be a top two pick. And that rookie's going to have a connection to Cliff Kingsbury. And then this all happens [with Jayden Daniels] and everyone's like, oh, you're an idiot. You said Caleb Williams was gonna make the Super Bowl. And I'm like, I basically called it.

NFL film dorks who watch the 'dots' don't actually like football

You can't use the dots... They use the overhead dots and the overhead. I don't know who likes watching the dots. It's all the like, film nerd people. You don't, you don't like football if you like watching the dots. Yeah. Or maybe, maybe you can, but I can't appreciate looking at the dots and understanding how awesome football is. Nobody's hitting each other. There's nothing cool that happens.

Aaron Rodgers has 'druggie eyes' and is the problem with the Jets

I think the problem is Aaron. I think he's the problem... I look them in the eye to look for, to see if they're druggies. And I gotta tell you, Aaron Rodgers has druggie eyes. He looks like a druggie. Aaron Rodgers just has druggie eyes to me.

Saquon Barkley is the best player in the NFL and will change the running back market.

Saquon Barkley is the best player in the NFL and I think that he will, he's gonna change the running back market because it shows that we're going back into a play of game where running the football matters and you can win running.

Sean McDermott and Joe Brady committed coaching malpractice by running the tush push repeatedly.

What was really bullshit is the fact that Sean McDermott and Joe Brady decided to keep running the same play that the Chiefs were clearly ready for all game. And that was the tush push that they didn't even do correctly. They don't even push. They just rammed Josh Allen in the line. That was coaching malpractice in my eyes.

College basketball needs 'asshole' coaches like Dan Hurley to be interesting.

College basketball needs asshole coaches. That's what it was built on... I need a coach K, I need a like as much as I hate Coach K, he has that that like, ah, I hate him. I wanna root against him. Dan Hurley is that if you hate him, that's good for college basketball. So I want him to do whatever he wants to do.

The Commanders will win the NFC Championship because history repeats in 33-year cycles

January 26th, 1992. The Redskins beat the Bills in the Super Bowl on that day. This game will be played on January 26th, 2025. That was 33 years ago. Same day they beat the Bills in the Super Bowl. Every 33 years a Commie gets a ring. And this is a ring game.

The Commanders are a Team of Destiny

I told you when I was visiting that this was biblical... everything's going like, you know, sometimes it takes the football gods for things to follow your way... We here because we supposed to be here. Alright, we are a team of destiny.

Hiring Ben Johnson changes everything for the Chicago Bears franchise

Hiring Ben Johnson literally changes everything about this franchise and it's all the way back. Ben Johnson was the hottest ticket in the last two coaching hiring cycles... He picked the Bears, which makes me think that he thinks Caleb Williams is special.

Dan Campbell is not a 'winner' until he wins a Super Bowl

I'm just not giving him the label of Dan Campbell winner... He's a good coach, but not a winner. [He needs to win a] Super Bowl. That's what I said the first time.

Patrick Mahomes purposely baits defenders into illegal hits for flags

[Mahomes'] thing where he lets up on purpose to try to get goat players into hitting him is bullshit. It's bullshit. Like you can't, it's so hard for defenders to hit a quarterback in today's NFL... he was scrambling and like almost stood still waiting for a guy to hit him illegally or hit him out of bounds.

Jaden Daniels is the best 'team' I've ever rooted for

I think Jaden Daniels is the best team I've ever rooted for in my life. He's a really good team... The moment's never too big for Jaden. Which is crazy to say as a rookie, but he is, he's going to be him.

Mike Vrabel is a fraud who relied on Prime Derrick Henry

Mike Vrabel is proof that one smart clock management moment in a nationally televised game buys you five to 10 years of NFL media thinking you're a great coach... Prime Derrick Henry is not walking through the Patriots door... He was a Derrick Henry merchant.

Denver over Buffalo is the most likely Wild Card upset

I really do think it's Buffalo Denver because one, I think it's the game that most makes me feel like a real upset could actually happen... I think Denver's got a guy that could be the defensive player of the year in Surtain... it would be a massive upset, but I, I honestly don't think I, I would be surprised.

Jaden Daniels will have an 80% completion rate against Tampa Bay

I'm gonna take Washington. I think Jaden Daniels sniffs 80% completion in that game. I just don't think Tampa Bay's defense is good enough on the perimeter. Hold up with them.

Lamar Jackson is under more pressure than Josh Allen this postseason

I do think Lamar is under more pressure than Josh Allen... Josh Allen has not been the reason why the bills have lost in the playoffs... Lamar Jackson's two and four in the playoffs... four out of six of the games, he has not gone over 200 yards... Josh's elevated his game in the playoffs. Lamar has not.

The Bears broke the Packers in their recent matchup

The other two pressure teams I had, one was the Packers. That was simply because like there's word out that maybe the bears broke the Packers... I hope that's not the case. 'cause I want to have, I, I don't want to just be one of those teams that just beats their rival all the time.

The Giants should hire Steve Sarkisian and tank for Arch Manning

So if they do fire Daboll, what about this plan? [Steve] Sark[isian] and then you just wait for Arch. You do one season of tanking... Then you tank a little bit... You tank and then Draft Arch. Because if you're a Giants fan, that that should get your blood going a little bit. Right? Yeah. Like just picturing a Manning jersey.

The SEC is dead following the College Football Playoff quarterfinals

The SEC is dead. So is buys. Buys are dead. Buys are dead. Buys are dead. The rest first rust has been settled. The SEC is dead. We have three big 10 teams in a big 12 team in the semifinals.

Aaron Rodgers to the Steelers is a fascinating possibility

I'm fascinated by the possibility of him going to Pittsburgh. Remember that video of him and Mike Tomlin kinda making googly eyes at each other... I feel like that tracks with what the Steelers are currently doing at quarterback, which is, we don't know how to develop one. Let's just go find a veteran and plug him in.

The 76ers are back and Caleb Martin is a 'Celtics killer'

Sixers are back. Everyone knows the NBA starts on Christmas... Caleb Martin might be the Celtic killer. That might be the difference... He has been horrendous this year and all of a sudden shows up on Christmas Day goes seven of nine from three and just buries every single shot against the [Celtics].

Kurt Cignetti is a coward for his punt against Ohio State

Kurt Cignetti biggest coward pussy of all time. You can't talk shit... and then punt down 20 points, 20 plus points on midfield. Like what a pussy.

I'm buying more Panthers stock than Cardinals stock going forward

This might just be way too knee-jerk, but I think I'm buying more Panthers stock than Cardinal stock going forward... I take Kyler [Murray] September, October, November, Bryce [Young] in December.

TJ Watt's injury might be a psychological 'Art of War' ploy to trick the Ravens

I have a theory about TJ Watt's injury... I think this could be an Art of War situation. Sun Sue Art of War. Make your enemy think that you were weak when you were strong... Start throwing out the one in 10 without TJ Watts Stats... Let people start thinking during the week of practice. Maybe TJ's not gonna be playing this week.

Mike Vrabel and Josh McDaniels will be the next New England Patriots coaching duo

Vrabel McDaniels... that's the combo. [Josh] McDaniels had Mac Jones in the Pro Bowl... give me Vrabel and McDaniels and I am pumped.

The 49ers would be making a mistake if they let Sam Darnold leave

You gotta be outta your mind to let Sam Darnold [leave], you're 12 and two man... That guy can run, run for First Downs. He's a horse. He's young. If you let Sam Darnold out of there, you're making a real mistake.

Scott Hanson and NFL Red Zone are on the Hot Seat for airing commercials on a 'commercial-free' broadcast

My Hot Seat is Scott Hanson and NFL Red Zone... Their entire tagline for years since the beginning of Red Zone... Get ready for seven hours of commercial-free football. And on Sunday they ran commercials. They were like 30 seconds of commercial... you just completely rug pulled them.

Doug Gottlieb is doing a bad job coaching Green Bay and should spend less time on social media

Jesus, Doug, a seven game losing streak in the last place in the Horizon League. Less time on social media, more time in the gym... I think he's, has he won a game in December... He's doing things like his way... sat [his best player] for the entire game even though they can't win a game right now.

The government used illegal tracking technology to find Luigi Mangione and then planted evidence to cover it up

The government has technology that's illegal to use to track and find someone like Luigi [Mangione]... which they used illegally to find him. And then planted all the evidence. The McDonald's worker, the written manifesto to cover their tracks about the fact that they illegally... surveyed people. The McDonald's worker was a plant and that's why they're not gonna get paid.

The New Jersey drones are good aliens protecting humans from bad aliens

It's probably alien. I've heard it's aliens protecting from other aliens is what I've heard... Apparently they've been here the whole time, but just in the water. And then when the bad aliens, I guess, are threatening now. So they came out to protect us.

Scott Turner should win Coordinator of the Year for getting the Raiders to score with their roster

The Raiders are on their fourth, third and fourth running backs. Yeah. And trying to make the whole thing out of, and their third, now they're third quarterback. So Scott Turner, just even getting them to score a point... He should probably be coordinator of the year.

The 49ers aren't actually good; the Bears are just that bad

I don't think the 49ers are good. I just think the Bears are that bad... [Niners 38, Bears 13] That game sucked. The Bears are a joke. They're so bad... just same garbage team, same garbage start.

Kyle McCord would have won the Michigan game for Ohio State by three touchdowns

And, and you know who probably wins that game? Kyle McCord... Oh, Kyle McCord wins that game by three touchdowns.

If Lamar Jackson wins the Super Bowl this year, he begins to unseat Patrick Mahomes as the best QB in the league

If Lamar wins the Super Bowl this year, he'll begin to unseat Mahomes as the best QB in the league. Absolutely some merit [to that]. If Josh Allen wins the MVP in a Super Bowl, he's in that conversation too.

Travis Hunter should be a -5000 favorite to win the Heisman

I mean it should be like Travis Hunter minus like 5,000. If everything what PFT said is correct... it's something we've never seen before.

I will fight anyone who says Indiana shouldn't be in the playoff

I will fucking fight. If you find someone online who's saying Indiana should not be in the college football playoff—tag me snitch. Tag 'em. I just—I wanna fight 'em. I just love the, on the streets of the internet.

Caleb Williams is my personal Rookie of the Year

I actually think Caleb Williams, he's my personal rookie of the year because what he was able to do with Shane Waldron as a coach is maybe the most impressive thing ever.

I would turn the Jets around in two minutes if I took over

I'd like to. There's no doubt about it. I've let everybody know that I definitely would be interested in that job... I think if I took over it'd be, it'd be turned in about two minutes because I think it starts with the passion and the energy that I would bring to that building. And the, we're not gonna take any poop mentality either. I know when I get an opportunity to interview for it, I'm gonna get the job.

There was a coordinated media hit against Indiana Football orchestrated by Greg Sankey

Greg Sankey made a call to all of media on Monday and had everyone in the media bash them when they have their big game coming up against Ohio State. And that makes no sense to me. Indiana has not played anyone. Indiana's an awesome story. Indiana's an underdog story. I'm rooting for Indiana.

Nick Nurse leaked the 76ers team meeting details because of his obsession with the phrase 'elephant in the room'

Tyrese loves the big fella, but this is the elephant in the room. A person involved in the meeting told ESPN... Nick Nurse is very fond of using the phrase elephant in the room. And he's done it at least three times. Nick Nurse loves the phrase elephant in the room. He had a fucking elephant on his desk.

JJ Watt's Hall of Fame candidacy is questionable because he lacks career sack volume

When JJ Watt retired people were having discussions about him being a first ballot hall of famer, which is absolute nonsense. What's, he's not even on the top 20 for career sacks. Meanwhile, Jared Allen is number 12 on that list and has still not gotten in. I'm honestly not sure if Watt should ever be a Hall of Famer.

The Chargers are a legitimate Super Bowl threat

The conversation started 35 to one. We talked about it at 45 to one, they're down to 20 to one. ... No, because the Chargers could win the Super Bowl. And then when they do, I'm gonna laugh in your [Hank's] face.