Takes

Donald Trump weighs 255 pounds

I think he's 255. Like a linebacker. He's a Hoss. He's basically Brian Cushing.

I am anti the 'P-word' [Potential] and I don't condone fans yelling it at me on the golf course

I'm anti-P-word. I will not laugh. I don't condone it. I'm not cool with that one... I also am trying to win things. I'll take anything that's just not the P-word.

It would be crazy if I didn't get a Ryder Cup pick

I've been in the getting a pick category this whole time. I felt like last week, last week solidified it. Where now I think it would be crazy if I didn't.

Cal should join the Big 10

Pitch me on Cal coming to the Big 10... would you like a couple easy wins? You like to expand your fan base to the West coast... we could help you guys change your name to Big 10 to big however many actual teams there are.

Taylor Swift has more banners at Staples Center than the Clippers do

Anytime a Clippers fan talks shit to me, I tell them that Taylor Swift has more banners at [Crypto.com Arena] than the Clippers do.

The new Commanders ownership will make a difference and win a championship

I'm extremely excited for this team, this new ownership group because Josh Harris is a guy. He's all about the community... anytime you integrate those core pieces... for them they're trying to win a championship, I really think that they're going to make a difference within that organization.

Mike Singletary's 'Can't win with him' speech was the humbling moment I needed

I needed it at that time because coming into the National Football League, being able to have some success... you develop this chip on your shoulder where you need a humbling moment. I think that was a humbling experience for me that I needed. So I'm not gonna sit there and say that [Singletary] was wrong because... it actually helped me.

Fans are usually wrong when they criticize NFL play calling

A lot of times you get fans talk about play calling. Why didn't coach call this play? But they don't understand like it's all situational... It depends on what they're lining up in... certain plays that we plan for, we can't really run and practice. And then the fans... might be looking at a play totally different than the offensive coordinator.

Johnny Bananas is the GOAT of The Challenge

The answer's Johnny Bananas, that is the goat... as much as I love CT, he doesn't have the longevity that Johnny Bananas does. and he didn't have the mental game.

Lamar Jackson will win a championship in the next three years

Lamar Jackson's gonna win the championship if he can still win between now and the next three years.

The Ravens will win the Super Bowl this year

The team that's gonna win the Super Bowl this year will probably be Baltimore Ravens.

The Washington Commanders secondary will surprise everyone this season

I think the Washington Commanders secondary is gonna surprise everyone.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT of basketball

My favorite player of all time: Michael Jordan.

The Nick Castellanos home run apology call is one of the greatest moments in broadcasting history

It is such a hilarious funny call. Iconic call became a meme. It's like one of those things that I can't wait till my kids are older and be like, let me show you this video... and let me set the stage for you. Apologize for the what? Call of my life.

I cannot run a 5K in under 33 minutes

I'm not gonna be able to run under 33 minutes. I'm not gonna be able to do that and I can't do that. Physically... I'm going to end up, I'm gonna get an injury.

Aaron Rodgers is functionally the head coach of the Jets, not Robert Saleh

I walked away from this Hard Knocks episode two, asking myself a simple question. Who's the coach of the Jets? Is it Robert Saleh... or is it Aaron Rodgers? ... Robert Saleh turned to Aaron Rodgers and he said, 'we gotta get them [the O-line] right for you, buddy.' And I said, huh, that's weird. Tail wagging the dog. That feels like Aaron Rodgers is coaching this team.

A dominant defensive line can emasculate and ruin the confidence of their own offensive line in practice

I think the fact that their defensive line is so good that they [the Jets offensive line] get their ass kicked every day by a really good defensive line. That's a little bit emasculating. You lose your confidence. ... The Jets should make their defensive line worse so that their offensive line could get better.

Will McDonald will win NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year

The Hard Knocks effect is in full swing on me for Will McDonald. Defensive Rookie of the Year. ... The defense is gonna be a problem.

Ezekiel Elliott will score two touchdowns against the Cowboys in Week 4

Jake, October... or no, how many days in September? 30th. September 30th. Reminder bet. Ezekiel Elliott. ... Bet Ezekiel Elliott. Two touchdowns on that Sunday's game. It's the Patriots versus Cowboys. Bill Belichick... will absolutely will try to stick it to them.

James Harden is the worst player to have on your team because he ruins chemistry

He's the worst player to have on your team. Yeah. He's literally breaking up the team one by one because [he spread bad vibes].

Joel Embiid deleted Philadelphia from his social media specifically to mess with Max

I actually think this is a high possibility that Joel Embiid knows who Max is and did this just a fuck with him.

Madden releases have shifted from celebrations to complaining days because of the internet

It's also just a perfect example of life with the internet where Madden release used to be a celebration day. You stick around long enough and it just becomes a complaining day.

Philip Rivers would have won the Super Bowl if he started for the 49ers last season

Kyle Shanahan's plan that he had in place. If the 49ers had made the Super Bowl and Brock Purdy was injured, Philip Rivers was going to start the Super Bowl. ... He probably would've won. ... It would've been the very best thing to ever happen to the NFL. ... We would've had to go to the Super Bowl and root for the Niners and wear Phil Rivers Niners jerseys.

If Philip Rivers had started the Super Bowl for the 49ers, he would have won because he is too slow to slip on the turf

Do you know why he would've won? Philip Rivers doesn't move fast enough to have the graspy slippery be a problem. That's very true. He would've won. ... It would not have been an issue. He's so slow.

Michael Lewis embellished 'The Blind Side' facts for marketing purposes

I'm saying Michael Lewis may have embellished some of the facts, or woven it into a better story than it or a story that he thought was more marketable than the real story. ... Next thing you're gonna do is tell me that Billy Beane never won a World Series.

The Tuohys only brought Michael Oher into their family because of his football talent

This has always kind of been the logical explanation of what happened. Like they didn't bring this kid into their home because he was homeless and they wanted to be great people. They brought 'em into their home because they're like, 'oh shit, this guy's awesome at football. And we're the biggest Ole Miss fans in the world. So we might as well adopt him. And then just funnel 'em down to Oxford.'

Doubling the first hole of a major is the best time to do it

If you're going to make a double bogey right. Might as well be that the first hole of the tournament when you have 71 holes to make it up or like Scottie [Scheffler] did the year before, do it on the last hole when you already know you've won and you can afford to do it.

I can fit in most cars because I am only 6'3"

I'm 6'3, I can, I can fit in most cars. I think once you go past, once you get to the 6'5s is when you start getting, maybe I can't fit in those. ... Germans [who make Porsches/Mercedes] on average are tall.

If you are going to pump up the crowd on the 16th at Phoenix, you have to hit a good shot

If you're going to boost the crowd up, you need to hit a good shot. ... That was a bad moment [getting booed after pumping up the crowd].

Home support is a major factor in winning the Ryder Cup

Whistling Straits was a shame because we didn't have, because of COVID, European fans couldn't travel. ... I mean, fully deserved to win. There's no doubt about that. I just think home support goes a long way. And I think that that will play a, play a big role in Rome.

Having kids is a massive money pit

I want to say that I don't see this as a waste, but it is a waste. Having kids is just... it's a money pit. ... If you buy a kid a toy, they play with it for about five minutes. Then they're like, I'm gonna play with your fucking shoes or something that could kill me. ... You should actually just adopt your kids when they're 17 years old. You spend way less money on them.

If you are a bad gambler, gambling is a massive waste of money

Yes, you lose money gambling. And I'm very open about the fact that I'm a loser. ... If you bet within your means, it doesn't hurt.

Hosting the World Cup or Olympics is a massive waste of money for a country

Hosting the World Cup or the Olympics. ... Hosting a massive world event. I think Qatar spent like $2 trillion or some bullshit hosting the World Cup. ... At the end of the day, they're gonna have stadiums all around their country that are never gonna get used again. ... Have you seen the Chinese stadiums? They're like, I think wolves live there now.

Stetson Bennett is a future Hall of Famer

First, right off the top. Stetson Bennett, future Hall of Famer. Yeah. He looks good.

Justin Fields is officially 'the guy' and I am hate-bookmarking all slander against him

I am at the point now where there's a line in the sand. Is he the guy? Justin Fields is the guy. I've started hate bookmarking Justin Fields slander to come back to it later. He could play a perfect game and people would still nitpick him. Three for three, 129 yards, two touchdowns. The Bears look fucking awesome.

The female orgasm is a myth created by 'Big Orgasm'

The female orgasm. Not real. Big orgasm has been lying to you guys. Girls don't come. They just do it because they like to make us feel bad for coming too quick. Exactly... let's be honest, let's get real honest here. That shit's not real.

Russell Wilson still sucks despite following Sean Payton's new rules

Russell Wilson sucks... He might be following protocol, but he sucks.

Justin Fields is currently a better quarterback than Trevor Lawrence

I think Justin Fields is better than Trevor Lawrence. It might be the worst take. I might look back on this in two years and be like, you've said a lot of dumb shit on this podcast before. This might be one of the dumber ones that I've said.

The Chargers should be faded in Week 1 because they didn't play starters in the preseason

Please put a note in the file to fade the Chargers Week 1... They're playing the Dolphins. They're not playing any starters. They're not playing any offensive starters. When Julian Edelman taught us this lesson, it's you need to play offensive starters. At least a few snaps... They're out. They're getting faded. Hard.

Kenny Pickett might be the 2023 NFL MVP

Kenny Pickett might be MVP. That's another one... Mike Tomlin said that Kenny Pickett needs to play more than a seasoned vet and he was very good.

Shark attacks are not real and people just overreact to minor injuries

I don't think shark attacks are real. I just don't think they're real. I think someone hits their leg on like a coral reef or something. I don't believe them. I do not think they're real. I think someone... you're a bad swimmer. You probably stubbed your toe and then overreacted.

Johnny Manziel's 'rich oil family' backstory was a fake story planted to cover up his autograph money

That's a great, a great great story that they planted out... Everyone was like, how come Johnny Manziel is able to afford to do all this stuff? And they were just like, we're gonna leak to the media that his dad's rich as fuck and that he grew up with this money and then everybody was just like, 'Oh yeah, that makes sense.' No, he is making a shitload of money selling autographs.

James Harden is still the better option for the Sixers compared to the alternative

I think [Harden] is better than the alternative, but I think Daryl Morey's just gonna do this thing... I'm just going in. We're gonna do the whole Ben Simmons thing again.

Josh Allen is a wild card who makes the offensive line have heart attacks throughout every game

Josh is a wild card, man. He makes us all have heart attacks throughout the game over and over and over. Like, when the world is watching and he's running and we're like, alright, here we go. Like literally the O-line, we look at each other and we're like, it's gonna happen. And then he jumps over somebody or he runs through somebody and then he hits the ground and we're like, oh.

I would literally die for Josh Allen

Would I die for Josh Allen? Absolutely I would, I would die for him, man. He's done nothing but great things for me and my family. And I take it personal, like I really take it personal.

NFL practice is actually harder without pads than it is with pads

I think practice is harder without pads than it is with pads... because it's hard to differentiate from the trenches when you're in the trenches. It's physical all of the time. It's just the standard of physical... we might as well just put the pads on.

NFL coaches only let players show their personality once they have proven they can perform on the field

You can show yourself. Let that be known that you got personality. Then put the work in on the field. And then slowly, slowly, you know, just jab your snow [stuff] around the world. I was myself from the jump, but I really came out with who I truly was once I started to put my part in to this team. You have to stack your chips and handle your business and then let yourself show.

NFL games should allow more positions to be eligible for passes to make the game more entertaining

Football is entertainment, right? And we are at work. But I think that at a point, multiple people should be able to be eligible. Imagine if the center could block and then come out and catch a pass. Or like if a left tackle could be in the middle of a pass pro and then turn [and catch it]. That should be dope.

Shohei Ohtani's success is not real and is impossible to believe

Shohei Ohtani. Not real. Not real. Not real. Anytime an athlete does something insane, that's not real life.

Mark May and Lou Holtz were the 'wrongest' people to ever appear on television

Mark May and Lou Holtz... it was like watching two dogs with a debilitative brain injury just barking in different languages and spitting on each other. It was the best. And they never made a lick of sense with anything that they said. Probably set the record for being the wrongest that anybody will ever be on TV.