Takes

Justin Fields will be the Jalen Hurts of the 2023 season

We're then gonna reach for in round three... for Justin Fields. I have a feeling he's gonna be the Jalen Hurts of this season. We have to ensure that we get him.

Jonathan Taylor will not play at all this season

I would not [draft Jonathan Taylor]. I don't think he's gonna play this season at all. I don't think he's gonna play.

I am very high on Todd Monkin as the Ravens' offensive coordinator

I'm high on the OC for the Ravens, Todd Monkin. He's, I think they're gonna have a very good year.

Michael Pittman is an under-the-radar wide receiver one

Michael Pittman. We think he's gonna have a good season. He's a, he's under the radar wide receiver one. And I think Anthony Richardson's a good quarterback.

Tony Pollard will have an incredible year and is worth a second-round pick

Tony Pollard is gonna have an incredible year. He, he might be round two for us if he's up there... I will take Tony Pollard over Joe Mixon.

Darren Waller will be right up there with Travis Kelce for tight end production

We are going to take Darren Waller. We're reaching in the fourth round. We're taking him... I think he's gonna be right up there with Kelce.

Sam Howell will have the most average quarterback season of all time

I want the haters to know Sam Howell is gonna have like, the most average season of all time. Perfectly average. And that means that we're gonna make the playoffs.

Chase Claypool is a great late-round flyer in fantasy

Chase Claypool. I actually think that he could... he's playing for money. He slots in better now that DJ Moore's there. Just a flyer [in the 13th or 14th round].

I'm not drafting any Packers players this year

Green Bay. No one. [Big Cat: Nice. Okay, good, good, good, good.]

Brock Purdy is going to have a bad season and we'll see why he was Mr. Irrelevant

Brock Purdy ain't gonna cut it... I think we're gonna find out why he's called Mr. Irrelevant. I think he's gonna have a bad season.

I will bet on the Dolphins every week if they trade for Jonathan Taylor

I will say this right now, if Jonathan Taylor goes to the Dolphins, it will be very hard for me not to bet on the Dolphins every week. Because in a [Dolphins offense], they would probably be leading the league.

Justin Thomas is a killer in international play and belongs on the Ryder Cup team

Justin Thomas is a killer in international play. That's a fact. ... Justin Thomas 16 and 5 [in international play]. ... How do you say no to that? Hank? That's a resume pick. ... He's a fucking killer when he plays an international play.

Selecting Justin Thomas for the Ryder Cup is a risky pick given his current form

He's not playing good golf right now. ... I just feel bad for, you know, Keegan and the guys. ... It's a risky pick in my opinion. ... Imagine if he performs badly. The final day is 12 singles matches. If he performs badly, everyone would be like, why would you pick a person who didn't even make the FedEx Cup playoffs?

The 'World Champion' debate is dumb because all the world's best players are in the NBA

This is the dumbest debate ever, especially when you consider all the best players in the world playing the NBA. ... This is one of those cases where a guy's trying to say something deep and then he says it... and when it comes out of his mouth, he's like, yeah, take that guys.

Georgia's schedule is so easy they are a lock for the CFP and a likely three-peat

Georgia's obviously won the last two national titles. They're probably gonna win a third. ... when I look at Georgia's schedule, there is absolutely no way in hell they are not making the playoffs.

LSU is better than Alabama and will win the SEC West

I really, I, I'm not gonna say that the Alabama dynasty is dead, but I feel like it's dying. ... I look at LSU... I just look at that division and I think LSU is better than Alabama this year and they're more likely to win the west.

The Arizona Cardinals are in full tank mode for Caleb Williams

That team is clearly trying to get the first pick. They want Caleb Williams more than anything... That team is in tank mode. I just watched the Bears do it last year. So I know the move.

Penn State has its best chance to win the Big 10 in a long time thanks to Drew Allar

I do think this is [Penn State's] best chance to win the Big 10 in a long time. ... Drew Allar is... the first guy really [since McSorley] who has that kind of attitude, but he's also really fucking good. So I think that could give them a step up.

Iowa will score 31 points per game and win the Big 10 West

I'm on record. They're gonna score 31 points per game and I think they're gonna win the west. I think they are the best team. They're the one I have the fewest questions about.

The Sun Belt will be the best G5 conference within the next 10 years

I think the Sun Belt's gonna be the best G5 conference within the next 10 years because... there's just a buy-in from all the schools about wanting their football programs to be good. ... I think long-term Sun Belt's gonna be the best G5 leader.

Texas is the most underrated team in the country and will beat Alabama in Week 2

I was asked for the most underrated team in the country and I chose Texas. ... I really do think this year's Longhorns team is going to be very good. ... I think Texas, if there is an elite team in that conference [Big 12] this year, it is Texas. ... Texas is gonna win that game [against Alabama].

Caleb Williams will win back-to-back Heisman trophies

Caleb Williams is the real fucking deal. ... It's why I think he's the best player in college. It's why I think he'll be the first pick in the draft and it's why I think he's gonna be the first guy to win the Heisman at consecutive years since Archie Griffin.

Texas Tech -14 against Wyoming is a Game of the Year lock

Texas Tech minus 14 against Wyoming... I went full I mean go as many as you're comfortable going, but it's Game of the Year Territory for me. I have Texas Tech minus 14. I also have Texas Tech alternate lines at minus 20. So that's, I'm feeling pretty good about this one.

Mississippi State will be the worst team in the SEC this season

I'm gonna go Mississippi State because... their coach died. And it's not something you can really game plan for. ... Zach Arnett... is completely overhauling the offense. ... I think Mississippi State has a chance to have a pretty bad year. But I would say it's either them or Vandy.

I am willing a Tom Brady return to the Patriots into existence

If I'm gonna put it on my Florio hat real quick here... I will Tom Brady back to the Patriots. ... Tom Brady has been linked to conversations coming back to New England Patriots this year per us.

Jason Garrett is a total buzzkill on the broadcast

There's no better way to kill your football buzz than having Jason Garrett call the game... I know it was week zero. I know there's only like seven games. They all, they all mean something to me. And then Jason Garrett was on there and I immediately fell in a nap in the second quarter.

The Pac-12 is dying because people can't watch stars like Caleb Williams play on their network

The returning Heisman Caleb Williams, who would probably be the number one pick in the draft and no one in America could watch it 'cause it was Pac-12 network... that could not have been the better way to tip off the last Pac-12 season opener to be like, hey, this is why we're dying. Because we can't watch fucking Caleb Williams play football.

The 2023 Commanders vs. Ravens matchup was the most important preseason game of all time

It is good to have games that mean something besides obviously the Commander's Ravens game, which was the most important preseason game of all time.

College football should move the season forward so every team plays during 'Week Zero'

I wish week zero. Like everyone should play Week zero. They should just move the season forward... everyone plays. And then week one... I just want all the games right now.

Miami of Ohio will beat Miami (FL) in their season opener

First time you'll hear this, I think Miami's gonna win... I'm taking Miami [of Ohio].

I will cut off a testicle if the Miami Hurricanes lose to Miami of Ohio

My hundred percent lock. I I will, I will cut off a testicle if Miami doesn't win that game.

Bob Barker is the GOAT game show host

In my mind the GOAT game show host. Yeah. I mean I know Trebek... Trebek's great. It was, it was the GOAT game show. Right. And he was the host for so long... Just the perfect amount of kind of horny, you know, made sure that everyone got their pets spayed and neutered would get a little pissed off when people were dumb. He just was the best.

The 49ers trade for Trey Lance is one of the worst busts in NFL history

Find another team that trades three first round picks and misses that badly on a quarterback and still is potentially a Super Bowl team... but that has to be one of the worst bust slash trades in, in NFL history.

Fans will clamor for Trey Lance the moment Dak Prescott throws his first interception

I am, I'm very much looking forward to though the first terrible interception. Yes. Dak Prescott throws. Yes. I will be clamoring, I'll be standing on the table for Trey Lance, which will [happen] exactly two weeks from right now.

The new college football running clock rule on first downs is ruining the game

The new rule about First Downs sucks. The fact that they keep the running clock sucks. Yeah, it sucks. It's stupid... they just added more commercials. They fucking, it sucks. They're ruining college football.

Stephen Strasberg's contract was the worst in baseball history

Post World series, he was paid $460,000 per pitch. He was paid 2.6 million per out. 7.8 million per inning pitch. And he was paid $30.6 million per start. Whoa. Probably, probably the worst contract in baseball history.

Aaron Rodgers is going to be incredible for the Jets

[Rodgers] is gonna be incredible. Yeah. I watched the first two drives and then it was college football. That's all I needed.

Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins will be incredible during the 2023 season

Kirk Cousins looks great. Yeah, he does. Have you seen the mustache? He looks awesome... I'm in on 'em.

Messi's assist against the Red Bulls was the craziest pass I've ever seen

Beat the Red Bulls scored another or no? Yeah. Unbelievable goal. Probably the craziest pass I've ever seen in the, in the sport of football... I think it was [better than his World Cup pass].

Donald Trump is the best golfer in the United States

Rick Re says that it wasn't actually 67. I don't be a hater, Rick. He says it was more like an 86... [Trump] is the best golfer in the United States.

Herm Edwards is a total fraud for the mess he left at Arizona State

My who's back is Herm Edwards being a fraud because Arizona State has a bull ban... He's on ESPN giving speeches about, you know, upstanding character and doing the right thing. And he just left this mess in his past. So he is a total fraud.

Howie Long Jr. is the best athlete in the Long family

People ask why I waited to name our third child Howie. And I said, well, you know, it's easy because he's our favorite. You know, he's the best athlete in the family. He's, he's really just our favorite.

The Jaguars will take another step forward because Doug Pederson brings a calm influence to the quarterback

Jaguars I think are, are gonna be a team that, you know, I remember that that game down there in the playoffs... I like what they're doing down there. I like Doug. I think Doug brings a, a calm particularly to the, the quarterback room.

Sean Payton will fix Russell Wilson by stripping away the extras and getting back to basics

I think Russell is a guy that I think needed Sean Payton to come in... Sean is the guy that will come in and he is not afraid to tell you, you know, the office thing. That's not No, we're not doing that... We're gonna get back to the basics. We're gonna get back to run the football, we're gonna make the offensive line better. We're, we're gonna get back to doing the things and, and tailor the offense to a version of what Sean's run.

Kyle Long would win a wrestling match against Chris and Howie in their primes

Kyle is frightening. When he puts hands on you, it's a different kind. It's like, some people are, I'm heavy handed, he's heavy handed on a bigger... I would take Kyle [in a wrestling match].

Modern NFL players are undeniably bigger, stronger, and faster than the 80s generation

It's, trust me, I, I I have no problem saying that. It's bigger, it's stronger, it's faster. Yeah. And, you know, that's the way it is... biggest offensive line's three 20 across the board. Different game.

The losers of the 2023 Mount Rushmore competition will have to do a 24-hour stream with their partner

This is it. This is a finale of Mount Rushmore season... someone will be in a 24 hour stream with their partner for all of us to watch narrate.

Shohei Ohtani will sign with the Mets and fail to live up to his contract

[Ohtani] goes to the Mets and then does not live up to the contract. It would be very funny though if the Mets signed him and then he just pulled a deGrom and just like every year in June, had to get shut down.

Shohei Ohtani should become the best closer in baseball history

Why doesn't Shohei Ohtani become the best closer in the game? I was thinking about that. I went up, looked up Smoltz's history. He was a great pitcher for the Braves. Moved into the closing role and then dominated for a few years, then came back and started. He would be a lights out closer. Imagine if he was just like ding every day and then closing games. That would rule.

Corey Davis only 'stepped away' from football because he was about to get cut

It probably means you can't fire me. I quit. Because you might not have made the roster. I feel like you don't step away if you're gonna make the roster. Right. But then the minute you see like, oh I might not, I might get cut here. Knowing that it seems like he might've been on the bubble. Even with the 10 million. It's a great move by him. Like 'I never got cut.'