Takes

I will not drink alcohol until Thanksgiving to train for my dunk attempt

I'm going. I'm not drinking till Thanksgiving... I'm training every day. It's not something I've like forgot about. Overdrive.

I'm getting a gambling turtle named Mr. Pear to make picks on the show

I like it done. Mr. Pear. Mr. Pear... we'll stamp the slices of pears with the different logos. Yeah. And that will be, that will be how he picks his games. Which pair Mr. Pear. And we should never discipline him. Never.

Best action movies are essentially porn but with fighting instead of sex

In college I would do man movie Fridays and we would watch the worst action movie you can watch. Bloodsport, Under Siege, Cobra. It's basically like watching porn, but instead of fucking, they just beat the fuck out of each other because the dialogue's that bad. Best of the Best 2, maybe my favorite movie ever.

I will become a Colts fan in the AFC if Jim Irsay forces Dan Snyder to sell

I will become a Colts fan in the AFC if Jim Irsay does this [gets Dan Snyder out]. And I think he's going to, because you've never heard an owner say anything like this before.

Traveling with kids is a 'trip', not a 'vacation'

It's vacation when you don't have children with you. And it's a trip when you do, because you're not, it's not a vacation when you bring your kids... Away game parenting is so much harder than a home game.

Podcast rankings are misleading; people should check episode rankings for true listener stats

How come some podcasts randomly go higher than you guys in the podcast ranking sometimes? Does that mean they get more listeners? No, it does not. So if you start a new podcast, your podcast is always going to be... It just goes to number one. That's just how it works. The way to realize the success of shows is episodes. So if you go to the episode page, you can see where shows are ranked. Just look at the episodes, bitch.

The OMAD (One Meal A Day) diet is going to 'kick everyone's ass'

I'm on a diet. You've got to get your stomach small, bro. Once you reach OMAD (One Meal A Day), it's a level of intermittent fasting... If I never eat again, I will be skinny. OMAD is going to kick everyone's ass.

It's better to take vacations while you are young and can actually do things

As I've gotten to my age, I realized that... I'd rather take vacations while I'm youthful and can do many things. As opposed to earlier when you never took vacations. You don't want to just be an ant marching, dude. You're just a rat in a cage.

The cancelation of Barstool Van Talk saved their lives

We would all be super mega rich film stars or dead. Dead. That's my go-to answer when everyone, if anybody asks me a question like that, it's like, yeah, I would have died within six months. We did it for fucking seven days and I was pooping blood.

I am going to retire from podcasting in three years

I'm going to retire in like three years... I think as soon as I'm like, it's funny being old right now, but then when I'm real old, old, it'll be like, this sucks.

Wisconsin will make a tournament run because Roy Williams is no longer a good coach

I have talked myself into Wisconsin making a run. I said to myself, you know what? Roy Williams, he's not a good coach. [North Carolina] are going to turn the ball over. Wisconsin is going to win and hit their jump shots.

Always bet the 'Under' on bowl games played on Christmas

I always do Christmas unders. Got to go Christmas time unders although it's hot on the block right [Ben] Herbert, but I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Just the first game right? No first three games.

Skyline Chili is terrible and only worth eating for the laughs

If I never stepped foot into Skyline Chili again, that would be fantastic. But then whenever we're in the Ohio area, PFT's like, it would be funny if we went to a Skyline. ... [We] sit there silently trying one bite and being like, nope, still terrible.