Takes

The Rams, Eagles, and Seahawks are the only three dangerous teams in the NFC

I rank them order, it would be Rams, Eagles, Seahawks. ... If you want gun to my head right now, I think there's three teams in the NFC.

Josh Allen is currently the best playoff quarterback in the AFC

Josh Allen, who is the best. I think he's the best playoff quarterback in the AFC right now. As much as people like to say that Josh Allen is a choke artist because the Bills haven't won a Super Bowl, Josh Allen is awesome in the playoffs. He is incredible. And the losses that he's had, he's been the best quarterback on the field.

Deactivating Jayden Daniels for the rest of the season was the right decision for the future of the Commanders

He has been deactivated for the rest of the season. Deactivated for his own good 'cause he just keep trying to come back and get reinjured. I'm fine with it. I, I support the decision all in for 2027... I think it's the right decision.

The Bears are currently a better team than the Packers in our fictional 2025 timeline

I'm setting this game aside. I'm just saying in general, I believe in the Bears. They look like a different team. They look like a legitimate team. I think the Bears are gonna win... I think they're better than the Packers.

Bengals head coach Zac Taylor is officially on the hot seat in this fictionalized 2025 season

This Z Taylor. Who's now on the hot seat officially, I would say... it feels like the hot seat is there. Whether the hot seat actually turns all the way up, I don't know.

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

Jalen Hurts is Russell Wilson 2.0 (and that is a good thing)

I said Jalen Hurts is Russell Wilson 2.0... I said Russell Wilson was a very good quarterback. I think Jalen Hurts is a very good quarterback. They, they're not the top three guys in the league, but they're somewhere after that where if their team is good around 'em, they're winning a Super Bowl.

The 49ers are the 'lurking' team in the NFC that no one is talking about enough

I will say this about the 49ers, they feel like the team that not a lot of people are talking about and they're kind of just lurking there... 49ers are right there. Yeah, they're right fucking there.

The current Seahawks defense is playing better than the Legion of Boom did in any seven-game stretch

The Seahawks defense in terms of... a seven-game stretch, they have actually played better in a seven-game stretch this year than the best seven-game stretch of the Legion of Boom.

Shedeur Sanders isn't actually controversial; the polarization is driven entirely by external conversations about him.

The most controversial parts of Shedeur Sanders are actually not Shedeur Sanders. It's what other people say about Shedeur Sanders. ... As a guy goes, I don't think that Shedeur is the reason—it's everybody else talking about [him].

I would rather see Jayden Daniels play and risk injury than sit him for the rest of the season

Big picture, if he gets hurt, I'm gonna be like, why the fuck was Jayden Daniels playing? Counterpoint: Good football players want to play football when they're healthy. I would really like to see Jayden Daniels play this weekend. I don't care. I like watching him play football.

Matthew Stafford's 31 career pick-sixes is actually a complimentary stat

Matthew Stafford has 31 [pick-sixes]. Brett Favre has 32. And you're like, 'Ooh, that's a bad stat.' And then you realize... that means you're very, very good because you played long enough that it didn't actually matter. It's actually kind of a compliment that the rest of your game is so good that 31 pick-sixes are completely irrelevant.

The Texans' defense is the best singular unit of any team in the AFC.

The Texans might be the best singular unit of any team in the AFC. ... Their defense is for real. And it's, it's like, shit, man. They, they beat the fuck—what they did to Josh Allen a couple weeks ago was like, oh man.

Kyler Murray made the correct financial decision choosing the NFL over MLB

I'll say that. Even if [Kyler Murray] never is a good starting quarterback in the NFL and never gets another bonafide shot, he made the correct choice because he's made $170 million.

The Italian race is essentially finished because they are too attracted to Latinas

He [Jersey Jerry] told me today that Italians were done in this country... because a lot of them are attracted to Latinas. And so then they have kids with Latinas and then there's no more Italians.

The Bears vs. Bengals game is a 'must look good' game for the Chicago offense

This is a must look good on offense game. The Bears offense has not, has been up and down this year... If you can't light up the Bengals defense, then I'm gonna start having some doubts creep in.

Tua Tagovailoa has 'low eyes' which causes him to miss linebackers

I feel like this is why in the draft you measure quarterbacks up to the eyeballs. You don't measure 'em to the top of the head. Tua's got a lot of wasted space in the forehead. Makes him a little bit taller on paper than he really is. He's got low eyes.

The Jets are experiencing 'below rock bottom' dysfunction

This is just total dysfunction. This is the rock bottom we were talking about under the rock bottom. It's below the rock bottom. And now it's only up from here. Hopefully.

AJ Brown feels 'used' by the Eagles because they only target him when they desperately need to win.

I think he looks at his relationship with a football team and every time they go to him and they try to exploit a weakness in the defense... he feels like he's being used, like they wouldn't pass him the ball if they didn't need him to win. So fuck them. It's like, you're just using me so that you can win.

Boneless wings are just big nuggets trying to be cool

Wings are not boneless. Wings have bones in them, but, this is it's big nugget that's trying to make themselves seem like they're as cool as chicken wings. You'll never be as cool as chicken wings. It's the mocktail of chicken.

Spencer Rattler has a future as a starting quarterback in the NFL

Do you think that Spencer Rattler has a future as a starting quarterback in this league? I think he might. And I feel strong about maybe.

If the Eagles lose to the Vikings, their season is dead

This is the do or die game. If you lose third week in a row, to Carson Wentz... if they lose this game, I think it comes crumbling down.

The Dolphins' failure to kick the field goal for 70 points against the Broncos cursed their franchise

I'm beginning to think that when he did not go for a field goal at the end of that game... he decided he was not going to set the all time NFL scoring record. It's a curse that cursed the Dolphins from that point on.

Travis Hunter the wide receiver would beat Travis Hunter the cornerback

Travis Hunter, the wide receiver we think could beat Travis Hunter the cornerback. Yes. Get toasted.

Shedeur Sanders is 'behind the eight ball' if Rex Ryan is getting in his head

If Rex Ryan is in your head, Rex Ryan talks on TV... He has nothing to do with the NFL right now... If Rex Ryan is taking up any space at all in your head to the point where you're gonna react to that in a press conference, I feel like you're already a little bit behind the eight ball.

Brian Flores was being 'very mean' by comparing Dylan Gabriel's thought process to Tua Tagovailoa's

That is so mean of Brian Flores to say, 'I see Tua'—the guy I fucking almost ended his career by just hating him and bullying him as I was his head coach—in Dylan Gabriel. Brian Flores hated Tua to the point where Tua said that he had to go to therapy for two years to fix his confidence.

The 2024 Eagles are the worst 20-1 team in NFL history

Is this Eagle's team the worst 20 and one team in their last 21 games of all time... every, literally every negative thing that I've said about the Eagles this year has come from a place of extreme jealousy and also trying to stir Max up... I think the Eagles, yeah, they're the worst.

Jalen Hurts is the new Joe Flacco

I think he's, he's become the new Joe Flacco where he won a Super Bowl, but everyone's trying to fight. Is Jalen Hurts Elite sound off in the comments?

The Cardinals have the worst body language in the NFL

They're the worst body language team in the NFL by far. And they're, I think, leading the way. Kyler Murray, bad body language. Marvin Harrison, Jr. bad body language. Especially on Thursday night... they go to the sidelines and they don't talk to each other.

Marcus Mariota is the best backup quarterback in the NFL

I think [Marcus Mariota] is probably the best backup quarterback in the NFL. He was great last year. He was awesome against the Cowboys. And this is actually... for all the talk about Jayden [Daniels] possibly being injury prone, this is the first start that he will miss.

Kyler Murray's decision to post a photo with a pitbull and a Michael Vick jersey shows a lack of judgment

If your quarterback's making, if this is the judgment of your quarterback, that's a bad song. The decision making process is lacking.

Caleb Williams needs to take more shots and throw more interceptions

I wouldn't mind if Caleb had a couple more interceptions. We're getting to a point now where he doesn't throw interceptions and it feels like I'd like him to take some more shots. Just take a couple shots. Take like that hesitancy he talked about himself. Let it rip.

Josh Allen is the best quarterback in the NFL

I think Josh Allen should be one. I had Josh Allen one, Patrick Mahomes two, Lamar three.

Jaden Daniels is the fifth best quarterback in the NFL

I watched an hour of his highlights in the 4th of July... I think he's five. I think just, yeah, he's five.

Dak Prescott is the 24th best quarterback in the NFL

Make the accurate ranking tier. Just be 23 Daniel Jones, 24 Dak... I googled QB Rankings for 2025 Pro Football Focus. Where do you think they had Dak Prescott? 18, 17... I couldn't make him the 17th best anymore.

CJ Abrams is the best Saber Metric pick in the Dingers Only draft because he leads off

Ideally you want your players to get as many opportunities to hit home runs as possible. Why not take a guy that hits lead off shortstop. CJ Abrams. He's gonna get like four more at bats than some of your guys' clowns.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he hasn't won a World Series

I would go even further and say he's [Aaron Judge] not a true Yankee. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still not a true Yankee... You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October.

The Eagles are the better overall team compared to the Chiefs

I think the Eagles are the better team. I'm so, so afraid of Patrick Mahomes and the history that they're going for. I do think though the Eagles defense is the best unit that he's gonna face in probably yeah. I mean in the playoffs.

Returning punts is the scariest play in football because of the high risk of a game-changing turnover.

Returning punts is the scariest play in football for me. Because I feel that it has to be the highest percentage play of turnover. It's very easy to turn the ball over on a punt and it completely changes the game.

I would rather have Mike McCarthy as my head coach than Brian Flores

I'd much rather have if given a choice, Mike McCarthy over Brian Flores... I think Brian Flores could be a very good head coach with a well established quarterback in place... I just don't want a defensive coach and I don't, I want Ben Johnson.

George Kittle is a first-ballot Hall of Famer

George Kittle should be in Canton. He is the fourth tight end all time to have four 1,000 yard seasons... George Kittle should be in a gold jacket. We'll start working on a PowerPoint. But he's an absolute monster.

The Giants are currently the worst team in the NFL without Dexter Lawrence

I'll say this, without Dexter Lawrence, I think [the Giants] might be the worst team. I think they would take the key. So it'd be between the Giants, the Raiders, and the Titans.

Bill Belichick's main recruiting pitch at UNC will be a direct, simplified path to the NFL

There is a compelling case for Bill Belichick shows up to your living room and says, Hey, I can get you in the NFL... I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that you need an education... I'm just gonna get you to the NFL.

College football should get rid of conference championships and just start the 16-team playoff that weekend

Get rid of the conference championships. If you're gonna do it this way, get rid of the conference championships and just have the playoffs start that weekend. Yeah. Like, have it be the first weekend of December, have it be 16 teams or whatever it is.

The top four teams in the CFP should always get a bye, regardless of whether they won their conference

Top four teams should get a bye. Because as it stands right now, and I Boise's good, I think Boise could beat anyone... But it just, it's, when I look at the bracket, the thing that keeps sticking out is like Oregon had by far and away the best season in college football... And their matchup potentially is gonna be Ohio State or Tennessee in the first round. Which that doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

Nepotism in football coaching is more acceptable than in playing because you work up through ranks

Coaching is a lot different than playing... Football is like the most, basketball is different. There's not a lot of examples of nepotism drafts. There's a million examples of nepotism coaching... He [Steve Belichick] worked his way up the ranks as any head coach that's ever head coached in the history of coaching has.

Mike Tomlin is the best coach in the NFL right now

I love Mike Tomlin more than anyone I think in the NFL right now. It's crazy how awesome he is. He is just, he gets in front of a room and I, you just get pumped up. He's the best.

The Giants are starting Tommy DeVito because they are trying to tank

I think they're trying to lose. I think they're trying to lose and try to tank for a quarterback. Yeah. Which would make sense.

I only feel bad for Drew Locke in the Giants' quarterback debacle

Daniel Jones made a ton of money and has been bad for six years and he should just be happy. He's gonna have hundreds of millions of dollars to just hang out. Drew Locke, like, he doesn't have a lot of chances. If he's not gonna get a chance here, where's his next chance?

Caleb Williams just needs a comfortable system and he will still be a good quarterback

Caleb Williams is still a good quarterback. He just needs to get in a comfortable system. He needs to not be like surrounded by a hurricane of shit... Don't make him feel like he's got too big a part of that failure right off the bat. Give him easy shit to do.