Takes

The investigation into the 49ers substation being a health risk is not over yet

My who's back is first the 49ers substation because John Lynch came out and said that they hired an independent scientist... he basically said it was a big nothing burger. I feel like we're not gonna, this isn't the end of the story. Especially with the fact that he said that with nothing burger. Is that a scientifical?

Tom Brady could still throw for 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns in the NFL right now

Tom Brady... It's football. They had the flag football event this past weekend. Tom Brady played in it. I mean, he could go out next year in the league and probably get 4,000 yards, 30 touchdowns.

If NFL players practiced for two weeks, they would easily beat the best professional flag football team

I think that if you gave the pros like a solid two weeks of practice with coaches that coach flag football, I think the pros could be better. Yeah. But it would take like... there are differences in the game. But yeah, if you gave them two weeks, they'd win.

NFL players should not be confident in their union representation with JC Tretter as NFLPA head

He's a moron. So it looks like Roger Goodell now has his doofus set up as they go into the next CBA. If I was an NFL player, I would not be too confident about my representation right now.

The NFL will choose the Cowboys to play the Seahawks in the season opener

I'll go cowboys... I'm gonna bet that they just cowboys. They smashed the Cowboys button. They love that shit. Cowboys Giants Sunday night football. They love that shit.

Jets owner Woody Johnson is a failure who needs to go

Woody Johnson just, you know, he's gotta go... He's in the [Epstein] files. Yeah, he's in them... Everything they do is lose so you gotta take stuff away.

The NFL should implement a 'Loony Rule' requiring teams to conduct one absurd head coach interview

Instead of the Rooney Rule, we need a Loony Rule where every single team has to do one crazy out of the box interview. Have Pinto Ron come in with his ketchup and his mustard... I watch Cortez get interviewed for the head coaching job... you'll get something out of that conversation that will help you going forward.

The Dolphins should return to their old logo and add a Guardian Cap to the helmeted dolphin

Bring back the old logo with the dolphin that's wearing the helmet. Except have the dolphin also be wearing a guardian cap. I think that would be very cool. That'd be an excellent logo.

Mark Davis would 100% hire Chris Angel as head coach if the NFL implemented a 'Loony Rule' for interviews

Chris Angel... for the Raiders head coaching job. [A] Loony rule. Chris Angel doing mind freak shit in front of Mark Davis. He, Mark Davis would hire him. He'd hire him. He would a hundred percent hire him.

Tom Brady is 'all class' for posting his $563,000 Patek Philippe watch before going into the broadcast booth

Tampa Bay Buccaneers legend Tom Brady... took to Instagram today to remind us that he's all class. Before hopping into the booth, he posted... big game, big watch. He hit us with the Patek Philippe Aquanaut. [It's worth] like 563,000. And this is just a casual before game like, Hey guys, stepping into the booth.

Pete Carroll will be fired during Black Monday

Pete Carroll out for sure. Gotta be gone. I don't even know if they have to tell Pete Carroll. I think they just gotta be like, 'Hey man, we'll see you next year' and then just never send him like when the OTAs are.

The Patriots' defensive line is not as legit as the Texans' or Broncos' units

The Patriots aren't like the Texans in terms of a defensive line. No, that's what I'm saying. That's why I was like, 'cause every other team, the Texans, the Broncos, like those defenses are really legit.

Justin Herbert needs to finally win a playoff game to shut up the doubters

I just need Herbert to win a playoff game because every year it's the same fucking shit where it's everyone's hating on Herbert. We need the Chargers to win this shit. I just get my hopes up every year. Fucking 27-nothing lead we fucking blow it.

The Buccaneers will beat the Lions in Detroit next week.

Early prediction for the game without them playing any plays is gonna be Buccaneers win in Detroit.

Winning against the Commanders would be the threshold for starting to take the Bears' playoff chances seriously

If [the Bears] can find a way to win this game [against the Commanders], then I'll maybe start, maybe thinking to start thinking about playoffs. Still two steps away. And if they lose, it's gonna be like, let's see what happens.

If you care about the Super Bowl halftime show, you're not a football guy

I'll say it. If you have a hot take, a really strong opinion about the Super Bowl halftime show, you're not a fucking football guy. You showed yourself. You're an anti-football pussy. You gotta watch film at halftime. You gotta figure out what to bet in the second half.

London should host a Super Bowl and it would be a cool event for the sport

The British ambassador of the US is pushing for a Super Bowl in London. I am down for it... I just think London would be a cool city for a Super Bowl. Better than San Francisco. It'd be a cool event, fun week.

I refuse to support the global expansion of the NFL because I only care about American fans

I honestly don't care if, if, if other countries watch football or not, like this whole, like global expansion of football, do not care. I watch football with my friends in America. I don't give a fuck what they watch over there.

I would literally kill a man for Mike Vrabel

I'm there, [Mike] Vrabel. I'm already there. I would literally kill a man for Mike Vrabel.

Tom Brady wearing any Raiders logo makes him look cool instantly

It basically confirms that anyone who puts on any Raiders logos look cool all the time. The silver and black, he looks cool.

Jim Irsay was the first NFL owner with the 'balls' to stand up to Dan Snyder

I will never forget the fact that he is the first owner to have the balls to say fuck you to Dan Snyder when Snyder threatened to blackmail every other owner. And he goes, yeah, try me. 'cause everything that I've done is out in the open.

Abdul Carter is a loser for trying to take the retired numbers of Lawrence Taylor and Phil Simms

Is Abdul Carter a loser? I it's very weird. A weird tumble guy of all time... to on day one, go into your new company and be like, I want the numbers of the two most famous guys that everybody loves. Lawrence Taylor... then he's like, all right, how about Phil Simms? No, pick your own number man.

Aaron Rodgers will announce his signing with the Steelers on Pat McAfee's live show

The theory is that Aaron Rodgers is waiting for [Pat McAfee's Pittsburgh show] to come out on stage and say I'm going to be a Pittsburgh Steeler to fuck over the mainstream media. Which I would love. That would be awesome... I kind of like every now and then a player stealing it from the insiders and being like, I control my own message.

JJ Watt will come out of retirement to play for the Cincinnati Bengals

JJ Watt is back. He is probably going to come out of retirement to play for the Bengals... I'm rooting for that to happen. I think he would be able to do it.

If the Bears had drafted Patrick Mahomes, he would look as bad as he did in Super Bowl 59 every single game.

I saw an insult tweet tonight that hurt me, but also was very accurate. It said, if you ever wondered what it would look like if the Bears had drafted Patrick Mahomes, [this is what it looks like]. So that was an insult tweet. I think he was just stating the fact that this is what it would look like.

I'm back on the Patriots bandwagon because of the Mike Vrabel hire

My who's back of the week are the New England Patriots... they signed Mike Vrabel and they're back. They're, they're, they're on the path. The path of glory is back.

Mike Vrabel is a fraud who relied on Prime Derrick Henry

Mike Vrabel is proof that one smart clock management moment in a nationally televised game buys you five to 10 years of NFL media thinking you're a great coach... Prime Derrick Henry is not walking through the Patriots door... He was a Derrick Henry merchant.

The NFL should not change the playoff format to strip division winners of home games

NFL might change the playoff format where division winners get an automatic entry but not necessarily home field in the first round. This would suck. NFL is what makes the NFL great. Winning your division should mean a lot. Don't overreact to one year.

Jayden Daniels will play against the Bears because he knows the importance of the matchup for the podcast.

Jane [Jayden] Daniels gonna play because he knows how much this means to us as a podcast. I think that he, that thought has gone through his mind.

I can successfully kick a 44-yard field goal with two months of training.

I think I can get to 44 yards if I give myself two months of training. Hank dunking, me kicking a 44 yard field goal. I'm gonna try to work the leg back up.

The Rams are going to make the playoffs

I would actually be a little bit nervous about that [the Rams win]... because the Rams won this game. And it Sean McVay. Yeah. They've literally proven they can win a Super Bowl. They're gonna get healthy. Correct. Correct. They're gonna make the playoffs.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl

Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. Guaranteed. Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. That's, I I believe it end the season. Tip of the pinky. If the Falcons somehow win this game on Monday night, I have to also have the Rams.

Jameis Winston is worth $4 million a year just for his pre-game speeches and vibes

His pre-game speech videos continued to go viral... he gets paid $4 million a year and I think if he only acts as a motivational speaker, he's worth $4 million a year to have on retainer. It is worth paying Jameis Winston $4 million a year just for vibes.

John Gruden is secretly advising the Chiefs and is effectively on their coaching staff

John Gruden was at Chiefs practice today... he was wearing a Chiefs uniform and he was advising Chiefs coaches. Whoa. So I think John Gruden might be secretly on the Chiefs' coaching staff now. He's like Mid-hat right now with the Chiefs.

NFL training camp is officially back because Lamar Jackson has diarrhea

The only other thing I had was Lamar has diarrhea again. Yeah. That's how we know football's officially back. Lamar Jackson missed the first day of training camp. He had to be sent home because his butt hurt.

Spring football (UFL) will never be relevant because the sports calendar is too crowded

I'm, I've never been more confident in my take that spring football. I just don't care. I, I feel very good about that because I've, every, every few years they try to pop one up and be like, you should care. I respect the sports calendar more than anything. This is March Madness. This is gonna be masters. This is gonna be NBA and NHL playoffs. Football is king. I love football more than anything, but not spring football.

AI and Hawkeye technology for NFL first downs will make the sport less fun

I don't like it at all. ... People are always like, oh, we're we're measuring like this billion dollar industry with a chain and sticks held by old retired guys on the sideline. Yeah. That's part of why it rocks. ... If you put AI into sports and you make robot umps and robot referees, you are depriving men of somewhere between 50 and 75% of the conversations they have with each other. ... What the fuck are we gonna talk about?

The NFL should never remove the 'sneak attack' onside kick

I don't like the onside kick thing where you can only do it when you're down and you have to declare that you're doing it. ... The sneak attack, onside kick is awesome. We shouldn't take that away.

Baker Mayfield should have won the 2023 Comeback Player of the Year award

I still think it should have been Baker [Mayfield]. I think Baker should have won that. He won a playoff game.

Patrick Mahomes needs to fully embrace his impending 'villain mode'

He's [Mahomes] flipping into villain mode, which he's not becoming a dick. But at some point you have to embrace [it].

Jim Harbaugh will leave Michigan for the NFL after this season

I think that him accepting his punishment is a sign. He might be on the outs, which I'm excited for. Except he might go to the Chargers, which I'm not excited for.

Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins will be incredible during the 2023 season

Kirk Cousins looks great. Yeah, he does. Have you seen the mustache? He looks awesome... I'm in on 'em.

The Texans offense will be much better than people think this year

He's [John Metchie] back in training camp. He looks awesome. ... I'm just saying, I think, I think the Texans on offense this year are gonna be way better than we think. I like Stroud.

Travis Kelce is a pussy for fighting Jack Cochrane in training camp

Jack Cochrane's the dude who pissed off Travis Kelce. So shout out that guy for exposing Travis Kelce for being a pussy. ... That was getting into it. 'cause he got hit once just like a little bit after the play and he got pissed off.

John Ross was too fast for football

John Ross... he retired. ... Too fast for football. ... I actually think that like this guy wasn't that fast when you made it like the average speed. He was just super fast. Straight line. ... He was a gadget guy that just made him run really fast in a straight line and that that was the only thing he could do.

The Ravens will win the Super Bowl

I see a play like that. I'm like, Raven Super Bowl. Yes I have. I have the Ravens for the Super Bowl. I've bought into the hype. It won't burn me at all.

NFL teams should not be allowed to wear throwback uniforms from a city they moved away from

The Houston Oilers are back. The Tennessee Titans unveiled their throwback uniforms... if you move your team to a different city, you can take those colors. I get that. But you can never actually put on the Houston Oilers... uniform... You're neither Houston nor Oilers. And they're iconic. They're great... It sucks. It sucks.

There is a 25% chance Dan Snyder does not sell the Commanders

I'm realizing that there's probably like a 25% possibility that he does stick around for the rest of my life. Owns the team... and I'll probably die before he does.

The Green Bay Packers are in trouble because Jordan Love is a moron.

Jordan Love posted a video today... he said Happy Father's Day to all Bears fans out there. Jordan Love is a fucking moron. So Jordan love basically called Bears fans his dad. And it was like the first moment that I've had in a very long time where I was like, Ooh, I think things might be changing... The Packers are in trouble.

The Cowboys will pretend to be in on DeAndre Hopkins before he signs with the Bills

I bet you the Cowboys are going to make their fans believe that they're in the Hopkins running until like the very last second and then he is gonna sound with the bills.