Takes

The Phillies' loss to the Dodgers is the worst in playoff history since Bill Buckner

It's the worst loss in playoff history since Bill Buckner. He should have gone to first. That is a play that you would be shocked to see on a little league field.

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

Aaron Judge showed bad leadership by leaving the All-Star Game early

Bad leadership by Aaron Judge at the All Star Game. [Ohtani and Judge] were probably on a plane... it did feel like the National League manager was trying to win harder than the American League manager.

Every baseball game should be decided by a swing-off

I like the swing off. The end of game is great. I want everything decided by swing offs now. Regular season baseball games swing off... child custody hearings swing off.

I am officially the best bunter in Major League Baseball history

I do say this though. I do say I'm the best bunter in major league history... I had one bunt attempt got it down. So. Anytime big situations, I always say I'm the best bunner in major league history. You ready to, can't take that away from me. I'm one for one.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he hasn't won a World Series

I would go even further and say he's [Aaron Judge] not a true Yankee. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still not a true Yankee... You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October.

Zach Hampel is the best of all time at ball-hawking and deserves respect for his greatness

Listen, I, I know Zach Hampel's a very controversial, actually, he's not controversial. Everyone just hates him. He's, he's the best to ever do it... When did we stop respecting greatness?... He's literally the best to ever do it. What he does, he is the best of all time at.

The Phillies are dead and they are a soft baseball team

The Phillies are dead... The Phillies are a soft baseball team. The Mets are a hard baseball team. They're a tough baseball team. They come back from things. And the Phillies just don't, they just die.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he doesn't perform in October

I don't think he's a true Yankee, Big Cat, which is so funny to say because he's objectively one of the best hitters of his entire generation... but not a true Yankee because true Yankees, they get it done in October.

The New York Yankees need to extend Aaron Boone immediately to show they believe in him

I think that you have to give Aaron Boone an extension and show that you believe in him. And then the rest of the the clubhouse is gonna truly believe in him too. Then you'll be fine.

The MLB should allow players suspended for steroids back early if they win the Home Run Derby

Our idea that we had last year was one of the best, which is if you test positive for steroids, you can get out of your suspension by winning the Home Run Derby.

I wish I had used steroids during my MLB career

I look back now, I go, fuck, I wish I would've done 'em. Yeah. To be honest with you. I wish I would've because I, I don't think I would've, I I think I would've gained velocity. You know, I, I, I think in that aspect, so with my ability to throw strikes, I think it would've made me a lot better.

Pete Alonzo is the biggest loser in sports during the Home Run Derby

Pete Alonzo with the home run Derby is the worst. He is the biggest loser in sports when the Home Run Derby comes around. ... He, dude, he gets laser focused. He meditates backstage. He goes into like a little panic room by himself in between rounds and just focuses and visualize home runs. And the home run derby isn't even that fun anymore.

Major League Baseball should get rid of all stats from the pre-integration era

I actually think you should just get rid of all old stats pre-integration because that was ma the major league stats are also tainted. You kept out because you kept out some of the best players. You've deliberately kept them out. You shouldn't be able to count those as those the like the number one stats.

I will pay for John Fisher's hair restoration if he appears on the podcast

John Fisher because you're a bald fuck. Big Cat will pay for your hair restoration for one appearance on Pardon My Take. Because he is bald. Take it. You bald bitch.

I am officially over no-hitters

I'm so over no hitters. Remember when no hitters used to be like you, they'd even go to bonus coverage... I became over no hitters at right at opening Day 2023.

Babe Ruth would stink if he played in the MLB today

If you had Babe Ruth playing baseball today right now, he would stink... I think if you gave Babe Ruth this guy with immense physical talent, the ability to adjust, then he would be a really good baseball player. But if you took 1927 Babe Ruth and dropped him into the big leagues today, he'd be down in AAA.

MLB's transparent pants are a clever way for the league to stay relevant

This was smart by the MLB. 'Cause we're talking about him. Way to stay relevant baseball. Just make some shitty uniforms that have everyone's balls showing.

The Blue Jays should be eliminated from the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes for leaking their meeting

It came out that Shhe... visiting with the Blue Jays. And I think by Sho Hays rules, the blue Jay should be eliminated. See you buddy. See you. Blue Jays. What?

The MLB will change the rules to help the Dodgers if they get swept again

Only thing I fear is that if the Dodgers lose again, they're 100% gonna get the rules changed to make it so that the Dodgers can be like automatically in the NLCS. 'Cause this would be back to back years.

The Yankees should extend both Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman

I think they should extend Aaron Boone. Yeah. I think he's the steady hand and Cashman. I think Aaron Boone is a steady hand that the Yankees need to control their franchise. ... We official vote of confidence as they should extend both of them. Yes.

If the Orioles suspend their announcer for stating facts, they should also suspend the production truck and PR team

You're suspending the broadcaster for stating those facts. Where did he get those facts from? The truck. ... Where did the truck get those facts from? The team's pr game notes in that case. Suspend all of them. ... If you're gonna just suspend him, you gotta suspend everyone else involved with making that decision of making these facts come to light.

Philadelphia fans giving Trea Turner a standing ovation is strategic and genius

Philly being the big sports town that they are... rallied together and said instead of booing [Trea Turner], we're going to give him a standing ovation every time he gets to the plate... all of our boos are strategic... that's just like us being a very smart sports town and knowing that.

Shohei Ohtani took the coward's way out by staying with the Angels

After the pressure of the trade deadline gets lifted, he decided to stay with the Angels. A team that has no expectations on it. That's interesting. He took the coward's way out. Is he afraid of the bright lights? If I was Shohei Ohtani, I would be demanding a trade to the New York Yankees or the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Shohei Ohtani's viral bat flip against the Yankees was awkward and forced

I'll stand by this take. I didn't think it was a good flip. He looked awkward. It looked like an awkward bat flip. Everyone was freaking out about it. I thought he looked awkward. It didn't look natural. It looked like he forced that bat flip.

The Home Run Derby should replace the kids in the outfield with fat, drunk adults who we can laugh at for getting hit

I'd rather, if it weren't kids out there, why not just get a bunch of fat like college 20 to 30 year old kids, guys drunk as hell. Fat, like sloppy fat, just falling on their face, getting hit with balls, all that stuff. Cuz then we can laugh as a country, we can laugh at them.

Players caught using steroids should be able to win their freedom back by winning the Home Run Derby

I was thinking that they could incorporate a rule change where if a player gets busted for steroids, they could then elect compete in the home run Derby to win their freedom to win their way out. If they win the home run Derby, they get to come back for the rest of the year and they get to continue using steroids for the rest of the year.

Christian Yelich is on pace to hit zero home runs this year

Christian Yelich is on pace to hit zero home runs this year. Love to hear it. Fraud. No power in that guy.

Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from his cat, which is why he's messing up player names

Keith Hernandez has toxoplasmosis from living with his cat. Oh. That's why he's messing up names. But I mean, is it really a mess up? Because Chaz Chisholm [Jazz Chisholm] is just a Hall of fame name.

The Yankees are a bad franchise

Congratulations the Red Sox, the Phillies, the Cubs and the Nationals have all gone to the World Series and the Yankees have not... That's a bad franchise. No hiding from it. It's a bad franchise.

The Astros should start cheating again to beat the Yankees in the ALCS

If I'm the Astros, I start cheating again. Like I want, I want them to just beat the fuck outta the Yankees and then to have the Yankees just looking around like what the, what the hell just happened to us? I want spin rates to be off the chart this series.

The Dodgers' 2020 World Series title doesn't count

The Dodgers have not won anything. We can We agree The bubble, the bubble championship didn't, didn't count.

New York is a bad sports town because Yankees fans celebrate team records too much

This is embarrassing that [Yankees fans] are celebrating this hard when they just went down from four to three in the bottom of the ninth. Are the Yankees a bad sports town? Yes... I just don't get all the hoopla around it... Whatever, it's a team record. He's going for a team record.

Albert Pujols' late-career home run surge is suspicious and 'not normal'

Albert Pujols, 42 years old. July 4th he was hitting .189. And since then he leads the league in batting average and has like 11 homers. That's totally normal... Why does Sam Querrey not do fucking drugs before he retires? He should have done some fucking Winstrol.

MLB should cover up steroid use for players who are great for the game

David Ortiz was like, they, they just shouldn't suspend him because he's so good at baseball. And he is a face of the game... That's actually that's that makes more sense than what his own dad is doing. David Ortiz is right. It's like, if you're awesome at baseball, they should just cover it up.

The Yankees suck and won't even make the playoffs

They suck. Blow up the team. They won't even make the playoffs. [The Yankees] suck. It's been the same team five years in a row.

The pitcher-catcher chemistry is overrated; catchers are pros

I think it's ridiculous when guys have to have a certain catcher behind the plate. I think it's stupid. As long as you got a catcher's mitt behind the plate and you've gone over the hitters with me in the pre-game meeting and we're on the same page, I don't give a shit... some of these starting pitchers need to take a step back and maybe take some of the blame... If you're in the big leagues, your job description is the same as the next guy.

O'Neil Cruz has a chance to be the best baseball player of all time

Someone told me that I trust who has good baseball knowledge said that there's a 5.5% chance he could end up being the best baseball player of all time... think about it, you're like, oh fuck, I gotta pay attention. He's six foot seven... is it true that he runs like Tyreek Hill? He's so fast. And then he threw from shortstop to first base... 97 [mph].

The ceremonial first pitch should count in the game as a ball or strike

The first pitch should count. It should count as a ball or strikes. How great would that be though? So the home team always gets to pick the first pitcher and someone will like air mail it... so the first batter gets up there and it's a 1-0 count. It wouldn't actually change any outcomes... but it would add a fun wrinkle.

The MLB Home Run Derby was rigged for Albert Pujols

MLB homerun, Derby rigged. Big time. One of Albert Pujols' home runs should not have counted. He also, his pitcher had not even started his wind up when the clock hit zero and then Schwarber may or may not have had dinger taken off the board because they couldn't keep track of all the balls in the air.

MLB might rig the Home Run Derby for Albert Pujols by giving him 'good balls'

I do think there's a pretty good chance that they might rig it for Albert Pujols. He might get the good balls.

Pirates shortstop O'Neil Cruz is the most electric player in baseball

This guy might be the most electric player I've ever seen in my life. 6'7" he's a shortstop. He ran 31.5 miles per hour. Hardest throw by an infielder in Major League Baseball this year, he threw a ball from shortstop to first 96.7 miles per hour. I am buying all my stock and O'Neil Cruz right now.

Reds fans should defecate in the Toyota Tundra at the stadium to protest the owner

A Reds fan posted yesterday saying... 'I will be scaling the wall to defecate in the bed of the Toyota Tundra.' I just liked that Reds fans are fighting back. This is how you fight... maybe it will make people go shit in their trucks.

Jacob deGrom is the best starting pitcher to ever play the game

I think [Jacob deGrom] is the best starting pitcher to ever put on the uniform... just what he's able to do with the baseball... it's just, I think he's in his own league. And I hope he stays healthy for another 15 years because if he can do that, I think it'll be the best ever.

Derek Jeter sabotaged the Marlins on purpose

I, you know what I agree with Marlins man. Yeah. I think Jeter fucked up the Marlins on purpose.

MLB will realize people don't miss baseball as much as they think if the lockout continues

If baseball doesn't start the season and play a full season, they're going to learn very quickly that they miscalculated the world's need for baseball. I wouldn't notice fully until like late June and be like, where the fuck is my baseball?

Home runs are going to increase because MLB stopped testing for steroids

My cool throne are yobbos, dingers, home runs, whatever you want to call them. Because for the first time in 20 years, Major League Baseball is stopping testing its players for steroids... I love it. Everybody use the ball and juice to go back and forth.

Babe Ruth would not even be a Double-A player in today's game

I saw a video, someone found a video of like 19-whatever the fuck he was born, he had a shitty swing. He looked slow and fat. If he was in today's day and age, he wouldn't even fucking be in AA. Who the fuck out of him put down field stands that I'm taking away his pinstripes. I'd probably strike him out.

The Red Sox would have beaten the Braves if they made the World Series

Absolutely. Absolutely. Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. Thank you. 2021 World Series champions.

I could easily hit home runs off Little League World Series pitchers

I'd love to fucking just Jack home runs off these little kids. This guy throws Gavin Weir could strike me out. Yes... But if you go up against one of the guys that's throwing 70 miles an hour, I would absolutely be able to take a lefty. I could go yard off a lefty that's throwing 70 miles an hour.