Takes

Buffalo has the most fanatical and unparalleled fan base in the NFL

I've loved a lot of the places that I've played. I really have, but nothing compares to the city of Buffalo. Nothing not even close. I love it.

I will not pursue a coaching career after I retire because I owe it to my family to be home

I don't [plan to coach]. I do love football. I think I love playing football. I do love the X's and O's of football, but I also feel like after I'm done playing... I owe it to my family to at least be dad and be home all the time.

The iceberg is the ultimate villain of the Titanic story

I'm going to go with the iceberg in Titanic. All time. Villain killed a lot of people... The iceberg fucking hanging out. It smoked like 4,000 people... The iceberg took a charge, right? The iceberg, the ball's going the other way. Worked didn't fucking move. Iceberg had position. That's a fact.

Anton Chigurh from 'No Country for Old Men' is one of the scariest and best villains of all time

I'm going to go with the dude from No Country for Old Men. Anton [Chigurh]... What a fucking scary ass villain. The cattle [gun] destroyed people's heads. Oh, what a fucking villain? All timer.

Capitalism is the true villain of the Titanic movie

Billy says capitalism is the villain and Titanic because we're trying to maximize profits instead of safety.

The boy from 'The Giving Tree' is a toxic friend and a 'real prick'

The kid in the giving tree... the kids a real prick... the tree is just honestly, a toxic friend. Is it like, he's a piece of shit. The kid takes every frame, everything from this tree until he cuts the tree down at the end and sits on his like, thank you tree for being here for me when I'm an old man... no you fucking prick. You just killed your best friend.

Patrick Mahomes will be the best quarterback of all time

Mahomes is probably going to be the best quarterback of all time and that's like, you don't get to pick where you're drafted for sure. Then just decides like, Hey, I'm going to be the best of all time. Oh, cool. Just runs up the score every week.

Zach Wilson will win a Super Bowl for the Jets

I was watching the highlights again today and I was like, Zach Wilson wins the Super Bowl for the Jets. I'm going to convert to Mormonism.

Big Ben is officially my number one quarterback in the AFC North

I would have this [Big Ben] as my number one quarterback in the division. This [Ben] that we saw from the last week.

Mitch Trubisky will eventually sign with a team like the Eagles and be the guy

At the end of the season, there's going to be a team like the Eagles that's going to go out and be like, 'Hey, Mitch might be the guy. He was a first-round pick, remember?' And then they're going to get him and he's going to be good if he has a good play caller.

Justin Fields will be the Bears' starting quarterback by the end of the 2021 season

I know that Justin Fields will be the starter by the end of the year. But when [Nagy] gets up in front of the media and says, 'we got to see what Andy Dalton looks like in the regular season'—why? We've never seen that before?

The Falcons are going to be really, really bad this season

One team that I kind of forgot about... the Falcons are going to be really bad, like really, really bad. They were bad last year. And they got rid of their best player [Julio Jones].

Nick Sirianni is going to stink as a head coach

I'm ready to say that. I think Nick Sirianni is going to stink as a head coach. I think he's going to be, because he's only, he's trying to do the thing he thinks that he's Belichick already... You can already see him like trying to play the games. He did the whole rock paper scissors thing, which seemed like he was outsmarting himself a little bit.

Trey Lance is going to be the king of the 'new fun' quarterbacks

Trey Lance, I think, is going to be the king of the new fun quarterbacks, because he's going to have some shitty turnovers, and then he's going to have some awesome throws sprinkled in and some great runs.

High-fiving the opposing pitcher after hitting a home run is over the line

The high five of the opposing pitcher is over the line and I don't support it. The pitcher runs up to home plate, high fives the batter as he's running around... That's too much for me.

You shouldn't be allowed to coach Little League if your children aren't in that age group

You should honestly should not be allowed to coach Little League if your children are not in that age group. Agreed. That's not a career, but you can stay on a Little League. Coach is not a job that you have for the rest of your life. You don't retire from becoming a Little League coach.

Mitch Trubisky is one of the best handoff quarterbacks in the NFL

I've given you a lot of credit in the past because I think that you are like one of the best handoff quarterbacks. Like really? You have a very quick step, you extend the arm. There's an art to handing the ball off, isn't there?

I want to play in the NFL for 12 or 13 more seasons

[Playing for 12, 13 more seasons] is the goal. Play as long as possible. I mean, this is what you dream of to play football at the professional level as a kid.

The Pyramids of Giza were probably built by aliens

I'm going to go with the real pyramids, Pyramids of Giza... the greatest structural engineering ever done, probably done by aliens.

Buffalo is the greatest place on Earth

The city of Buffalo is the greatest place on Earth. We went to the meet and greet yesterday, it was like two and a half hours straight of meeting people, taking pictures, and it was awesome... there's just something special about the people here.

Skip Bayless officially won the breakup with Stephen A. Smith

Max Kellerman is out. So officially, like Stephen A. Smith, I think Skip officially has won this breakup because Stephen A. Smith is now moving on from the rebound. It was a five-year rebound or whatever.

The Washington Football Team should keep 'Football Team' as their permanent name

If they make the playoffs, it has to stay football team. Teams need mascots. I'm okay to be a football. I like Red Hogs. I like Red Wolves. I also think that they might just say this is a fake list and bring back Sentinels.

Porn is the driving engine behind the internet

Anytime they try to take porn off of the internet, it's like that's what the internet was... The driving engine behind the internet is porn. It is. It's like trying to shovel a driveway in Antarctica. If you took all the porn off the internet, people would just not be on the internet anymore.

The Buffalo Bills will win the Super Bowl this year

Lifelong Buffalo guy. Bills through and through. Is this the year? Yep. Done. I just won Super Bowl, you know. I mean, watching four in a row go down, I was just so heartbroken.

Grit is defined by guys who don't let failure define them, but refine them

I'd say that guys that never give in, have a lot of toughness, probably have faced some adversity in their life or failure on a practice field and really didn't let failure define them, but more refine them, if you will.

Nick Saban dresses better than Bill Belichick

They're both a little different. I'd say Bill's kind of dry humor. Nick will get you some zingers in there. I'd say Nick definitely dresses better than Bill. That's probably the big difference between the two.

Bad football plays can turn out good because 'negative times negative is positive'

Really, my perspective is just try to make a play. When I get in those situations where I'm 10 yards behind the line of scrimmage, I'm like, I can't take a sack here. I've got to do whatever I can to get out of this... They say negative times a negative is positive. That's kind of my mindset.

Design downfield laterals are the future of football

Design downfield laterals. That's the future of football. Yeah, we'll set up a Zoom. But honestly, the Hail Mary on like second down, they'll never see it coming.

I expect myself to progress and get even better this year

The bar I set for myself is higher than anything anyone else can set for me. I mean, I expect [myself to keep getting better] too, though. It's something I set for myself as well.

The Buffalo Bills have a really good roster and the front office has tough decisions to make

I'll tell you what, Brandon Beane's going to have some tough decisions to make because it's—we have a really good roster.

Buffalo is 100% a 'we' town for sports fans

Fans should be allowed to say, like, we kicked their ass yesterday, right? Right? That's totally fine to say. Do you take offense? No, we're all one big family here. Absolutely we. They're 100% we.

Miami, Anaheim, and Arlington are not 'we' towns for sports fans

I would say like Miami, probably not a we town. Yeah, right. Maybe Anaheim. Anaheim, not a we town. Arlington, Texas. Yeah, not a we town.

Cranking the AC as low as possible is the #1 hotel move

Easy 1-1, cranking the AC as low as it can possibly go. That is the number one rule of every hotel room. You get in there. It's not your AC. Pray it goes below 65.

The 'Shampoo Soup' is a top-tier hotel move

This is my patented thing. I might trademark this move, but the shampoo soup. You get in the shower, you just take all of the free complimentary bottles and you just pour them into your hand and just rub it all over your body. Listen, that's not really shampoo. It's not body wash. It's all basically the same thing. You just combine them.

Every hotel room needs two beds so one can be used for luggage and clothes

Using one of the two beds in your room as the bag and clothes bed. Yeah, as a shelf. You just put all your stuff out on there, dirty clothes, that goes on the bed too. It's actually – most bedrooms that are being designed right now in America should have a second bed. Because it's so much easier to just use a bed as that than it is to use a closet or a dresser.

Hotels that set 6 a.m. alarms on the bedside clock are the worst

The worst is when you go to a hotel and you don't even realize that there's an alarm set and it will go off. That happens like once every 10 times, but it's brutal. Like a 6 a.m. alarm and you just have to fucking smash that clock against the wall.

The hot tub is a great hotel move for vacations and late nights

My last one is going to be the hot tub. The hot tub in the pool... the hot tub is a great thing to come back to at the end of the day.

You must loosen the hotel sheets before getting in or it's a 'straight jacket'

One of the first things I do when I get in a hotel room is I rip the sheets because they always make the bed so fucking tight that if you try to get into it, you basically get—it's a straight jacket. So I like to rip up the bottom of the sheets and kind of loosen up the bed.

If a hotel door has an actual key, it is either quaint or a crack house

If you stay in a hotel that has a key right now, it's one of two things. It's either like if you have a key to unlock your door, it's either a very quaint place or it's just a crack house. And there's no in-between whatsoever.

Hard Knocks stinks

Hard Knocks stinks. There's nothing that can turn around a bad episode of Hard Knocks like watching it with a cool dog... The ending was, I had to like check myself because they had the dramatic rainstorm and Liev Schreiber was doing some unbelievable speech, and then I was like, wait, they lost in a preseason game to the Cardinals by three points. What are we doing here?

Dak Prescott is probably going to miss the whole year with his shoulder injury

They can't show it [on Hard Knocks] because they don't want to tell us that [Dak Prescott's] shoulder's fucked up and he's probably going to miss the whole year.

Jerry Jones is the only person I've seen put on weight after the age of 75

Jerry is the only guy I think I've ever seen that's put on weight after the age of 75. Most people just start to wither away. He's just ballooning up.

Rex Ryan ruined Hard Knocks because everyone tries to replicate his performance

I actually think that we need a think piece, an oral history of Hard Knocks, how Rex Ryan ruined Hard Knocks. Because everyone after Rex is trying to have a moment like Rex, and you'll never have that moment again.

John Mara is the machine that needs to be raged against for his 'anti-fun' taunting stance

John Mara, if you take one look at the guy, Mr. Mara, he is the man. He is the machine that needs to be raged against. He looks like when you die, if you still have a boss, that's what he looks like... He's the antithesis of fun.

The Tim Tebow tight end experiment was a farce and he sucked

My hot seat is anyone who likes Tim Tebow because he got cut and the farce of Tim Tebow actually trying out for the Jacksonville Jaguars and being a tight end... I'm just sick of Tim Tebow, especially the fact that he was asked to be a tight end like 10 years ago when he was still in the NFL said no. And now he tried again and he sucked.

The New Orleans Saints will be my second team this year

The New Orleans Saints because they just signed Kevin White, Rookie of the Year. So Jameis Winston to Kevin White, I think I have a second team.

NFL jerseys will eventually have advertising patches like the NBA and NHL

The NHL, like the NBA, is adding advertising to the front of the jerseys in 2022. I feel like it's inevitable for NFL.

The Warriors are finally going to be the 'real' Warriors again this season

I'm really excited for this upcoming NBA season, more so than I've been in a long time. I'm pumped to see the Warriors again. They're actually going to be the Warriors.

Downfield laterals are the next revolution in football

Design downfield laterals... a receiver catches the ball, have a guy trailing them... that's going to be a chunk play every time. That's going to be the next revolution in football... it's the future of football.

Larry the Goldfish is officially admitted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame archives

We can certainly put him in the archives... He's not going in the bronze bust room. He's not getting a gold jacket... he will be included in the archives of the Hall of Fame.