Takes

Trey Lance should try to play for Andy Reid in Kansas City to save his career

Trey Lance should step away and then try to find a way to wind up in Kansas City and play for Andy Reid and then become great.

Trey Lance should step away from football for a little bit

[Trey Lance] should step away. Trey Lance for a little bit.

If the Eagles trade for Jonathan Taylor, they will easily win the Super Bowl

If the Eagles get Jonathan Taylor on top of everything that they have already. Easy Super Bowl. Yeah. Easy. Not a doubt in my mind.

I bet $10,000 on the Jets to win the Super Bowl because a ghost told me to

I placed $10,000 on the Jets to win the Super Bowl because the ghost told me to.

Garrett Wilson will have 2,000 receiving yards in 2023

Garrett Wilson. 2,000 yards this year. Easy. 2,000. Easy.

Shannon Sharpe joining ESPN is a move to get back at Skip Bayless

Shannon Sharpe is going with Stephen A. Smith to ESPN. This just proves what we all knew that he hated Skip Bayless. This is a move that's not just for Shannon Sharpe, it's to get back at Skip. It's like getting with your buddy's ex-girlfriend.

Penn State is a legitimate national title contender in 2023

Penn State is loaded with freaky talent this year. Like they could really be a Big 10 title contender. And if you're a Big 10 title contender, it means you could actually be a national title contender.

Alabama will have a throwback season relying on defense and the running game

Doesn't it feel like Nick Saban has the defense is gonna be very good. The offense line's gonna be very good. They're gonna run the ball down your throat. It might be a throwback Alabama type of year. Is this gonna be like a throwback Nick Saban... they're gonna zag now when everyone zigs with the spread it out.

Texas will fail to win 10 games and miss out on a Big 12 title

Texas is gonna be favored to win the Big 12... But I've seen too many times. I need to see them win these games before I can believe. And so like, the total is nine and a half. I picked the under and everybody went nuts.

Kentucky is a dark horse to surprise the SEC in 2023

Kentucky seems to have fixed a lot of the things that caused problems last year... They've got Devin Leary now... They could be quite a bit better. That's one that if you're Tennessee, if you're Florida, if you're South Carolina, you're worried about them right being considerably better than they were last year.

Michigan is the best-positioned team to win the national championship in 2023

Michigan, this is the best chance Michigan has to win a national championship. It feels like this is the culmination of everything Harbaugh's built.

Michigan could have 20 players drafted off their 2023 roster

Jim Harbaugh told my friend Bruce Feldman, he thinks 20 guys are gonna get drafted off this roster... Jim Naggie from the Senior Bowl said he thinks there's seven offensive linemen who are draft eligible... who he thinks will be in NFL camps next year. Dudes that aren't even gonna start. And that is a lot of talent.

Jim Harbaugh will coach every game this season despite the NCAA investigation

He'll coach all the games this year because basically... they wouldn't even have the hearing probably till after the season. You wouldn't find out the results of that till months after that. So Jim Harbaugh, you know, he may be the NFL by that point.

Dabo Swinney is on the hot seat because of the NIL era

I would say yes. Hot seat for Dabo, by the way. Because in his own words, he said he would quit coaching college football if the players got paid. He put himself on the hot seat.

College Football Playoff prediction: Georgia, Michigan, Oregon, and Alabama

I'm gonna go Georgia, Michigan. I'm gonna go Oregon. I'm gonna say Oregon wins the Pac-12. First Pac-12 playoff participant since 2016. And then Alabama.

Notre Dame will cover -20.5 against Navy in Ireland

I kind of like Notre Dame to cover against Navy. And I realize it's 20 and a half. But I, I'm, I'm excited to see Sam Hartman in that Notre Dame offense.

Donald Trump's 2016 Republican debate performance is a first-ballot Hall of Fame ass-kicking

The one that we, no one's gonna pick, but I do actually think it is a 1-1. It is Trump and the Republican debates. Trump versus all the other Republicans. He just fucking smoked him. He ended all their careers. Ted Cruz, your wife's ugly. Marco Rubio's got a small penis. He just great school bullied them all. It was a total ass kicking.

The Washington Commanders' win over the Ravens was the biggest win in preseason history

The Washington Commanders have had the biggest win in Preseason history. We did it... some people were being haters saying like, oh, that you guys are acting like you won the Super Bowl... This was not just a Preseason game for the Commanders. This was a release.

You don't become a billionaire without being at least a little bit weird

It was a cringey weird moment by a billionaire who I believe that all billionaires are weird. That you don't get to a billionaire without being a little weird.

Aaron Rodgers is actually trolling Zach Wilson by being overly polite to him

I think Aaron [Rodgers] was being sarcastic when he said that [he'd turn it over to Zach for 20 years]. I think he was laying the praise on a little bit thick and having a big joke on everybody... Zach will not know that I'm making fun of him because I'm being so obviously over the top.

Josh Allen, Joe Burrow, Jalen Hurts, Trevor Lawrence, and Justin Herbert are the actual top 5 QBs in the NFL

We should start taking PA—top five quarterbacks in the league right now. Sam Howell, Josh Allen—Sam Howell, no. Josh Allen. Josh Allen, Joe Burrow. Joe Burrow, Jalen Hurts, Trevor Lawrence, Justin Herbert, Justin Herbert. That's our five.

Drinking is a bigger cause of fan misbehavior at sports than gambling

What do you think is a bigger culprit for people screaming out at inappropriate times or yelling inappropriate things? Would you say it is gambling or would you say it is drinking? Because it's probably drinking.

Taylor Swift is either a cult leader or a terrorist

Is Taylor Swift kind of a terrorist? She might be kind of a terrorist. It feels like she's got, I'll tell you what, She is either a cult leader or a terrorist and she's very good at doing both. Whichever one it is. So anything that she does, I'm on her side.

Baker Mayfield will win NFL Comeback Player of the Year

I put a little future on Baker [Mayfield] Win Comeback Player of the year. And I, for whatever reason, I just think that I, maybe it's that game that he had on, was it Christmas? Yeah. The Christmas game sold me.

Jim Harbaugh's self-imposed three-game suspension is a genius move to avoid missing the Texas game in 2024

Jim Harbaugh, Michigan self-imposed a three game suspension on him. Genius. Genius Moves. So he misses all the out of conference games... Michigan was like, okay, tell you what, you pressed our hand. We'll go as far as three games. Well, I mean it would, I would guess... they're playing like no one. It's at all the, at a conference stuff.

Miley Cyrus will perform the sexiest Super Bowl halftime show ever in Las Vegas

Miley's back, she's gonna play at the Super Bowl probably in Allegiant Stadium, which is the sexiest stadium in the world. It's gonna be the most boner inducing halftime show of all time. We can only hope and pray that Justin Timberlake gets out there and there's another Janet Jackson scenario.

Breeding Maine Coon cats is a $4,000-per-kitten business

We got this new cat. They call it a Maine coon. ... We're looking to breed. ... [The market is] 3,500, 4 grand a piece. ... 10 years outta the league, it's time to move on and make some money.

Josh McDaniels is a terrible head coach who won't be successful

Not a fan. ... He implemented the Patriot Way though... Overnight you've got 'do your job' written on every wall... It was just kind of awkward from the start.

All NFL kickers are dorks, with the exception of Matt Prater

[Kickers are] dorks. Huge dorks. [Matt Prater] is not a dork. Matt Prater is a dude.

Christian McCaffrey's versatility makes him worth a high running back salary

I think the backs that bring that true three down versatility that you're gonna use him as much throwing in the ball as you are hand, those are the guys that are gonna get paid... you look at what Christian [McCaffrey] can do, he's a dual weapon. You can line him up in the backfield, you can split him out. He's a return. He just brings so many different elements.

Kanye West's 'College Trilogy' is the best pound-for-pound album trilogy in history

To separate the art from the artist Right. And understand that these are maybe the three like pound for pound best albums out there... It is Kanye West College Dropout Late Registration. Graduation. They call it the College trilogy.

The Godfather Part III is so bad that it ruins the whole movie trilogy

Godfather three... one and two are so good... The Tri literally just say the Godfather of three doesn't exist. It like they try to make it so it's not a trilogy... The trilogy then sinks the whole trilogy within itself. That's not, that is incorrect.

The 2017 Barstool Van Talk cancellation was caused by a bad omen involving a dead squirrel

He said that when we were there, a hawk came and picked up a squirrel and after we left the hawk dropped the dead squirrel on the bench we were sitting on. And his wife said, whatever those guys were talking about, it's not gonna work out. ... That's a bad omen. Really bad.

The Steelers are my surprise team for the 2023 season

Kenny Pickett. Yes. Two touchdown drives. Diced them up. Diced him up. ... Steelers Look ready to go. Steelers are my surprise team. Yeah. No one's talking about the Steelers. We are.

Trey Lance sucks and doesn't know how to play football

Trey Lance sucks. Yeah. Well that's, doesn't even know how to play football. ... The one clip of him throwing, just standing there with no pressure while guys were open, feeling pressure that wasn't there, and then mis-throwing it. That was a bad look.

Bijan Robinson is already the best running back of all time

My other one is Bijan Robinson is the best running back of all time. That was a great, great performance by him. That's, he's a clip monster. Everyone's like, look at this. It's just Bijan finding [room].

If Aaron Rodgers makes Zach Wilson a 15-year starter, he is the greatest quarterback of all time

I'll say this right now. If Aaron Rodgers makes Zach Wilson a 15-year starter in the NFL, he is the greatest quarterback of all time. Like, that would be, that is way more impressive than winning a Super Bowl, any MVP, to make Zach Wilson a 15-year starter, that would be the greatest quarterback of all time.

Lionel Messi is the best soccer player ever and the MLS might be rigged for him

Messy, he's a goat. We all know he's a goat and he just keeps proving that he's... Some people are saying MLS is rigged that they brought Messi over and they're letting him score all these goals because there's no way that the professional league can be that bad where [Messi] just steps in and dominates.

The Yankees should extend both Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman

I think they should extend Aaron Boone. Yeah. I think he's the steady hand and Cashman. I think Aaron Boone is a steady hand that the Yankees need to control their franchise. ... We official vote of confidence as they should extend both of them. Yes.

Signing Aaron Judge to a mega-deal was a mistake

Build around Aaron Judge. ... I don't know if you wanna build around Aaron Judge. He's like 32 isn't he? They just signed him to a mega deal. I know that was a mistake. ... He's gonna be 32 before next season. Okay. Whew. And he's got like 14 years left on his contract.

Charles Haley was the final piece that shifted the NFC power from San Francisco to Dallas

That was the final missing piece to those teams. And it shifted the power in the N F C from San Francisco to Dallas for a number of years once we got Charles.

The New York Jets are legitimately a quarterback away from being a contender

Obviously everybody's looking at the Jets. ... It's hard to say that a team is one player away, but I tell you what, you watch the Jets last year, they had a great defense. ... They legitimately are like a quarterback away. I mean, that was the thing that held them back last year. And, how much does Aaron Rodgers elevate that team?

The Lions and Dan Campbell have successfully built a culture of grit and trenches-first football

I definitely think that there's a culture that you create that starts to represent how you play on the field. And that's what Dan [Campbell] has done. And the reason I like Dan Campbell is... Dan sees it the same way I do from the inside out. You know, you gotta be able to run the football. Well, you gotta focus on the offensive line, you gotta control everything there.

The Patriots will struggle to keep up in the increasingly difficult AFC East

I just think that that's a tough division, you know, with the Jets potentially being who they are, what Mike McDaniel did with the Dolphins and how good he made them. And then you still got Buffalo. So, you know, for a number of years the Patriots were able to feast on a very, very weak division. And now they've got a very, very challenging division.

The MLB pitch clock is more of a hitter's clock than a pitcher's clock

I kind of think it's more of a hitter's clock personally. It speeds them up. You know, it seemed like we were always waiting on the hitter. You know, they had their walkup song and they were stepping out and calling timeout all the time. So I think as a pitcher, for me personally, it'd be great because I think it speeds the hitter up and kind of keeps the game moving.

My sleeper pick to win the World Series is the Texas Rangers

My sleeper this year is Texas. You know, I'm staying with, I'm, I think I'd love the odds on Texas this year, you know, if I had money to bet, I'd go down and at least make sure I put something on them.

I bet Hank $20,000 that the Patriots won't make a Super Bowl in the next five years

Hank and I have a five year Super Bowl bet. If the Patriots don't get back to the Super Bowl in the next five years... If they do get there in the next five years, I owe Hank $50,000. If they don't, he owes me 20 grand.

The NBA should adopt tackle rules and change point scoring to mimic the NFL

The NBA needs to learn a lot about sports from the NFL namely like allow tackling and that sort of thing... make your goals worth three points. Make penalty kicks worth two. Boom. It's very easy to do. And you get the illusion of higher scoring.

College football message boards are where you find the actual truth about sports and life in America

Going to college football message boards is where you get the actual truth about sports and really life in America. I love SEC message boards. They're the best. Tiger Droppings, Hagville. Just feed it, inject it directly into my veins.

Jameson Williams might be cursed

Jameson Williams might be cursed because if you remember, he's already out for six games for gambling and now he's out [for the preseason]... he missed most of last year. They were using the preseason to try to get him reps... Now he's out again. He might be cursed.