Takes

I am officially retiring the 'Cocky Hank' persona and replacing 'Championship or Bust' with 'Series or Bust'

After the game one of the Bruins and the Celtics, I made a mistake and I'm here to admit and moving forward say that I will no longer be cocky. I've given up being cocky. ... Championship or bust is no longer. It's just win this series. ... Right now it's just series or bust. And then the next series, if we are lucky enough to advance past this round, we'll be series or bust.

Joel Embiid is one of the dirtiest players in the NBA

Joel Embiid was incredible. He also was maybe the dirtiest player I've ever seen on a basketball court. ... Joel Embiid basically did Draymond Green's career highlights in one game. The play on Mitchell Robinson, when he tried to grab him by the legs, that was, that should have been an ejection. And then he kicked Mitchell Robinson in the nuts. He kicked, he kneed Isaiah Hartenstein in the, in the nuts.

After Reggie Bush's Heisman return, we must campaign for Barry Bonds, Pete Rose, and Rick Pitino to have their honors restored

We need to now focus all of our energy because... it's like a dog chasing a car. You catch it and you're like, what do we do now? Barry Bonds Hall of Fame. ... Pete Rose Hall of Fame. ... Rick Pitino Louisville Banner back up. ... Armando Galarraga, gotta get his perfect game. ... We can do anything with mob mentality.

Nikola Jokic is one of the greatest big men of all time and plays like he's in a pool

Jokic plays basketball like he's in the pool with his kids. Like he's waiting above the water and he is like just putting it above him. Just the way he puts it back in his shot. ... He plays pool basketball... he's one of the best big men of all time. ... The Jokic family, all they wanna do is go race horses. And he just happens to be one of the greatest NBA players.

Brock Purdy is a top 5 NFL quarterback

I think he's top five. Here's the thing about Brock Purdy. I think he's, you know, talent wise, I think like actual arm speed, all that. Maybe not. He's just got this dog mentality. ... Jimmy [Garoppolo] would just take sacks. And then Brock, they were playing the Raiders and Max Crosby just came through and Brock just did this one move and sidearm it to CMC and it was like a 45 yard gain. And you're like, that was the one play where I was like, this guy can just do it.

The Commanders are going to start upsetting a lot of people in the NFC under Adam Peters

You guys got Adam Peters [as GM]. That's unbelievable. ... He was a sneaky weapon for the 49ers. I love Adam Peters. ... Commanders are gonna start upsetting a lot of people in the NFC. That's the effect of not having a Dan Snyder.

Justin Fields is going to be sick for the Steelers

Justin Fields is going to Pittsburgh. And he's just gonna rip [it] out. Oh, it's gonna be so... he's gonna be sick. Yeah, he's gonna be so good. Of course he's gonna be sick.

Mike McDaniel's greatest talent is his ability to scout players

I think [McDaniel's] talent is scouting. Like, he's unbelievable. ... He told me, 'I get to tell Kyle [Shanahan] one guy in the offseason that I want.' ... He came in the first year and got Kyle Juszczyk out of Baltimore. I would say he's one of the most important 49ers of the last 20 years.

Queens of the Stone Age are the best American rock band of the last 40 years

I could argue they're the best American rock band in the last 40 years. ... And I'll go album for album with anybody. They're album because they evolve. ... You wanna see people evolve. You wanna see people try stuff that maybe sometimes doesn't work, but then you get to see 'em try stuff that does work. And you're like, yeah, this shit rules.

The 'Stone Cold Law' animated show would be a massive banger if a network produced it

I guarantee we would make a fucking banger of a show. So let's fucking go. If Peacock gave us a full season, I I have no doubt. It would be great. ... It's Stone Cold Law. Steve [Austin] is a lawyer, like trying to help out the little man in Texas.

I will give it my all and I believe I will be able to dunk

I'm in it. The bet's out there. It's 20, it's 20 k. ... I'm going to give it my all to be able to dunk. I think I'm gonna be able to do it. I know the haters and you guys and everyone in the world doesn't think I'm going to, but I I welcome that. I welcome that. ... The only way that's gonna stop me is injury.

If the Celtics win the championship, I am going to shave my head

If the Celtics win the championship, I am gonna shave my head. So maybe I'll get a taste of what that looks like. ... I'm gonna start trying to do some preemptive [hair loss] things. I'm probably gonna stop wearing a hat as much.

Caleb Williams is the Ben Simmons of the NFL

I've been thinking about Caleb Williams. There's, there's a player that he reminds me of. Little bit of a diva off the court. Really big into the fashion life, the pop star life. A can't miss prospect. ... Ben Simmons. Ben Simmons was the next LeBron. ... Ben Simmons was a can't miss prospect. ... Both teams missed the [college] playoffs... Think about Ben Simmons.

The Phoenix Suns are officially dead

The Suns are dead. I proclaimed it. The Suns are dead. They don't look like they have any life to him whatsoever. They look anemic. Bradley Beal looks pretty bad. No trade clauses, by the way, for Bradley Beal. So yeah, I think he's like the sixth highest player in the NBA. They're gonna be stuck with that for a little bit.

The Timberwolves are legit and much better defensively than the Phoenix Suns

The Timberwolves are good and they're deep. Their two stars [Towns and Edwards] did not play great and the Timberwolves still won easily because they're just so much better defensively. And the Suns play iso ball. It's terrible basketball to watch. I think the Timberwolves are really, really good.

Devin Booker is a worse player when he wears a headband

I also have a vibe stat for this game. And it has nothing—it's based on absolutely nothing... I don't think Devin Booker's good when he wears a headband. I just don't know why. I think maybe his head is too constricted. He wears a tight headband.

Therapy would make Luka Doncic a worse basketball player

My take was that Luka, I think Luka desperately needs therapy, but I also think that it would be very, very bad for him as a basketball player. I feel like that shit that he has makes him excellent, but he's just, he's always angry.

The Capitals are actually leading the Rangers 2-0 based on my advanced analytics

Using the proprietary algorithm that we set forward after game one, I have the Capitals actually winning this game, three goals to two. So the Caps take a commanding two-nil series lead on the road. And also during the game, it was pretty obvious that the real score to the game was three for the Caps, three for the Rangers, one for the referees because the refs just absolutely gave that game to the Rangers.

The 76ers will win their series against the Knicks despite being down 2-0

And then the final act, new tweet: Sixers will win this series.

The Lakers-Nuggets series is over

I think this series is definitely over. Yeah. Well, no, well, what's gonna happen is the Lakers, Sixers might, the Lakers are gonna play great in some more games that they're also going to lose. Right. That's what's gonna happen.

An NBA playoff series doesn't actually start until the home team loses a game

The series doesn't actually start until the home team loses a game. Yeah. Cleveand's playing great defensively and the Magic have Paolo and then a bunch of guys who are missing shots. Let's see how game three goes.

The Broncos released bad jerseys to distract fans from the Zach Wilson trade

They actually are really smart with what they did because they released Bad Jerseys and then they traded for Zach Wilson all on the same day. And you don't know which one to be mad at. They just split the vote. Like that was so smart of them to do those in basically a matter of hours with each other where they're like, which one you want to choose?

Kevin Durant will 100% return to the Oklahoma City Thunder

Kevin Durant is 100% going back to the Thunder. Yes. They're doing some trial balloons... it was a video narrated by KD talking about Chet Holmgren and the city of Oklahoma City... I'm absolutely for it because I think that would be a very cool, like if he won, wins a title with the Thunder. Kind of everything's forgiven.

The MLB umpire who ejected Aaron Boone for a fan's comment should get a hero's welcome for doubling down

He got ejected for something a fan said. And the umpire didn't—he literally said, 'I don't care who said it. You're gone.' I love that. I love it so much when umpires double down on something that's so insane like that. He should get a fucking hero's welcome. It was a hilarious clip. I appreciate it more to just be like, 'I was wrong but I'm not gonna say it.'

The Nuggets' series win over the Lakers represents a 'handing of the torch' from LeBron James to Nikola Jokic

A lot of people think Nikola Jokic is the best player in the world, something we would describe LeBron James as for a vast majority of the 2010s. But this decade appears to belong to Nikola Jokic and the Nuggets. And I think it's telling, it's sort of a handing of the torch. It's a very painful one, but this is LeBron James's longest losing streak against any single opponent in his entire 21-year career.

The 76ers are the biggest threat to the Celtics in the East if they are healthy

Dude, if they're healthy, it's the Sixers. I mean this, right? They were 31 and 8 when Embiid played this year, they were on pace to win about 65 games. The statistical markers with Embiid on the court scream 'we're a contender.' The clear answer was the Sixers if Embiid was healthy.

The only real threat to the Denver Nuggets winning the title is the injury bug

The number one threat to the Denver Nuggets is the injury bug. Oh yeah. I think they're that good. Yeah, I really do. I think Jokic is just, they deserve that kind of dodgy, cute answer. If I have to answer... I just don't see anybody taking out Jokic in seven games, beating them four times in seven games.

Michael Penix Jr. could be drafted before JJ McCarthy

I was sniffing around this morning 'cause I had, there's so much stuff flying around and like one of the teams had told me like, 'Hey, I wouldn't be surprised if when it was all said and done if Penix went over McCarthy.'

The Bears should prioritize drafting another offensive stud at pick #9 over defense

When you take the quarterback number one, every decision is about making sure that pick looks right. I'd rather have one too many studs on offense and worry about fixing maybe some of the other holes on defense. Their defense was good after the Sweat trade last year. To me, I'd rather just go get a tackle or go get Rome Odunze.

The 2024 draft class has 10-12 second-contract caliber wide receivers

I was strict with it. So you can, you can extrapolate this beyond this, but like a con—like my confidence level's high. Wide receivers, 10 to 12 of them. Wow. Like there's 10 to 12 that I feel pretty confident they're gonna, they're second contract, same team, commit to 'em type players.

There is a massive talent drop-off in this draft after the 'Big Three' wide receivers

One of the cool things about this draft class is you got three receivers at the very top in [Marvin Harrison Jr.], Malik Nabors, and also Rome Odunze... in a different draft, all three of those guys could easily be the number one wide receiver taken. There's a very, very small difference at the very top between [them]. All three of those guys are part of the blue chip group... [then there's] a drop.

The absolute floor for JJ McCarthy in the draft is pick #11 for the Minnesota Vikings

I don't think [JJ McCarthy] will fall... I would think the floor for JJ McCarthy, the absolute floor would be 11th for the Vikings. But that would be a really, like, that would be a ballsy game of chicken the Vikings would be playing if they don't move up. I think JJ's floor is 11. I think the more realistic floor is probably somewhere within the first six picks.

Jaden Daniels will be the number two overall pick in the NFL Draft

I feel good about Jaden Daniels going number two. You know, this past week was interesting obviously—mostly incited by Jaden Daniels' agent taking to Twitter... but I do think Jaden Daniels ends up going number two overall.

The Los Angeles Clippers are going to win the Western Conference

The Los Angeles Clippers are going to win the West. Ooh. Not that they're gonna compete. That they're gonna compete. Hey, I, I said that mostly just to get Hank's hopes up because Hank is grasping at all the straws.

The Cavaliers will win their series against the Magic, but it will likely go to six or seven games

I think this is gonna be one of those series that the Cavs are gonna win. I think they'll win both at home then the magic will win a couple at their home. ... That'll go six or seven.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have never won a playoff series without LeBron James

Fun fact, little fun fact. The Cleveland Cavaliers, Dan Gilbert has never won a playoff series without LeBron James.

Anthony Edwards is now a legitimate NBA superstar

Anthony Edwards is is a legit superstar Now. [Durant] he he couldn't do anything about it. Yeah. He was like, yeah, you're right. You're kind of, you're kind of dunking on me right now.

The Timberwolves will sweep the Suns

T wove in four. Whoever wins game one is four.

Joel Embiid is made of glass

I don't want to, I don't wanna be a hater, but it's like... the playoffs, if you make it to the finals, it's a long run. Like how many games do you think [Embiid] has in him? ... I don't want Embiid to get hurt. I can just look at data and history and acknowledge that he's made of glass.

The Sixers will win their series against the Knicks

Sixers are gonna win the series. Oh plus I think it was plus two 50... I'm already really invested so I don't think that I have to do any bets.

LeBron James lacks the stamina to play at an elite level for four quarters

LeBron is doing at 39. He does not have the stamina to do it for four quarters. Like you saw it, he scored I think maybe two or four points in garbage time with like the under a minute left in the fourth quarter. He runs out of gas and no one else... the other guys have to do stuff and they're not able to.

LeBron James will not finish the series against the Nuggets because he will fake an injury

If The Lakers get blown on next game, LeBron will not finish a series. So, oh he'll, he'll pull an injury. They, he did it Saturday night. ... I said it out loud. I was like, LeBron's gonna, this is fake injury territory.

Jerry Reinsdorf is the worst owner in the NBA

The Chicago Bulls are a joke of an organization. Jerry Reinsdorf is one of the worst owners, if not the worst in the NBA. He's a fucking clown... the Chicago Bulls have made the playoffs two times in the last nine seasons. Two times they've back to back nine 10 game champions and that's it.

James Harden is only elite in the playoffs when he has significant rest between games

James Harden, when he has rest, basically every game one, he's awesome. ... Guy likes rest when he gets his rest. Yeah. ... So just remember James Harden when he has rest. Bet him.

The Capitals technically won Game 1 against the Rangers if you ignore three specific minutes of play

If you take out like three minutes in the second period, we actually tied this game. One. One. ... If you take out that 10 seconds and the two and a half minutes in the second period, the caps actually won. This game won nothing... and it turns out that we technically kind of actually won that game.

Ryan Garcia is the new face of boxing

Garcia was awesome and he, he might be the new face of boxing 'cause he is, he's crazy. He's like the perfect amount of crazy fun to watch. Was throwing bombs... he's something else.

Caleb Williams entering the Chicago Bears is the best situation for a #1 pick in a long time

Caleb comes in and you've got DJ Moore, Keenan Allen, Deandre Swift... this is as good as situation as we've seen in a long time. ... You have to go back a while to say which quarterback was in this good of a situation that Caleb Williams is entering into as the number one overall pick in the draft.

Jayden Daniels is clearly the #2 quarterback in the draft over Drake May

There isn't one person I've spoken to that believes that Drake May should be drafted number two over Jaden Daniels. ... That first tier has has been for for teams has always been kind of Caleb and Jaden. And then the second tier is Drake.

JJ McCarthy will have the best rookie season of any quarterback if he lands in Minnesota

JJ McCarthy could have the best rookie year of all the quarterbacks if he lands in Minnesota, that that's the most desirable spot for these rookie quarterbacks.

Byron Murphy could be a surprise top 10 pick and the first defensive player drafted

The more people I've talked to in the league, the more I get the sense that Byron Murphy defensive tackle from from Texas could be, and, and, and I, I don't wanna say it's most likely, but if there's gonna be a surprise in the top 10, it's Byron Murphy.