Takes

Gary Woodland winning the Masters would be the best emotional story in golf following his brain surgery.

Number three I got Gary Woodland winning. Obviously I think this is the one that would be the most emotional. I'm sure you guys followed the whole journey... with the brain surgery and PTSD. He's second on the PGA tour in driving distance this year at the age of 41... I feel good story in my list.

My 12th place finish last year was more impressive than my 3rd place finish because I was playing terribly coming in

My third was awesome but last year I was playing like dog nuts coming into it and I played awful here. But I like definitely to answer your question, think I like learned where to leave it and learned certain golf shots. Last year's 12th was significantly more shocking than the year before's third.

Kirk Cousins and Fernando Mendoza will be best friends on the Raiders

I can't think of a better pairing than Kirk Cousins and Fernando Mendoza... they're gonna be best friends. They're just like brothers. They're the same guy.

I will not mindlessly scroll on my phone unless I am walking on a treadmill pad

The rule I came up for myself with is: if I'm scrolling, I'm strolling. So I'm not gonna let myself just mindlessly scroll through my phone unless I'm on the walking pad. I feel like that's gonna make my steps... easy 12,000 a day.

Duke losing has the highest universal approval rating of anything in sports

Duke losing is number one on that list across the board. I think Duke losing is number one.

Rick Barnes is currently a very underrated coach in college basketball

I actually think that Rick Barnes is, he's proven that he's a great, great coach... I think Rick Barnes, he's, I think he's actually, he's gotten to the point where he's a very underrated coach in college basketball.

Iowa fans are the happiest fan base of any team that lost in the Elite Eight

If you're an Iowa fan, Iowa's gotta be the the happiest fan base that lost in Elite Eight. Right. Of of course. Yeah. 'cause that's a, that's a team that did not have a ton of talent. And Ben McCollum got 'em so far.

Rory McIlroy's Masters Champions Dinner menu is worse than Scottie Scheffler's

I thought that Scotty's was way better... I feel like on, that's a normal thing to talk about. What was on Rory's? He had like a bunch of fish. He had a, a tiny filet... desserts were nowhere near as like the, the warm skillet cookie that Scotty had... Rory's... looks like it's trying too hard.

Hating Duke will never fall out of style

Duke needs to be hateable forever. Who is the Athletic? This is bullshit. Don't who wrote this? You want them to be forever. It will never not be cool. It's always been cool.

Being the designated TV remote guy at a bar is a 10 out of 10 job

Had dinner at a local establishment last night and was informed that someone on staff was the designated TV remote guy to switch between games. No bartending, no waiting tables, just ball. 10 out of 10 job. You don't do this job without immense pride. It's the best job ever.

Great players want to be coached and pushed because they want to be the best

What I don't think people realize, and Magic [Johnson] said this to me once: great players want to be coached and pushed because great players want to be the best players. So they do. You know, it just sometimes in the high school level now, nobody does that because kids will leave.

Every major college coaching opening should start by calling Brad Stevens and making him say no

You gotta make him say no. You gotta call Brad Stevens and make him say no. I will personally never stop saying that. He probably wakes up every morning and says no. Voicemail just says, 'Thank you so much for the consideration, but it's gonna be a no.' It would be shocking if he ever took another college job.

Wisconsin women's ice hockey winning 5 out of 7 national titles is a dynasty

Women's ice hockey because the Wisconsin Badgers won another national title, five in seven years. Dynasty. Five and seven years is crazy. That's a dynasty.

Never bet an under in a Hawaii game

If Jake's listening, do not bet on any under in a Hawaii game.

The West Region is the 'Region of Floor Generals'

The west region is the region of floor generals. And look at the point guards in this region. Jayden Bradley at Arizona, John Blackwell and Nick Boyd... Darius Acuff at Arkansas... Braden Smith at Purdue.

America needs a 'Husbands for Guys' service to handle car mechanics and home repairs

Why there should be a service just guy for hire that he's not a mechanic, but he knows everything about cars. He takes your car into the mechanic shop and just makes sure you don't get banged. We could call it husbands for guys. You keep your pride as a human being and as a man intact.

If your relationship is built on the Chili's Triple Dipper, you will make it

If the foundation of your relationship is the Chili's Triple Dipper or bottomless chips and salsa, you're gonna make it. They're not thinking prenups or joint bachelorette parties.

The Bears' stadium threats are just an anchoring tactic for negotiations

It's kinda like the Bears Stadium situation, which I've been saying all along. Like when they first said Arlington Heights, everyone's like, you can't move the Bears outta Chicago. Then they're like, what about Indiana? No, you can't move 'em outta state. Okay, what about Arlington Heights? Oh, that's sick. They're basically saying, Hey Carson Wentz. No, we can't have Carson Wentz. Okay, what about Gino Smith? Oh, actually that's pretty good compared to Carson Wentz. Smart.

Max Crosby would instantly make the Bears a really good defense

I would be pumped if it was [Max Crosby] to the Bears, I'd be very, very pumped. Yeah. He's amazing. Really, really good at football and would be instantly make the Bears a really, really good defense.

Drew Dalman's retirement is a massive blow to the Bears' offensive line

The first instant reaction was fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Then you have to be a human about it and realize like, hey, the guy's able to walk away while he still feels healthy. That's awesome for Drew Dalman. And then it's right back to fuck, fuck, fuck. Because... the offensive line was a significant strength... and now they go into the draft and it's like, fuck.

Directing animation is much harder than directing live action

I will tell you, having directed live action and having directed animation... it is a lot harder to do the second one. ... animation itself has not gotten any easier. It's, it, it still requires the human brain to make a judgment call every few frames with regard to what's right for the moment.

JJ McCarthy should want to play for Kevin O'Connell in Minnesota

JJ McCarthy should want to play for Kevin O'Connell. He should do like the Chet Powers thing and just disguise himself as somebody else and then be like, 'Hey, can you fix me Kevin O'Connell?'

Great defense will usually beat great offense

I feel like all—there's a lot of like Super Bowls and big games in the past where I feel like the defense... I feel like the defenses have probably won more. [Great defense is gonna beat great offense].

I hope Pardon My Take is the only job I have for the rest of my life.

It's the best job ever. I always tell people that if I had told like a guidance counselor when I was in college or high school what I wanted to do when I grow up, I would've said something very similar to what this job is right now. Longest job I've ever had, by far. And I honestly want this to be the only job that I have for the rest of my life.

Trent Williams is the rare offensive lineman who is actually fun to watch play

Trent Williams is a joy to have on your team. He's just a fucking bully. He's also the rare offensive lineman where you have fun watching him play. Like after the ball was snapped, my eyes would just go to Trent Williams because it's like this guy, we might throw an interception, but Trent Williams might punch a guy in the throat.

The Michigan loss to Duke was not that bad

I actually walked away being like, I don't think that was that bad of a loss for Michigan. And the fact that they shot absolute dog shit. And if they just shoot a little bit better, they probably win that game.

I will be genuinely disappointed if Team USA doesn't win the gold medal in hockey

I'm gonna give a good honest, like I'm, I'm gonna be disappointed if we, we don't win the gold medal. And I will, I will not. I will not skate out of it by saying it wasn't real and all that stuff.

The NHL should move to a longer 3-on-3 overtime to avoid shootouts

I actually think that they should move to a longer three on three. Even if you added two extra minutes... I think would, would make a lot more games end in in in overtime as opposed to going to a shootout.

The Olympics should allow more highlights to be shared so people actually want to watch the events

The Olympics sucks and they just don't give any highlights for anything. It's so stupid. Why do they do that? Why not make it something that people wanna watch and go, 'oh, I saw that event, let me go check it out.'

Devon Witherspoon is one of the best defensive players in the NFL

One person that a lot of people not going to talk about, but I feel like he's like low key. One of the best defensive players in the league is Devon Witherspoon. Spoon is, he is the heart and soul of that Seattle Seahawks defense. Like he is coordinating everything back there. He doesn't miss tackles, he makes plays on the ball. Like he is a true football player out there, man. And he definitely deserves a nine nine on defense [in Madden].

This Dungeons and Dragons episode is the best one the show has ever done

It is Dungeons and Dragons Day, the best one we've ever done... I honestly think it's the best one we've ever done.

Dungeons and Dragons is the universal game of imagination that everyone has already played

I like to say D&D is the game that everyone has played. Even if you only did it when you were a kid and didn't know it was D&D, it is just the game of imagination that we all play. And it's the, it is the universal game in many ways.

Clerics are actually very powerful in this edition of Dungeons and Dragons

Clerics are actually really powerful in this edition, so I don't mind playing them. It's pretty good. Also, when you're the healer kind of means everyone has to be nice to you.

The NFL off-season is a myth because football guys never stop grinding

Football season might be over, but you know how it goes... free agency, the draft, who's getting paid, who's grinding? 'Cause for football guys, there is no off season.

The Patriots are built for a long-term fight for the future

I'm excited going forward. Like I, I have never been, you know, I'm bought into this Patriots team. I'm excited for the future... knowing that there is the community of Patriots fans where it's like... going forward, we're, we're ready to fight. We're ready to keep fighting.

Seahawks coach Mike Macdonald is an absolute psycho in the best way possible

I'm obsessed with Mike Macdonald now... He is an absolute psycho. I saw two things that were like, holy fuck, this guy's a psycho... after he won the Super Bowl, he was lamenting that the season was over... And then two... [when a player sprained an ankle] he was like, 'good, good. Like adversity good.'

Midweek college basketball is better than the NBA

That's why I love college basketball so much, especially this time of year where every game feels so important... there's nothing like these college basketball games, a midweek game where the crowd and you get true home court advantage. And it feels like there's big, big time stakes.

LeBron James is the face of the NBA until the day he retires

As long as LeBron's in the league, LeBron is not only the face of the league, but definitely has a weighted opinion on basketball... LeBron is the face of the league until he is no longer in the league.

Stop comparing your boat to others and just appreciate your own boat

There's a lot of guys looking at your boat... that'd be enough boat for me. I think not to make this about life, but it's, it's just something to remember. There's probably somebody looking at your boat going that's that's good enough for me. I should stop looking at the other boats.

The current college basketball season is the best in a long time because the top of the rankings is loaded with juggernauts.

This might be the best college basketball season we're having right now in a long, long time. It is so loaded at the top. There are, you go eight deep of teams that feel like they are like juggernauts.

Josh McDaniels will use a gadget play trick in the Super Bowl

McDaniels is gonna have something ready. He's gonna have some new trick that he hasn't done before. Oh yeah. He's gonna have a gadget play that we haven't seen. And they, it's about when they break it out and if they're able to execute on that, that could be huge obviously for the Patriots.

The key to stopping the Seahawks' offense is stopping the run first to make Sam Darnold one-dimensional.

For most any game plan that we have, man, it's always trying to stop the run first and make them one dimensional. 'Cause if they, if you can force 'em into a game where they're having to pass the ball, then you can now start manipulating... But if they can run the ball... that opened up the pass game through running the football... So you have to be able to stop the run and make them one dimensional.

I don't want to get the lottery ball today and I don't want a new machine

We're down, I think we have four more lottery ball guesses on this machine. And then we're getting the new machine. I personally do not want to get it. I don't wanna get it.

Jalen Ramsey is the hardest cornerback to play against

Jalen Ramsey... he was one of the first defenders that could go out there and run with you and jump with you, tackle you. The guy basically could be a receiver if he wanted to... we groomed and I would say changed each other's game.

Special teams is the most magnified and important factor in NFL playoff margins

I think in the playoffs, more than anything, it comes true: special teams. Because we make the joke, oh it's a third of the game because it's a cliché and obviously it's not as important as offense/defense, but when you get into the playoffs and the margins are so thin, special teams becomes so, so important and so magnified.

The Dolphins should return to their old logo and add a Guardian Cap to the helmeted dolphin

Bring back the old logo with the dolphin that's wearing the helmet. Except have the dolphin also be wearing a guardian cap. I think that would be very cool. That'd be an excellent logo.

Sam Darnold is playing with incredible maturity and focusing on wins over stats

I watched him throw the ball away. Here is a guy that has grown in maturity, that has used all that kind of pain and frustration... to his advantage. He's not worried about putting up stats, he's worried about wins. And he is looking at it from a standpoint, the only way my team that's playing so well right now loses is if I screw it up.

Hiring John Harbaugh is a smart move for the Giants because they desperately need stability.

This was, I mean, this is a smart move. I I, I like this move for the Giants. It feels like they needed stability... you hiring him. You're not gonna fire him in three years, even if it takes a little bit of time to get things going.

Justin Herbert's throwing ability is the 'Mona Lisa' of football

If throwing a football was supposed to be artistic or beautiful, that is the Mona Lisa, this guy. He's the guy that as a fellow thrower... when I watch him throw, I'm like, oh, it gives your heart beats value. Like, oh that is beautiful.

Fasting is the worst thing ever

I realized I was such a bitch. ... Anyone who tries to tell you the fasting is the way to go. It ain't, it ain't the way to go.