PFT Commenter

Terry McLaurin has already secretly signed a new contract with the Commanders

My report now is that he [Terry McLaurin] did in fact sign on Friday and it's a secret contract and we don't know about it yet, but they're gonna release the details of the secret contract soon.

A Super Bowl in London is definitely going to happen

Gella [Roger Goodell] started getting like multiple games over in Europe. He had a semi and now he's got a raging boner for having a Super Bowl in England. It's not just a football game... it's going to happen.

Terry McLaurin will sign his contract extension today

I think [McLaurin] is gonna sign today, I think Friday. I think this is the day it gets done. Terry is fully on board. I really, I think he's gonna sign on Friday and then I think it's full, full steam ahead.

Paige Bueckers will be better than Caitlin Clark in the WNBA

I said when she was a senior or her last year at UConn. She's gonna be better than Caitlin Clark... I think she's a better team player than Caitlin Clark. I think that she's a better winner than Caitlin Clark.

Paige Bueckers will break all of Caitlin Clark's WNBA rookie records

She's gonna break all of Caitlin Clark's rookie records and I think she's a better team player than Caitlin Clark.

Daniel Jones will be serviceable for the Colts and can win eight games

Daniel Jones, when I say he is gonna be good, I, I would be shocked if he was like a, a pro bowl level quarterback, but I think he could be serviceable... I don't think he's going to be one of the better quarterbacks in the AFC, but I do think he could be good enough to win like eight games.

The AFC North is officially the 'division of quarterbacks' now that Joe Flacco is back

AFC North quarterbacks: Flacco, [Aaron] Rodgers, Lamar [Jackson], [Joe] Burrow. It's the division of quarterbacks. Listen, two guys have, the two old guys have Super Bowls. The young guys haven't done it.

Terry McLaurin will sign his new contract today

I think Terry [McLaurin] is going to sign my prediction. My official prediction. I think he's signing today. Whoa. I think he's signing on Wednesday... The crazy bird inside my own brain is telling me he's going to sign today.

Auburn adding four historical national titles is the beauty of college sports

Auburn football won four national championships today. They updated their official national titles. They added a championship in 1910, 1914, 1958, and then most notably they added 2004. They finished the season undefeated, but they didn't get invited. This is kind of the beauty of college sports. That you can just claim whatever you want.

Corner camping is a legitimate and awesome strategy in Call of Duty

I think that's awesome. Yeah, it's great. You find a good spot where you kill... corner camping. I ended up winning. It was great.

The NFL will officially announce starting quarterbacks for the Browns and Colts this week

I think we're gonna get starting quarterbacks announced maybe this week... I think we're gonna get announcements from the teams this week of who the starting guys are gonna be in Cleveland [and Indy].

Kevin Stefanski will start Joe Flacco to buy time while Dylan Gabriel and Shedeur Sanders compete for the future

I think what [Kevin Stefanski] is gonna do is start Flacco and then he'll continue to have Gabriel and Sanders kind of like going shot for shot. See, figuring out who the next guy Ups gonna be. Yep. And he's gonna buy himself a couple weeks by having Flacco start.

Matthew Stafford will miss a few games this season due to injury

I think [Matthew Stafford] can start and finish the season, but I think he'll probably miss a couple games inside the season.

Betting on Tommy Fleetwood to win the FedEx Cup is a guaranteed loss

I believe in Rob [with two Bs] more than Tommy. I do not believe in Tommy... This is going to be a good bet because he's going to get down to like plus 300 at some point, plus 200. We'll be like, great bet. And then he's going to lose.

MLB realignment and getting rid of the American and National Leagues would be a mistake

Shut the fuck up. Get the fuck out of my clubhouse, Rob [Manfred]... I actually think they should do the opposite. They should get rid of Interleague play... Dial it back, but don't get rid of the leagues. That would be a mistake.

Mike Vrabel breaking up fights is a culture changer for the Browns

Mike Vrabel has broken up a fight at training camp. I love this. Yeah. So Vrabel broke up another fight. Dove in... I love that vrs is doing this... that's culture. That's a culture changer.

The government should intervene to force streaming services into a bundled sports package

If you wanna be a sports fan in America, you are paying a shit load of money... You have to get all these streaming packages. I think the government is gonna try to break 'em up... or force them to merge bundle into a bundle back to cable.

The government will eventually force streaming services back into bundled packages for sports fans

I think the government is gonna try to break 'em up... or force them to merge bundle into a bundle back to cable... They're gonna bundle 'em. Hopefully that happens soon because it is fucking expensive.

I am officially becoming concerned about Matthew Stafford's availability

Sean McVay last year or last week, he said that Matt Stafford could play in a game if we had one this week. And then today, Sean McVay said, I don't know if Matt Stafford could play right now. So Matt Stafford might have gotten injured in the hypothetical game that he could have played last week. I'm thinking about becoming concerned about Matt Stafford.

A cracked or shattered iPhone screen is incredibly sexy

The cracked iPhone. It is so sexy... when her iPhone screen is so shattered that she's got like tiny little cuts and abrasions on her thumb from using it. It's so hot. Hot. I got utterly unusable.

MGK objectively has bangers and I'm officially coming out as a fan.

MGK Dropped an album on Friday. It's good... I really dislike how much I respect MGK as an artist... He objectively has bangers. Yeah, I agree. He's, he's got good songs... I'm out. I'm officially, I'm coming out. I'm an MGK fan.

You have to be smarter in the year 2025 than to fall for Paul Finebaum's WWE act.

If you get mad at Paul Finebaum at this point and you don't understand that, you're just playing into the WWE act of Paul Finebaum... you gotta be smarter in the year 2025 to be able to fall for Paul Finebaum's trap. It just, you gotta be better.

I will cut my penis off if Rutgers is ever ranked #1 in football

I said when Greg Schiano was announced as the head coach of Rutgers, that if... Rutgers is ever ranked number one in football, I will cut my penis off. I feel good about that bet, actually.

I would not be dismayed to see Tanner McKee starting week one in the NFL

Tanner McKee is that dude, I could see him starting in the NFL. I would not be dismayed to see him starting week one.

If you can throw a golf ball 200 yards, you can probably break 90 on a golf course

I honestly think if you could throw a golf ball 200 yards, you could probably break 90 on a golf course. Just throwing the ball. Like he might be, what would that put you at? Probably like around 80. You could probably break 80 maybe.

The NFL only banned smelling salts because they can mask the symptoms of a concussion

The reason why they banned [smelling salts] originally was because it's been shown that it can mask the symptoms of an actual concussion, which you think no, duh. That's what I was saying. The Josh Allen Texans game. That was the moment where they were like, oh, he got concussed and then he just hit the smelling salts and was back in.

The Yankees should bring back Joe Torre and their old facial hair policy

The year where they decide to change their entire facial hair policy and grooming standards, things go downhill. They should go back to a manager that doesn't manage just off a spreadsheet. They need, they might need to bring back the no facial hair and Joe Torre all in the same.

A quarterback with long hair will never win a Super Bowl

If you have long hair, you can't win a Super Bowl as a quarterback. Never been done.

I can win the Internet Invitational golf tournament

I shot a 44 on the front today. I'm telling you guys, I think I can win the Internet Invitational. I think I can.

Hard Knocks is just a 45-minute commercial for whatever team they are profiling

Hard Knocks is just gonna be like a 45 minute commercial for whatever team they happen to be profiling because otherwise no teams would ever do it and the NFL wouldn't allow it.

I am 'pre-sad' for Bills fans because they won't win the Super Bowl despite their hope

I'm pre-sad because it, it is just, it's kind of, it's great to watch Bills fans. I love Bills fans... But the belief and the hope that they have, like, this is our year. We're finally gonna get done... I'm pretty sad for them. Yeah. And I hope that I'm wrong. I I hope that I'm wrong, but I am pre-sad.

Roger Goodell is banning smelling salts now just to trade them back for an 18th game in the next CBA

You know what Goodell's probably doing, this is probably one of those things where he is getting ready for the next CBA already... He's taking away smelling salts and then he is gonna say, I'll give you back smelling salts if you play an 18th game.

The NFL owning a 10% stake in ESPN will make it much harder for other media companies to interview players

I'm glad that florio's all over this, but I, I don't know what differences we're gonna see, but I do think that the NFL is going to make it way less likely for other media companies to conduct interviews with NFL players.

The NCAA voting not to expand the tournament is just a way to move the Overton window for next year

They're, they put this out there being like, Hey, we're not gonna do it. Knowing that now it's, it's they moved the Overton window. Where now we're talking about the expansion and next year they're probably gonna let it in.

Mike McDaniel's comments about being closer to death signal bad vibes for the Dolphins

Mike McDaniel's in a press conference yesterday said that today's a great day because we're one day closer to death... Do you think things are going well with the Miami Dolphins right now? Bad vibes.

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

Cal Raleigh should be the AL MVP

I'm not concerned with the NL race. I'm more concerned Cal Raleigh should be AL MVP. I just feel very strongly.

The WNBA is likely throwing dildos on their own court for ratings

I have a stay woke. I think the WNBA is throwing dildos onto their own court. Get the ratings up.

Tom Brady wearing any Raiders logo makes him look cool instantly

It basically confirms that anyone who puts on any Raiders logos look cool all the time. The silver and black, he looks cool.

The new 'Hawkeye' tracking technology in the NFL is just AI slop that doesn't solve anything.

The Hawkeye, they're putting tennis in our football. They mixed tennis in with football. And what they did was, on the first down, they showed the AI slop 3D cam that they hit a button and then they put a graphic on the screen and then the yellow line appears on the screen. The yellow line. That's, that's not new technology. The ball is still spotted by the refs. So it doesn't really have anything to do with anything.

I am 111% confident that the Commanders will get a contract extension done with Terry McLaurin.

[The 110% confidence] went up better today. [It's at] 111. The request of a trade actually got me more confident that it's gonna be done. It makes me want more. That's probably what he is doing.

The Super Bowl window for the Commanders is officially closed if Terry McLaurin is traded.

Terry is the perfect teammate. He's an awesome guy, great football player. His numbers last year were incredible. You need him. If you want to be inside the Super Bowl, if, if Terry's not on the team, I think I might have to exclude this year from the Super Bowl window. 'cause we're in the window. I'm not thinking soupy, I'm not saying we're going to the win Super Bowl. You're in the, but we're in the window. If he's not on the team, I, this is not a window year.

I am officially back in on the San Diego Padres as World Series contenders.

I might be back in on the Padres. I feel like it's every time a year for me when I start thinking about the Padres and I was thinking about 'em today. Great bull[pen]. They had maybe the best bullpen last year and their bullpen's better.

You should never eat salad because salads are killers.

Don't eat salad. Salads are killers. [Dustin May] almost died. He choked on a salad, went down the wrong pipe... then he had Tommy John right after that. Happy he is with us. Don't eat salad.

LeBron James will retire from the NBA to start his own international league and destroy the NBA.

LeBron James is just gonna start his own league. He's gonna retire from the NBA... and he's gonna start an international league and then he's gonna try to destroy the NBA.

I'm optimistic the Commanders will get a deal done with Terry McLaurin

I got a chance to talk to Adam Peters today for a little bit... I'm optimistic things get done. I did my best. I tried to negotiate with Adam... mainly devolved into me telling him how good Jayden was.

Jako Croskey-Merritt is going to be awesome.

I think the Commanders' rookie running back Jako Croskey-Merritt—he goes by the name Bill, which is pretty cool—Bill is gonna be fucking awesome. Six round pick... He is smooth as fuck... That dude is gonna be good. Adam Peters did tell me like he might be the guy.

Planet Earth needs an alien invasion to unite humanity

I've said that about wars and aliens. I think Planet Earth could use a good alien invasion because we're sick of beating each other up. It would unite us. We're sick of hitting each other. We wanna take out [the aliens].

Luka Doncic's weight loss makes him the epitome of male fitness.

Luca is skinny. He looks great. He looks awesome. Credit to Nico [Harrison]... He is on the cover of Men's Fitness right now. So he went from being traded because he was too fat to play sports to being the epitome of male fitness. Good for him.

The Baltimore Orioles have the best color scheme and logo in all of baseball

Orioles sneaky have like the best color scheme in baseball... and logo.