Takes

Pardon My Take is the fastest podcast in history to reach 1 billion downloads

We got to 1 billion without even hitting our 500th episode. ... Fastest to a billion. We're a fucking Rocket ship.

Phil Mickelson is actually a pretty good gambler for only losing 10% of $1 billion

If we dive into Phil's gambling career, he's lost I think a hundred million dollars. Right? ... I'm gonna say that Phil Mickelson is a pretty good gambler. He's only lost 10%.

Phil Mickelson trying to bet on the Ryder Cup while playing in it is the craziest part of his gambling story

The craziest part wasn't the 1 billion... The craziest part was that Phil tried to call in a bet on the 2012 Ryder Cup... from the golf course trying to put in... $400,000 for the US team to win.

It wouldn't be surprising if Phil Mickelson joined LIV just so the Saudis could bankroll his gambling debt

He gambled so much that it, it wouldn't be surprising if Phil like gets in bed with the Saudis and tries to have them bankroll him.

Phil Mickelson is not one of the most famous people in the world

Joe Rogan, Pardon My Take, Tiger Woods, like is whatever it is. A million X Phil in terms of, you know, celebrity and recognizability. ... I wouldn't say that if Phil Mickelson was walking down the street, do you think he would get stopped endlessly? I don't think endlessly.

The USWNT coach is more to blame for the World Cup exit than Megan Rapinoe

I've reached a point now where I don't necessarily blame Megan Rapinoe. I blame the coach for even putting her on the roster. That's how bad she was.

Anthony Richardson's first preseason tape will decide his fate in my eyes

That tape is going to basically decide Anthony Richardson's fate in my eyes. If he throws one touchdown pass I'm in. Or one cool like stiff arm or long run. I'm all the way in.

Harry Kane is just a tap merchant

[Harry Kane] is a tap merchant is what he is. Wow.

Celebrating a regular-season no-hitter is lame

Celebrating a no hitter in the regular season. Like who would do that? ... [Lorenzen] is basically did the Josh Hamilton to himself. He's not gonna be the same pitcher after this match.

I should have been the first wide receiver taken in the 2021 NFL Draft

I'm going first. Yeah. I'd be a fool not to say yourself. I mean, all the receivers will tell you that. ... You'd be a fool not to say yourself.

Game speed is much more important than 40-yard dash speed

I think game speed is a completely different than 40 speed. ... There's guys that can run 4.3 but they go out there and they don't look 4.3. And there's guys that run 4.5 that when they go out there, they're playing fast.

DK Metcalf is wildly overrated as a wide receiver

DK Metcalf, he runs a straight line, but he's wildly overrated as wide receiver. ... He's not that good. I me and DK have a little thing, but I'm faster than him.

Quarterbacks aren't really 'dogs' because they don't hit people

For quarterbacks it's, it's different. I mean, you can't, he can't really hit anyone ever enough to be a dog. I feel like you gotta have some type of physicality for a quarterback. ... are you really a dog? I mean, you're just throwing balls around.

USC is 100% back and will make the College Football Playoff

USC's back, so. ... A hundred percent. College football playoffs. That's the standard. ... We're in it right now.

Peyton and Eli Manning are the most overrated siblings of all time

If we're saying most overrated siblings of all time, [the Mannings] would probably be up there. Peyton, everyone talks about Peyton, he basically won one. Eli stole two from [the Patriots].

Kane and The Undertaker are actually half-brothers

Kane and Undertaker [are] siblings... Paul Bearer fucked Undertaker's mom and had Kane. ... This is all the truth.

The Wright Brothers are technically responsible for every aviation-related tragedy in history

[The Wright Brothers] are also responsible for 9/11. I mean, it was flying. It started there. ... You're also taking responsibility for Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

The Bears are coming to get everyone in the NFL this year

My son, who's four ... keeps saying that the bears are coming to get him. I feel like that's a good thing for the bears season. ... The monsters of the midway are back.

Gambling regulators simply do not like Barstool Sports

Turns out regulators maybe don't love Barstool, don't love us. And I get that. It's totally makes sense. I think Penn had the same thought, like, Hey, we thought this was gonna work out maybe a little better with regulators. It didn't. So we are back to being ourselves independent.

I don't think any of the content on Pardon My Take changed while the company was owned by Penn

In terms of the content of this show, I don't think we changed anything. Did we, PFT? ... It's just been how we've talked about gambling, which I understand that was part of the, the rules And it made sense for to, to make sure that we talked about gambling the correct way under pen.

I am officially an Aaron Rodgers fan for the 2023 season

I've never seen Aaron Rogers happier. He looks so happy. He looks so relaxed. I'm so happy for him. ... Aaron Rogers, the shackles are off. He looks like he can be himself. ... He's a great fucking guy. Great football player. I've always loved Aaron Rogers this year. That's a fact. You can't dispute that fact.

Nathaniel Hackett is future NFL head coach material

I think he's future head coach material. Just the way that you, it's, it tells you a lot the way that you can get along with a star quarterback if you have that trust that guy's a rising star... Once he gets that under his Belt, I think he's gonna, he's gonna turn some heads.

Crows are the dumbest animals in the world

My personal big takeaway was that crows are dumb as shit. ... I've been told my whole life that crows are the smartest bird in the world. And it's a miracle that they ever get out of bed in the morning without stabbing themselves in the butthole with their own beak. Because they're so stupid that they just hold onto the back of an eagle and die of not being able to breathe.

I will bet the Eagles to win the Super Bowl for the rest of my life

I think I will probably have to bet the Eagles to win the Super Bowl for the rest of my life chasing that 22 to one. Because if they win it this year and I don't have a bet, I will be so, so upset. ... until the Eagles win their next Super Bowl, I have a future on them.

If the Orioles suspend their announcer for stating facts, they should also suspend the production truck and PR team

You're suspending the broadcaster for stating those facts. Where did he get those facts from? The truck. ... Where did the truck get those facts from? The team's pr game notes in that case. Suspend all of them. ... If you're gonna just suspend him, you gotta suspend everyone else involved with making that decision of making these facts come to light.

Shohei Ohtani's recent hitting slump is caused by the Drake curse

My Hot Seat is Shohei Ohtani. ... Drake a week ago was spotted out wearing a Shohei Ohtani jersey. And since then he is gone two for 12. So the Drake curse is back.

The Buccaneers' depth chart 'OR' listing is bad news for Baker Mayfield

My Hot Seat is the Bucks. ... At the quarterback position they have Baker Mayfield or Kyle Trask listed as QB One. ... I feel like this is bad news for Baker. 'cause most people assume that Bake was gonna be QB one, right? ... This is telling me that Baker, they want Baker to be the QB one, but he's stunk in training camp, so they're like, well we can't demote him yet, so we'll just make it an or.

Carson Wentz is a bad backup quarterback

I still think Carson Wentz, even though he is better than a lot of backup quarterbacks, probably doesn't fill the backup quarterback role very well. ... You want your backup quarterback to be able to fill in for like one game. ... Chase Daniel is way better than Carson Wentz at the role of backup.

Matt Olson is a future Hall of Famer

I now welcome on a very special guest in person. It is Atlanta Braves Allstar... I'll say this too. Future Hall of Famer Matt Olson. I was looking at the numbers and you, if you stay healthy, you're a future hall of famer.

Hitting a home run foul is a sign that the batter will likely strike out later in that plate appearance

If anybody ever hits a foul homer during that bat, they're fucked the rest of that bat. ... There's three options from that point on: it's another homer, which is like a small percentage, or a punch out or a walk, and the punch out is the highest percentage there. ... You're like, 'Damn it, that was my one chance. I'm fucked.'

Trevor Lawrence will win NFL MVP and the Jaguars have the league's best skill positions

I'm gonna put a lot of money on [Trevor Lawrence] winning the MVP. 'cause the odds have gotta be insane. And he's so good. And now having Calvin Ridley... I don't know if you've seen the clips from their camp. Calvin Ridley's a freak. The Jags might have across the board the best skill positions.

The new-look Big 12 is going to be awesome for college sports

The Big 12 rocks, the new Big 12 rocks. The fact that we're gonna get like Kansas and Arizona playing basketball every single year, that rocks. Texas Tech and UCF is going to be my game of the year over every single year. Like there are new wrinkles that are awesome.

Larry Scott is the primary villain responsible for the death of the Pac-12

Larry Scott is the big villain in all this. Larry Scott, when they brought him in, they were like, 'this guy is a visionary. He understands the future of sports better than anybody.' Basically, his vision was just fucking everything up and making everybody hate 'em.

Conference realignment is the least appealing part of college football

The conference realignment discussion that we have—and it seems like it's every offseason—it's like the least appealing part of college football to me. I love it, and at it's a bummer, at the end of the day we're gonna watch the games, but it is gonna leave some people out.

If I were Washington State, I would boycott College GameDay to protest conference realignment

If I was Washington State, I would boycott college game day. I would not have a flag in the background. Silent protest. Get more eyes on the issue right there. Probably won't accomplish anything, but we'll send a message loud and clear.

Baseball should allow mutual combat fighting like hockey

I like seeing guys square up. This needs to happen in baseball. It was awesome. It should be like in hockey, it should be like in lacrosse—if two guys engage in mutual combat, I love the umpires stepping back... let the boys swing.

Expected goals is the biggest crock of shit stat in sports

I'm a big expected goals guy. You know the expected goals account that tweets out... how many goals you should have scored... that is maybe the biggest crock of shit stat in sports. It's like, well based on how you guys really played, you won two to nothing.

Philadelphia fans giving Trea Turner a standing ovation is strategic and genius

Philly being the big sports town that they are... rallied together and said instead of booing [Trea Turner], we're going to give him a standing ovation every time he gets to the plate... all of our boos are strategic... that's just like us being a very smart sports town and knowing that.

Nate Diaz actually won the fight against Jake Paul because he out-trolled him

I actually think Nate Diaz won this fight. Because Nate Diaz... somehow managed to become the king troll in that match. He out-trolled Jake Paul in a boxing match. Jake Paul was like taking it very seriously... but Nate Diaz is like, 'dude, I got you mad. Look how mad you are.'

Nate Diaz would have won the fight against Jake Paul if it lasted 40 more rounds

Every Nate Diaz fight is the exact same. He oftentimes loses and I just love him even more after. And I'm like, if that fight lasted 40 more rounds, he would've won. He would never get out-timed. He would just outlast you.

I could beat up Amanda Serrano in a boxing match

I said the one thing [Amanda Serrano] might have me on is cardio, but if I could... I'd keep her at bay with my jab. She would never get inside me.

Anyone who wears glasses is a dork

Glasses can look cool, but if you said to anyone, would you rather wear glasses or not? Everyone's picking not. Take four eyes, dude, you're a dork. Like that's just a fact. You're a dork.

Jalen Phillips will be one of the top pass rushers in the NFL

I think Jalen Phillips for the Miami Dolphins is a really good pass rusher. It's just a matter of time before he blows up. He has all the tools... I think over time he'd become one of the top pass rushers in the league.

Gregory Rousseau is going to have a breakout year this season

We got guys on our team as well... Greg Rousseau is gonna have a breakout year. I really have a lot of talent on this team... Greg Rousseau is gonna have a breakout year.

Buffalo is my last stop in the NFL

If I leave the Buffalo Bills, I'm done. If Brandon Beane trades me, I'm done. Wherever I get to, I'm done. I'm wrapping them up. This is my last stop... I love this place.

Ed Oliver is a beast who will be special once he reaches his full potential

Ed Oliver, man... he's super special. Once he really taps into like his Super Saiyan 10 mode, he'll be special as well. He has all the tools necessary to be great in this league.

Blow jobs are stressful and awkward

I find them to be—it's a lot of pressure. What am I supposed to say? I just feel like it's really a lot of pressure on me... then I just feel like I'm supposed to be making noises or something while, and I'm not... if I had to sum up blow jobs in one word, I would say stressful.

LOL is the most used acronym in the world

LOL is pound for pound the number one most used acronym of all. Most notorious. I put notoriety in there... mass appeal. MASS APPEAL.

The Browns defense will lead the league in swag this season

A stat that we'll have to keep our eye on this upcoming season. Jim Schwartz from the Browns said that their defense may not lead the league in points against, but they will lead it in swag. Okay. So we're gonna have to keep a running tally on whether or not the Browns are actually leading the league in swag.

Aaron Rodgers looks happier in New York than I've ever seen him

Aaron Rodgers looking as happy as I've ever seen him in his entire life. I'm so happy he's found a new home. The pre-game rundown of what Aaron Rodgers has been doing since his time in New York was hilarious. Yes. I don't know if you heard it, but they were like, he's been going to Broadway shows every week.