Takes

CJ Stroud is secretly injured and that is why he is playing poorly

Is CJ Stroud hurt? Ooh, I don't know... remember he was having shoulder problems. And they said he's not having surgery, which is not what you want to hear unprompted going into a season... surgery just gets mentioned... he's been bad. Hard. He's been bad. Yeah. And I, I have no idea if he's hurt or not, but it seems like there's something that's fucked up about it.

Jalen Hurts is a winner who doesn't care about anything but the final result

Jalen Hurts in games that he has started and finished. He's 18 and oh in his last 18 games that he started and finished... The, the Eagles. And he doesn't give a fuck about how they just keep winning.

A Bengal tiger would kill a Jaguar in a fight every single time

I just looked at AI and a Bengal would kill a Jaguar like a hundred out of a hundred times. A Jaguar does have one of like the the fiercest bites in the animal kingdom. The problem is the Bengal outweighs the Jaguar by like 200 pounds.

Daniel Jones' performance in Week 1 was the most efficient game in Colts history

Peyton Manning played 208 games with the Colts... amount of times that he had the Colts with points on every drive, zero. Andrew Luck, 86... amount of times he had points on every drive with the Colts, zero. Daniel Jones played one game with the Colts and he has one game where they scored points on every single drive.

Matthew Stafford will be 6th all-time in passing yards by the end of the year

Matthew Stafford also reached 60,000 yards. He's now 10th all time in yards... If he has 3,600 yards this year, he's gonna end end the season sixth all time.

Auburn quarterback Jackson Arnold is in for a rocky season with bad reports coming out of camp

I have not heard anything good coming out of Auburn camp about Jackson Arnold. It's just like—you know, he's got insider people. I've heard a lot of negative buzz coming out... it could be a quarterback carousel there, it could be week to week.

Rajon Rondo is currently the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the nation

He is the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the country right now... there's all the basketball aggregators being like Rajon Rondo is currently the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the nation right now.

The MLB rivalry between the Padres and Mariners is called the 'Eddie Vedder Cup'

It's the Eddie Vedder Cup... The competition is named after Pearl Jam front man, rock and roll legend Eddie Vedder, who lived in both cities during his life and personally designed the trophy, which features a guitar.

Aroldis Chapman is officially unhittable again

I didn't know Aroldis Chapman was just like Unhittable again. ... He's like truly unhittable again. ... 0.33 ERA over his last 30 appearances. That's insane.

Europeans don't even have colleges

No, they don't have colleges in [Europe]. They don't have NFL teams there. But they have NFL games there. They don't play college games. Okay, actually they're universities.

Obama calls 'bullshit fouls' in pickup basketball

I heard from someone that's hooped with him [Obama]... I heard that He calls bullshit fouls... In pickup. It is Mark against his person. No, absolutely... Weak ass fouls and pick up basketball.

Fighter pay has increased with every new deal and will continue to go up with the Paramount Plus deal

Since 2001, the day we bought this company fighter pay has gone up. Every new deal that we've done, fight, pay has gone up and obviously fight or pay will go up for this deal. It's incredible for the fighters.

The Jets would be a playoff team if the season ended today

If the season ended today, [the Jets] would be a playoff team right now. Yes.

The NFL only banned smelling salts because they can mask the symptoms of a concussion

The reason why they banned [smelling salts] originally was because it's been shown that it can mask the symptoms of an actual concussion, which you think no, duh. That's what I was saying. The Josh Allen Texans game. That was the moment where they were like, oh, he got concussed and then he just hit the smelling salts and was back in.

A patella tendon rupture is the worst injury because no player ever returns to 100%

This is the worst thing that can happen. There's been no player that's gone back to a hundred percent off this ever. Like, JC Jackson had the same injury and we know what happened to him.

A quarterback with long hair will never win a Super Bowl

If you have long hair, you can't win a Super Bowl as a quarterback. Never been done.

I am not in the best shape of my life, but I am in pretty good shape

I wouldn't say the best shape, but I'm in pretty good shape. And honestly, out of my 15 years playing in National Football League, this is probably the best I've felt, you know, two weeks in into training camp.

I became a more efficient runner between ages 20 and 27, making me feel faster

I got faster somehow. I'm not gonna lie, but is it really did I get that much fast from 20 to 27? I wouldn't say now I just, I just got more efficient with my movements and there's no secret to it... I'm hitting high speeds.

Antonio Gates will be the first Hall of Famer to be inducted without ever playing a down of college football.

Antonio Gates will be the first hall of famer to be inducted that never played a down college football. [It's] kind of cool. That's pretty crazy. That's very cool.

I am currently in the best shape of my career.

[I am in the] best shape of my life right now. Was that partially because everyone called you fat online? No, don't care. Everybody Gotta have something to say. Something to talk about. That's just a life.

Sundays are easier than training camp because I don't have to face Lamar Jackson.

Sundays are way easier. Like, and sometimes when this dude, some of the stuff he be doing at practice, I be like, bro, I'm glad I'm not going up against that because nobody else in the league can do what he do... Lamar makes it easier going up against even other dual threat quarterbacks.

Nikola Jokic cares more about his horses winning than winning NBA championships

It was abundantly clear that [Jokic] cares more about his horse winning races than he does about winning NBA championships.

The 1992 Dream Team practices were more intense than the actual Olympic games

The practices were the most intense things I've ever been through in my life. Because you had Michael [Jordan] and Clyde [Drexler] who hated each other... The games were easy. But let me tell you something. Those practices were like game sevens.

Getting hit by a pitch only hurts for about thirty seconds to a minute

My son looks at me, he goes, do you think that hurt? I was like, yeah, probably hurt. But it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before pretty much every game of my career

I would eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before the game. I started that in the minor leagues... and I stuck with that even in the big leagues... pretty much every game [for 1,937 games].

Cutting dairy from my diet cured my chronic knee pain in three weeks

I was having knee issues and I was... I needed to make some adjustments... I told myself, I'm gonna do it [go dairy free] for a month... probably about three weeks into it, honestly, I felt so much better. My body just felt fresher... I attributed it to the lack of dairy at the time.

I had no intention of hurting Ruben Tejada during the 2015 NLDS slide

There was zero intention to fuck anybody up on that play... Obviously the outcome was different than other slides that I've had. I didn't anticipate actually hitting him nearly as hard as I did... I had no intention of hurting him whatsoever.

The Indiana Pacers were a physical and sneaky aggressive defensive team in the 2025 playoffs

I knew what it was going to be like Indiana, we knew how fast they were going to play and they were sneaky, aggressive defensively through the playoffs and nobody was really talking about it. But they were really physical.

The Home Run Derby's current timing format is too exhausting for players

I don't think people appreciate how exhausting it is for the players to take that many swings that fast. So it's something we will talk about with ESPN regarding changing the format.

Fixing blackouts is at the top of Major League Baseball's priority list

Blackouts number one are at the top of my list in terms of things we need to deal with. Ideally where you would like to be is if you have a digital home for baseball, you can go there and buy what you want to buy.

Longhaired quarterbacks have never won a Super Bowl in the history of the NFL

Longhaired quarterbacks have never won a Super Bowl. Never... Tom [Brady] when he lost [had long hair]. Longhaired quarterbacks never won the big one.

Wrexham's three consecutive promotions are a first in the history of English football

It's been wild. I mean, it's never, it's never happened before in the history of English football. No team has ever gone back to back to back. And that's, that's what we did this past year.

CONCACAF is rigged to ensure the United States doesn't win the Gold Cup

I join the chorus of those who were saying CONCACAF rigged. They don't want to see the United States win the Gold Cup. They'd much rather have it be Mexico.

I turned down hosting The Price Is Right despite a $10 million offer

I get a call out the blue and said, 'Hey, we're interested in having you host Price is Right.' And they said, Bob Barker signed off on you... I just didn't think I could do it well enough. It was $10 million a year [in 1999].

ESPN used a 'smear campaign' and mafia-like tactics against me when I left the network in 2007

It was frightening. Because there was this smear campaign that started the, any radio affiliate that had my show, you'd be dropped as an ESPN affiliate if you'd decided you still wanted to carry me. It's mafia shit. Yeah. There it was heavy handed... They were trying to send a message to the, the talent that they still had. Like if you leave, oh, we fuck you up. There's no doubt.

The Cincinnati Reds have an illegally flat pitching mound to gain an advantage

Cincinnati's tough. That mound is so flat. I know they're supposed to have regulations on how high the mound is, but whatever they're doing, they're cheating for sure. Because it's way lower. Our mound at home feels like a mountain compared to Cincinnati.

Bratwurst has the worst physical aftermath of any competitive eating food

There's a couple that like, I know going in, they're gonna be rough. Like anything with bratwurst, bratwurst, man, there's, they add extra fat in there and it, it's, it's running through you. It, it, it, it's, you're not in control. It's there. There's, there's accidents bound to happen there.

I can eat two gallons of soft-serve ice cream in eight minutes

I'm thinking close to, close to two gallons worth. It'd be, it'd be like, so I did an ice cream contest and after the contest I was like shivering because I was so, like, it was like everything was cold. So I, I think close to two gallons would be in, in about eight minutes.

Over 270 Awls have played the 'Dragon of Mount Spear Top' Dungeons and Dragons adventure

I have run this adventure in particular for 45 different groups of awls over the course of the last year. And that is a total of 274 Awls. That's awesome. We're out there. They're listening right now and they are judging your every move.

The Pardon My Take crew has never lost a man in their Dungeons and Dragons history

Every time we play this game, we make sure all of us remain a tightness all. We've never lost a man.

Ben Simmons hitting threes in a wide-open gym is the official sign of summer

We have the first sign of summer and it's Ben Simmons in a wide open gym hitting threes. He looked good. He looked so good... That's, that literally means summer's here.

It is faster for a catcher to call pitches with finger signs than with PitchCom when no one is on base

With nobody on base, you don't really need the pitch column. Nobody's out there. So it's honestly quicker to do it with the fingers than I think the pitch column.

I am statistically a better basketball player than Kevin Durant and Steph Curry

Career player efficiency rating. [Big Cat: Yours is 25.3. It is higher than... Kevin Durant, Charles Barkley, Tim Duncan, magic Hakeem and Steph Curry.] ... Statistically you only show statistically we only show the numbers. This is the number.

The best indicators for a recruit's success are the uncles on the mother's side

If you can meet mom and then if you meet one of her brothers. The uncles from mom's sides are usually the greatest indicators of what you're gonna get... DNA means a lot.

MLB is intentionally stealing home runs by making baseball seams higher

Rob Man-fraud is back. They're trying to steal dingers from you... the seams on the baseballs this year are higher than they have been in the past and it's stealing dingers away from everybody.

I am the undisputed greatest chess player of all time

I'm not sure I'm the right person to, to ask really, but I don't mind. That's that's completely fine by me... I feel like I'm, I'm getting there. So, that's all I can ask for.

I am currently the best at every single format of chess

At the moment I would say that I, I'm definitely the best at every, at every format that we we play. And honestly, my closest competitors are still the, the old guys, guys around my age. So yeah, the kids, they're good, but they're, they're not quite quite there yet.

The 2025 NBA Finals is effectively the Paul George Finals because he built both rosters.

We may be headed to a finals where both teams were built on the back of trading away Paul George. The Indiana Pacers traded Paul George to Oklahoma City for [Victor] Oladipo and [Domantas] Sabonis. Sabonis developed as a player and then they traded him for Tyrese Haliburton. The Thunder meanwhile traded Paul George for SGA and seven pick swaps, one of which turned into Jalen Williams.

The Colorado Rockies are on pace to win only 28 games this season, which would be far worse than the record-breaking 2024 White Sox.

The Rockies are nine and 45. They're on pace to win 28 games. The Chicago White Sox last year broke the record for most losses in 162 game season with 121 losses. They won 41 games. The Rockies are on pace to win 28 games. At this exact point last year, the White Sox had 15 wins. So six more wins than the Rockies have right now.

Jim Irsay was the first NFL owner with the 'balls' to stand up to Dan Snyder

I will never forget the fact that he is the first owner to have the balls to say fuck you to Dan Snyder when Snyder threatened to blackmail every other owner. And he goes, yeah, try me. 'cause everything that I've done is out in the open.