Takes

Mason Graham is currently the NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year

Mason Graham is probably the defensive rookie of the year right now, I would say... he's got a 43% pass rush win rate against the Packers... for a defensive tackle, it's crazy.

Any pass thrown behind the line of scrimmage should count as a fumble if it hits the ground

I had an idea today for a rule change. I think that any pass that's thrown behind the line of scrimmage should count as a fumble if it hits the ground... if it's going to a running back that's two yards in the backfield. If that hits the ground, treat it as a fumble. That'd be awesome.

Marcus Mariota might be the best quarterback on the Washington Commanders roster

I just said, I was just like, what if Marcus Mariota is the best quarterback on the Washington Commanders roster.

CJ Stroud is secretly injured and that is why he is playing poorly

Is CJ Stroud hurt? Ooh, I don't know... remember he was having shoulder problems. And they said he's not having surgery, which is not what you want to hear unprompted going into a season... surgery just gets mentioned... he's been bad. Hard. He's been bad. Yeah. And I, I have no idea if he's hurt or not, but it seems like there's something that's fucked up about it.

Brian Thomas Jr. will finish the season with 900 yards and six touchdowns

I'll predict 900 yards, six touchdowns for Brian Thomas Jr... That feels right to me.

The Colts are a legit wagon and Daniel Jones is a good quarterback

Colts 41, Titans 20. So bad news for Colts fans. They finally punted. Good news for Colts fans. They are a fucking wagon... Daniel Jones continues to be awesome... Daniel Jones is just good. No, he's just fucking good. He's just good in the Super Bowl era.

Quentin Johnston is officially a WR1 under Jim Harbaugh

Ever since Harbaugh took over, it's just completely different... as bad he is been in the past, you can't like deny that he is just, he's gradually gotten better and better and I mean, hopefully even better... hopefully even better. Yeah... Quinton Johnston might be a wide receiver one.

Marvin Harrison Jr. currently has the yips

Marvin Harrison Jr. might suck dude... I'm not scared to say it. Apparently you are, but yeah. He has the yips. You said it earlier, can receivers... he has the yips. Both him and Brian Thomas.

Russell Wilson's NFL career is officially over

Is Russell Wilson done? Should be. Should be... it's just gotta end. Gotta go. This, this was too much... just be done with Russ. We've seen this too much. It's over... the question is, is it this week against the Chargers? You have to go to Los Angeles? No, that's at home. Sorry. At home against the Chargers.

The Buffalo Bills are currently in a mode where they can casually beat teams by 10 points without playing perfectly

It does feel like the Bills are in that mode, that they don't have to play perfect. And they can still, they can still just kind of like casually beat you by 10 points.

I'm officially declaring that tits are back and the era of the 'ass boys' is over

I said, tits are back. I said, the, the ass, the the ass boys had their little run, but tits are all the way back. And people were like, bro, you're fucking 50 and you're talking about this, like, yeah. That's awesome.

I don't think Carson Wentz is fixable as a quarterback due to his extensive scar tissue

I'm not ready to say that about Cars. I don't, I don't think that Carson Wentz is fixable. Yeah. I think he's got too, too much scar tissue.

Jalen Hurts is a winner who doesn't care about anything but the final result

Jalen Hurts in games that he has started and finished. He's 18 and oh in his last 18 games that he started and finished... The, the Eagles. And he doesn't give a fuck about how they just keep winning.

Spencer Rattler will get his first NFL win as a starter this week against the Seahawks

I think, I think they're gonna win. [Spencer Rattler] is gonna get his first win this week. First win as a starter.

Kyler Murray's decision to post a photo with a pitbull and a Michael Vick jersey shows a lack of judgment

If your quarterback's making, if this is the judgment of your quarterback, that's a bad song. The decision making process is lacking.

The Bears-Cowboys matchup is a 'Gateway Game' that will define the rest of Chicago's season

This is a gateway game. If the Bears win this game... don't be shocked if the Bears are five and four or six and three... but if they don't win this game, none of this matters. They're own three and they just suck.

Pumpkins are useless food that only hippos and squirrels actually enjoy

I got a vendetta against everything pumpkin... nobody likes pumpkins, we're just forced to do a lot of stuff that we just forced to do as human beings... The only animal [that eats it] is the hippopotamus and squirrels.

The Indianapolis Colts are a legitimately good team without a clear-cut weakness right now

The Colts have really jumped off the screen. Like even if they had lost a game, I'd still be like, that's a good football team. Yep. That's a legit good football team.

If the Jets lose to the Buccaneers and their backup offensive line, defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn should be fired

I was saying if, if the, if the defense gets embarrassed by an all backup offensive line... he should probably be [fired]. Must compete. I wanna see a competitive football team.

The Texans are officially my Pinky Team and I don't think they can win the Super Bowl

The Texans are officially be my Pinky team... I will cut the tip of my pinky off of the Texans win the Super Bowl. That's a, that's a fair. And I don't even think, yeah. I hate the pinky bet. Yeah. I don't understand. I don't understand thrilling.

I will get a Taylor Swift lyric tattooed on my body if the Chiefs win the Super Bowl

If the Chiefs win the Super Bowl, I will get a Taylor Swift lyric tattooed on my body... in a place that can be seen. I get to pick the lyric, but I will have it on my body.

The Commanders should bench Jaden Daniels this weekend to protect him from the FedEx Field turf

I act, I don't wanna see Jayden this weekend. Oh, I, I think we should sit him. Okay. Because I, I'm still dealing with my PTSD Post-Traumatic Snyder disorder. When Robert Griffin had a sprained knee, came back too soon, everything was bad after that... Every quarterback has gotten injured on that turf.

This will be the final season of the Tush Push as the NFL prepares to ban it

And now we're getting everything that we need, all the ammunition necessary for at the end of the season for it to be banned. It's gonna be, this is the last season of the push. It's banned.

I am a better rock skipper than both Big Cat and PFT Commenter

I think I'm better than PFT... I didn't say guaranteed, but I think I am [better than both]. I don't know. I just think I'm, I think I'm a good, I'm, I have a lot of experience skipping rocks.

Teams should only celebrate clinching the division, not the Wild Card or DS

Clinching the playoffs is absolutely celebration worthy... I think when you win the wild card division series, it's like, this should be business as usual. Like we are, we're here now to win a championship. Let's focus on that.

Billy Napier's firing at Florida is inevitable and could happen soon

It feels inevitable that that he'll get fired. But the problem guys is it felt inevitable last year... I don't see a way out of this for Billy because they're gonna lose. You would think most of these games against the good teams.

Arch Manning stinks right now and is a fundamentally different quarterback than we expected

I don't know what the hell this is. It looks like he's throwing from a different arm slot... I thought maybe he could be average at worst. I don't know what the hell this is... it does feel like it's mental. It feels like the yips almost.

A 10-2 Notre Dame team will definitely make the College Football Playoff

I know that a 10 and two Notre Dame team will be in the college football playoff because that's just how it works... If they go 10 and two, they will be in the college football playoff.

Miami is a complete team and a great value at 16-to-1 to win the National Championship

I would put them [Miami] above LSU in Texas. 'Cause it's easier for them to make the playoffs... they fixed the defense. The defense stunk last year... they're a much more complete team.

Roddy Piper, Bret Hart, Terry Funk, Eddie Guerrero, Harley Race, and Dusty Rhodes are the all-time greats

I like to say six grandfathers instead of Mount Rushmore... Brett Hart... Roddy Piper... Terry Funk... Eddie Guerrero... Harley Race... Dusty Rhodes. Six with a bullet.

St. Louis is a terrible city with shit sports teams and paste-like pizza

St. Louis isn't great. Sports teams shit. Pizza not good. I don't even think it's cheese. I think they use like, some sort of glue or paste. It's a whole, whole entire city of people sitting under an arch eating paste.

The Edmonton Oilers are choke artists and will never win a Stanley Cup

He [McDavid] ain't winning a cup in, in Edmonton. No. Oh. Not at all. They fucking, they're choke artists. They might, they might as well might as well be Maple Leafs. It ain't, it ain't gonna fucking happen.

I'm eventually going to lose the tip of my pinky on a bet

I'm probably gonna lose a pinky. Eventually. I'm gonna lose a pinky. We're gonna do this show for the next 40 years. I'm gonna do this bet every year for some year. I'm gonna lose the pinky.

Ryan Polls' rebuild of the Chicago Bears is a complete joke

The main culprit is Ryan Polls because we are now in year four of a rebuild... it's absolutely abysmal. Year four of a rebuilding they're somehow worse. Ryan Polls has not had a single Pro Bowler drafted. That's pretty crazy.

Brandon Aubrey could be a first or second-round draft pick if re-drafted

If he entered the NFL draft next year, if somehow he got reclassified back and he wasn't in the NFL and was eligible to be drafted, there would be a team that would take him in the second round. I'm saying he is so much better than any other kicker in the NFL.

The Steelers are better when they have a shitty quarterback

I think the Steelers are better when they have a shitty quarterback... I think that they're better when their defense knows that they have to be like impregnable.

Aaron Rodgers might be washed

I think they can just give it a little time 'cause I think Aaron Rodgers might not be good anymore. Under pressure, he was a disaster... He might be over.

Mike McDaniel will be fired if the Dolphins start 0-5

I'll make the prediction. If the Dolphins start 0-5, he will be fired. 'cause they play the Bills. They're gonna lose the Bills in Buffalo. Thursday Night Football. Then they play the Jets on Monday Night Football, then they play the Panthers. If they lose to the Jets and the Panthers, if they don't get one win there, he's done.

The Chiefs' Mahomes and Andy Reid dynasty is finished

I just think the dynasty's over. I think Andy Reid and Mahomes dynasty's finished... usually when they pan the camera to Andy Reid, he's got a certain amount of girth... but this time it almost looks a little hollow. It looks a little empty.

The Green Bay Packers are a generational, once-in-a-lifetime team

Today is September 12th and the Green Bay Packers are a problem. Generational team. I listen credit to us. We said if they don't win the Super Bowl, it would be the greatest upset in the history of sports. And they are so good. They're guaranteed to win this Super Bowl and probably next year's Super Bowl.

I would still take Jaden Daniels over Jordan Love long-term

I did do Barstool Sports Advisors before this game tonight and I said that Jaden Daniels is the better quarterback than Jordan Love. It was not true tonight. I still would take Jaden Daniels overall, although tonight made me nervous 'cause Jordan Love looked pretty dialed in.

The Commanders will win 10 games but are not good enough to beat elite teams

I think we're like an above average team right now. I think we're like a 10 win team. But that's like our, our, we're not gonna beat the good teams, the very good teams. It was just, it was ugly.

Bobby Wagner is reaching the end of his career

I would be nervous a little bit about the defense because it felt like Bobby Wagner might be getting to the end of it because Tucker Craft was just eating you guys alive in the middle of the field.

The Patriots will be better than the Commanders this season

I'm not giving up on the Patriots. It's, it's a long season. They could definitely be better than the Commanders.

A Bengal tiger would kill a Jaguar in a fight every single time

I just looked at AI and a Bengal would kill a Jaguar like a hundred out of a hundred times. A Jaguar does have one of like the the fiercest bites in the animal kingdom. The problem is the Bengal outweighs the Jaguar by like 200 pounds.

Jaxson Dart will get his first start for the Giants against the Chargers

My prediction was that Dart gets in against the Chargers. That would be his first start I think. I don't know if it's gonna be a clean benching for Russell Wilson. I think they might do the Dart packages and they might like slowly incorporate Dart into the games.

Caleb Williams needs to take more shots and throw more interceptions

I wouldn't mind if Caleb had a couple more interceptions. We're getting to a point now where he doesn't throw interceptions and it feels like I'd like him to take some more shots. Just take a couple shots. Take like that hesitancy he talked about himself. Let it rip.

Mike Vrabel will dominate Mike McDaniel because McDaniel is a dork

The minute a fat guy walks in and says, that's a dork. It sticks in my head. And now in my head it's Mike Vrabel versus Dork. I'm gonna take Mike Vrabel. It just feels like Mike Vrabel versus dork is a mismatch.

Kyle Shanahan will coach extra hard to prove Mac Jones was the right pick

Don't you think Kyle Shanahan's gonna put a little extra mustard on it to be like, I'm not sleeping at all this week. I need to prove that Mac Jones was the guy and I should have picked Mac Jones and Mac Jones can be a really good starter in the NFL.

The Buffalo Bills are going to go undefeated and win the Super Bowl

Bills have the easiest schedule now. Undefeated. Would it, wouldn't it be funny if the bills went undefeated? It's week one. I'm not gonna overreact, but I think that the Buffalo Bills are gonna go undefeated. Win the Super Bowl.