Takes

Take all the unders in late-season NFL divisional games

I feel like late in the season divisional just take all the unders. I know that sounds crazy. I know overs are more fun. But these two teams know each other they yeah, they it's tough to beat a team twice.

Tom Brady has the only records that matter because of the postseason

If I may step in and do your pod form and say that Tom Brady actually has all the meaningful records when you take into account the postseason as well. So really, this is just on paper.

Shitting is an essential mental break during the work day

I feel like the art of going to the back, even in high school before I had a cell phone, I was still just like, let me get out of the class and go take a shit for 30 minutes. It's a mental break. So I don't even know that the cell phone thing would work as much. Like, people back in the day, before cell phones existed, were still taking long shit breaks.

Eli Manning should retire now after his win against the Dolphins

I don't think he should play next week or the week after. He should go out like this. He won. It felt good.

I am hoping to run a 4.6 40-yard dash

I'm hoping to hit 4-6. That would be blazing for me.

Lamar Jackson is officially the MVP

Lamar Jackson passes Michael Vick in rushing for season for quarterback. He is the MVP. It would take basically Russell Wilson, like Russell Wilson probably gonna throw seven touchdowns every single game for last three games to surpass them.

Lamar Jackson is a lock for the Madden cover

There has never been a bigger guarantee in the entire world of sports: the Lamar Jackson cover of Madden.

Jameis Winston's stats are only better than Peyton Manning's because of the era

This is how the new-age NFL [is]. This is why the Jameis Winston/Peyton Manning stats are ridiculous when you actually adjust them for era. It's like, yeah, of course Jameis Winston has these numbers that are better than Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning still played partially in the old NFL.

The Giants have to play Eli Manning again to let him get back to a .500 record

Now what sucks is now Eli's 116 and 117. You've got to play him again, though. You have to play him again. You've got to give him a shot to get back to 117, 117.

Sean Payton's butcher should stick to groceries and stay out of football coaching

Sean Payton went to the grocery store and his butcher was giving him shit about going for two in the game. Sean Payton was like, I told my butcher, you worry about running out of meat, I'll worry about coaching the football team. The butcher obviously doesn't understand math. He doesn't know that if you go for two the first time, you actually increase your chances of winning.

Brandon Cooks is the definition of elite foot speed

I think it's probably Brandon Cooks, a receiver we have out here in L.A., and I actually trained with him for the combine. I thought he was fast then, but he's on a whole other level of fast and the definition of foot speed, extremely quick.

LSU and Clemson will meet in the National Championship game

I actually think it's gonna be LSU Clemson in the final... yeah I'm going to agree I mean this might take a loan out.

Lamar Jackson will be the NFL MVP and Joe Burrow will win the Heisman

Lamar Jackson is probably going to be the MVP right? Joe Burrow is likely going to be the Heisman. This I think will be the first year that the Heisman winner would be older than the NFL MVP.

Jerry Jones will not fire Jason Garrett this season because they are in first place

He's not going to fire Jason Garrett this season... because they're still in first place and still control their own destiny, you can't fire him.

The Rams will beat the Seahawks because Sean McVay owns Pete Carroll's defense

Here's Sean McVay's offenses against the Seahawks the last four times: 29 points, 33 points, 36 points, 42 points. The Rams for whatever reason it is can figure out how to attack Pete Carroll's defense... I'll take the Rams.

Baby Yoda is the breakout star of The Mandalorian

Baby Yoda is the breakout star. It's basically the main character of the show, but he's electric. If you watch the show, he is so cute.

The Kane vs Undertaker storyline is the best in WWE history

I agree with you. It was the best story WWE has ever done, not because of what I did but because they did such a great job telling it... four months before Kane ever debuted, you had Paul Bearer talking about it and you have all this backstory.

Shawn Michaels and Daniel Bryan are the best performers at connecting with an audience

As far as connecting with the audience overall, Shawn Michaels and Daniel Bryan are the two best people that I've seen that can just like pull an audience in like no one else can do.

The Ravens will be the AFC's number one seed and the Super Bowl will go through Baltimore.

But as of right now, if the playoffs started today, the Ravens would be the one seed and the Super Bowl would go through Baltimore.

The Jets losing to the winless Bengals is a classic 'so Jets' moment.

That was so Jets. That was so, so Jets. ... to have a quarterback who seems like the guy say, we're going to run the table... then go to Cincinnati, an 0-11 team, and score six points and just piss down their leg. I'm sorry, Jets fans. That is so Jets.

I love the over in Bills vs. Cowboys on Thanksgiving

Fellas, I love this over. This is going to be my over of the day. Because you've got to have at least one over on Thanksgiving. It's a lot going against Buffalo. Buffalo on the road. Different defense at home. Very good defense on the road. Maybe not as good. And also, teams have been able to run a little bit on the Bills. Guess who the Cowboys have? Zeke.

The New Orleans Saints will blow out the Atlanta Falcons

I think that the wonky game already happened with the Saints and the Falcons. I think the Saints are going to blow them out.

Paul Bunyan's Axe is the best rivalry trophy in college football

I do think, and I'm obviously biased, but I do think Paul Bunyan's axe is up there... It's fucking awesome. It's enormous. It's just a great trophy to have... grab it and you get to hold it up and it's fucking cool. Fake, fake chop down the goalposts, the whole thing.

Being a NASCAR driver is harder than being a podcaster

Oh, it's definitely harder to be a NASCAR driver... What is our physical risk right now?

The Patriots will dominate the Texans

Yep, this is the game. Patriots get back on a roll. They always dominate the Texans... I think this is a game they win by 10 to 14 points.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are the Mount Rushmore of Daily Show history

Stewart and Colbert... I think the two that everybody – you bear their fingerprints is either Colbert or Stewart. To me.

Sean McDermott is a top candidate for NFL Coach of the Year

Is it time right now to start asking about Sean McDermott, possible coach of the year? That's like the sweet spot for a coach of the year, coaching a smaller market team and elevating them beyond what their expectations were.

The Saints, Steelers, and Patriots all winning is a can't-lose parlay

There's no chance the Saints lose at home to the Panthers... The Steelers are not going to lose to the Bengals because Mason Rudolph has never lost a game after he's been accused of saying something racist... and the Patriots will beat the Cowboys because all you got to know about the Patriots Cowboys game is Jason Garrett verse Bill Belichick.

Jeff Driskel has earned himself five more years in the NFL as a backup

Jeff Driskel signed himself to five more years in the NFL. He has done enough as a backup quarterback... for the next five, six, seven years, people will say, Jeff Driskel, he's a pretty good backup quarterback.

If Matthew Stafford had played, the Lions would have beaten the Cowboys

If Matthew Stafford starts this game, the Lions probably win.

The Patriots will beat the Eagles by at least seven points

I'm going to take the Patriots... minus three and a half. It is the classic. I think I wouldn't be surprised if they lose. So I'm going to take them because I mean they'll probably win by 7 plus.

Walter Payton is the greatest football player in Mississippi history

All time I love I love sweetness. Okay. Number one. I will say then myself. [Big Cat: That's a very smart classy move].

The Lions should realistically be over .500

And the Lions got fucked over by the refs twice. They should realistically be over .500.

The most important people to recruit in a living room are the mom and grandma

It's mom and grandma. There's no doubt about that now... They want to know the man in charge, is he going to make sure that he's in good hands?

Smart and tough players play in the NFL for a long time

Smart guy, tough guy. Smart guys, tough guys generally can play football for a long time.

The Jaguars must start Nick Foles over Gardner Minshew

I think this is a no-brainer. You have to start Nick Foles. And that's not saying Gardner Minshew isn't a quarterback in the NFL going forward, but you have money invested in Nick Foles... Gardner Minshew basically made it so either he plays so well that it's a no-doubter or he shits the bed right before Nick Foles came back. And guess what? He shit the bed.

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant's relationship is a Jay and Silent Bob dynamic

I kind of like that Dynamic though. It's a little Jay and Silent Bob ish, right? So you've got Kyrie that never says anything and then you got Kevin Durant that just says everything, right? Yeah, I'm fine with that. Yeah. This is sounds like it's going to be a good buddy cop type thing.

I would take over and coach US Soccer

I will take over US Soccer. I would be the coach of US Soccer... You automatically get to drive an Audi. That's part of the deal... I would like that.

The 49ers are very much for real

The 49ers are very much for real and we can segue this with we were talking about it. There are two undefeated teams left the forerunners of the Patriots. Could you imagine the story lines if that were Super Bowl?

The Lions are a team you wouldn't want to play in the playoffs, but they won't make it

I think that they would be a team you wouldn't want to play in the playoffs but they won't make it. I think that they could beat a playoff team. Yeah. I don't think that they will [make it].

The Washington Nationals are a team of destiny

The Washington Nationals. We said it on Wednesday. It rings true today. They are a team of destiny. Big time.

The Buffalo Bills will win 10 games this season

The bills are going to be those are gonna win ten games.

Gerrit Cole is going to 'shove' in the World Series

Gerrit Cole is about to show you... he's gonna shove. I'm saying it's gonna shove.

I am betting heavily on the Patriots tonight because Tom Brady is under attack

Tom Brady somebody asked him a question about it at his locker... and he looked like he was going to cry... All I have to say about that is I'm betting heavily on the Patriots tonight.

The Astros are better than the Yankees in every facet: rotation, lineup, and relievers

As a scout, I am afraid of the Houston Astros. I will say it, I'm afraid. Their rotation is just as good as the Nationals and their lineup is better and their relievers are better.

Pete Carroll is the number one 'Dap' coach in the NFL

Number one dap coach would be, I think it's Pete Carroll... I don't think he's ever missed when he's like that.

The Washington Nationals are a wagon

The Nationals are a wagon. Especially, I saw this fact earlier, when they're wearing those blue... color rush uniforms, they're 20-1.

Jameis Winston is the funniest physical comedian in NFL history

This was, in my mind, the quintessential Jameis Winston performance. He is the funniest person I have ever watched in my entire life when it comes to physical comedy. His body makes no sense. He flails everywhere. He had five interceptions, fumbled on back-to-back plays, lost one of them. He started the game first play pick. Ended the game, last play pick.

The Los Angeles Chargers are officially done for the season

Chargers are done. Chargers are done. Did I done them last week? I didn't done them last week. They're done. They're officially done.

The San Francisco 49ers are officially for real

I'm instead going to use this time to say... I believe in the 49ers now. I apologize to the 49ers. I picked against them almost every single week. Their defense is very, very good. And George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL.