Takes

Conor McDavid's team-friendly contract was designed to make him easily tradable to a contender

This seems like it would be very easily tradable. Very, very easily tradable contract. He basically, I mean smart by him. If in a year and a half the Oilers aren't competing and he can go somewhere for a year and a half and it doesn't fuck up some team's cap.

The Blackhawks should hold a press conference to protect Connor Bedard from rumors

The Black Hawks should do a better job of making sure they protect Connor Bedard at all costs. And you're, he's your franchise player. Maybe just do a press conference and explain what happened [with Corey Perry].

Connor McDavid is a 'coach killer'

Is Connor McDavid a coach killer? Big Cat, 'cause this is coach number four I think for him... I'm gonna say that he's a coach killer. Just because it's fun and I have no idea if it's true or not, but it's always good to just slap that label on a really good player.

The NHL conference final matchups are absolute duds

Hot seat to have a couple. Yeah. First one is NHL. The conference finals. Absolute dud. Matchups. Absolute dud. It's Dallas verse Vegas. Carolina versus Florida.

I am buying Blackhawks season tickets because of Connor Bedard

I watched a highlight video. There's like a 20 minute highlight video I was watching and I did buy season tickets. I hope everyone here likes to go to hockey games. Cause we're gonna go to a lot of hockey games. I got swept up. I mean he looks, I, I know there's a lot of pressure on him, but he does feel like a can't miss guy.

The NHL should rig the draft lottery for major markets

If you're the NHL, you should absolutely rig the draft. Duh. This is entertainment. Yes. Listen, you're a multi-billion dollar corporation. Do you want your best players to be playing for teams that nobody cares about? Yeah. No you don't. You want them in Chicago.

Canadians run funny because they skate from such a young age and don't look like athletes when they are off the ice

The chaos are a team of Canadians and what's really funny is they all run funny because they're all Canadians and Canadians all run funny cuz they all played hockey. Yeah. So you see them trotting around. This is true... hockey development from skating from such a young age and they don't run. Right. This is true. I've never seen hockey players like play pickup basketball... they don't even look like they athlete off the ice.

The NHL beat writer who celebrated with the Stanley Cup should be fired for a lack of integrity

There was a Colorado Avalanche beat writer that picked up the Stanley Cup and celebrated with the team and called it one of the best nights of his life. And frankly he should be executed. Yeah. Send him to the LIV tour. They should chop his head off. That's not what journalism is supposed to be in America. It's supposed to be fearless truth tellers, impartial scribes.

High taxes in Minnesota and Canada prevent their NHL teams from landing top free agents

My cool throne is Minnesota and Canada. The reason why they can't land good free agents to make their hockey teams good is because of taxes.

We are bringing the Stanley Cup back to Canada by betting on the Flames and Maple Leafs

Big Cat: I've decided I put a future on the Calgary Flames. I'm going to bring a cup to Canada personally... PFT: I'm on the Leafs already. That's the place I'm at. This is their year. ... Big Cat: I just want to bring a cup to the fine people of Canada because I'm sick of them not having a cup. ... PFT: I did also take out a future on the Leafs. I think that they can do it this year.

The Winter Olympics ratings decline is due to a lack of NHL pros in hockey

The average total audience was 11.4 million viewers for the 2022. And that's a sharp decline... I'm convinced it's the hockey like it's, it's it's hockey, not having the pros and not having it as like a tentpole.

The 2022 Winter Olympics are failing because the NHL players aren't participating

The Olympics are a fucking fact that hockey, like the pros don't play. That's what draws everyone in. Like if team USA was playing Russia tomorrow morning, we would wake up and watch it. We'd wake up and watch it.

The NHL should fix long overtimes by making coaches skate 3-on-3 and eventually playing 1-on-1

The fix is you start overtime five-on-five, second overtime four-on-four, third overtime three-on-three and then if you get all the way to the fifth overtime, it's just one-on-one... They should third overtime make the coaches put on skates. I would love to see Tortorella get checked on the open ice.

The 5-overtime NHL game was caused by bad ice in Toronto

I personally blame the blame the ice in Toronto for the 5:00 overtime game.

Hockey is the only sport where an emergency backup goalie like a Zamboni driver can actually enter a professional game and win.

David Ayers, the NHL goalie who was like a Zamboni driver that they called in and asked him to start a game, he won the game... It's the only sport that can have this happen... it's the only sport where a goalie can be a guy just driving a Zamboni. Let's throw him in an emergency.

Half the internet will hate whatever name the Seattle hockey team chooses

Whatever they're going to name [the Seattle hockey team], prediction, whatever they're going to name it, half the people on the internet are going to be mad. Half the people are going to like it just like their jerseys.

Blackhawks GM Stan Bowman will be fired if he doesn't fix the team quickly after firing Joel Quenneville

Because now, Stan Bowman, you're on the hot seat. If you get a guy fired, you better fix it fast. Otherwise, you're going to get fired.

The NHL should outlaw keg stands on the Stanley Cup because they compromise its structural integrity

The NHL is considering outlawing keg stands on the Stanley Cup. That is not fun. The Washington Capitals have done too many keg stands on it, and they've compromised the structural integrity.

Gary Bettman is an expert at drawing attention to every product except for the NHL

Gary [Bettman] is at it again. He scheduled the second round playoff game between the Penguins and the Capitals for Thursday night, right up against the NFL draft. ... He knows how to draw attention to any product but his own.

Evgeni Malkin is a traitor for joining a pro-Putin social campaign

Evgeni Malkin... listen to the balls on this motherfucker. He is joining a pro-Putin social campaign in America... Malkin, as far as I know, is the one who started it. This son of a bitch is basically a traitor. And he's propping up a dictator who goes after journalists.

I'm destined to see Ovechkin win a Stanley Cup with a different team

The Washington Capitals are... Our fans, we're entering cuck territory. And it's Ray Bourque all over again. So I'm destined over the next five years to see Ovechkin win a Stanley Cup with a different team. And for me to cry during it and be like, I'm so glad and applaud him and be like, I'm glad he finally got his chance.

The Capitals and Ovechkin should split up because their regular season success is too good

I do think I am of the mindset that the Capitals and the [Ovechkin] should just be like, you know, hey, maybe this thing isn't working out anymore. Maybe our sex is just too good. Our regular season sex is too good. So we got to split up.