Takes

If Big Cat and PFT lose their playoff picks bet, they will each eat six hot dogs for Jake's bowling total

If we beat you, Ray Allen tweet. If you beat us, we will both eat six hotdogs on your behalf when you're bowling. That's 60 pins we will take down for you.

Tennessee and UConn are my two picks to win the College Basketball National Championship

College basketball. It's back. I always flip the page. I put a future on Tennessee and UConn. Those are my two teams. So I did that after the national championship last night... Those are my two teams.

Patrick Mahomes drank roughly 23 Coors Lights during two comedy shows

Maybe 13 the first show... Maybe 10 the second show... the server comes up to me and she's like, 'we have someone that's gonna go have to get more Coors Light because Mr. Mahomes says, finish all the Coors Light.'

Doug Pederson should win NFL Coach of the Year

Doug Pederson is gonna get my coach of the year vote. Trevor Lawrence looks like he is like the next guy.

Urban Meyer is the worst head coach in NFL history

I think this [the Jaguars winning with Doug Pederson] does cement Urban Meyer's [legacy] as maybe the worst coach, NFL coach of all time.

Malik Willis is so bad he might be cut by the Titans next year

How bad is Malik Willis to not be getting to start? He's gotta be so bad that there's a good chance that they cut him next year. That he's not even on [the roster].

Derek Carr was born to be an Indianapolis Colt

Derek Carr just, he feels like a Colt. He feels like he was born to be an Indianapolis Colt.

The Raiders should fire Josh McDaniels

Josh McDaniels, he's 11 and 28 as a head coach. If you take away [his] started six and oh... when they were cheating... Josh McDaniels, I, I would fire him.

The Dolphins should fire Mike McDaniel to maintain their streak of making the playoffs only with first-year coaches

The Dolphins have made the playoffs three times in the last 20 years and all of them with first year head coaches. ... Why not just fire him? Fire him. Get somebody new in there, gets some new blood... wait, get back to the playoffs.

Joe Flacco should retire from the NFL

Joe Flacco, he should probably retire. ... he looks very uncomfortable playing football. Like he doesn't like to be doing it. ... I hope he goes off to his seven kids.

Lamar Jackson will play for the Ravens in the Wild Card round

I think [Lamar Jackson] is gonna play. My, if I were to guess I would say that he's gonna play. He was just trying to rest up before the end of the season.

Kenny Pickett is the franchise quarterback for the Steelers

Kenny Pickett looks way better now than he did at the start of the year. ... I think Pickett's gonna get better. ... I think he is [the guy].

Sam Ehlinger would succeed in a Kyle Shanahan offense

If [Sam Ehlinger] was in a Shanahan offense, I think he'd have a lot of success.

The Houston Texans will attempt to hire Josh McCown as their next head coach

I think they're [the Texans] probably gonna try to hire, what's his name? Josh? Josh. Josh McCown. Yeah. This off season.

The Bears should use a 'smokescreen' about drafting a QB to drive up the trade value of the #1 pick

I want everyone to know that what I'm about to say is smokescreen. Justin Fields might not be the guy. The Bears might draft a quarterback... You better trade and trade a lot for that number one pick.

The Saints should interview Sean Payton to return as head coach

They [the Saints] should request an interview with Sean Payton. ... he never wanted to leave, I don't think. ... He would probably go back.

Aaron Rodgers has officially retired from football

I think he's retired. I think he's done. He didn't talk much after the game. They asked him for a jersey swap. He said no, hang on to this one. And then he walked into the hallway with Randall Cobb arm in arm.

Jared Goff is the franchise quarterback for the Detroit Lions

Dan Campbell's building something and guess what? I think Jared Goff is his, the quarterback... he is fucking good.

Having the #1 overall pick is the second-best outcome a team can have

I'd actually argue that the number one pick, if you can't win the Super Bowl, that's the second best spot to be in. Number one pick. Give the number one pick.

Geno Smith is going to earn a massive contract in free agency

Geno's gonna get a shitload of money. I hope it's not my team, but somebody's gonna pay Geno Smith. ... maybe the Jets.

Sean McVay is taking a hiatus from coaching

I think that he's actually done... If you get into media, all of a sudden you're working around all other media people... He should have retired after last year.

The Buccaneers will beat the Cowboys in the Wild Card round

Tom Brady has never lost to the Cowboys... I'm gonna say [the spread is] a pick'em. I love the Bucks in this. Did you see the Cowboys today? Dog shit. Brady's never lost to that shit organization.

Dak Prescott stinks and I don't believe in him

Dak Prescott seven straight games with an interception. Yeah. He stinks. He's bad. I don't believe in him whatsoever. I'm sorry. I just don't.

JJ Watt will likely become a broadcaster in retirement

I could see [JJ Watt] being a broadcaster. ... He could probably name his job.

The NFL should expand to eight playoff seeds in both conferences to make the field fair for everyone

There's another possible outcome that we can have here. This is the one that I think that they should do. This seems to be the most fair one. They are considering giving eight seeds in the AFC as well as the NFC. Ooh. Because the nurse back, that would be more fair if you can't just have, you know, the the number one seed in the NFC, get a leg up and get that buy week if the AFC doesn't get it. Right. So I think that that's the fairest way to go about it.

The AFC Championship Game should be played at a neutral site in Detroit

Let's be honest, the answer is Detroit. Because it's always Detroit for these games. And then we'd also have the joke of like, this team has won more games in Detroit—playoff games in Detroit—than Detroit in the last 30 years. You just gotta always fall back to what is the trivia answer that would hurt Detroit the most.

Lovie Smith will purposely tank the Week 18 game against the Colts to secure the #1 overall pick

Lovie Smith, there's precedent for him tanking at the end of a season. If you remember in 2014, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers... basically tanked in real life. He tanked right as we were watching it. He tanked that game. I think he will do the same in this game. Even if they get a lead, he will make sure that they find a way to lose.

The Chargers will beat the Broncos by at least a touchdown in Week 18

I love the Chargers. I can't believe how much I love the Chargers this weekend. And this again, it might be me continuing to buy into the Chargers bullshit. But I think that the Chargers win this. I'm gonna adjust the line on this now... Go charges minus six and a half.

Steve Smith Sr. belongs in the Hall of Fame based on his Triple Crown stats with Jake Delhomme

Steve Smith should be a hall of famer. He should make it, he's like eighth all time in receiving yards. I think he's top 15 in touchdowns. But here's the stat that really should put him in... There's only four guys who have won the triple crown... Sterling Sharpe with Brett Favre, Jerry Rice with Joe Montana, Cooper Kupp last year, and then Steve Smith with Jake Delhomme. That tells you how good he is.

The Titans defense will be well-rested and keep the Jaguars game under 40 points

The under in the Jaguars Titans is my game under 40. I don't, I don't see how they're gonna score. I think this is, you know what, we've all been waiting for the Vrabel game. I think this is the Vrabel game... their defense is gonna be as well rested as been in a long time. This is the Vrabel game.

Al Michaels has a full 'fine dining' steak and shrimp dinner with silverware during halftime of NFL games

This dude, we get to halftime... He's got like steak. Oh, like shrimp. He doesn't touch the mashed potatoes but, and he's, and and they've got like real silverware and they got a plate and then, you know, you only have eight minutes at halftime... headphones are off back behind that screen and they got a table set and it's like fine dining for eight minutes.

The AFC Championship energy doesn't compare to an SEC night game until the postseason

The biggest difference is the energy. When you go to Knoxville or you go to Baton Rouge or you go to State College on a Saturday night is very different from an N F L atmosphere until probably you get to the post season. So I, I'm, I'm incredibly spoiled by what you experience in a college atmosphere. And then to go into it was almost like the energy, some of the games we did was like calling a Wisconsin spring game, you know, as far as like the crowd noise. It was just like there was no juice.

The TCU vs. Georgia National Championship game will be a high-scoring shootout over 60 points

Somebody told me the over-under's like in the sixties. I think this is another game over that. I think it's another game early kind of feel each other and then after that it's gonna be back and forth. You know, I think it's in the high thirties, low forties kind of like the two semi-final games. I'd be surprised if it's not a shootout.

If Georgia wins the National Championship, they are officially the new standard in college football, replacing Alabama

The new champ should be, we want Georgia. Like Georgia has become the new standard and if they win Monday night, without question, even if they don't win, I feel like they've arrived to that point. They win Monday night, there's a new sheriff in town. You know, it's Kirby Smart and the Georgia Bulldogs.

The 49ers will beat the Chiefs in the Super Bowl

Gimme 49ers-Chiefs in the Super Bowl and I'm going 49ers. I'm gonna win it all. Brock Purdy.

Brock Purdy's success will change how NFL teams evaluate veteran college quarterbacks over 'workout' prospects

It's gonna change the evaluation on quarterbacks moving forward. Like was Zach Wilson who was doing the spin move in the throw at his workout, and Brock Purdy, Mr. Irrelevant, who was a four-year starter. I think it's gonna change guys like Stetson Bennett or Max Duggan... those guys who played a ton of football, they're all gonna be looked at differently.

I could land a commercial airliner if the pilot became incapacitated

If I got behind the wheel or what the stick of a 737 and I was able to talk to air traffic control, I honestly do believe that I would be able to land a plane. It's pretty simple stuff. It's not rocket science, it's air science.

Short people are crucial for conserving food and resources on our dying planet

Being short is better for the future... Not only do shorter people tend to live longer, but they're also crucial in conserving food and resources on her dying planet. The short are also inherent conservationists, which is more crucial than ever in this world of 8 billion. So basically if we were 10% shorter, we would save 87 millions of tons of food per year.

Safeties should be worth four points because they are so difficult to achieve

Safeties should be worth four [points] because the safeties are so hard to get. ... Two points is like a spitting in the face of the defense.

There are wooly mammoth bones and ivory worth millions in the East River

There's a bunch of treasure in the East River... wooly mammoth bones, tusks, ivory. It's treasure. Millions. Billions. The treasure is on East 65th Street next to the FDR Drive in the water... we're gonna try to go get it.

We need less regular season and more playoffs in all sports

Do you know what we need less of? Is the regular season? We need more playoffs in all things. Playoffs aren't the best... Every league is expanding. And I get the argument like, you know, the making the playoffs means less, you're gonna have bad teams, but then when you start the playoffs, there's just more playoffs. And that fucking rules.

The 49ers are talented enough to beat any team in the NFL with a generic fourth-string quarterback

I think the 49ers are built to the point where they could beat any team in the NFL [with] the fourth string quarterback that you select and it's just the silhouette of a gray head. As long as that gray head doesn't turn the ball over... I think the 49ers are built to the point where they could beat any team.

Tom Brady is more likely than Aaron Rodgers to go on a deep playoff run this year

Out of the old guys in the NFC, who's more likely to go on a run right now? Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady? [Prisco]: Tom Brady. Because he's at home. I think that matters.

Jim Harbaugh would fix Russell Wilson by running 1970s-style football in Denver

Every coach has an ego. ... You can hire a guy like Jim Harbaugh and just have him turn around and hand the ball off 42 times a game in 1970s football. Yeah, I mean that's possible too, right?

Trevor Lawrence will be one of the top 3-5 quarterbacks in the league in a couple years

Trevor Lawrence is gonna be special. He's gonna be a special quarterback. He's gonna be one of the five, six best quarterbacks in this league. Maybe in a couple years he'll be one, two or three. That's how good he can be.

Urban Meyer is the worst coach in the history of the NFL

Doug Peterson... had to exercise the demons of the moron that was in front of him. I mean, that's the worst coach in the history in the National Football League. Urban Meyer with his bullhorn and his sophomore high school ways. Gimme a break. That thing was a disaster last year.

Special teams only account for 14% of a football game

It's not a third of the game either. It's a great myth. It's about 14% of the game. Punt the ball out of bounds. Kick the ball out of the end zone. Don't worry about any of that return crap... Make your damn kicks. It's your only damn job.

The Jaguars are guaranteed to play in the Saturday afternoon wildcard window

I'll tell you what, they're not that great on defense. ... Guaranteed Jacksonville plays the early game first game in the wildcard round. I went back and looked since 2010. The AFC South champ or team has played in that spot every year except one.

Bryce Young's small stature is a major concern for his NFL prospects

Bryce Young is five nine. I mean he five 10. I love the way he throws a football. But can you take, you know, he was standing next to Mark Ingram the other day and he looked like the same size. ... He's not a big guy.

Lamar Jackson will not get a fully guaranteed contract like Deshaun Watson's

No, you're not gonna fully guarantee. You can give him a lot of guaranteed money... He wants the Deshaun Watson deal. From what I heard and that they're not gonna fully guarantee. The owners in this league don't want to fully guarantee contract. They were all mad that they did that in the first place.