Takes

Sam Darnold's performance in the NFC Championship game was his defining moment as a quarterback.

The way he [Sam Darnold] won the NFC championship game cannot be forgotten because that was probably the Super Bowl... that was his defining win as a quarterback in terms of how he played. He played a perfect game.

Mike McDonald is a defensive wizard who has swung the NFL back toward defensive-minded head coaches.

Mike McDonald is a defensive wizard... For a league that is going in one direction in terms of offensive head coaches, he has completely swung it back and being like, I can scheme up a game. I can have a game plan ready to go.

No one ever needs to actually 'check out' of a hotel

I've never checked out of a hotel in my entire life... The most I've ever done is once in a while... put your room key in here when you leave. Other than that... I think I threw it in the trash.

Indiana winning the National Championship is the greatest story in college football history

The Indiana Hoosiers are national champions of the college football world... it is the craziest story... the greatest story in college football. That is a fact.

CJ Stroud was 'mega ass' against the Patriots

CJ Stroud, CJ Stroud. Little bro ass. Lil bro ass... He was the most ass he's ever been. Wow. It was that ass. And he's been ass before. It was mega ass.

The Bears have a significant special teams advantage over the Rams in the Divisional Round.

I've meant to say that the one place that the Bears have a significant advantage is special teams. The, the Rams have been kind of like, they got a punt blocked. The kicker's been bad. The Bears, Cairo. Santos has been good.

Ovechkin breaking the goal record is a top-tier sports moment

Leading up to the [895th goal], it seemed like there was like 21 games and then 11 goals. He broke his leg and we were like, take your time getting back. He's like, no, two weeks I'll be back on the ice. Being a part of [the goal] was really cool. I mean, I had an assist on 890, 91, 92, 93.

The Miami Hurricanes are officially back

The U, it's all about the U back. Miami Hurricanes are back. Instant classic in the desert. It was what a game.

The 12-team playoff was a success because it allowed Miami to reach the championship

Miami was very close not making these playoffs. So when we say oh, 12 is too much. Yeah, maybe some years 12 would be too much. But this year we needed it because Miami's in the national championship.

The Trae Young trade to the Wizards is the most 'NBA trade' ever because it's only about spreadsheets

It was the most NBA trade of all time. Oh yeah. Because neither team is doing this trade to win a title. No, they're not even really doing it to get better at basketball. They're just shuffling guys... because your spreadsheet could use a guy with that number next to it.

Caleb Williams is a 'big game' quarterback

The thing I'm actually least worried about is I, I think Caleb Williams is like a big game guy. Like, I think he's gonna be ready for this game... I think he's big game Caleb.

The Jaguars are better than the Bills at everything except for having Josh Allen

The Jaguars are better at everything, but they don't have Josh Allen and Josh Allen. You're totally right. When it gets to the playoffs, it's like stuff doesn't hurt anymore... He's liable to go nuclear.

Indiana is definitively a better football team than Alabama

My theory going into it was Indiana is better than Alabama in every single facet of this game. In a seven point spread was so disrespectful to the type of team... No, Indiana's turned it... they're just better than Alabama. Like their dudes are better top to bottom.

The Bears vs. Packers Week 16 game is a must-win for Chicago to avoid playoff uncertainty

This one you gotta win because the Bears are most likely gonna make the playoffs if they lose this game. Then it starts to get, Hey, what's going on here? You start looking at the calculations and the 49ers are a game that's coming up next week and then the Lions in week 18. You don't want to get to a spot where the Lions Week 18 becomes a win and get in.

Mike McDaniel cannot win in cold weather

The Dolphins have lost 13 straight games, including the playoffs, with kickoff temperatures below 40 degrees since 2016. ... He keeps saying that he's not cold and he gets there early to practice in the cold. ... Mentally, physically, in all the ways, the cold has beaten him.

The 'Haters' were right about Jayden Daniels being injury prone

The haters were right. Congratulations. Jayden's shut down for the season. RG4, injury prone, made out of glass. ... Haters were right. Can't say anything to the haters. Focus on next year.

Cooper Flagg is fully activated after his 40-point game

Cooper Flagg may have fully been activated. He has reached full activation. 18 years old. 40 piece in regulation. ... If we're talking just highlight tapes, he's looking good.

The road to the AFC Championship currently goes through Denver

They're now standing alone at the one seed. ... If they have the one seed, I would be nervous. ... The road right now goes through Denver.

The James Madison vs. Oregon playoff game is not a health and safety issue

Bud Elliot said that it was possibly a health and safety issue... he was like, I'm worried for the health and safety of JMU playing against Oregon... Stop saying it's a health and safety issue. Okay... fuck it, let's go win the game.

The Texans are the most dangerous team in the AFC right now

I think the Texans are go 12 and 5. I think they're in the most dangerous team in the AFC right now in terms of just their defense.

LeBron James robbed fans of a hater moment by making the correct basketball play

I feel so robbed by it because [LeBron James] actually made a very selfless play. A game-winning assist for a buzzer beater. I was really hoping that the situation had occurred where he was trying to force it and he cost him the game. He robbed that from us.

The Steelers have become a retirement home for players

The Steelers did sign Adam Thielen today, who is a 2018 pro bowler... Mike Tomlin has gotten to the point where you can just perfectly troll him and predict everything he does... the Steelers are just become a retirement home for, for players. It's crazy.

Michigan is a poorly coached team and Sherrone Moore is a mistake

They are a poorly coached football team in for 2025... they just, they, they're going to a gunfight with a, with a knife. They just can't do it. And Sherrone Moore is, they're wasting their time with Sherrone Moore as the head coach.

The 49ers are good enough to overcome multiple turnovers from Brock Purdy

The to be up at half after your quarterback throwing three interceptions... it just shows that the Niners are starting to, you know, they're they're good enough that they can overcome those things.

James Franklin is leaving a $50 million buyout because he has a competitive drive to coach, not just for the money

I feel like you don't get to a point where you are successful enough to get a $50 million buyout unless you have that like killer instinct, competitive drive. ... James Franklin's going after being an awesome coach, coaching, he needs football to live.

The Commanders are one of the worst teams in the league

I think the Commanders are one of the worst teams in the league. We just lost to the Dolphins... the offense is trash, the defense is also very, very, very bad.

The Bears have officially graduated to being a good team

I do officially think we've graduated to good. We're obviously not great, but we're good for right now. Seven and three. You can't deny that they just find ways to win games.

We are officially done with the Bengals for the 2025 season

Can we be done with the Bengals? ... They're not making the playoffs. Joe Burrow, don't rush back. We're done. I think Bengals fans would agree. We're done with the Bengals this year.

The Jets fleeced the Cowboys in the Quinnen Williams trade

You gotta haul. I would even say memes, I dare say fleeced. I think you fleeced the Cowboys.

Jerry Jones is the biggest loser of the NFL trade deadline

Jerry Jones is the big loser in all of this because he traded for a guy [Quinnen Williams] in on a season that things aren't going well. And then also watched Micah Parsons... it feels like Jerry Jones should have gotten more from Micah Parsons is my big point.

Aaron Glenn is an analytically sound 'math guy' head coach

Aaron Glenn first win as an NFL head coach also Math guy... he showed a couple games that he's a math guy. Yeah. The Bucks game. He went for two... He's an analytically sound, but it worked. He was down 14, late in the game in the fourth quarter. Scored a touchdown, went for two, then scored again. Won the game in regulation with an extra point certified math guy.

Jonathan Taylor should be in the NFL MVP discussion

Jonathan Taylor... should be the MVP... in the discussion at least. He's got 14 touchdowns through eight games. That's, that was the LT 2006 season when it was just every single Sunday.

Aaron Glenn has quit his job as Jets coach

I think [Aaron Glenn]'s quit. I think he's quit. I think he realizes how bad this team is and he's just trying to get games over with, get the first overall pick and then try to get guys in.

Drake Maye might be legit

What if Hank was right about the passing of the torch game? What if, what if Drake Maye has just... I, there is a part of me that's like Drake Maye, might be legit. Legit. And it has less to do with my quarterback, but more to do with the fact that I don't think that America is ready to handle Patriots fans with a big ego. Again.

Aaron Judge's postseason home run is a footnote if the Yankees don't win the series

Aaron Judge hit that home run. Listen, that one foot. I said it. If they [the Yankees] don't win that series, it is a footnote and it is absolutely a footnote.

The Lions might be the best team in football

If you throw that [Packers] game out, you would look at this [Lions] team and be like, they might be the best team in football. Yeah. And I would not, I would not argue with you about that.

The Chiefs have regressed into a normal good football team that loses like everyone else

It's that the Chiefs, they're starting to lose games in ways that are familiar to every other team out there to every other fan base. It's they, they look like all of us now. I'm actually starting to think that it might kind of be their regression back to being just like kind of a normal good football team.

Ohio State's defense is definitively better than it was last year

I do think there is an argument to be made that the defense is better than last year's defense. I think [Jim Knowles] is just confusing the ever living crap out of all the quarterbacks that he has faced so far. ... Once they get to the red zone, they're just absolutely clamping down and not giving up anything.

Aaron Judge will never be a true Yankee unless he wins a World Series

Aaron Judge has to win. He has to. Aaron Judge will not, he will not ever be a true Yankee... [he] has to win a World Series or else. Not a true Yankee. Probably not even. I'll take him out of the Hall of Fame. I won't vote for him.

James Cook is an elite running back who needs more respect

I just wanna respect James Cook more. Since the start of last season, including playoffs, James Cook has 2093 total yards from scrimmage and 26 touchdowns. He has a touchdown in eight straight games this season. He's awesome. I just love watching him run.

The Seahawks are a very good team and their defense is excellent

I think the Seahawks are good. I think their defense is very good and, and I I just think they're good. Like I, I, I, I'm high on the Seahawks and I'm low on the Cardinals.

The Cleveland Browns have a championship-level defense

The Cleveland Browns have a championship defense right now. Yeah, I would agree.

I'm officially done with the Tennessee Titans

I'm done with the titans done with them. So I'm gonna take the Texans, but I'm done with the Titans. I don't, this game, this game is not exciting to me whatsoever. Titans are two and 14 against the spread in their last 16 games. I just, I have to quit. I have to stop.

The Detroit Lions are going to be just fine after their win over the Ravens

The Detroit Lions are gonna be just fine because they went into Baltimore on Monday night and they look just as good as ever.

Derrick Henry has a serious fumbling problem in the 2025 season

He also just has a fumbling problem right now. He's fumbled three times on 43 touches in 2025.

The Colts are a legit wagon and Daniel Jones is a good quarterback

Colts 41, Titans 20. So bad news for Colts fans. They finally punted. Good news for Colts fans. They are a fucking wagon... Daniel Jones continues to be awesome... Daniel Jones is just good. No, he's just fucking good. He's just good in the Super Bowl era.

Quentin Johnston is officially a WR1 under Jim Harbaugh

Ever since Harbaugh took over, it's just completely different... as bad he is been in the past, you can't like deny that he is just, he's gradually gotten better and better and I mean, hopefully even better... hopefully even better. Yeah... Quinton Johnston might be a wide receiver one.

I don't think Carson Wentz is fixable as a quarterback due to his extensive scar tissue

I'm not ready to say that about Cars. I don't, I don't think that Carson Wentz is fixable. Yeah. I think he's got too, too much scar tissue.

The Indianapolis Colts are a legitimately good team without a clear-cut weakness right now

The Colts have really jumped off the screen. Like even if they had lost a game, I'd still be like, that's a good football team. Yep. That's a legit good football team.

Ryan Polls' rebuild of the Chicago Bears is a complete joke

The main culprit is Ryan Polls because we are now in year four of a rebuild... it's absolutely abysmal. Year four of a rebuilding they're somehow worse. Ryan Polls has not had a single Pro Bowler drafted. That's pretty crazy.