Takes

The Russian Wagner Group rebellion was a PSYOP intended to dupe Ukraine

It was a PSYOP for the market. There was a PSYOP. Okay, Putin's Gucci. He just did that whole thing to make Ukraine think they could take back Bakhmut and then they're gonna do a pincer move on him... They were able to move troops under the guise that they're doing a coup. And now Ukraine thought they were going to Moscow, but now they're just North [of Bakhmut].

The Green Bay Packers are in trouble because Jordan Love is a moron.

Jordan Love posted a video today... he said Happy Father's Day to all Bears fans out there. Jordan Love is a fucking moron. So Jordan love basically called Bears fans his dad. And it was like the first moment that I've had in a very long time where I was like, Ooh, I think things might be changing... The Packers are in trouble.

The Cowboys will pretend to be in on DeAndre Hopkins before he signs with the Bills

I bet you the Cowboys are going to make their fans believe that they're in the Hopkins running until like the very last second and then he is gonna sound with the bills.

The NFL season opener will be either Eagles vs. Jets or Chiefs vs. Cowboys.

I think I'm gonna put my pin in this one. I think it's gonna be the Eagles and the Jets to start the season. Either that or Chiefs Cowboys.

Aaron Rodgers and Zach Wilson being in the same room will fix Wilson's career

Aaron Rodgers... he might be the one guy that's able to fix what are the fuck's happening in Zach Wilson... Aaron Rodgers and Zach Wilson being in the same quarterback room is going to actually help... At least they do Ayahuasca together.

Aaron Rodgers is returning to the Green Bay Packers for the upcoming season

Leroy's first report... Aaron Rodgers is returning to the Green Bay Packers. Fuck. For the upcoming season.

Sam Hurd was released from prison early to serve as viral marketing for the movie Cocaine Bear

Sam Hurd has been released from Federal penitentiary... after serving a 10 year sentence for distributing cocaine. Timing is very suspicious with the release of Cocaine Bear. A lot of people are saying that this judge might have taken some money to do some gorilla marketing for the movie.

I am going to put $6,000 on a college basketball future chosen by Max and split the winnings with him.

I'm gonna let you [Max] pick a team in college basketball. I'm gonna put six grand on the future and then if it wins, we'll split it. That's a fair deal... And then when we lose that, I get to be mad at him for that. So it's perfect.

The Eagles will win Super Bowl LVII

I mean regardless... I mean you guys [Eagles] are gonna win.

The NBA referee apology for the LeBron no-call was written by Rich Paul

They should've had like just posted a picture of them at the time while they were tweeting it cuz it's definitely Rich Paul with a gun to their head. Yeah. As they're sitting there, LeBron James definitely hit up NBA officiating was like, I need a public apology. I need people to know that, that you guys screwed that up.

Stetson Bennett's arrest for public intoxication makes him a better NFL draft prospect

Honestly that made Stetson Bennett go up in my draft board. ... If you're Stetson Bennett, what's stopping you from just getting absolutely hammered? He's in the middle of maybe the biggest case of senioritis of all time. And it's well deserved.

The Q-collar technology causes players to make bad on-field decisions

Dalton Schultz today was wearing a... Q-collar. It's supposed to help protect the brain from injury... I have a theory. This technology... it's supposed to constrict certain blood vessels going to your brain... I think these guys are just lightheaded. And it's just, he had a bird brain.

I can hit 8 out of 10 free throws easily.

Someone said, how many free throws would you make out of 10? I was like, in my day, I was a prolific free throw shooter... I can easily hit 8 outta 10. Might have been a little ambitious. [I went] four out 10 the first time.

The PMT podcast will be 'sexy as shit' and have Super Bowl abs by February 2023

This podcast, it's gonna be fucking sexy as shit. Yeah. By the end of January we're getting Super Bowl abs. I'm going Buns of Anarchy... All are welcome to join Buns of Anarchy.

I am driving from Massachusetts to Arizona for the Arizona Bowl

I swear to God [I'm driving]... from Massachusetts... possibly [driving with a friend moving out there]... let's do it. Let's drive to Arizona.

Wisconsin hiring Luke Fickle is a great hire

Wisconsin Badgers. Luke Fickle out of nowhere. Loved the hire. Excited because Wisconsin could not have been more like bottomed out this year. Wisconsin's back. I'm very, very excited.

The Phillies will sweep their three home games and win the World Series without returning to Houston

I love my guys. We're gonna win the next three games. We won't even go back to Houston. ... We're gonna score so many runs this week.

The Sixers and Lakers are tanking for Victor Wembanyama

Tanking in the nba... there is a clear, clear, clear number. One Victor Wembanyama from France... so teams are tanking. The Sixers oh three trying to get 'em. Lakers oh three trying to get 'em.

The Mavericks will face the Bucks in the NBA Finals

I'm gonna go storyline Mavs Bucks. And everyone's just gonna be like the European invasion is is fully, fully here. Luca versus Giannis.

The Lakers will face the Celtics in the NBA Finals

Lakers, Celtics. There we go.

The Sixers will play the Grizzlies in the NBA Finals

Sixers, Grizzlies. Because that will just be easy for the Sixers.

The Suns will win the West because it's Chris Paul's year

I wanna change mine to the Suns because I really think that this is the... I think this is Chris Paul's year. This is the season for Chris Paul.

If James Madison finishes undefeated, I am declaring them National Champions

If we do go undefeated, I'm going to declare that to be a national championship. Have to. First year five games into playing an actual FBS schedule and James Madison is now ranked 25 in the nation.

Big Ben's podcast will devolve into him ranking the injuries he's played through

I'm sure that it's just gonna devolve into [Ben Roethlisberger] talking about various injuries. It should just be him talking about, I ranking the injuries that he's played through.

Tom Brady will win Gisele back by winning another Super Bowl

I think you have to take the Bucs for the season because if we know anything about Tom Brady, he's like, I'm gonna win her back by winning another Super Bowl.

Serena Williams is definitely not retired

I'd just like to call my shot real quick. She's not, she's not retired. Yeah, definitely not retired. She is not retired.

The 76ers might be back after James Harden threw a birthday cake off a boat

James Harden throwing a cake off the boat was fucking hilarious. ... I think the Sixers might be back.

Josh Rosen is putting up terrible stats on purpose as a bit

Josh Rosen... is on the Browns and in classic Josh Rosen fashion, he got in for, I think an entire half. He went seven for 20, for 88 yards. No TDs, no interceptions. I, he has to be doing this on purpose at this point. His stat lines are just so, so predictably exactly what they are every single time... It's a good bit. It really is.

Earth is spinning faster and it is going to break our technology

Earth is back. There was an article that came out last Friday that said that the earth is now spending faster than it has before. Specifically on June 29th, midnight arrived 1.59 milliseconds sooner than expected. It is gonna fuck up technology.

The only two ways Kevin Durant can restore his legacy are by returning to the Thunder or waiting to play for the Sonics

The only two places Kevin Durant can go to restore his legacy is the Thunder or if he waits out for the Sonics and their franchise again. And it would be a believable story, everyone would root for Kevin Durant if he went to the Sonics and they have the picks to give up.

Baker Mayfield will have no choice but to play for the Browns this season

I want to see baker have to play for the Browns this year. I don't think he will. I would be. I don't think he has a choice. I don't know. He's not gonna play football maybe. No. And he would come off looking very soft. If that happened. If he was like, I refuse to play football for you. Cause you were mean to me. No chance he'll play.

Max Homa is a top 10 or 20 favorite to win the 2022 U.S. Open

Max [Homa] is legitimately good. He's probably, he's gotta be like top 10, top 20 favorites to win the us open.

Nadal winning mostly on clay makes him a Mickey Mouse champion

It's Mickey Mouse to have to only win on one surface. Well, I think he also won the Australian, right? ... 14 of his 22 are at Roland Garros.

The world will end before Dan Snyder sells the Commanders

The fucking world ends before Dan Snyder sells the team. I'm going to, I'm going to take myself out back here.

Drew Brees is going to return to the NFL

Drew Brees... he could be returning to football. He could go back to NBC... usually when someone ends up, they're coming back to play, they're probably going to come back.

Bigfoot is currently in the state of Ohio

My last who's back is big foot. There's been pictures of a big foot sighting... I've tracked it down to Ohio. There was some Bama people claiming that they found them in Bama... but I just want to correct it and let you know that Bigfoot is currently in Ohio.

The 2022 World Series will be the Phillies vs. the Padres

Can you imagine if it's the Phillies and the Padres in the World Series? How right I would be. Yeah, that would be sick. If the AL just imploded. That would be the all-time prediction.

I can break Vegas with a specific March Madness hedging spreadsheet

I'm thinking I'm going to take all the favorites from the first round and bet all of them to win the whole thing as a future. And then bet the money line on all of the underdogs so that the money lines pays all the future bets.

Grayson Allen belongs in jail for his dirty foul on Alex Caruso

Grayson Allen deserves to be in jail... he's a fucking scumbag piece of shit. [He] should be in jail, should be in hell.

Jerod Mayo's head coaching stock is damaged because the Patriots' defense gave up 47 points to the Bills

Jerod Mayo's fucked with his interviews now. Imagine being... he's got some interviews this week. That's going to be a tough one to walk into and be like, 'Hey, you just gave up 47 points'. It's not a good look for him.

Alabama will beat Georgia 30-21 in the National Championship

The final score was 30 to 21, Alabama. So I'm going to bet that exact same. I'm going to bet that kind of the spread at an alternate line... I feel good about it. I don't know if I can trust my own brain sometimes, but I feel like when I turned my brain off, that's when I do my best thinking.

The Bulls can compete with anyone in the Eastern Conference

I actually think [the Bulls] are very, very good. And they could compete with anyone in the east... the nets do not scare me.

Cincinnati can give Alabama a good game in the playoffs because of their secondary

I'm actually already going to do it again because I actually think Cincinnati could give Alabama a good game because their secondary is that fucking good. And they have a quarterback that is like, just doesn't let anyone catch anything.

Gonzaga talent-wise might be the best NCAA basketball team in 30 years

Talent wise, they might be the best NCAA basketball team that I've seen in the last 30 years.

San Diego State punter Matt Araiza should be a first-round pick

Someone should draft [Matt Araiza] in the first round. ... If he can punt like this all the time, it actually is an incredible game changer. ... You think that if the Patriots took him... that's the perfect end of first round draft pick.

Michigan will win the college basketball national championship

I'm pretty sure Gonzaga's a favorite. Fucking Gonzaga. They're never going to win shit. [Big Cat: Who do you have winning all?] Michigan.

Coach Ed Orgeron will return as a 'full-time interim coach' for hire

Next time any program needs an interim head coach, he should be interim for hire. He should be a full-time interim coach.

Florida QB Anthony Richardson is Cam Newton 2.0 and a 2022 Heisman candidate

Florida's quarterback that they put in second [Anthony Richardson] is Cam Newton 2.0, yes. He's on my big board for Heisman next year.

The Red Sox are going to win the World Series

I mean, the Red Sox, I think they're going to win the World Series at this point. I think everything that happens... doesn't it feel like they have those weird vibes going now?

Dog the Bounty Hunter will find Brian Laundrie before the FBI.

Dog the Bounty Hunter is on the trail of Brian Laundrie. ... What happens if Dog finds him before the FBI? He absolutely will. He's Dog the Bounty Hunter. ... Dog's like knocking on his parents [door]. ... It's over. Dog's on the case. It's done.